My son had breast implants done he has no money no real career went on go fund me and evil people gave just enough to make it happen. He has removed me from his life. I did nothing but love him but o wont endorse the lie there for Iam dead to him .
So sorry. It's terrible the people that enable this. Unfortunately my health insurance paid for my daughter's surgeries. I had no say in it even though I pay for it. How cruel is that?!
I attended Genspect's Detrans Awareness Day event in Washington D.C. last week and chatted with detransitioners who have had long-term side effects from taking testosterone or estrogen and also from having the breast and/or bottom surgeries. Two young ladies who had taken testosterone (when they were trans woman for a few years each) told me that when their voices deepened, they realized that they lost the ability to scream. One of them mentioned that this frightened her because she realized that when she might need help, no one would hear her because she could not scream. They both said that when their voices deepened, they had to make an effort to get their voices up so that people could hear them. This physical effort to force their voice box to produce a louder, more normal pitch in their voice is difficult, they said. At the table we were at, I could raise my voice so that others could hear me speak while I realized that the young lady next to me who had said this could not do this. They told me that, over time, they would or could lose their voice (another result of taking testosterone). One of these ladies mentioned something about one side of her voice box becoming swollen because of the testosterone. This young lady had a surgery after she detransitioned to change her condition and bring back a female voice. She has a female voice and can now scream, but her voice is not her original voice, she said. The other young lady is fearful of having the surgery because she said that it is risky.
Thank you for this powerful and beautiful essay. You write with such deep understanding of the role of "he" in your daughter's psyche. It was comforting to read your insights which are similar to a letter I once wrote and didn't' send to my own lost daughter. In the past, these kinds of splits in the personality of a troubled and often trauma afflicted person, was called a split personality, and then "de-bunked" and replaced with "disassociation complex" also now debunked, by the same crazy therapists that affirm there is such as a thing as a woman who is biologically Male, or a man who is biologically Female, etc. And in the 19th century and before that, we would say a person was "possessed" and would pray over them. Which many of us are doing now, anyway.
"You were never masculine and are still not." It's ironic that many of these girls, our girls, are very feminine. My daughter calls herself a man, yet the way she treats people and handles situations screams: "a woman".
It's so obvious to everyone... except for them.
These girls put on this bizarre boyish set of mannerisms that don't fit. They try to appear boisterous and nonchalant, but it's an ill-suited armor masking bleeding wounds.
My daughter (who thinks she is a man) is the same way. All of her behavior and human interaction are stereotypically female, and all of her friends are either other trans-men or actual women. There is nothing male about her.
All of the parents of these “trans” kids and young adults that we raised and never dreamed about any of this kind of thing happening. I never even heard the word “trans” until my son brought it up - I was thinking transformer like a game or a toy! But little did I know this is no joke no toy no bad movie! This is the life they chose to go down influenced by Demons in my estimation all over this world! The devil is confusion and that is just what this is! Confused with their gender, influenced by other confused people promulgated by the evil one. If you don’t believe in the devil read “The Dogma of Hell” it’s real and has gone after our kids. Pray to God for the TRUTH. To be revealed to their hearts pray for their Guardian Angel to lead them to the truth. I’m sorry all of us are going thru this terrible pain. I pray my son will wake up sone day and return to his family who still loves him. God Bless you and All of us suffering parents🙏
I have never related more to a post on PITT than this one. I am sorry you (and I ) are going through this and hope your daughter (and mine) will someday soon realize she is not the “he” she has created as a shield against a perceived danger in being herself.
I’m there with you. I die a little bit everyday and I’m not hopeful for a light at the end of this very, very long tunnel or deep abyss, I should say.
My daughter has been on this ‘trans’ cult for almost eight years now. She told me she’ll go away to college this year; she WILL take hormones and no one can stop her. So my thinking is that as an adult, she can do it but I’m pretty sure she’ll suffer the bad effects of testosterone to women. She’s determined to do this because she said, “ I want the good and the bad” (her words). It s quite heartbreaking💔.
