The realness of you Stevie as I look at the ‘Stevie Over the Years’ photo collage that popped up on my phone. Tears roll as I feel you—the true, God-fearing man you are! What can I do—how can I speak the truth into your life? How can I recapture my son? Bring you back into this family? Back to your self…
My brother is 37 now. It's nearly two years since I first noticed something odd. A year and a half since I knew, but still tried to deny. He moved out late last year (yes he lived at home that long) and he's refused to speak to our parents since Christmas. I've talked to him. I can send messages without using a name. We never were close though and this feels similar to talking to other strangers in the internet.
I don't think he's going to church, though he was going to ours up until someone pushed back enough to make him uncomfortable. (They were willing to use his new name, but no one actually bought in.)
He still talks to our grandmother though she certainly doesn't agree with him. He doesn't want to cut himself off.
I moved overseas at the beginning of the year and no one here knows. I just tell them that I have four brothers, but only ever talk about three. Maybe someday I'll tell someone but it's awkward to bring up. By the way, my oldest brother thinks he's a woman. I've never really told anyone. They only know if they saw him and plenty of people did. Still I don't know how to talk about it.
So powerful - I could feel your anguish and your love for your son. I hate this gender cult. You wrote "Find that love—back here, back home." I am praying for a miracle and that your son does find his way back home... where love abounds.
I am sorry to hear that. I strikes me how a part of me already started to try and justify him by finding flaws in his parents. Just like old people easily get judged for what they cannot do anymore by the young people, that never knew them in their vigour. This pseudocult is capturing the minds of our children, but some fight back. Not all children get hypnotised by their lies, but it is a dangerous game. I am trying to think of a way out. How to convince someone out of a newly found identity? The self is so eager to cling to an idea that seems to give power and a path ahead. Your faith is important to you, it helps you orient yourself in the world. His faith tells him, that he can become a woman. You are a woman. You are his mother. You know what he will be, neither man nor woman. A man who sees women might feel attracted to them. A part of him might want to become like them, but when I look at pictures of women and men and compare them to pictures of trans-women and trans-men, I so clearly see, that they are weird artificial constructions, that my desire to be such a thing, vanishes immediately.
Maybe that is an approach. Forget your religion for a moment and dive into his. See through his eyes and think through his mind. Find a moment of resonance and then introduce a situation where the two of you together explore what it means to be a trans-person subjectively and objectively. Go and meet trans-people or watch images or videos of them. Give him what he wants, so to say and let him come to the realization, that this is who he will become and in the process loose his fertility and sexuality.
Maybe he is afraid of women, of penetrating her lovingly with his male genitals. I don't know. Freud might have had some ideas about this, or who else is speaking out on behave of these children. I am sure inclusivity and unity is important and we should not exclude souls from the banquet of the Lord, but life is so complicated and who are we to understand it fully. Go with him and invite him to look through the world through your eyes. I hope this helps somewhat. Trust in his sense of truth.
Interesting idea. I did have a phone call with him where I asked him questions but he didn’t have many answers. I wish I would’ve seen the warning signs earlier on (there were times he had mentioned trans rights prior to his coming out). I have to admit I knew nothing about it and asked no questions. When he did tell me I was supportive in the instant but the next day sent him medical information. He didn’t even read it (his response was too quick) and called it junk science. I tried to tell him let’s agree to disagree but he wouldn’t accept that either. I do not believe he has the trust level now that I would be like let’s explore this and I wouldn’t judge it. I do want to note that on that first phone call when he told me, I supported in the instant and wanted to discuss a get together with him and he immediately started giving excuses for me to not come and see him. But your idea is good for thought. Thanks.
I am so sorry. What a beautiful, heartbreaking tribute both to Stevie and the unfailing love of his parent. My whole soul hurts for your family. It is unthinkable that our own society, a culture which was once so unified in matters of family is now so divided, and in SUPPORT OF, and DEFENSE OF parental alienation. I am astounded daily that even our president and his administration, law makers, mainstream media and huge corporations are all condoning the complete destruction of the American Family. I will keep you, Stevie, your family and all who suffer like this in my prayers.
