My adult son detransitioned about 6 months ago, but still identifies as queer, and is still very much part of the queer community (although he is not gay).
Glad your son is mostly back! Did you introduce his mentor to him? I feel like my son would listen to someone who had been on the path and came back (more than me). I keep hoping more detransitioners speak out (especially the men) and the talk openly about AGP.
Absolutely brilliant. I will read and re-read this to keep me going. How good we can trust in our prefect Heavenly Father , who knows everything, loves perfectly, and holds our kids in his hands. I’m learning, through the loss of my son to transgenderism 4 years ago , to how it looks to trust in him. In fact, I’m pretty sure part of the reason this is happening is that God is refining me. I’ll never give up praying for my Ryan, now living as Anna.
Such fabulous words of wisdom. Thank you for sharing. Six amazing points to ponder and apply to our lives right now. Pray, forgive, recognize the manipulation, do not give up and wait anxiously for their return. Yes, this story is about hope. Wonderful!
Thank you for the reminder of this parable. I have come back to read it many times. It appears similar to our high school senior son, recently assessed with autism, which explains so much now, but he sees hormones are the solution to his hatred of what he sees in the mirror, without thinking beyond that or being able to explain it. "It's all up here," he says, pointing to his head.
I do wish you had been able to say more about how you arrived at this point with your son and clarified how long it took, what finally happened for him to detransition. Thank you again.
If this writer is here, can you answer how long from start to finish it took to detransition? My family member was captured, and I hope it turns around in the next few years.
My son identified as trans for 2 years, and although it doesn't sound long now, when you're in the middle of it, or the beginning, you don't know how long it will last.
When we first got the letter announcing his new identity, my husband wisely said, this is going to be a long game. I felt he was right. My heart breaks for those in it so much longer.
When he says he is thinking about surgery for sometime in the future, and you know moms whose son's have gone through surgery, the fear, worry and angst are real. Your son, or daughter, is the first thing you think about even before you open your eyes in the morning, and the last thing you think about as you cry yourself to sleep another night.
I'll write more about my son's detransition, but there will soon be a parents of detransitioners website as this population grows. We will tell our stories.
I'm glad you are there to listen and support the parents. We really don't have anyone to talk to or listen. You are a blessing.
Thank you so much for this perspective! When this whole trans bomb hit our lives, this very story of The prodigal son was the lens we immediately could relate to. It also helped us to frame the situation to our other children. Yes. We are still sitting on the porch waiting......waiting......praying.......grieving......hoping!🙏🙏🙏. I have big plans to write, but picking up the pieces and tending the many wounded in our care has taken every speck of everything out of me! This trans train is NOT for the faint of heart. If it wasn't for my faith in Our Loving Merciful God and my very strong husband.....I would not be alive to tell this!! I pray constantly for the Deliverance of of poor innocent children AND for ALL families suffering the loss of their precious children to this insidious cult. May God bless us all and heal our children 🙏🙏🙏
I’m with you sister. “trans-bomb” - such an accurate description. Your journey sounds similar to mine. Thank goodness our God hears our worried, anxious, frantic prayers, and can be trusted to hold us and our kids, even when we can’t feel or see it. Much love from me to you
I'm praying and hoping for you too. It's so painful, worrisome, and crazy. All of these families... Sometimes having other people in our lives is what keeps us from throwing in the towel. Keep going friend.
Jenn, you're so sweet to encourage me, thank you. I feel like he has just swapped one ideology for another, and is still captured. Things are better, but I don't pretend to think it's all behind us now. Thank you for your positivity and reminder of God's power.
You know, the story of the prodigal son was always confusing for me and hard to understand. Until reading your piece I had never connected it to our family's situation. Now I totally get it! Thank you!
Agree! I've always felt like the obedient son got the bad end of the deal. On its face, it seems like the wrong message. In this context the outcome makes sense.
We are still on this long journey with our son, he is in a far off country from us both spiritually and physically and has estranged himself from us. My husband said to me early to remember that the prodigal wasn’t followed or chased by the father.
That’s right when the prodigal son reached the bottom of the pit he returned knowing that his father still loved him but was not sure he’d accept him back. What a glorious surprise for the son and the father!
Re: not chasing. That's an interesting insight. I suppose that includes not having a group meeting with the 'Pig Sty Manager.' https://biblehub.com/bsb/luke/15.htm
On the other hand, I'm also reminded of C.S. Lewis's book The Silver Chair, about Prince Rilian who became "enchanted" and then enslaved by his enchantment. He's a prisoner because he believes a lie about his identity. Aslan (symbolizing God) sends children to save the prince.