The fact that these kids, once they are over 18, may just be able to legally get hold of these drugs, doesn't mean they should get to use them in YOUR house. Wish you had thrown away that poison, just like any parent would throw it away if they found a knife that their kid used to self-harm, or laxatives being used by their anorexic offspring. If they live by themselves, you can't stop them, but you can absolutely demand that they stop for as long as they're under your roof, living on your property. Which is what I would have done, had I been one of these kids' mother. An ultimatum should be made: either they choose to poison themselves, or they choose to live at home. If they are past the age of 18, just like they can legally get wrong sex hormones, they can also legally be KICKED OUT. Which, sorry, not sorry, I feel no worse for them than I do for any heroin addict who gets kicked out for using heroin at home. Self-destructive actions have CONSEQUENCES, and this new generation of kids really needs to learn that. They don't get told a hard "no" anywhere NEAR often enough! Binders, wrong sex hormones, and other self-harming "trans" / "queer" paraphernalia should be immediately destroyed, upon finding it in YOUR home!! And I'll even take it further than that: I think, if you fail to do so, you are enabling their self-harm, and it makes you complicit in it. Plus speaking as someone who did a lot of psychedelics in my 20s: absolutely NEVER would I ever have dreamt of bringing that stuff into my parents' home! And if I had still done so, then they had found my stash, and destroyed it..? I would have been angry, yes, but I also would have completely understood it! Parents are allowed to have HARD limits, and there needs to be certain HARD no's, where if you break them, either you swear never to do that again, and have to be on your BEST behavior going forward, if you want to be allowed to stay, or you get kicked the fuck out!! And yes, I am rambling at this point, but if I found bloody testo gel in my hypothetical daughter's room..? I'd much rather shoot myself in the leg than ever leave it there for her to KEEP harming herself with! Same as if I'd found a gun, or a knife! I absolutely COULD NOT have lived with myself if I did not destroy it, and I don't understand how ANY parent can!!
..My apologies if I misunderstood this post, and she either does not live with you, or you did in fact destroy it.
THANK YOU! I agree with you. My daughter lived with us while socially transitioning for the past four years. We did NOT allow her to hurt herself while living in our home. We hoped and prayed that she would come out of the fog. She didn't. She was just biding her time.
The moment she was no longer under our roof, and headed 'back' to college, she broke her promise to us to wait until she was at least 25 before she started any medical interventions (testosterone and/or surgeries). She is 23 and living on her own, working and attending college. She no longer speaks to us but assumed that we would continue to pay her bills.
We do not. We WILL NOT enable her in anyway to hurt herself. It is just like you said. Would you allow your child to shoot up heroine in your home? Would you buy them everything they needed so they could use their own money to buy drugs?
I recently watched the movie "Beautiful Boy", based on a true story, with Timothee Chalamet and Steve Carrell. If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it.
At some point, we can't continue to LET them harm themselves, because yes, it becomes enabling. Sometimes we just have to let them go and hope and pray that they come back someday. It's called tough love. People used to use it all the time up until very recently.
She knows that we love her, and that the door is always open.
It isn't easy. I cry EVERY DAY. I miss my daughter, but she is determined to destroy herself and I WILL NOT help her in any way to do that.
I agree. To pretend not to know, to not say you found the testosterone gel, that opens the door to Satan.
Pretending not to know is harmful. It leaves a daughter completely alone, without guidance, safety checks, or honest support. Silence doesn’t protect her — it exposes her to real medical risks and teaches her to keep secrecy against her own parent. Avoiding the truth might feel easier, but it destroys trust and lets danger grow unchecked. A parent’s job is to step in, not look away.
Respectfully this is a personal and difficult choice unique to each family situation. You have stated that you are NOT a parent of a trans identified child. We here are in the midst of a storm that can’t be easily understood and each of us deserves respect for our journey. I would ask that you find other places to write your opinions out of care and respect as fellow human beings.
Thank you. Noone who isn't a parent in this has the faintest idea what it means. "Advice" and opinions like this are causing so much pain. If I had been the author and had to read this response, I'd take a breakdown and be plunged into despair.
I remember hearing Dr. John Delony on his question and answer show on YouTube take a call from parents who threw their child out (I think that case was over using birth control). And at least part of his response in that situation was, when the child is ousted, he and she is more scared, they'll be more likely to rely on those who seem to offer "love" and who support the very thing that they are doing that is wrong. The "I'll cut you off" approach can also not just enable, but increase the problem. But I appreciate the concern and the passion you have for the terrible harm testosterone and other such things is doing to so many young people.
