“Toys and stuffed animals for her birthday…still needs her mama…love builds a bridge over which truth can travel” such good phrases, thanks for sharing! My daughter is 20. Same thing but no dad ally. Child victim. I am so sorry.
Author, you have my utmost compassion and sympathy and I don't want to criticize you. The whole thing is incredibly hard. This is just my opinion, take it with a grain of salt: I would advise you against using male pronouns for your daughter and also seeing her as a "little Hitler". I know you never say that to her , I am sure you are a loving and compassionate mom. However, just your thinking of her as an oppressor / dictator that you have no power to resist is likely harmful to your relationship. Surely she knows you only use male pronouns to appease her and don't see her as a boy. Surely, she realizes you resent it - "the little Hitler" feelings can only be hidden so much. You may as well be truthful, call her the right sex pronouns and hence assert your authority, seeing her not as a little dictator but as a confused and scared teen who needs her mom for guidance. Hugs. I hope I don't sound too harsh - we all are doing the best we can. Best of luck!
Also agree! You can use a nickname from her childhood or shorten her given name to El. I've been dealing with this for 8 years and although my child is much older, he knows where I stand. I never had the fear that CPS would come take my child, so there's that. Idk if you are concerned about that. I've told my son in no uncertain terms that he will always be my son, and he said he knew that... I hate this for you that she is so young. Please be candid about the repercussions cross sex hormones can cause. Factual but lovingly.
I know. Sadly, you are so right. But I still Hope. And I had to finally accept that I have little if any control over how this ends. I used to drive myself crazy, desperately trying any and every tactic to try to Control it. To FIX it. But it was killing me; that pressure to “get it right” despite the odds and despite not seeing anything work. I was losing myself. And my mind. When you’ve done all you can, bashing your head against the wall, Avceptanxe is the only thing that brings peace. But we havent been defeated yet so I have to keep Hoping for now
So hard to know what to do as a parent especially with 18+. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. But maybe my holding fast to truth will be a guiding lesson for them in the future.
Is she interested in getting out in nature on hikes or kayaking? Having a garden? Get away from electronics? Would she do a book study with you, for instance, books about group think and dystopian societies to start? You are a great example of a strong, 💪 independent thinking woman standing against the propaganda!
Thank you. I wrote that in my journal 2 years ago so she’s a few months away from turning 18 now and just graduated Magna Cum Laude from high school (despite her prior traumas) which I’ve told her makes her truly Remarkable and Resilient. She also dual enrolled in a tech school and found her passion in the medical field. She just completed her EMT certification and was the highest grade student in the class. She made new friends there (not trans friends) and they look up to her (as him of course). But it gives me hope that maybe this will be a turning point for her where she will start to love herself again. I have three more months to protect her.
Why its always the brightest, who gives in this terrible unhealthy idea of being someone else? Many Teens are lonely and unhappy, but it seams that only gifted ones find the solution in genderworld. Do they think more than they feel? Do they have too much imagination, which cannot be served in the everyday life? Is it suberbity and the desire to have power and attention.
If they are so smart, why havent they learned to see the situation through the eyes of the family? At least at 18, but actually much earlier, they could have realized that they harm their familyes badly. Why havent they learned loyalty?
Hope she continues on the path of letting this go! Wish you and your daughter all the best! I live in your state too. Some areas are worse than others.
He’s got a point. Many of our children have cruelly abandoned us. NOW we need to play hard to get. These teens want what they can’t have, so WE need to become the forbidden fruit. You go NC? Our money goes NC too. And so on. Well, just a thought
Denying money and affirmation are one thing. Denying love and connection are another. The daughter being discussed in this piece is 16. Feeding her to the wolves is a very real possibility with the door shut. I agree this line is difficult to tread and at times impossible. But I believe it key. Even if they shut the door on you they will know yours is open when the time comes.
My daughter cruelly abandoned the whole family, called police on me for “deadnaming” causing me to spend that whole afternoon crying. She ignored her father having a stroke despite at least three or four people telling her, didn’t tell me she had changed her number leaving me like an idiot to pay for her phone for about 9 months until I asked for itemised bills and discovered she wasn’t even using it. I had assumed she needed a phone so I kept paying. Her father paid for a holiday she didn’t go to as she had already abandoned us. She refused any of our 200 or so attempts to reach out.