Doing what is right, what is honest and ethical has a terrible price to pay. But I know parents who have followed their children into this cult, who have chosen to participate in facilitating harm to their own children in order to hang on to them. I honestly don’t understand how they live with themselves.
I, too, cannot swallow what has become of my son. It's a strong feeling of wrongness that sits in the pit of my soul. I try to be understanding as he's an adult and can live his life as he chooses but I do not have to agree with or affirm his delusions. We try to still communicate around holidays but even that is becoming less and less. I also have family and friends who think I'm the one being ridiculous! And that's fine. I'm content and at peace with my decision to cling with everything I have to truth and reality. I love and miss my son terribly. I look back at pictures and just cry. But for all intents and purposes that person no longer exists anyway. I'm mourning the past that will likely never return. I continue to pray and have hope that he will return but I'm not very optimistic. He very obviously is not a woman although he dresses and acts as though he is. I fear for his physical safety now more than anything else.
Yes, unfortunately, a physical issue is going to start at some point. The intrusion of men into women's spaces is becoming more and more intolerable, and fewer are willing to tolerate this. Unfortunately, this will only harden the delusion.
Yes unfortunately it’s not like when he decided to change majors in college and I didn’t get it but supported him. This is ethically wrong and physically dangerous. We can not support these choices and think we are being good parents. It is scary because of the hormones and surgeries but also because of the sex trafficking. It’s hard to hold onto faith that they will wake up. But at least we stand for truth. We are not sucked in and that’s saying a lot! It’s so hard but I think the lies and deceptions would be harder.
I don’t know. Two people that I thought I knew, people I respected, focused on “being supportive” and absolutely will not entertain any ideas/information that would challenge transgender ideology. They DO NOT want to know. They will not entertain questions. They are so afraid of losing their kids, of not being affirming and supportive that they will feed them into the sausage grinder of medical transition.
It's a cult. The meanings of everything, every definition, are changed in the cult. If you do NOT question the Emperor about his clothes, he will not cut off your head, and you will get the new promotion.
This is so, so shocking. 2 years in & I still cannot fathom what we are all going through. Thank you Helen for your words. The hard part is enjoying life when you know your child is making a big mistake & blames you for it.
Yes every once in a while I will have one of those days where I am so joyful and then I think of him and remember all is not right. But this is our life now and we must not let it rob us of our joy. There are other people and things that deserve our attention and love!
Yes, yes, yes. Most often I avoid looking at old photos of our daughter -- it is too painful. But I choose to hope that one day they will find their way back to us.
You're very right. We pray they don't physically transition. But even when irreversible mutilation has been inflicted, life is never irreversible. Your body might be a damaged temple, but your soul, once free from the trans cult is still very much alive deep within. Detrans folks can still live a vibrant and meaningful life. Don't let gruesome nazi like surgeries fool you into believing that it's over. Even mutilated, they re still valuable humans that inspire and have a lot to give . And if it's your kid, make sure they know that s how you see them. Still precious, still loved. And relationships that were seemingly broken beyond repair can be reborn from the ashes of life s mistakes. There is ALWAYS HOPE.
thank you for sharing this... it so resonates with me.. my daughter has alienated me this last year and half for the same reason. I miss her so much and grieve the loss. I know she's still in there, just like your son.... I pray the Lord opens their eyes, works in their hearts and brings our prodigals home!
My brother is 37 now. It's nearly two years since I first noticed something odd. A year and a half since I knew, but still tried to deny. He moved out late last year (yes he lived at home that long) and he's refused to speak to our parents since Christmas. I've talked to him. I can send messages without using a name. We never were close though and this feels similar to talking to other strangers in the internet.
I don't think he's going to church, though he was going to ours up until someone pushed back enough to make him uncomfortable. (They were willing to use his new name, but no one actually bought in.)