Oh beware everybody, girls who have no access to testosterone are using Minoxidil to give themselves a mustache. Hairwise I think minoxidil is reversible however there are side effects, the most prominent being tachycardia.
I think a better comparison would be disorders like anorexia or narcisitic pd...because they share the 'egosyntonic' state where the sufferer is unable to perceive that they have a disorder. I think people suffering psychosis are often aware something is going wrong inside their psyche/losing touch with reality.
I actually think that most ROGD kids don't have schizophrenia and are not even mentally ill (at least not until wrong sex hormones wreck their physical and mental health). For most it's ideology and twisting of terms.
I agree...it's a extreme belief or a 'frame' through which they are understanding their experiences. Once the belief is dropped, recovery is possible. It is not a lifelong mental health disorder. That's not to say that a person may have other mental health issues like cluster b traits/disorders.
Feeling your pain as I am going through the same thing. I hope this stops for all of us. The lie of the "authentic" self is such a horrible joke. Authentically my daughter is female and will always be female.
"The lie of the "authentic" self is such a horrible joke." Agree completely. The obsession with the self...and with it the rejection of traditional and natural bonds...seems to be at the center of the unhappiness and dystopia on display in the West.
Please don't give up. Let her know she is destroying her beautiful body. I tried to tell my daughter the ills of testosterone (the incontinence, the sexual dysfunction, the painful vocal chords, etc....) and the one thing that finally got her attention was that her hair would start falling out. BINGO. That was the straw that broke the camel's back. That was the one thing she could identify with in the here and now. She stopped using T!!
My son had breast implants done he has no money no real career went on go fund me and evil people gave just enough to make it happen. He has removed me from his life. I did nothing but love him but o wont endorse the lie there for Iam dead to him .
So sorry. It's terrible the people that enable this. Unfortunately my health insurance paid for my daughter's surgeries. I had no say in it even though I pay for it. How cruel is that?!
I know that one until he just turned 26 now he is off my insurance so evil our insurance companies
I attended Genspect's Detrans Awareness Day event in Washington D.C. last week and chatted with detransitioners who have had long-term side effects from taking testosterone or estrogen and also from having the breast and/or bottom surgeries. Two young ladies who had taken testosterone (when they were trans woman for a few years each) told me that when their voices deepened, they realized that they lost the ability to scream. One of them mentioned that this frightened her because she realized that when she might need help, no one would hear her because she could not scream. They both said that when their voices deepened, they had to make an effort to get their voices up so that people could hear them. This physical effort to force their voice box to produce a louder, more normal pitch in their voice is difficult, they said. At the table we were at, I could raise my voice so that others could hear me speak while I realized that the young lady next to me who had said this could not do this. They told me that, over time, they would or could lose their voice (another result of taking testosterone). One of these ladies mentioned something about one side of her voice box becoming swollen because of the testosterone. This young lady had a surgery after she detransitioned to change her condition and bring back a female voice. She has a female voice and can now scream, but her voice is not her original voice, she said. The other young lady is fearful of having the surgery because she said that it is risky.
So sad. 😥
Thank you for this powerful and beautiful essay. You write with such deep understanding of the role of "he" in your daughter's psyche. It was comforting to read your insights which are similar to a letter I once wrote and didn't' send to my own lost daughter. In the past, these kinds of splits in the personality of a troubled and often trauma afflicted person, was called a split personality, and then "de-bunked" and replaced with "disassociation complex" also now debunked, by the same crazy therapists that affirm there is such as a thing as a woman who is biologically Male, or a man who is biologically Female, etc. And in the 19th century and before that, we would say a person was "possessed" and would pray over them. Which many of us are doing now, anyway.
They are certainly "possessed" by a diabolical ideology/cult. No doubt about that.
Read about Internal Family Systems. There’s the Core Self and there are The Parts.
"You were never masculine and are still not." It's ironic that many of these girls, our girls, are very feminine. My daughter calls herself a man, yet the way she treats people and handles situations screams: "a woman".
It's so obvious to everyone... except for them.
These girls put on this bizarre boyish set of mannerisms that don't fit. They try to appear boisterous and nonchalant, but it's an ill-suited armor masking bleeding wounds.