These children are NOT innocent. We don’t know when we will see them again. What they have done is abandonment.
She terrorised us with her no contact. Her dad could have died in hospital.
I say we need to start playing hard to get. Most of us have already reached out numerous times.
I am sorry to hear all of that. I did not have dry eyes for years. I know how cruel they can become. It is as though they are competing for a family meanness award in the same way girls compete to be the skinniest when they have anorexia. Social media affirmation of their abusive acts gets praised and they muster more assaults. Testosterone only helps. It is a spectacular assault on families. I suspect they know they are not completely innocent. No reply can take the pain away but try to hold space for the mercy she will need upon desistance. The day will come for many.
Since you are still in charge of her healthcare, can you try to get her to see a psychologist from the “Therapy First” network? They do not automatically affirm. I was fortunate enough to have one of them talk my daughter off the ledge at age 18 by presenting her with TWO PAGES of known side effects of testosterone. I’m still in limbo, but we have at least wrangled the commitment from my child to wait until 25, when her brain is done growing.
The other thing you could try, which may be difficult because you don’t see your daughter face to face anymore, is to try to make her understand that you are coming from a place of love and concern. That you are simply worried about the bodily harm that high dose testosterone wreaks on a female body.
We often assume the kids understand words like osteoporosis and vaginal atrophy. They do not! But if you tell your kid, that it might hurt to simply walk around wearing jeans, or that she could end up peeing herself constantly, that might sink in.
I am a bit wary of all therapists for kids. Even "Therapy First" therapists are not necessarily great and some may do more harm than good. I think it's much more useful to get a coach /therapist for the parent who can advise on how to navigate these issues.
Or maybe none at all. I only use prayer. I’m not spending my money on therapists pushing gender ideology and pushing no contact. The evidence against therapists is mounting
If we could do it over at 16, we would have taken away her phone and computer and pulled her out of public school. I don’t care how upset she would have gotten. At the time (2020-2023) there was a fear that she would somehow be socially stunted because phones/computers were her only connection to her peers during the pandemic but now we see how foolish we were.
When I was starting to rebel at 14 years old, my parents had the means to put me in an all-girls Catholic school. This was the 90’s. I’m sure they were afraid I’d run away, or rebel harder, but I actually didn’t. Sure, I threw a great big fit but then I settled into a safe environment and was actually able to cast aside all the “boy noise” and focus on academics, athletics and just being a teenage girl.
But even therapists warned us not to take away our daughter’s phone, and they affirmed her behind our backs and like idiots we trusted them. Now at 21 she’s been on testosterone for a year and almost unrecognizable.
Dont blame yourself. Nonaffirming psyciatrists told me, that in case of mental illness uprooting isnt healing. They offen just begin the same pass in a new environment. The only way is to adress the real problem.
I agree. Addressing her underlying issues of anxiety, self loathing and body dysmorphia would have been a lot easier without the chorus of opposing enablers in her friend group, their parents (her glitter family) her teachers, school-referred therapists and local legislators. We moved to a different state with her younger siblings and homeschooled them both, tight controls on screens, no private devices, ongoing conversations about how unhealthy behaviors are celebrated and promoted in our culture, a clearer faith practice, and a nonaffirming family therapist.
I don’t blame myself entirely, but there was a lot I did and a lot I failed to do that contributed to this. Can’t fall into depression over it, but I have to own up.
"We moved to a different state with her younger siblings and homeschooled them both, tight controls on screens, no private devices, ongoing conversations about how unhealthy behaviors are celebrated and promoted in our culture, a clearer faith practice, and a nonaffirming family therapist."
Well done! I always (halfway) joke that the only sure cure is to move to Wyoming and have them work on a horse farm. Or maybe become Amish or Eastern Orthodox. But what you did sounds great. As a father whose son dodged the trans insanity (but not depression), I have so much empathy for the parents. I think it was next to impossible to comprehend how swiftly this great Evil would overtake the West.
To the author: I can relate to so much of this. I have a 17-year-old boy who thinks he's a girl and an affirming wife who went behind my back to sign him up for a gender clinic. I too have been able to block hormones for now but my son's 18th birthday looms large in the fall. I too have kept a bond alive with my son against all odds and, like you, it's what keeps me going. I've started to write about my experience here: https://messagesinbottles.substack.com/ . Please reach out via substack DM if you want to share stories and commiserate.
