From a brown eyed mother, I feel your pain. Jealousy and envy are two sins I try to avoid, but I do see your point. Seeing other young men marrying a wife and having children, it’s hard to watch. I don’t ever expect to have that, but who knows maybe my son could change, he’s 36 now says he’s dating a trans woman which I guess is a man. I don’t know. I can’t even fathom the whole thing. It’s just too much for my aging mind. I have been part of the Y me crowd too. It’s another cross I bear in my life with many crosses. I have decided to stop contacting my son because everything I get back is mean and negative and horrible and he just loves his glitter family. I just hope I’m alive when he does decide to come back if he does. I can’t believe there’s so many of us mothers suffering in a way others really don’t understand. I pray for all of us and our affected adult children. May God grant us special blessings of Peace and Hope. 🙏
I totally get these emotions. My daughter transitioned at around 31 so I don't hold out much hope. I feel so much for all the parents that have had to watch their teens disappear before their eyes. My daughter chose to move to Canada before informing us of her decision so I don't have to physically witness the slow motion car crash that is transition.
I too envy my friends who have 'normal' families, with weddings and grandchildren etc. I love being apart of their lives and sharing in the happy experiences that I will never have. It gives me joy to be apart of 'normal' life but the pain and grief never leaves my mind. As others have expressed here, we must hold onto hope and enjoy the support of one another. Bless us all.
Please don't give yourself a hard time for longing for a normal life without this nightmare cult poisoning your family.
EVERYONE longs for a normal life without this nightmare cult poisoning their family. EVERYONE.
Some are lucky.
Some are not lucky.
It has nothing to do with who you are and everything to do with being stuck living through this era with this particular nightmare cult going on all around us.
Longing for a normal life like everyone else just makes you normal. In fact, that is the quintessence of being normal.
And yet the guilt is worse, because I let her out into a world that condones this madness; that I did not protect her from it, that I did not grab her & shake her & whisk her off on a world cruise to escape this insanity. Because never in a million zillion years did I think my kid would fall for this BS.
But because ultimately we created this sick corrupt world that exists, or allowed it to exist.
I relate very much to this. I was never a jealous person but I can’t help comparing myself to parents who have happy, healthy kids and envying them their “normal” problems. I have sworn off social media - I don’t want to post photos or any information about my family for people who wouldn’t understand, and I don’t want to see the beautiful normal families of people I know who were luckier or better parents, and I definitely don’t want to see heartbreaking pictures of other families who are similarly afflicted, and I REALLY don’t want to see propaganda from people (who have no clue what they are really supporting) posting about how important it is to “support trans kids” or use preferred pronouns or give up women’s sports in the name of inclusion.
We know how this feels. We weep with you. We are traumatized with you. We envy too - oh to have "normal" problems of a young adult, how we pray with you.
Envy is not good; for one thing it’s one of the deadly sins (in my faith) but I find myself envious of families who are not afflicted with this social contagion. I’m jealous of my siblings’ kids; no one is entrenched in this ‘cult’ and I have a lot of nephews and nieces. So I ask, ‘why my daughter?’; ‘why us?’; why me?’.
My heart is broken and I constantly turn to God. I have never prayed so much in my whole life especially for my daughter.
You captured it- just a series of emotions. All I have is hope. I don’t know if I can even face my child again if she were to return. Such a terrible and tragic decision.
My heart bleeds with yours. Watching a child literally 'vanish' before your eyes is the most tortuous thing a parent can go through. Please hold out a modicum of hope. You never knew life would serve you this awful dish and you never know if things can change in the future. Praying that there is hope for all of us and our beloved children.
Thank you for writing and thank you everyone for the comments. It does help to feel less alone and and to know that my heartbreak and sorrow is a perfectly normal reaction which nobody unaffected can understand.
People change, as they mature and circumstances happen. You say that he will never change, but you don’t know what will happen in the future. My son was in the cult for 7 years and he detransitioned (at least physically) last year, at 25. He now lives life as a man. I always told myself “he is still my son.. he is still there”. I never gave up the reality that, in spite of all the physical and behavior changes, and his delusional thinking, my son was still there.
It makes sense that he would come to his senses in his mid-20s. That's when the brain is mostly done developing. How ANYONE who has ever known a teenager and how their opinions can change on a dime could endorse the permanent mutilation of healthy bodies at that age is beyond my ability to understand. This is a CULT. I'm so happy to hear that your son detransitioned!!!! As long as there is air in our lungs, THERE IS HOPE.
You have renewed my hope that my soon to be 26 year old son might one day detransition as well. I pray to God that He allow whatever is still left of my son to resist until that day comes.