I'm so sorry.
My daughter (who thinks she is a man) is the same way. All of her behavior and human interaction are stereotypically female, and all of her friends are either other trans-men or actual women. There is nothing male about her.
All of the parents of these “trans” kids and young adults that we raised and never dreamed about any of this kind of thing happening. I never even heard the word “trans” until my son brought it up - I was thinking transformer like a game or a toy! But little did I know this is no joke no toy no bad movie! This is the life they chose to go down influenced by Demons in my estimation all over this world! The devil is confusion and that is just what this is! Confused with their gender, influenced by other confused people promulgated by the evil one. If you don’t believe in the devil read “The Dogma of Hell” it’s real and has gone after our kids. Pray to God for the TRUTH. To be revealed to their hearts pray for their Guardian Angel to lead them to the truth. I’m sorry all of us are going thru this terrible pain. I pray my son will wake up sone day and return to his family who still loves him. God Bless you and All of us suffering parents🙏
💔😖😣
I have never related more to a post on PITT than this one. I am sorry you (and I ) are going through this and hope your daughter (and mine) will someday soon realize she is not the “he” she has created as a shield against a perceived danger in being herself.
I’m there with you. I die a little bit everyday and I’m not hopeful for a light at the end of this very, very long tunnel or deep abyss, I should say.
My daughter has been on this ‘trans’ cult for almost eight years now. She told me she’ll go away to college this year; she WILL take hormones and no one can stop her. So my thinking is that as an adult, she can do it but I’m pretty sure she’ll suffer the bad effects of testosterone to women. She’s determined to do this because she said, “ I want the good and the bad” (her words). It s quite heartbreaking💔.
The fact that these kids, once they are over 18, may just be able to legally get hold of these drugs, doesn't mean they should get to use them in YOUR house. Wish you had thrown away that poison, just like any parent would throw it away if they found a knife that their kid used to self-harm, or laxatives being used by their anorexic offspring. If they live by themselves, you can't stop them, but you can absolutely demand that they stop for as long as they're under your roof, living on your property. Which is what I would have done, had I been one of these kids' mother. An ultimatum should be made: either they choose to poison themselves, or they choose to live at home. If they are past the age of 18, just like they can legally get wrong sex hormones, they can also legally be KICKED OUT. Which, sorry, not sorry, I feel no worse for them than I do for any heroin addict who gets kicked out for using heroin at home. Self-destructive actions have CONSEQUENCES, and this new generation of kids really needs to learn that. They don't get told a hard "no" anywhere NEAR often enough! Binders, wrong sex hormones, and other self-harming "trans" / "queer" paraphernalia should be immediately destroyed, upon finding it in YOUR home!! And I'll even take it further than that: I think, if you fail to do so, you are enabling their self-harm, and it makes you complicit in it. Plus speaking as someone who did a lot of psychedelics in my 20s: absolutely NEVER would I ever have dreamt of bringing that stuff into my parents' home! And if I had still done so, then they had found my stash, and destroyed it..? I would have been angry, yes, but I also would have completely understood it! Parents are allowed to have HARD limits, and there needs to be certain HARD no's, where if you break them, either you swear never to do that again, and have to be on your BEST behavior going forward, if you want to be allowed to stay, or you get kicked the fuck out!! And yes, I am rambling at this point, but if I found bloody testo gel in my hypothetical daughter's room..? I'd much rather shoot myself in the leg than ever leave it there for her to KEEP harming herself with! Same as if I'd found a gun, or a knife! I absolutely COULD NOT have lived with myself if I did not destroy it, and I don't understand how ANY parent can!!
..My apologies if I misunderstood this post, and she either does not live with you, or you did in fact destroy it.
THANK YOU! I agree with you. My daughter lived with us while socially transitioning for the past four years. We did NOT allow her to hurt herself while living in our home. We hoped and prayed that she would come out of the fog. She didn't. She was just biding her time.
The moment she was no longer under our roof, and headed 'back' to college, she broke her promise to us to wait until she was at least 25 before she started any medical interventions (testosterone and/or surgeries). She is 23 and living on her own, working and attending college. She no longer speaks to us but assumed that we would continue to pay her bills.
