You described the moment of your son's "announcement" to the family, and the weeks of frantic researching that followed. Like you, we were astonished to discover how far the monster had already advanced into every corner of our daughter's world by that point. The psychiatrist who affirmed on the first visit. The school personnel who just looked at me with sympathetic-condescending faces when I tried to discuss the issue with them. The family doctor who, during a check-up, wrote our daughter a recommendation for testosterone treatment as soon as she got her alone in the examining room. How had the gender monster run so far and so fast without our even being aware of it??
You mentioned that your marriage to his stepfather ended around this time. I'm curious, what were the positions of his stepfather and his father on the gender issue? Also, what was the screaming match with his brother about?
I came across this article yesterday, it's very interesting. It is about the relationship between UCSD and San Diego Children's Hospital. Two women went undercover at the Transgender Healthcare Symposium and reported back what they witnessed.
"A recorded zoom presentation published by Children’s Miracle Network Hospitals featured Rady Children’s staff explaining how the center was created. I was stunned to hear Vice President and Chief Medical Officer, Dr. Gail Knight, say that California Senator Toni Atkins met with her and was told the hospital needed to do more.
Senator Toni Atkins—known for major transgender-rights legislation—helped spur the clinic’s launch."
"In October 2018, Senator Toni Atkins gave “transgender children” Sam Moehlig, Chase Matys-Gleason, and Ryland Whittington signed copies of SB 179, the Gender Recognition Act she co-authored with Senator Scott Wiener. The law, a first of its kind in the U.S., lets parents or guardians request updated gender markers on children’s IDs with court approval, but zero medical proof."
Parents should seek help from their state legislatures, to buy time if nothing else. The US Supreme Court recently upheld Tennessee's “gender-affirming care” ban for minors. It prohibits medical treatments like puberty blockers, hormone therapy, and surgery for those under 18, unless related to a different medical condition.
I wonder if it would also be possible to criminalize the grooming of these kids as a form of child abuse, similar to outlawing solicitation of a minor for sex.
Mom of the same kid here, boy, autism, gifted and advanced same interests. And I too had the same learning experience!!! I did all the same thing you did as well.
“You cannot logic your way out of a trans identification. And this was not going to just go away on its own.”
- The book How Minds Change helped. And How to have impossible conversations was a complete game changer. I listen to it often to brake old habits.
“I realized that I did not approach this correctly in the beginning. Every argument I made pushed him further away. Every article I shared made me more “unsafe.” I was losing him, and my strategy was actively making it worse.” 💡
- learning the trans community, the triggers, the “bad, marked” people I had no idea where bad!
“Connection before anything else. That’s the second lesson.”
“You have to rebuild trust before you have any influence at all.”
- I thought I was but didn’t realize it either.
I had spent so much of my life trying to control everything.
- I realized this was from my past and didn’t know I was actually controlling things. Narcissistic family members I didn’t know were narcissistic. A trans identified teen takes on narcissistic behaviors. And all my past came to the surface. A perfect storm to destroy a family.
But control was the thing breaking our connection. He could feel my agenda every time I walked in the room.
- so incredibly accurate!
That’s when things started to shift.
- making small changes in my behavior and response I saw the little shift so clearly! It felt so good so see sparks of my child return. 🥰
All of this just makes my blood boil...and my son has been free from the trans cult for over a year now, but he is still living in another world....he has trauma he hasn't really dealt with that I don't really know about...because how could I, I wasn't there. I would encourage people to listen to the latest Isaiah Saldivar YouTube video about a global satanic abuse ring that was uncovered. This stuff is real and since so many of our kids are on the autism spectrum they are great big targets. I can only continue to keep the faith that something BIG is coming and this evil is going to be taken out. Prayers to all going through this mess....it is horrible.
Good first article. I look forward to reading the rest. Recently I have been feeling the urge to try some logic, but this is convincing me to keep on my current path of what seems like surface level exchanges just to maintain connection.
