My son came out as trans to me by text message almost 3 years ago. His message basically said “I am trans and I need hormones”. He had only been “feeling this way” for about a month prior to that, and found the answers on the internet. From there, he planned a quick medical transition over the summer between his 9th and 10th grade years in high school, based only on his self-diagnosis and following very closely along with the plans of one of his friends to do something similar.
Gender identity ideology is rooted in sex stereotypes, based on the sexism of the men who came up with it.
While second-wave feminists were emerging in the 1950s, these men were developing a very different perspective, based on the same old patriarchal stereotypes they were raised on. They believe(d) so deeply in those stereotypes that they believe if someone doesn't perfectly fit the set of stereotypes for their sex, they must somehow be the opposite sex! It is not a liberatory philosophy, it is misogynist and regressive.
Best wishes in getting your son to understand this.
It is like there is an all out push to convert all of the young people to be some form of "gay" person where "gay" is defined as taking in absolutely anything and everything with the alphabet of LGBTQIA+++. This effort draws confused young people (which could be anyone trying to grow up or trying not to grow up) of any sexual orientation... And, it is the opposite of letting people be - new names, pronouns, hormones, and surgeries are "absolutely necessary" to be your "authentic self".
I find it so irritating that the younger generation finds texting appropriate for all communication. I think there may be hope still. Many de-transitioners spend 5+ years on the tr train, then come back to natural mind/body connections. The book, Transforming Trauma by Dr. James Gordon is a good resource for mind/body. His center is at cmbm.org. Take a look at The Honesty Project youtube channel, where Veera goes through her deprogramming process, and ultimately calls the trans ideology a cult. These young people are tricked into believing they "pass". Hands, feet, Adam's apple, hip/shoulder ratio and voice, even on estrogen, reveal your birth sex. I hope your son will give in to the doubts that all of them have. Whose Body Is It channel has several deprogramming videos, interviews with those who gave it up. My heart goes out to you.
I agree with everything you said, and I will take it further, to account for some of the other people affected by this ideology. There are many girls now who believe they must chemically and surgically alter the appearance of their bodies so they can "pass" as male, because, accordingly, they were born in the wrong body and have a "male brain," but are not even stereotypically masculine. They just think they have to do this to their bodies to ever be happy and cannot imagine their lives as females. In either of these groups - the so-called effeminate males, and the essentially effeminate females - as well as the butch lesbians, gay males, and others who are just confused about why they don't feel at home in their bodies (a hallmark of being a teenager, more common in people on the Spectrum and others with reasons to be more sensitive) - the insane notion is that they need to mutilate their bodies to be their authentic selves. Why would that ever be the case? Why would your son have to use synthetic estrogen and block his natural testosterone, eventually rendering him sterile, and having serious negative impacts on his health, so that he can be his true self? Boiled down to that notion, which again covers all of the groups affected by gender ideology, it simply makes no sense, and the harm being done is beyond debate.
I agree with you, Karen. Our daughter is a really sweet, sensitive, extremely bright, cerebral, and young in some ways girl. It does seem to hit the sensitive and intellectually gifted often - and when they are young they cannot think through consequences. What 15 year old is thinking about having kids? What teenager is "comfortable" in any way? The mental contortion when you are a straight girl with a couple of influential friends in a GSA (and not a lot of other friends) is that you are actually a "homosexual boy". This ideology serves the AGP men who claim they are "lesbians".
An essential feature of the trans project is to invalidate and eradicate homosexuality, because it implies that there are two sexes...especially since so many gender nonconforming young people grow up to be gay. This is one of the reasons they start grooming children so early now.
As an old lesbian (pushing 70) I've seen the decimation of my once thriving community. When detransitioners come out as lesbians now, especially the butches, as you note, they have no place to go.
Thanks for the tip. I just watched his "In the Ladies" video. It illustrates better than any article or rant could, the narcissistic, fetishistic and misogynistic personalities of autogynephiles and the danger they pose to women and children.
They are the groomers at the other end of the internet thread teens fall prey to. I do not understand why they are not staked out like child pornographers and molesters of children on the internet. They use children to normalize their unbalanced, precarious disconnect from reality. They need to be called out, ostracized, out of your sons' and daughters' lives.
I think I understand why they are not staked out like child pornographers and molesters of children on the internet. It's because they are "trans." This gives them cover. "Trans people" are the sainted victims of wokeism. They're exempt from scrutiny.