I think we need to fetch our wounded from the battlefield. That includes seeking them out to find them, reasoning with them -- but of course, if they refuse to be rescued, then at least our words and efforts will stay in their mind.
Yes, we need to remember even if we grounded our kids in the word when they were young ( our son knows). It is up to them to return on their own ( the father stood at the gate and watched). Unfortunately with the Trans cult they are instructed to cut all ties with faith and families and choose to not be rescued in many cases, and this is what we have experienced. So for now we stand at the gate and watch and pray.
I have begged and pleaded for about 12 years for him to stop and the more I pleaded the more steps he took into it. I just now pray that he wakes up before the gates of Hell.
Thank you. Such good advice. So hard to follow. Doing our best. Praying daily. Trying not to dwell on it in the middle of the night when we can’t sleep.
It’s amazing the levels of despair to which one can become adjusted. It’s disorienting sometimes how life continues no matter how your heart is breaking. Maybe it is having hope or the belief in God. Maybe it is just the need to be there for the ones you love. Maybe it is survival instinct. I have the hope for justice, accountability and I will admit, for vengeance for the people who have caused such harm to the most vulnerable and innocent. Honestly, seeing the downfall of those who deliberately perpetrated an atrocity is what keeps me going most days.
That may never happen and “ vengeance is mine sayeth the Lord” I just pray for conversion of my son for the haze to be lifted from his eyes and the truth revealed. I just hope I see it in my lifetime. I had kids late in life and my son is 34 and I’m 74!
I hope you do too. My second was born when I was in my forties, quite the lovely surprise. But there is the hard part of knowing how much of her life I will miss.
And wrath is the deadly sin that has always given me the most trouble to manage. Maybe we can just say that I wait with great anticipation for the Lord’s vengeance.
Glad your son is mostly back! Did you introduce his mentor to him? I feel like my son would listen to someone who had been on the path and came back (more than me). I keep hoping more detransitioners speak out (especially the men) and the talk openly about AGP.
Absolutely brilliant. I will read and re-read this to keep me going. How good we can trust in our prefect Heavenly Father , who knows everything, loves perfectly, and holds our kids in his hands. I’m learning, through the loss of my son to transgenderism 4 years ago , to how it looks to trust in him. In fact, I’m pretty sure part of the reason this is happening is that God is refining me. I’ll never give up praying for my Ryan, now living as Anna.
Such fabulous words of wisdom. Thank you for sharing. Six amazing points to ponder and apply to our lives right now. Pray, forgive, recognize the manipulation, do not give up and wait anxiously for their return. Yes, this story is about hope. Wonderful!
Thank you for the reminder of this parable. I have come back to read it many times. It appears similar to our high school senior son, recently assessed with autism, which explains so much now, but he sees hormones are the solution to his hatred of what he sees in the mirror, without thinking beyond that or being able to explain it. "It's all up here," he says, pointing to his head.
I do wish you had been able to say more about how you arrived at this point with your son and clarified how long it took, what finally happened for him to detransition. Thank you again.
"but we are still concerned about his mental health, his desire to belong to this community, and for his future. "
Why are you concerned about his desire to belong to that community? Are there people harming him in it?
If this writer is here, can you answer how long from start to finish it took to detransition? My family member was captured, and I hope it turns around in the next few years.
Dear Truthbetold,
My son identified as trans for 2 years, and although it doesn't sound long now, when you're in the middle of it, or the beginning, you don't know how long it will last.
When we first got the letter announcing his new identity, my husband wisely said, this is going to be a long game. I felt he was right. My heart breaks for those in it so much longer.
When he says he is thinking about surgery for sometime in the future, and you know moms whose son's have gone through surgery, the fear, worry and angst are real. Your son, or daughter, is the first thing you think about even before you open your eyes in the morning, and the last thing you think about as you cry yourself to sleep another night.
I'll write more about my son's detransition, but there will soon be a parents of detransitioners website as this population grows. We will tell our stories.
I'm glad you are there to listen and support the parents. We really don't have anyone to talk to or listen. You are a blessing.
Voyage of the Prodigal
It was not so dark the last I looked.
The stars there were could still be counted.
And the moon was a frail lost ship
Not the queen she is now
Of this indigo ocean.
Off there, so far away I can only believe,
Maidservants are lighting the porches
As brother with his staff
Drives home the herds
Where Father wept when I begged
To go free.
He would not know me now,
A swine-man’s boy
Stripped of robes and ring,
And his body man would look away
Then see me from ground
To the knee.
Still, I will go while this darkness wears
The memory of his eyes as a harbor
And run through the shadows
To that glittering port
Where the least of his servants
Are free.