We do not. We WILL NOT enable her in anyway to hurt herself. It is just like you said. Would you allow your child to shoot up heroine in your home? Would you buy them everything they needed so they could use their own money to buy drugs?
I recently watched the movie "Beautiful Boy", based on a true story, with Timothee Chalamet and Steve Carrell. If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it.
At some point, we can't continue to LET them harm themselves, because yes, it becomes enabling. Sometimes we just have to let them go and hope and pray that they come back someday. It's called tough love. People used to use it all the time up until very recently.
She knows that we love her, and that the door is always open.
It isn't easy. I cry EVERY DAY. I miss my daughter, but she is determined to destroy herself and I WILL NOT help her in any way to do that.
I agree. To pretend not to know, to not say you found the testosterone gel, that opens the door to Satan.
Pretending not to know is harmful. It leaves a daughter completely alone, without guidance, safety checks, or honest support. Silence doesn’t protect her — it exposes her to real medical risks and teaches her to keep secrecy against her own parent. Avoiding the truth might feel easier, but it destroys trust and lets danger grow unchecked. A parent’s job is to step in, not look away.
Respectfully this is a personal and difficult choice unique to each family situation. You have stated that you are NOT a parent of a trans identified child. We here are in the midst of a storm that can’t be easily understood and each of us deserves respect for our journey. I would ask that you find other places to write your opinions out of care and respect as fellow human beings.
Thank you. Noone who isn't a parent in this has the faintest idea what it means. "Advice" and opinions like this are causing so much pain. If I had been the author and had to read this response, I'd take a breakdown and be plunged into despair.
I remember hearing Dr. John Delony on his question and answer show on YouTube take a call from parents who threw their child out (I think that case was over using birth control). And at least part of his response in that situation was, when the child is ousted, he and she is more scared, they'll be more likely to rely on those who seem to offer "love" and who support the very thing that they are doing that is wrong. The "I'll cut you off" approach can also not just enable, but increase the problem. But I appreciate the concern and the passion you have for the terrible harm testosterone and other such things is doing to so many young people.
I wouldn’t kick out but yes to the rest
Oh,... the wrenching pain of a broken heart... my eyes drip tears for you.
Oh beware everybody, girls who have no access to testosterone are using Minoxidil to give themselves a mustache. Hairwise I think minoxidil is reversible however there are side effects, the most prominent being tachycardia.
trans should be under the schizophrenia diagnosis.. as "multiple personality" is now understood.
I think a better comparison would be disorders like anorexia or narcisitic pd...because they share the 'egosyntonic' state where the sufferer is unable to perceive that they have a disorder. I think people suffering psychosis are often aware something is going wrong inside their psyche/losing touch with reality.
I actually think that most ROGD kids don't have schizophrenia and are not even mentally ill (at least not until wrong sex hormones wreck their physical and mental health). For most it's ideology and twisting of terms.
for children and teens, I expect it is either trauma or peer pressure. grooming by adults too.
trans is not different than people who think they should be amputees.
I agree...it's a extreme belief or a 'frame' through which they are understanding their experiences. Once the belief is dropped, recovery is possible. It is not a lifelong mental health disorder. That's not to say that a person may have other mental health issues like cluster b traits/disorders.
Perhaps BPD too.
yeah. kids figuring out who they are need to be kept away from male predators eager to tell them what they are: a sex toy to be groomed
Feeling your pain as I am going through the same thing. I hope this stops for all of us. The lie of the "authentic" self is such a horrible joke. Authentically my daughter is female and will always be female.
"The lie of the "authentic" self is such a horrible joke." Agree completely. The obsession with the self...and with it the rejection of traditional and natural bonds...seems to be at the center of the unhappiness and dystopia on display in the West.
My heart, too, is dying a slow death each day. 💔
Thank you. It is terrible.
Please don't give up. Let her know she is destroying her beautiful body. I tried to tell my daughter the ills of testosterone (the incontinence, the sexual dysfunction, the painful vocal chords, etc....) and the one thing that finally got her attention was that her hair would start falling out. BINGO. That was the straw that broke the camel's back. That was the one thing she could identify with in the here and now. She stopped using T!!
So glad you persisted until you broke the spell!
Please continue to be vigilant - these kids lie