The Trevor Project: Undercover Mom

Here is the original story of how I contacted Trevor Project about detransition and hormones and was subjected to their propaganda and activist agenda:

Why did I engage with the Trevor Project to see how they interact with minors?

The answer is simple: Because I had to. I am trying to keep my child safe from bad influences, peer pressure, and drug use. 

I never imagined that the bad influences in my kid's life would be the mental health community; I never imagined the drug we were trying to shield her from would be testosterone. 

History

My child spent a lot of time on The Trevor Project website when she first asserted a "transboy" gender identity around age 12. She also spent a lot of time on Tumblr, Discord, and other sites at the time. I had no idea they were actively grooming my child into ideology and a new belief system.

I remember how strange it was to see a post on TrevorSpace.org about a pre-pubescent boy stating that he is "asexual." Of course he is, I thought. You haven’t even gone through puberty!  At the time, I thought it was harmless, maybe even charming. What didn’t occur to me to ask was why the site was encouraging young children to talk about their sexuality–especially with older adolescents and adults? Looking back, I feel even less comfortable with it. Especially since any user must state sexuality, gender, and gender identity to even start to chat with any of the therapists. 

Fast forward three years

We have been affirming our child under the advice of our "highly credentialed" medical and mental health team, but transition was not therapeutic for our kid. After social transition, my child had three inpatient hospitalizations for self-harm and suiciality, including at least one suicide attempt. Yet in our state, due to a ban on so-called conversion therapy, affirmation is the only legal approach for dysphoric kids.

My child is doing much better now thankfully, and I think the gender dysphoria is almost resolved. However, I contacted the Trevor Project for information and resources for parents grappling with detransition and desistance. My kid had desisted once before but was told by other trans kids that it was just "internalized transphobia" (also repeated by the Trevor Project on my chat) and that things would get better as the transition went on. My kid went back to identifying as "trans" after that. 

My chat with the Trevor Project - as a parent

As it became clear that my child might be exploring desistance and finding resolution from gender dysphoria, I wanted to make sure we had some social support. So I contacted the Trevor Project for resources on detransition. They had none. I kept asking them and saying surely they must have something. They finally sent me something from Stonewall, making it seem as though deransition is super rare, even though we actually have no idea how common or uncommon it is since most detransitioners do not return to their clinics to tell them. 

I was furious. I also contacted PFLAG, GLAAD, GLSEN, The LGBT Center, and my local school board for resources on detransition. They had none. Not one. None of them.

That was where things stood until a woman in my support group for parents of children experiencing dysphoria posted about some of their experiences. One stated that her child left a long conversation with the Trevor Project convinced that her parents were “transphobic.”  This made me question what experience a child like mine would have who might be looking for resources or questioning gender identity. Like my kid. I wanted to know what would happen to a child like mine.

My chat with the Trevor Project - posing as a child

So I decided to find out. I went to The Trevor Project and said I was a 15yo FTM (female-to-male) who likes boys and doesn't know whether to detransition or proceed to hormones. The child I was posing at was clearly confused.

What you will see is a conversation where the counselor had no information on detransition. The counselor in fact drove me to forums with dangerous suggestions about hiding information from parents, running away, and even how to get other people to pay for hormones. It also linked to dangerous practices like binding and tucking. 

I was astounded that throughout the conversation they never once said that there is nothing wrong with being “cishet.” Clearly the teen is demonstrating that she would feel shame or social exclusion by identifying as “cishet,” even though the majority of children will end up desisting and no child is born in the wrong body. I was appalled that they never once considered telling this teen that it's perfectly acceptable to be a self-accepting heterosexual (or homosexual) person and anyone who uses “cishet” as a slur is bigoted. Having heard Helena Kerschner's detransition story, I was moved by how she wanted to be “anything but cishet’ because it was low-status and looked down upon. 

I entered the chat with the therapist confused about transition and asking for resources on detransition. I left with a way to get binders, advice that I may have internalized transphobia, and a link to a place to get free hormones (albeit at 18). I was repeatedly pushed to go to Trevorspace.org to seek information from other children and adults about how to transition. 

The push to transition is strong. It made me question whether there may be a conflict of interest of pharmaceutical and medical equipment providers giving millions of dollars to a self-help service that pushes kids into their products and into lucrative lifelong patients—at the expense of our children’s mental health and healthy bodies. That seems like a nefarious conflict of interest to me. And why are companies like Google, AT&T, Macy’s, Coca-Cola, and H&M also giving them money to transition our children into lifelong patients? Who stands to gain?

They are harming our children. We need this to stop. We need the pushback to begin. Choose your hashtag: #Exposethetrevorproject. #TrevorTakedown #GenderGrooming

Select screenshots of chat with Trevor Project