I see him now as last I saw him
On the way I left
And am now returning
Running to meet me as the first-born light
Throws off every shadow
Between us.
Sunday of the Prodigal
This was written by my very talented friend, Mary. I’m sharing it with her permission. She was very moved by this post
Thank you so much for this perspective! When this whole trans bomb hit our lives, this very story of The prodigal son was the lens we immediately could relate to. It also helped us to frame the situation to our other children. Yes. We are still sitting on the porch waiting......waiting......praying.......grieving......hoping!🙏🙏🙏. I have big plans to write, but picking up the pieces and tending the many wounded in our care has taken every speck of everything out of me! This trans train is NOT for the faint of heart. If it wasn't for my faith in Our Loving Merciful God and my very strong husband.....I would not be alive to tell this!! I pray constantly for the Deliverance of of poor innocent children AND for ALL families suffering the loss of their precious children to this insidious cult. May God bless us all and heal our children 🙏🙏🙏
I’m with you sister. “trans-bomb” - such an accurate description. Your journey sounds similar to mine. Thank goodness our God hears our worried, anxious, frantic prayers, and can be trusted to hold us and our kids, even when we can’t feel or see it. Much love from me to you
I'm praying and hoping for you too. It's so painful, worrisome, and crazy. All of these families... Sometimes having other people in our lives is what keeps us from throwing in the towel. Keep going friend.
Good solid advice. This is such a hard arena to navigate but your son’s story is not over and with God, all things are possible!
Jenn, you're so sweet to encourage me, thank you. I feel like he has just swapped one ideology for another, and is still captured. Things are better, but I don't pretend to think it's all behind us now. Thank you for your positivity and reminder of God's power.
You know, the story of the prodigal son was always confusing for me and hard to understand. Until reading your piece I had never connected it to our family's situation. Now I totally get it! Thank you!
Agree! I've always felt like the obedient son got the bad end of the deal. On its face, it seems like the wrong message. In this context the outcome makes sense.
Word! Great words to the wise, gained through experience. Thank you.
We are still on this long journey with our son, he is in a far off country from us both spiritually and physically and has estranged himself from us. My husband said to me early to remember that the prodigal wasn’t followed or chased by the father.
That’s right when the prodigal son reached the bottom of the pit he returned knowing that his father still loved him but was not sure he’d accept him back. What a glorious surprise for the son and the father!
Re: not chasing. That's an interesting insight. I suppose that includes not having a group meeting with the 'Pig Sty Manager.' https://biblehub.com/bsb/luke/15.htm
On the other hand, I'm also reminded of C.S. Lewis's book The Silver Chair, about Prince Rilian who became "enchanted" and then enslaved by his enchantment. He's a prisoner because he believes a lie about his identity. Aslan (symbolizing God) sends children to save the prince.
I think we need to fetch our wounded from the battlefield. That includes seeking them out to find them, reasoning with them -- but of course, if they refuse to be rescued, then at least our words and efforts will stay in their mind.
Yes, we need to remember even if we grounded our kids in the word when they were young ( our son knows). It is up to them to return on their own ( the father stood at the gate and watched). Unfortunately with the Trans cult they are instructed to cut all ties with faith and families and choose to not be rescued in many cases, and this is what we have experienced. So for now we stand at the gate and watch and pray.
I have begged and pleaded for about 12 years for him to stop and the more I pleaded the more steps he took into it. I just now pray that he wakes up before the gates of Hell.
Amen
Thank you. Such good advice. So hard to follow. Doing our best. Praying daily. Trying not to dwell on it in the middle of the night when we can’t sleep.
It’s amazing the levels of despair to which one can become adjusted. It’s disorienting sometimes how life continues no matter how your heart is breaking. Maybe it is having hope or the belief in God. Maybe it is just the need to be there for the ones you love. Maybe it is survival instinct. I have the hope for justice, accountability and I will admit, for vengeance for the people who have caused such harm to the most vulnerable and innocent. Honestly, seeing the downfall of those who deliberately perpetrated an atrocity is what keeps me going most days.
That may never happen and “ vengeance is mine sayeth the Lord” I just pray for conversion of my son for the haze to be lifted from his eyes and the truth revealed. I just hope I see it in my lifetime. I had kids late in life and my son is 34 and I’m 74!
I hope you do too. My second was born when I was in my forties, quite the lovely surprise. But there is the hard part of knowing how much of her life I will miss.
And wrath is the deadly sin that has always given me the most trouble to manage. Maybe we can just say that I wait with great anticipation for the Lord’s vengeance.
Thanks for your reply. Unbelievable. So sorry. Prayer and perseverance is the way to go.
Thank you. I love this, and the encouragement not to give up hope is just what I needed today.