The World Needs All Kinds Of Boys

My son came out as trans to me by text message almost 3 years ago. His message basically said “I am trans and I need hormones”. He had only been “feeling this way” for about a month prior to that, and found the answers on the internet. From there, he planned a quick medical transition over the summer between his 9th and 10th grade years in high school, based only on his self-diagnosis and following very closely along with the plans of one of his friends to do something similar.

Like many other examples, this came totally out of the blue—so much so that I thought he was joking. There were no signs of gender nonconformity before this. Like the other boys following a similar path, he is brilliant, probably highly gifted, sensitive, creative, quirky, kind, empathetic, and he loves animals. He is gifted in computer programming, security, and hardware. This last trait has the unanticipated downside of our limited parental ability to set meaningful monitoring and limits on the computer usage.

One of the most harmful things about gender ideology is that it pushes the sex and gender stereotypes to extremes. It is not liberating, it is enslaving. It tells our delightful sons that since they like cute animals, are slight in build, wear a bright colored hoodie, are kind, and compassionate, that they must be girls trapped in boy bodies. It then forces them into the role of “woman” at a critical time when our society needs men like our sons. If you believe transwomen are truly women, then we are saying society does not need men like our sons. Effectively, they are being cast out of society and reinvented as “women”, which will result in an erasure of the brilliance of what some men can do for humanity.

Our sons are brilliant. Like many other gender confused young men, my son is gifted. He is very likely highly gifted, though he has not had an IQ test. He is so talented with a computer it is astonishing not just to his proud parents, but also to his teachers and our academic friends. He has what it takes to do things like: safeguard humanity from dangerous proliferation of AI by unscrupulous people, enhance privacy and security for everyone using the internet, sound the alarm about the dangers of social media and then implement solutions…the list goes on. He has the skills, knowledge, ethics, and morals to help us all if tech goes dangerously awry. Like many other boys in his situation, his intellect, skills, morals, values, and compassionate heart give me hope for our future.

Our sons are sensitive, kind, empathetic, and compassionate people. I am not sure why society wants to associate those traits only with women these days. Being female, I can attest that not all of us are naturally that way—we are human after all with all of our individual variations. I feel really sad that men are not supposed to have those traits, or they are called feminine, or they are teased for it as children. I think that it is time that the idealized stereotype of the hyper masculine, gun toting, emotionless, and brawny macho man goes away. We need men who are like our sons to balance out society. Men with those qualities will make measured, thoughtful, and caring leaders who could help guide us through the challenging times ahead, with climate change, social upheaval, and the other perils that face us. They may take a more compassionate approach, rather than just adopt the stance of warriors.

Society needs both men and women and the unique traits, skills, and talents each contributes. Without one or the other, we would be off balance and the worst attributes of the dominant sex would be amplified. When men and women work together in a complementary way, the best attributes of the human species are realized. Similarly, we need the natural variations that exist within their separate groups. If all women are hyper feminine, adhering to rigid gender roles and only participating in stereotypically female pursuits, we miss out on the talented female physicians, politicians, scientists, and others in traditionally male professions. If all men are hyper masculine, we miss out on the caring teachers, nurturing fathers, male nurses, and other men working in stereotypically female professions. The end result would be a stagnation of society that is polarized in the extreme.

Gender ideology is pushing this extreme segregation on our children. It is not progressive, it is regressive in the extreme. I don’t want to live in a world where all boys and men who have so-called feminine traits, or are softer in temperament than what we deem typically “masculine”, are pushed to become trans women. I want to live in a balanced world where we accept men and women for all of our wonderful natural variations. The future of humanity depends on it.