I avoid even the use of the words feminine and masculine anymore. Women have to be strong. Men have to be nurturing. In past generations, the mortality rate meant that mothers and fathers were widowed, had to parent in all aspects of childrearing. The younger generations' sex stereotyping confounds me. I am sad to say, I do not accept your son into the female sisterhood. I sense he's been groomed by online gaming, possibly porn and could there be an older groomer on Reddit or Tumblr? This is often the path. "Gender-non conforming" parents should not blame themselves. It is a cult, which recruits "kind" young new members, by force-teaming "civil rights for disadvantaged minorities" with rights for cross-sex identification. Look up the Arcus Foundation and their funding of the clubs and propaganda. I hope your son drops this phase. Many do. The medicalization is physically damaging, and de-transition may happen 6 months or 15 years after irreversible surgery. If you want to detail more about patterns you've noticed, visit my blog, uteheggengrasswidow.wordpress.com You are a good father, you deserve better.
Great post. In many ways you could be describing my son, who has been taking cross-sex hormones for over 3 years. It seemed not to help that his father and I are both gender-non-conforming in many ways. His Dad told our son many times that being a man does not mean that you crush a beer can against your forehead and grunt. But our son seems to have absorbed nothing except for the gender ideology trans cult. I agree that we are destroying exactly the wonderful young men and woman who could do so much for the world. I cannot believe that I am living to see this disaster. It is so hard for us to push back against the sea of insanity in our so-called health care professionals, friends, and relatives who either do not "get it" or simply do not want to "get it" preferring to cover their ears.
I remember the comment “your baby is too pretty to be a boy”. Now 6’2 and still good looking he has watched his sister change gender. He will always be my son. Never would I be able to call him a daughter, just as I refuse to call my daughter my son. Something in me will not allow that, even if the whole world goes crazy and re sexes our children. If they had been born intersex, we would not have this problem. Of course we need laws to protect very rare people who are genuinely gender confused. We do not need the mad promotion of gender change that is happening now.
Your last paragraph encapsulates the fundamental truth of the so-called "gender-critical" position. Our wonderful natural variations are what make us human. Trans ideology seeks to amputate the human parts and turn us into constructions of the transmedical establishment.
Where would I be today without the compassionate, generous and delightful "feminine men" who have blessed my life as healers, teachers and friends?
I pray that your son is able to reclaim his birthright as a man sooner than later. You have my best wishes.
Someday we have to take back our language. When our family entered the insanity I was immediately struck by how one has a special new label, "gender critical" for not buying into the crazy cult ideology. A short time ago the entire world was "gender critical" and didn't even know it. I call for a return to "gender" = sex which is male or female. I believe even the intersex fall into this binary but with some unfortunate medical problems and of course, they need respect like everyone else in life. Intersex people are not crazy. They have a birth defect and in the past they received bad treatment from the medical community (some familiar?) And, "they" might refer to conjoined twins. Gnostic beliefs seem to always pop up and GI is just the latest - but it is the most harmful because of of tech/pharma/medical machine - plus an education system that thinks parents and families ought to be tossed out of the equation because the State knows better.
As a society, we have been sold a lie about "masculinity" and "femininity" for centuries, and gender advocates are trying to reinforce them in a way that denies biological reality. Phenomenology (the idea that something can only be (arbitrarily) defined in relation to its appearance) is at its root, with the claim that the (arbitrary) appearance of masculinity and femininity are the only defining terms of being male or female. This is, of course, wrong in every single way. None of the characteristics you refer to are naturally sex-based - they are people-based. Bravery, sensitivity, intelligence, empathy, all of them apply just as much to women as men, girls as well as boys. Gender ideology is the last gasp of the Western world trying to shore up beliefs that have benefitted the few over the many, men over women, for at least 2000 years. Our children are the latest, but hopefully the last, foot-soldiers in this conflict.
Look up the Arcus Foundation, the pharma mogul Jennifer Pritzger, and Martine Rothblatt. The best interview on this is Jennifer Bilek on the YouTube channel, Whose Body Is It.
This crazy movement is working to destroy the efforts to celebrate all the diverse ways of being human that we had been learning to do, which said girls can do anything and boys can do anything (except contribute to procreation as the opposite sex). It's so regressive, sexist, and, well, incorrect! If he feels some way and is a boy....boys feel that way. At least one does!
Agreed. Thank you.
Gender identity ideology is rooted in sex stereotypes, based on the sexism of the men who came up with it.