Thank you for sharing your insights. My daughter has been in this fog for 7 years. Like you, my husband (her dad) and I talk about anything but trans. We are acutely aware of how tempting every little rebellion can be. Keep showing your child that you can love someone and disagree about other things; the relationships are more important. Someday, the cognitive dissonance will be loud enough to turn the tide.
My son. Brilliant. Not autistic. Same online exposure. He suddenly decided at 19. He's 27 now. I describe him as my bosomed son because he is on an artificial amount of estrogen that was never meant for his body. A host of "medical personnel" are participating in this abuse, anti-hypocratic oath. Even the so-called therapist is not providing therapy, but destructive encouragement. We've spoken all the logic, but this contagion seems to, at least temporarily and just long enough, block one's ability to think with reason and logic. The only thing I know to do now is remain in the wings for the day it all crashes down. The day it's too late because his body will have been irreparably damaged by the people who had sworn an oath to protect him. If he had gone to a therapist decrying a huge offense to his left arm, begging to have it removed, he would have received stellar care to recover. Unfortunately, a penis is not as important. We live in a sick world. Regrets, regrets, regrets...
I believed myself to be a young man when I was in my first year in college. This was before it became a social contagion but it was Santa Fe and trans-humanism and lots of other things were in the air. It was only a miracle that healed me. My dad happened to tell me something from the Bible over the phone, never even realizing my situation. He said that in the Bible, Jerusalem is pictured as "an army with banners" and that "the daughters of Jerusalem" and women in general are, each one, "an army with banners flying." It was a word but that word snapped me out of a six month dysphoria. I was free. The Bible has very freeing ideas of what a man is and a woman is, things that one would never expect. It blows up many of our most cherished ideas of what it is to be a man, what it is to be a woman. It's the truth and the truth sets us free. I am glad to read this article, if my family had affirmed me, it would have ruined me but on the other hand, if they had tried to "logic" me out of my belief it would have done no good.
My son, who was always trying to protect his sister from this harmful ideology finally gave up this week, after 8 months. He said he was going to affirm, and that he also would be there for her when it all came crashing down. "And by the way", he said, "she is very happy now". I hear the detransitioners begging not to affirm, to take the painful road of not giving in to the lie. But that doesn't seem to work with my daughter. So we talk about everything that is important to her except transition. We will need to get her through customs at the airport next week as a “man” (on her ID), this beautiful young woman. She has a bestie, who would be her boyfriend in a normal world, but who is just as confused as she is.
So I'm very curious to read part 2 and 3. Hopefully there is a happy ending with the monster evaporating into thin air, going back to where it came from (nowhere).
She is very happy now because she is being love-bombed by this cult. It's an extremely normal human reaction to love-bombing from people she considers her peers.
It's different with parents, I know. Everything sounds better coming from peers. But maybe her brother has the peer leverage to love-bomb her? The more she trusts him, the better a chance she'll have in the long run.
We are going on a vacation together, walking on eggshells. We have a plan, talk as much as possible, ask questions, not judging or preaching, no gender politics, have fun.
As I read “There is always hope -part 1”, it is not about lying, but it is about not arguing. About walking the tightrope of spending time with someone without harping on the gender issue. Not affirming, but also not arguing denial.
That is a difficult narrow path, not arguing but not giving in.
The idea of positively outright lying, I cannot accept that course of action. For my own soul, I have to be truthful. I can hold back from speaking. You might call that lying by omission. That is as far as I can go.
My daughter got a new ID with a new name (gender neutral according to me) and it says “male”. I expect that it will get people at the airport very confused, but they may play along to be nice.
This breaks my heart. I hope your son's decision to lie is the right one. I know if I had affirmed my son's delusion he would have gone through with "affirming care" amputations. I told him his "community" will not be there for him when he bleeds out, but I will. He says he hasn't because I "won't help him". I understand every situation is different. Prayers for you & your daughter.
…Another Orthodox mom here, we are sisters in this awful struggle. Our pleas to Theotokos, the Saints and of course our
Lord Christ are our greatest comfort and our best hope! God be with you.