Hello I am the author and this was an excerpt from my journal 2 years ago. So like you, my daughter will turn 18 in a few months. I still have Hope that she’ll “pull up” at the last minute; that maybe all the nuggets of Truth I’ve managed to drop, have somehow settled somewhere in her brain even though she has ignored or rejected them to my face. I still have Hope..
After the last finish study, which shows remarkable jump of psychiatric needs after transition, i cant understand how someone , who calls himself a doctor, can transition the youngs. They cant even say anymore that they coundnt know better. It is published and evaluated, that affirmation makes the things worse.
Doesn’t it just boggle the mind? I’d like to understand how someone who has access to knowledge via the internet can make such stupid, harmful decisions regarding young vulnerable kids.
I have more compassion for the kids. They were vulnerable for a myriad of reasons and came upon the cult. The algorithm feeds the same content brainwashing them or radicalizing them - this is the solution to your problem. They are not fully able to critically think especially because of the vulnerability, whereas those in the healthcare field should know better.
I have lost my compassion for the kids after our daughter claimed that we have ruined her life and went no contact. Someone with her grips could have thought the story better.
I relate and can understand after five yrs of being cut off w/ the one fully in the cult and 3+ w/ older ally son. I try to stay in the middle with the younger one; try to understand and see what he *may* be thinking as of course I can only guess. In moments of anger, frustration and sadness, I don’t have compassion for my older son. Both are smart, both are older Gen Z and shaping tech in their jobs. While they had many years of not being in the trans milieu, they were when they were nearing college years where they naturally are trying to find themselves. I hope all reading this who are estranged, society starts to say no to trans and our kids come back.
Smart people are still vulnerable to cults. We like to think they are protected, but they are not. We don’t hear a lot about the people who are indoctrinated, but many cult experts are smart and were in a cult who talk about it. I’ve only learned about this since my son was indoctrinated.
Thank you so much for that. I try to put my situation in perspective because some are far worse. Situations are relative but the Pain is all the same depth when its your child
Young people today are being presented with incredibly impactful life decisions before they are even mature mentally and physically that were never even a decision in the past.
This is being pushed. It's all indoctrination and the powers of suggestion to a young mind that trusts sources that are in positions of authority.
If we were living in the 1930s in Nazi Germany she would be all in for Hitler and the Nazi Party. Or in 1949 in China she would be all in for Mao and communism.
You are fighting the school systems and the state.
It is incredible wreckage to view how far the education system has fallen and pulled down so many people and society with it. Politicians and the state have followed the education system for the votes and because most of them were also indoctrinated.
In most ways they are allowed vastly less independence and decision making ability than previous generations. But along comes gender identity and the kid who can't walk to the store alone is capable of deciding to get life altering surgery and hormones.
I would give anything if my son were 16 again. I don't care what it took. Pulling him out of school, taking away internet, phones, etc. I would find a way to let him know how precious and perfect he already was. You have two more years that she is still under your control. Even if I had to move away. I don't care where to, I would do it. I would do anything and everything it took to help them see that there is no such thing as "trans," even if I had to physically restrain him. Thats no different to me than keeping him from running into the street as a toddler. If their minds aren't mature enough to listen to reason, then they'll be treated as such. Treat this like her life depends on it, because it does.
Hello I am the author. I submitted this article which is from my journal two years ago. She is now three months away from her 18th birthday. Which means, in the state of Michigan, I can no longer protect her. I have seen her “militancy” decline some over the past year or so which gives me some Hope. I still have faith that somehow she will pull up and out of this before then. But I’ve also had to accept that I’ve done everything I can. My ex husband and I have joint custody and he has hated me for the divorce which he didn’t want and he tries to drive a wedge between me and my kids so I have to be careful and walk a fine line to avoid pushing her any further away from me. It’s a difficult line to walk. As I’m sure everyone in this “sad club” is aware.
I'm really sorry to hear that. My thinking is if you've walked a "fine line" with her all this time with no real change, you've already lost her. Affirming her is not helping her. A mother's love and guidance isn't "pushing her away." If she's only being nice to you when she gets her way, she's playing you. I'm truly sorry.
