The realness of you
The realness of you Stevie as I look at the ‘Stevie Over the Years’ photo collage that popped up on my phone. Tears roll as I feel you—the true, God-fearing man you are!
What can I do—how can I speak the truth into your life? How can I recapture my son? Bring you back into this family? Back to your self…
That shy smile
Those laughing eyes
The mischievous glance
The thoughtful sadness
The forced smile
The silly grin
Those beautiful eyes reflecting a beautiful
and perhaps tortured soul
Don’t be so strong. Don’t go it alone. Let yourself give into grief. Admit you don’t have the answers but that you know what love is. Find that love—back here, back home.
Let’s go to Mass as a family, to confession, to fish fries—all of it. We have not outgrown our need to be together as a family with God. Let’s join hands and march into heaven together as the saints God made us to do.
I wrote this in my journal. My son is 27 years old and has been estranged from me for about a year and a half because I refused to call him my daughter and use his made up name.
My brother is 37 now. It's nearly two years since I first noticed something odd. A year and a half since I knew, but still tried to deny. He moved out late last year (yes he lived at home that long) and he's refused to speak to our parents since Christmas. I've talked to him. I can send messages without using a name. We never were close though and this feels similar to talking to other strangers in the internet.
I don't think he's going to church, though he was going to ours up until someone pushed back enough to make him uncomfortable. (They were willing to use his new name, but no one actually bought in.)
He still talks to our grandmother though she certainly doesn't agree with him. He doesn't want to cut himself off.
I moved overseas at the beginning of the year and no one here knows. I just tell them that I have four brothers, but only ever talk about three. Maybe someday I'll tell someone but it's awkward to bring up. By the way, my oldest brother thinks he's a woman. I've never really told anyone. They only know if they saw him and plenty of people did. Still I don't know how to talk about it.
Truly heartbreaking. This cult is so powerful, it captures and holds even the smartest people. Thank you for your writing here.