From a brown eyed mother, I feel your pain. Jealousy and envy are two sins I try to avoid, but I do see your point. Seeing other young men marrying a wife and having children, it’s hard to watch. I don’t ever expect to have that, but who knows maybe my son could change, he’s 36 now says he’s dating a trans woman which I guess is a man. I don’t know. I can’t even fathom the whole thing. It’s just too much for my aging mind. I have been part of the Y me crowd too. It’s another cross I bear in my life with many crosses. I have decided to stop contacting my son because everything I get back is mean and negative and horrible and he just loves his glitter family. I just hope I’m alive when he does decide to come back if he does. I can’t believe there’s so many of us mothers suffering in a way others really don’t understand. I pray for all of us and our affected adult children. May God grant us special blessings of Peace and Hope. 🙏
I totally get these emotions. My daughter transitioned at around 31 so I don't hold out much hope. I feel so much for all the parents that have had to watch their teens disappear before their eyes. My daughter chose to move to Canada before informing us of her decision so I don't have to physically witness the slow motion car crash that is transition.
I too envy my friends who have 'normal' families, with weddings and grandchildren etc. I love being apart of their lives and sharing in the happy experiences that I will never have. It gives me joy to be apart of 'normal' life but the pain and grief never leaves my mind. As others have expressed here, we must hold onto hope and enjoy the support of one another. Bless us all.
Please don't give yourself a hard time for longing for a normal life without this nightmare cult poisoning your family.
EVERYONE longs for a normal life without this nightmare cult poisoning their family. EVERYONE.
Some are lucky.
Some are not lucky.
It has nothing to do with who you are and everything to do with being stuck living through this era with this particular nightmare cult going on all around us.
Longing for a normal life like everyone else just makes you normal. In fact, that is the quintessence of being normal.
And yet the guilt is worse, because I let her out into a world that condones this madness; that I did not protect her from it, that I did not grab her & shake her & whisk her off on a world cruise to escape this insanity. Because never in a million zillion years did I think my kid would fall for this BS.
But because ultimately we created this sick corrupt world that exists, or allowed it to exist.
I feel you sooooo soooo much 😢
I relate very much to this. I was never a jealous person but I can’t help comparing myself to parents who have happy, healthy kids and envying them their “normal” problems. I have sworn off social media - I don’t want to post photos or any information about my family for people who wouldn’t understand, and I don’t want to see the beautiful normal families of people I know who were luckier or better parents, and I definitely don’t want to see heartbreaking pictures of other families who are similarly afflicted, and I REALLY don’t want to see propaganda from people (who have no clue what they are really supporting) posting about how important it is to “support trans kids” or use preferred pronouns or give up women’s sports in the name of inclusion.
Your envy is justified. I am so sorry for you, and all parents watching their kids self destruct.
You are (sadly) not alone. So many (too many) of us are unwillingly walking a similar path.
Me too😥❤️
I share your pain, and your story.
We know how this feels. We weep with you. We are traumatized with you. We envy too - oh to have "normal" problems of a young adult, how we pray with you.
I totally agree.
Envy is not good; for one thing it’s one of the deadly sins (in my faith) but I find myself envious of families who are not afflicted with this social contagion. I’m jealous of my siblings’ kids; no one is entrenched in this ‘cult’ and I have a lot of nephews and nieces. So I ask, ‘why my daughter?’; ‘why us?’; why me?’.
My heart is broken and I constantly turn to God. I have never prayed so much in my whole life especially for my daughter.
God bless you and your family.
You captured it- just a series of emotions. All I have is hope. I don’t know if I can even face my child again if she were to return. Such a terrible and tragic decision.
You can. It is hard but she will need you. The world will abandon her.
My heart bleeds with yours. Watching a child literally 'vanish' before your eyes is the most tortuous thing a parent can go through. Please hold out a modicum of hope. You never knew life would serve you this awful dish and you never know if things can change in the future. Praying that there is hope for all of us and our beloved children.
Thank you for writing and thank you everyone for the comments. It does help to feel less alone and and to know that my heartbreak and sorrow is a perfectly normal reaction which nobody unaffected can understand.
People change, as they mature and circumstances happen. You say that he will never change, but you don’t know what will happen in the future. My son was in the cult for 7 years and he detransitioned (at least physically) last year, at 25. He now lives life as a man. I always told myself “he is still my son.. he is still there”. I never gave up the reality that, in spite of all the physical and behavior changes, and his delusional thinking, my son was still there.
It makes sense that he would come to his senses in his mid-20s. That's when the brain is mostly done developing. How ANYONE who has ever known a teenager and how their opinions can change on a dime could endorse the permanent mutilation of healthy bodies at that age is beyond my ability to understand. This is a CULT. I'm so happy to hear that your son detransitioned!!!! As long as there is air in our lungs, THERE IS HOPE.
You have renewed my hope that my soon to be 26 year old son might one day detransition as well. I pray to God that He allow whatever is still left of my son to resist until that day comes.