Don't be so sure. "Trans rights" are big in many South American countries and many people travel to South America for cheaper "gender reassignment" surgeries.
He has hated me for divorcing him so he doesn’t speak to me and he tries purposefully to drive a wedge between me and our kids. But it’s also his Far-Left political beliefs and how it makes him look to all his like minded friends like the “supportive hero dad” and me the “transphobic unsupportive mom”. And nothing could be further from the Truth. But she won’t realize any of that until she is much older.
Ah. I suspected so. He too needs to be careful as opposed to smug. Affirming parents lose the children too because the children’s goalposts keep moving. At least your daughter won’t be writing down lists of how awful you are (one of the Bayswater parents discovered a list of awful things she allegedly was) but instead she’ll now do that to him. One single mistake will now cost him dearly. The advantage of my daughter not talking to any of us is that we don’t have to walk on eggshells anymore. We have freedom of thought, freedom of religion and freedom of speech. That is a genuine advantage.
Praying they all come back to themselves. Thank you for sharing.
“Toys and stuffed animals for her birthday…still needs her mama…love builds a bridge over which truth can travel” such good phrases, thanks for sharing! My daughter is 20. Same thing but no dad ally. Child victim. I am so sorry.
Author, you have my utmost compassion and sympathy and I don't want to criticize you. The whole thing is incredibly hard. This is just my opinion, take it with a grain of salt: I would advise you against using male pronouns for your daughter and also seeing her as a "little Hitler". I know you never say that to her , I am sure you are a loving and compassionate mom. However, just your thinking of her as an oppressor / dictator that you have no power to resist is likely harmful to your relationship. Surely she knows you only use male pronouns to appease her and don't see her as a boy. Surely, she realizes you resent it - "the little Hitler" feelings can only be hidden so much. You may as well be truthful, call her the right sex pronouns and hence assert your authority, seeing her not as a little dictator but as a confused and scared teen who needs her mom for guidance. Hugs. I hope I don't sound too harsh - we all are doing the best we can. Best of luck!
Also agree! You can use a nickname from her childhood or shorten her given name to El. I've been dealing with this for 8 years and although my child is much older, he knows where I stand. I never had the fear that CPS would come take my child, so there's that. Idk if you are concerned about that. I've told my son in no uncertain terms that he will always be my son, and he said he knew that... I hate this for you that she is so young. Please be candid about the repercussions cross sex hormones can cause. Factual but lovingly.
I could not agree more. As for using male pronouns, Eliana already has her clueless and enabling father for that.
I know. Sadly, you are so right. But I still Hope. And I had to finally accept that I have little if any control over how this ends. I used to drive myself crazy, desperately trying any and every tactic to try to Control it. To FIX it. But it was killing me; that pressure to “get it right” despite the odds and despite not seeing anything work. I was losing myself. And my mind. When you’ve done all you can, bashing your head against the wall, Avceptanxe is the only thing that brings peace. But we havent been defeated yet so I have to keep Hoping for now
DClinPsych here.
Please, please, please, please do NOT give in!
'Gender dysphoria' is the biggest medical fraud in history.
You are doing the right thing.
My motto to parents is: "hold firm, don't affirm".
Weather her hatred and your husband's machinations and manipulations.
You are your mum.
You love her.
You are right.
So hard to know what to do as a parent especially with 18+. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. But maybe my holding fast to truth will be a guiding lesson for them in the future.
Is she interested in getting out in nature on hikes or kayaking? Having a garden? Get away from electronics? Would she do a book study with you, for instance, books about group think and dystopian societies to start? You are a great example of a strong, 💪 independent thinking woman standing against the propaganda!
Thank you. I wrote that in my journal 2 years ago so she’s a few months away from turning 18 now and just graduated Magna Cum Laude from high school (despite her prior traumas) which I’ve told her makes her truly Remarkable and Resilient. She also dual enrolled in a tech school and found her passion in the medical field. She just completed her EMT certification and was the highest grade student in the class. She made new friends there (not trans friends) and they look up to her (as him of course). But it gives me hope that maybe this will be a turning point for her where she will start to love herself again. I have three more months to protect her.
