There Is Still Hope—If We Speak Out

Back on March 31st, the PITT Parents kindly published my article about my daughter, Ilene, and how she tragically took her life while on testosterone. I’m writing now to update you on what has happened since then.

First, I want to thank all of you for your incredible support, your comments, and your thoughtful recommendations. Some of you suggested I share my story on X, and I’m especially grateful to PITT Parents and Miriam Grossman for being the first to post it there, followed by Kara Dansky. At that point, I still hadn’t been active with my X account.

I received an email from Simsbury High School—Ilene’s school—inviting parents to complete a survey. As I read it, I felt a wave of anger and grief rising up in me. That school, which pushed gender ideology behind parents’ backs, was now asking for feedback as if nothing had happened. I wrote my review, pouring my sorrow and frustration into it. But I knew it would likely end up buried in a drawer somewhere. That’s when I decided to go public and post it on X. And that’s how it all started. I’ve been sharing my memories, thoughts, and news ever since on my account: True Teller @TrueTeller2024.

After Ilene’s passing, I reached out to Project Veritas and shared her tragic story. The journalists there were already aware of the transgender pastor we had encountered in our 2023 court case. Initially, in early 2024, they didn’t have capacity to investigate further. But when I followed up again in October they committed to looking into it, and by June their findings were ready.

What they uncovered was deeply disturbing: the pastor had been distributing free binders to minors without parental knowledge. Project Veritas also invited me to share my story on camera. I’m profoundly grateful for their courage and determination to expose those who are endangering vulnerable young lives. You can follow our story here and here.

The report reached thousands and sparked meaningful public conversation.

In response, Reverend Jacob W. Dell of The First Congregational Church of Woodbury publicly condemned the dangerous practice of their congregation’s churches secretly steering kids toward gender ideology. He called for accountability and urged the enforcement of Connecticut’s Constitution. An official letter has since been submitted to Attorney General William Tong requesting further investigation.

A few days ago it was my birthday. I usually don’t celebrate it. Except for last year, Ilene never forgot my birthday. She was always the first to message me in the morning or surprise me in some small way. This year I found myself wishing I had that one candle to blow out and make a wish. But the wish I’d make is one that can never come true.

Several weeks ago I was invited to speak at the Federal Trade Commission’s meeting on “The Dangers of “Gender-Affirming Care” for Minors”. And on what day was the hearing scheduled? My birthday! It felt like more than coincidence. As if Ilene was saying, “Happy birthday, Mom. I’m here. You’re right. I want to be next to you—and when you speak, I am.”

I attended the event and I spoke there. It was a full-day workshop filled with powerful and heartbreaking testimonies. We heard from detransitioners and parents whose children had been forever impacted by gender ideology. I had the opportunity to share Ilene’s story. Lawyers, doctors, therapists, and other professionals spoke as well—presenting hard evidence and urgent truths about the damage this ideology is inflicting on children and families.

My hope is that this event marks a turning point—a shift back toward truth, common sense, and the protection of our children. That we remember: no child is ever born in the wrong body.

I urge everyone to watch the recording of the workshop—and please, share it. The truth needs to be heard.

The FTC and its organizers were phenomenal. Every person involved—speakers, guests, professionals—brought sincerity and conviction. I had hoped to attend the dinner afterward with Miriam Grossman but my flight was scheduled for that evening so I had made peace with missing it. And then—my flight was canceled. Suddenly, I could meet her.

That dinner, shared with others who deeply care and understand the dangers of gender ideology, was incredibly meaningful. And, just when I thought the night couldn’t hold any more emotion, I stepped outside and there was a rainbow in the sky. After the storm, a gentle sign—as if Ilene was saying, “Mom, there’s hope.”

And at that moment I was thinking to myself, they were right at the workshop when they said, “We must keep speaking out. We must name names. We must be bold and unafraid.” If parents unite—if we all raise our voices—then yes, we will win this fight.