While second-wave feminists were emerging in the 1950s, these men were developing a very different perspective, based on the same old patriarchal stereotypes they were raised on. They believe(d) so deeply in those stereotypes that they believe if someone doesn't perfectly fit the set of stereotypes for their sex, they must somehow be the opposite sex! It is not a liberatory philosophy, it is misogynist and regressive.
Best wishes in getting your son to understand this.
oy vey! please visit my essay blog, uteheggengrrasswidow.wordpress.com to read my post today about authentic motherhood.
FYI. Your link is not pointing to your blog. Thanks for writing it! I’m not through all your posts.
sorry, a typo. here it is uteheggengrasswidow.wordpress.com
It is like there is an all out push to convert all of the young people to be some form of "gay" person where "gay" is defined as taking in absolutely anything and everything with the alphabet of LGBTQIA+++. This effort draws confused young people (which could be anyone trying to grow up or trying not to grow up) of any sexual orientation... And, it is the opposite of letting people be - new names, pronouns, hormones, and surgeries are "absolutely necessary" to be your "authentic self".
I find it so irritating that the younger generation finds texting appropriate for all communication. I think there may be hope still. Many de-transitioners spend 5+ years on the tr train, then come back to natural mind/body connections. The book, Transforming Trauma by Dr. James Gordon is a good resource for mind/body. His center is at cmbm.org. Take a look at The Honesty Project youtube channel, where Veera goes through her deprogramming process, and ultimately calls the trans ideology a cult. These young people are tricked into believing they "pass". Hands, feet, Adam's apple, hip/shoulder ratio and voice, even on estrogen, reveal your birth sex. I hope your son will give in to the doubts that all of them have. Whose Body Is It channel has several deprogramming videos, interviews with those who gave it up. My heart goes out to you.
Would you believe texting is now for somewhat older people and the young mostly "Snap" each other over Snapchat.
This is so brilliant!😘
I agree with everything you said, and I will take it further, to account for some of the other people affected by this ideology. There are many girls now who believe they must chemically and surgically alter the appearance of their bodies so they can "pass" as male, because, accordingly, they were born in the wrong body and have a "male brain," but are not even stereotypically masculine. They just think they have to do this to their bodies to ever be happy and cannot imagine their lives as females. In either of these groups - the so-called effeminate males, and the essentially effeminate females - as well as the butch lesbians, gay males, and others who are just confused about why they don't feel at home in their bodies (a hallmark of being a teenager, more common in people on the Spectrum and others with reasons to be more sensitive) - the insane notion is that they need to mutilate their bodies to be their authentic selves. Why would that ever be the case? Why would your son have to use synthetic estrogen and block his natural testosterone, eventually rendering him sterile, and having serious negative impacts on his health, so that he can be his true self? Boiled down to that notion, which again covers all of the groups affected by gender ideology, it simply makes no sense, and the harm being done is beyond debate.
I agree with you, Karen. Our daughter is a really sweet, sensitive, extremely bright, cerebral, and young in some ways girl. It does seem to hit the sensitive and intellectually gifted often - and when they are young they cannot think through consequences. What 15 year old is thinking about having kids? What teenager is "comfortable" in any way? The mental contortion when you are a straight girl with a couple of influential friends in a GSA (and not a lot of other friends) is that you are actually a "homosexual boy". This ideology serves the AGP men who claim they are "lesbians".
An essential feature of the trans project is to invalidate and eradicate homosexuality, because it implies that there are two sexes...especially since so many gender nonconforming young people grow up to be gay. This is one of the reasons they start grooming children so early now.
As an old lesbian (pushing 70) I've seen the decimation of my once thriving community. When detransitioners come out as lesbians now, especially the butches, as you note, they have no place to go.
The youtube channel, MrMenno, presents this quite well, with clever songs. Also, Magdalen Berns channel is still there on youtube, RIP.
Thanks for the tip. I just watched his "In the Ladies" video. It illustrates better than any article or rant could, the narcissistic, fetishistic and misogynistic personalities of autogynephiles and the danger they pose to women and children.
They are the groomers at the other end of the internet thread teens fall prey to. I do not understand why they are not staked out like child pornographers and molesters of children on the internet. They use children to normalize their unbalanced, precarious disconnect from reality. They need to be called out, ostracized, out of your sons' and daughters' lives.
I think I understand why they are not staked out like child pornographers and molesters of children on the internet. It's because they are "trans." This gives them cover. "Trans people" are the sainted victims of wokeism. They're exempt from scrutiny.