He still talks to our grandmother though she certainly doesn't agree with him. He doesn't want to cut himself off.
I moved overseas at the beginning of the year and no one here knows. I just tell them that I have four brothers, but only ever talk about three. Maybe someday I'll tell someone but it's awkward to bring up. By the way, my oldest brother thinks he's a woman. I've never really told anyone. They only know if they saw him and plenty of people did. Still I don't know how to talk about it.
Truly heartbreaking. This cult is so powerful, it captures and holds even the smartest people. Thank you for your writing here.
So powerful - I could feel your anguish and your love for your son. I hate this gender cult. You wrote "Find that love—back here, back home." I am praying for a miracle and that your son does find his way back home... where love abounds.
I am sorry to hear that. I strikes me how a part of me already started to try and justify him by finding flaws in his parents. Just like old people easily get judged for what they cannot do anymore by the young people, that never knew them in their vigour. This pseudocult is capturing the minds of our children, but some fight back. Not all children get hypnotised by their lies, but it is a dangerous game. I am trying to think of a way out. How to convince someone out of a newly found identity? The self is so eager to cling to an idea that seems to give power and a path ahead. Your faith is important to you, it helps you orient yourself in the world. His faith tells him, that he can become a woman. You are a woman. You are his mother. You know what he will be, neither man nor woman. A man who sees women might feel attracted to them. A part of him might want to become like them, but when I look at pictures of women and men and compare them to pictures of trans-women and trans-men, I so clearly see, that they are weird artificial constructions, that my desire to be such a thing, vanishes immediately.
Maybe that is an approach. Forget your religion for a moment and dive into his. See through his eyes and think through his mind. Find a moment of resonance and then introduce a situation where the two of you together explore what it means to be a trans-person subjectively and objectively. Go and meet trans-people or watch images or videos of them. Give him what he wants, so to say and let him come to the realization, that this is who he will become and in the process loose his fertility and sexuality.
Maybe he is afraid of women, of penetrating her lovingly with his male genitals. I don't know. Freud might have had some ideas about this, or who else is speaking out on behave of these children. I am sure inclusivity and unity is important and we should not exclude souls from the banquet of the Lord, but life is so complicated and who are we to understand it fully. Go with him and invite him to look through the world through your eyes. I hope this helps somewhat. Trust in his sense of truth.
Interesting idea. I did have a phone call with him where I asked him questions but he didn’t have many answers. I wish I would’ve seen the warning signs earlier on (there were times he had mentioned trans rights prior to his coming out). I have to admit I knew nothing about it and asked no questions. When he did tell me I was supportive in the instant but the next day sent him medical information. He didn’t even read it (his response was too quick) and called it junk science. I tried to tell him let’s agree to disagree but he wouldn’t accept that either. I do not believe he has the trust level now that I would be like let’s explore this and I wouldn’t judge it. I do want to note that on that first phone call when he told me, I supported in the instant and wanted to discuss a get together with him and he immediately started giving excuses for me to not come and see him. But your idea is good for thought. Thanks.
I am so sorry. What a beautiful, heartbreaking tribute both to Stevie and the unfailing love of his parent. My whole soul hurts for your family. It is unthinkable that our own society, a culture which was once so unified in matters of family is now so divided, and in SUPPORT OF, and DEFENSE OF parental alienation. I am astounded daily that even our president and his administration, law makers, mainstream media and huge corporations are all condoning the complete destruction of the American Family. I will keep you, Stevie, your family and all who suffer like this in my prayers.
love to you
Unfortunately this has been in the works for a long time. If you read up on Alfred Kinsey you can see the origins of this ideology.
I am sorry for your deep loss and grief for your son Stevie.....I pray he finds his way back Home, to his true self....Much Love to you!!
Doing what is right, what is honest and ethical has a terrible price to pay. But I know parents who have followed their children into this cult, who have chosen to participate in facilitating harm to their own children in order to hang on to them. I honestly don’t understand how they live with themselves.