Why its always the brightest, who gives in this terrible unhealthy idea of being someone else? Many Teens are lonely and unhappy, but it seams that only gifted ones find the solution in genderworld. Do they think more than they feel? Do they have too much imagination, which cannot be served in the everyday life? Is it suberbity and the desire to have power and attention.
If they are so smart, why havent they learned to see the situation through the eyes of the family? At least at 18, but actually much earlier, they could have realized that they harm their familyes badly. Why havent they learned loyalty?
Hope she continues on the path of letting this go! Wish you and your daughter all the best! I live in your state too. Some areas are worse than others.
I would give her a choice. Your mother or your gender cult. Then block her on your phone, and do all Tuscan to forget her. She’s gone.
Not the right answer.
He’s got a point. Many of our children have cruelly abandoned us. NOW we need to play hard to get. These teens want what they can’t have, so WE need to become the forbidden fruit. You go NC? Our money goes NC too. And so on. Well, just a thought
Denying money and affirmation are one thing. Denying love and connection are another. The daughter being discussed in this piece is 16. Feeding her to the wolves is a very real possibility with the door shut. I agree this line is difficult to tread and at times impossible. But I believe it key. Even if they shut the door on you they will know yours is open when the time comes.
My daughter cruelly abandoned the whole family, called police on me for “deadnaming” causing me to spend that whole afternoon crying. She ignored her father having a stroke despite at least three or four people telling her, didn’t tell me she had changed her number leaving me like an idiot to pay for her phone for about 9 months until I asked for itemised bills and discovered she wasn’t even using it. I had assumed she needed a phone so I kept paying. Her father paid for a holiday she didn’t go to as she had already abandoned us. She refused any of our 200 or so attempts to reach out.
These children are NOT innocent. We don’t know when we will see them again. What they have done is abandonment.
She terrorised us with her no contact. Her dad could have died in hospital.
I say we need to start playing hard to get. Most of us have already reached out numerous times.
I am sorry to hear all of that. I did not have dry eyes for years. I know how cruel they can become. It is as though they are competing for a family meanness award in the same way girls compete to be the skinniest when they have anorexia. Social media affirmation of their abusive acts gets praised and they muster more assaults. Testosterone only helps. It is a spectacular assault on families. I suspect they know they are not completely innocent. No reply can take the pain away but try to hold space for the mercy she will need upon desistance. The day will come for many.
💔
Since you are still in charge of her healthcare, can you try to get her to see a psychologist from the “Therapy First” network? They do not automatically affirm. I was fortunate enough to have one of them talk my daughter off the ledge at age 18 by presenting her with TWO PAGES of known side effects of testosterone. I’m still in limbo, but we have at least wrangled the commitment from my child to wait until 25, when her brain is done growing.
The other thing you could try, which may be difficult because you don’t see your daughter face to face anymore, is to try to make her understand that you are coming from a place of love and concern. That you are simply worried about the bodily harm that high dose testosterone wreaks on a female body.
We often assume the kids understand words like osteoporosis and vaginal atrophy. They do not! But if you tell your kid, that it might hurt to simply walk around wearing jeans, or that she could end up peeing herself constantly, that might sink in.
I am a bit wary of all therapists for kids. Even "Therapy First" therapists are not necessarily great and some may do more harm than good. I think it's much more useful to get a coach /therapist for the parent who can advise on how to navigate these issues.
Once an emotional wall is up between you and your kid, it sometimes takes the information coming from a third party for the kid to hear the words.
Or maybe none at all. I only use prayer. I’m not spending my money on therapists pushing gender ideology and pushing no contact. The evidence against therapists is mounting
If we could do it over at 16, we would have taken away her phone and computer and pulled her out of public school. I don’t care how upset she would have gotten. At the time (2020-2023) there was a fear that she would somehow be socially stunted because phones/computers were her only connection to her peers during the pandemic but now we see how foolish we were.
When I was starting to rebel at 14 years old, my parents had the means to put me in an all-girls Catholic school. This was the 90’s. I’m sure they were afraid I’d run away, or rebel harder, but I actually didn’t. Sure, I threw a great big fit but then I settled into a safe environment and was actually able to cast aside all the “boy noise” and focus on academics, athletics and just being a teenage girl.