Still, it is contacting a minor by an unknown adult. No one knows their true intentions.
I avoid even the use of the words feminine and masculine anymore. Women have to be strong. Men have to be nurturing. In past generations, the mortality rate meant that mothers and fathers were widowed, had to parent in all aspects of childrearing. The younger generations' sex stereotyping confounds me. I am sad to say, I do not accept your son into the female sisterhood. I sense he's been groomed by online gaming, possibly porn and could there be an older groomer on Reddit or Tumblr? This is often the path. "Gender-non conforming" parents should not blame themselves. It is a cult, which recruits "kind" young new members, by force-teaming "civil rights for disadvantaged minorities" with rights for cross-sex identification. Look up the Arcus Foundation and their funding of the clubs and propaganda. I hope your son drops this phase. Many do. The medicalization is physically damaging, and de-transition may happen 6 months or 15 years after irreversible surgery. If you want to detail more about patterns you've noticed, visit my blog, uteheggengrasswidow.wordpress.com You are a good father, you deserve better.
Great post. In many ways you could be describing my son, who has been taking cross-sex hormones for over 3 years. It seemed not to help that his father and I are both gender-non-conforming in many ways. His Dad told our son many times that being a man does not mean that you crush a beer can against your forehead and grunt. But our son seems to have absorbed nothing except for the gender ideology trans cult. I agree that we are destroying exactly the wonderful young men and woman who could do so much for the world. I cannot believe that I am living to see this disaster. It is so hard for us to push back against the sea of insanity in our so-called health care professionals, friends, and relatives who either do not "get it" or simply do not want to "get it" preferring to cover their ears.
I remember the comment “your baby is too pretty to be a boy”. Now 6’2 and still good looking he has watched his sister change gender. He will always be my son. Never would I be able to call him a daughter, just as I refuse to call my daughter my son. Something in me will not allow that, even if the whole world goes crazy and re sexes our children. If they had been born intersex, we would not have this problem. Of course we need laws to protect very rare people who are genuinely gender confused. We do not need the mad promotion of gender change that is happening now.
This is beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing.
Your last paragraph encapsulates the fundamental truth of the so-called "gender-critical" position. Our wonderful natural variations are what make us human. Trans ideology seeks to amputate the human parts and turn us into constructions of the transmedical establishment.
Where would I be today without the compassionate, generous and delightful "feminine men" who have blessed my life as healers, teachers and friends?
I pray that your son is able to reclaim his birthright as a man sooner than later. You have my best wishes.
Someday we have to take back our language. When our family entered the insanity I was immediately struck by how one has a special new label, "gender critical" for not buying into the crazy cult ideology. A short time ago the entire world was "gender critical" and didn't even know it. I call for a return to "gender" = sex which is male or female. I believe even the intersex fall into this binary but with some unfortunate medical problems and of course, they need respect like everyone else in life. Intersex people are not crazy. They have a birth defect and in the past they received bad treatment from the medical community (some familiar?) And, "they" might refer to conjoined twins. Gnostic beliefs seem to always pop up and GI is just the latest - but it is the most harmful because of of tech/pharma/medical machine - plus an education system that thinks parents and families ought to be tossed out of the equation because the State knows better.
As a society, we have been sold a lie about "masculinity" and "femininity" for centuries, and gender advocates are trying to reinforce them in a way that denies biological reality. Phenomenology (the idea that something can only be (arbitrarily) defined in relation to its appearance) is at its root, with the claim that the (arbitrary) appearance of masculinity and femininity are the only defining terms of being male or female. This is, of course, wrong in every single way. None of the characteristics you refer to are naturally sex-based - they are people-based. Bravery, sensitivity, intelligence, empathy, all of them apply just as much to women as men, girls as well as boys. Gender ideology is the last gasp of the Western world trying to shore up beliefs that have benefitted the few over the many, men over women, for at least 2000 years. Our children are the latest, but hopefully the last, foot-soldiers in this conflict.
Look up the Arcus Foundation, the pharma mogul Jennifer Pritzger, and Martine Rothblatt. The best interview on this is Jennifer Bilek on the YouTube channel, Whose Body Is It.
This crazy movement is working to destroy the efforts to celebrate all the diverse ways of being human that we had been learning to do, which said girls can do anything and boys can do anything (except contribute to procreation as the opposite sex). It's so regressive, sexist, and, well, incorrect! If he feels some way and is a boy....boys feel that way. At least one does!