At 3 AM, when they awaken, what do they think about? How can they regard THEIR OWN BEHAVIOR with any respect?
Exactly. I tried to swallow it for one day and couldn’t do it. I was up all night.
I, too, cannot swallow what has become of my son. It's a strong feeling of wrongness that sits in the pit of my soul. I try to be understanding as he's an adult and can live his life as he chooses but I do not have to agree with or affirm his delusions. We try to still communicate around holidays but even that is becoming less and less. I also have family and friends who think I'm the one being ridiculous! And that's fine. I'm content and at peace with my decision to cling with everything I have to truth and reality. I love and miss my son terribly. I look back at pictures and just cry. But for all intents and purposes that person no longer exists anyway. I'm mourning the past that will likely never return. I continue to pray and have hope that he will return but I'm not very optimistic. He very obviously is not a woman although he dresses and acts as though he is. I fear for his physical safety now more than anything else.
Yes, unfortunately, a physical issue is going to start at some point. The intrusion of men into women's spaces is becoming more and more intolerable, and fewer are willing to tolerate this. Unfortunately, this will only harden the delusion.
Yes unfortunately it’s not like when he decided to change majors in college and I didn’t get it but supported him. This is ethically wrong and physically dangerous. We can not support these choices and think we are being good parents. It is scary because of the hormones and surgeries but also because of the sex trafficking. It’s hard to hold onto faith that they will wake up. But at least we stand for truth. We are not sucked in and that’s saying a lot! It’s so hard but I think the lies and deceptions would be harder.
I don’t know. Two people that I thought I knew, people I respected, focused on “being supportive” and absolutely will not entertain any ideas/information that would challenge transgender ideology. They DO NOT want to know. They will not entertain questions. They are so afraid of losing their kids, of not being affirming and supportive that they will feed them into the sausage grinder of medical transition.
It's a cult. The meanings of everything, every definition, are changed in the cult. If you do NOT question the Emperor about his clothes, he will not cut off your head, and you will get the new promotion.
This is so, so shocking. 2 years in & I still cannot fathom what we are all going through. Thank you Helen for your words. The hard part is enjoying life when you know your child is making a big mistake & blames you for it.
Yes every once in a while I will have one of those days where I am so joyful and then I think of him and remember all is not right. But this is our life now and we must not let it rob us of our joy. There are other people and things that deserve our attention and love!
Elementary Schools Are OH MY YES, THEY ARE!
https://www.projectveritas.com/news/untouchable-middle-school-teacher-boasts-tenured-educators-should-use-status/
Project Veritas Anyone!
God Is So so Good!
https://www.projectveritas.com/news/wpath-connected-transgender-health-doctors-prescribe-puberty-blockers-to/
Wow
I do feel your pain. Like you, my nineteen year old son has been gone from me for almost a year and a half. It's like a wound that never heals.
Yes, yes, yes. Most often I avoid looking at old photos of our daughter -- it is too painful. But I choose to hope that one day they will find their way back to us.
My heart aches for you and I believe that our kids will come back one day.
Many will. The trans house of cards is crumbling down. Always hope, never cease 🙏
You're very right. We pray they don't physically transition. But even when irreversible mutilation has been inflicted, life is never irreversible. Your body might be a damaged temple, but your soul, once free from the trans cult is still very much alive deep within. Detrans folks can still live a vibrant and meaningful life. Don't let gruesome nazi like surgeries fool you into believing that it's over. Even mutilated, they re still valuable humans that inspire and have a lot to give . And if it's your kid, make sure they know that s how you see them. Still precious, still loved. And relationships that were seemingly broken beyond repair can be reborn from the ashes of life s mistakes. There is ALWAYS HOPE.
thank you for sharing this... it so resonates with me.. my daughter has alienated me this last year and half for the same reason. I miss her so much and grieve the loss. I know she's still in there, just like your son.... I pray the Lord opens their eyes, works in their hearts and brings our prodigals home!
New Episode From Dr. Jordan Peterson
https://youtu.be/ZkXJojxSE0U