But even therapists warned us not to take away our daughter’s phone, and they affirmed her behind our backs and like idiots we trusted them. Now at 21 she’s been on testosterone for a year and almost unrecognizable.
Dont blame yourself. Nonaffirming psyciatrists told me, that in case of mental illness uprooting isnt healing. They offen just begin the same pass in a new environment. The only way is to adress the real problem.
I agree. Addressing her underlying issues of anxiety, self loathing and body dysmorphia would have been a lot easier without the chorus of opposing enablers in her friend group, their parents (her glitter family) her teachers, school-referred therapists and local legislators. We moved to a different state with her younger siblings and homeschooled them both, tight controls on screens, no private devices, ongoing conversations about how unhealthy behaviors are celebrated and promoted in our culture, a clearer faith practice, and a nonaffirming family therapist.
I don’t blame myself entirely, but there was a lot I did and a lot I failed to do that contributed to this. Can’t fall into depression over it, but I have to own up.
"We moved to a different state with her younger siblings and homeschooled them both, tight controls on screens, no private devices, ongoing conversations about how unhealthy behaviors are celebrated and promoted in our culture, a clearer faith practice, and a nonaffirming family therapist."
Well done! I always (halfway) joke that the only sure cure is to move to Wyoming and have them work on a horse farm. Or maybe become Amish or Eastern Orthodox. But what you did sounds great. As a father whose son dodged the trans insanity (but not depression), I have so much empathy for the parents. I think it was next to impossible to comprehend how swiftly this great Evil would overtake the West.
To the author: I can relate to so much of this. I have a 17-year-old boy who thinks he's a girl and an affirming wife who went behind my back to sign him up for a gender clinic. I too have been able to block hormones for now but my son's 18th birthday looms large in the fall. I too have kept a bond alive with my son against all odds and, like you, it's what keeps me going. I've started to write about my experience here: https://messagesinbottles.substack.com/ . Please reach out via substack DM if you want to share stories and commiserate.
Hello I am the author and this was an excerpt from my journal 2 years ago. So like you, my daughter will turn 18 in a few months. I still have Hope that she’ll “pull up” at the last minute; that maybe all the nuggets of Truth I’ve managed to drop, have somehow settled somewhere in her brain even though she has ignored or rejected them to my face. I still have Hope..
Dear Kristin it may take longer than that.
After the last finish study, which shows remarkable jump of psychiatric needs after transition, i cant understand how someone , who calls himself a doctor, can transition the youngs. They cant even say anymore that they coundnt know better. It is published and evaluated, that affirmation makes the things worse.
Five letters. First is M, last is Y.
Many here are from married families, it doesn’t guarantee inoculation. For that matter, many drs & therapists have kids who are in the cult.
It's not "marry" it's "money." Money is why this crap continues even after we've all learned that it's harmful.
Oh. That could have been said in a straightforward manner. We all know $$ is being made and those with $$ are organizing the agenda.
Well Helen Joyce made that point didn’t she? These people have transed their own children and now they will die on the hill of trans rights
Doesn’t it just boggle the mind? I’d like to understand how someone who has access to knowledge via the internet can make such stupid, harmful decisions regarding young vulnerable kids.
Its mind boggling enough, that the kids, whom we call digital natives cant find reliable informations themselves.
I have more compassion for the kids. They were vulnerable for a myriad of reasons and came upon the cult. The algorithm feeds the same content brainwashing them or radicalizing them - this is the solution to your problem. They are not fully able to critically think especially because of the vulnerability, whereas those in the healthcare field should know better.
I have lost my compassion for the kids after our daughter claimed that we have ruined her life and went no contact. Someone with her grips could have thought the story better.
I relate and can understand after five yrs of being cut off w/ the one fully in the cult and 3+ w/ older ally son. I try to stay in the middle with the younger one; try to understand and see what he *may* be thinking as of course I can only guess. In moments of anger, frustration and sadness, I don’t have compassion for my older son. Both are smart, both are older Gen Z and shaping tech in their jobs. While they had many years of not being in the trans milieu, they were when they were nearing college years where they naturally are trying to find themselves. I hope all reading this who are estranged, society starts to say no to trans and our kids come back.
I meant to say I have more compassion for the one in the cult. Something brought him to look at it and got caught up in it.
I wonder whether my daughter is intelligent or not. She was, then the cult happened. 💔
Smart people are still vulnerable to cults. We like to think they are protected, but they are not. We don’t hear a lot about the people who are indoctrinated, but many cult experts are smart and were in a cult who talk about it. I’ve only learned about this since my son was indoctrinated.
My heart goes out to you. (And to so many parents here at PITT.) I can't even imagine how painful this must be.
Thank you so much for that. I try to put my situation in perspective because some are far worse. Situations are relative but the Pain is all the same depth when its your child
I am sorry for all your troubles.
Young people today are being presented with incredibly impactful life decisions before they are even mature mentally and physically that were never even a decision in the past.
This is being pushed. It's all indoctrination and the powers of suggestion to a young mind that trusts sources that are in positions of authority.
If we were living in the 1930s in Nazi Germany she would be all in for Hitler and the Nazi Party. Or in 1949 in China she would be all in for Mao and communism.
You are fighting the school systems and the state.
It is incredible wreckage to view how far the education system has fallen and pulled down so many people and society with it. Politicians and the state have followed the education system for the votes and because most of them were also indoctrinated.
In most ways they are allowed vastly less independence and decision making ability than previous generations. But along comes gender identity and the kid who can't walk to the store alone is capable of deciding to get life altering surgery and hormones.
It is absurd.
I would give anything if my son were 16 again. I don't care what it took. Pulling him out of school, taking away internet, phones, etc. I would find a way to let him know how precious and perfect he already was. You have two more years that she is still under your control. Even if I had to move away. I don't care where to, I would do it. I would do anything and everything it took to help them see that there is no such thing as "trans," even if I had to physically restrain him. Thats no different to me than keeping him from running into the street as a toddler. If their minds aren't mature enough to listen to reason, then they'll be treated as such. Treat this like her life depends on it, because it does.
Hello I am the author. I submitted this article which is from my journal two years ago. She is now three months away from her 18th birthday. Which means, in the state of Michigan, I can no longer protect her. I have seen her “militancy” decline some over the past year or so which gives me some Hope. I still have faith that somehow she will pull up and out of this before then. But I’ve also had to accept that I’ve done everything I can. My ex husband and I have joint custody and he has hated me for the divorce which he didn’t want and he tries to drive a wedge between me and my kids so I have to be careful and walk a fine line to avoid pushing her any further away from me. It’s a difficult line to walk. As I’m sure everyone in this “sad club” is aware.
I'm really sorry to hear that. My thinking is if you've walked a "fine line" with her all this time with no real change, you've already lost her. Affirming her is not helping her. A mother's love and guidance isn't "pushing her away." If she's only being nice to you when she gets her way, she's playing you. I'm truly sorry.
Slums anywhere in South Amerca could have hepled. To feel and solve real problems instead of gloryfying selfabuse.
Don't be so sure. "Trans rights" are big in many South American countries and many people travel to South America for cheaper "gender reassignment" surgeries.
Brazil is the guiltiest country
The brain typically matures by 25-26, but mental illness often doesn’t show up until 28-30.
Is your ex ideologically committed to trans activism or is he simply desperate not to lose her?
He has hated me for divorcing him so he doesn’t speak to me and he tries purposefully to drive a wedge between me and our kids. But it’s also his Far-Left political beliefs and how it makes him look to all his like minded friends like the “supportive hero dad” and me the “transphobic unsupportive mom”. And nothing could be further from the Truth. But she won’t realize any of that until she is much older.
Ah. I suspected so. He too needs to be careful as opposed to smug. Affirming parents lose the children too because the children’s goalposts keep moving. At least your daughter won’t be writing down lists of how awful you are (one of the Bayswater parents discovered a list of awful things she allegedly was) but instead she’ll now do that to him. One single mistake will now cost him dearly. The advantage of my daughter not talking to any of us is that we don’t have to walk on eggshells anymore. We have freedom of thought, freedom of religion and freedom of speech. That is a genuine advantage.
or trying to hurt his ex-wife
"And my ex-husband, her father, consents. He even tried to go behind my back ..."
Seeing this theme so often in PITT stories makes me VERY grateful that my wife and I are on the same page.