You described the moment of your son's "announcement" to the family, and the weeks of frantic researching that followed. Like you, we were astonished to discover how far the monster had already advanced into every corner of our daughter's world by that point. The psychiatrist who affirmed on the first visit. The school personnel who just looked at me with sympathetic-condescending faces when I tried to discuss the issue with them. The family doctor who, during a check-up, wrote our daughter a recommendation for testosterone treatment as soon as she got her alone in the examining room. How had the gender monster run so far and so fast without our even being aware of it??
You mentioned that your marriage to his stepfather ended around this time. I'm curious, what were the positions of his stepfather and his father on the gender issue? Also, what was the screaming match with his brother about?
🙏🩵❤️
I came across this article yesterday, it's very interesting. It is about the relationship between UCSD and San Diego Children's Hospital. Two women went undercover at the Transgender Healthcare Symposium and reported back what they witnessed.
https://melissaincalifornia.substack.com/p/my-eyewitness-account-of-ucsds-transgender?publication_id=2411526&post_id=156715925&isFreemail=true&r=khop7&triedRedirect=true
Thank you for sharing this, Un-silent.
"A recorded zoom presentation published by Children’s Miracle Network Hospitals featured Rady Children’s staff explaining how the center was created. I was stunned to hear Vice President and Chief Medical Officer, Dr. Gail Knight, say that California Senator Toni Atkins met with her and was told the hospital needed to do more.
Senator Toni Atkins—known for major transgender-rights legislation—helped spur the clinic’s launch."
"In October 2018, Senator Toni Atkins gave “transgender children” Sam Moehlig, Chase Matys-Gleason, and Ryland Whittington signed copies of SB 179, the Gender Recognition Act she co-authored with Senator Scott Wiener. The law, a first of its kind in the U.S., lets parents or guardians request updated gender markers on children’s IDs with court approval, but zero medical proof."
Words fail.
Our legislature is beyond vile, and don't even get me started on the medical industry, a bunch of serpents.
Parents should seek help from their state legislatures, to buy time if nothing else. The US Supreme Court recently upheld Tennessee's “gender-affirming care” ban for minors. It prohibits medical treatments like puberty blockers, hormone therapy, and surgery for those under 18, unless related to a different medical condition.
I wonder if it would also be possible to criminalize the grooming of these kids as a form of child abuse, similar to outlawing solicitation of a minor for sex.
Mom of the same kid here, boy, autism, gifted and advanced same interests. And I too had the same learning experience!!! I did all the same thing you did as well.
“You cannot logic your way out of a trans identification. And this was not going to just go away on its own.”
- The book How Minds Change helped. And How to have impossible conversations was a complete game changer. I listen to it often to brake old habits.
“I realized that I did not approach this correctly in the beginning. Every argument I made pushed him further away. Every article I shared made me more “unsafe.” I was losing him, and my strategy was actively making it worse.” 💡
- learning the trans community, the triggers, the “bad, marked” people I had no idea where bad!
“Connection before anything else. That’s the second lesson.”
“You have to rebuild trust before you have any influence at all.”
- I thought I was but didn’t realize it either.
I had spent so much of my life trying to control everything.
- I realized this was from my past and didn’t know I was actually controlling things. Narcissistic family members I didn’t know were narcissistic. A trans identified teen takes on narcissistic behaviors. And all my past came to the surface. A perfect storm to destroy a family.
But control was the thing breaking our connection. He could feel my agenda every time I walked in the room.
- so incredibly accurate!
That’s when things started to shift.
- making small changes in my behavior and response I saw the little shift so clearly! It felt so good so see sparks of my child return. 🥰
All of this just makes my blood boil...and my son has been free from the trans cult for over a year now, but he is still living in another world....he has trauma he hasn't really dealt with that I don't really know about...because how could I, I wasn't there. I would encourage people to listen to the latest Isaiah Saldivar YouTube video about a global satanic abuse ring that was uncovered. This stuff is real and since so many of our kids are on the autism spectrum they are great big targets. I can only continue to keep the faith that something BIG is coming and this evil is going to be taken out. Prayers to all going through this mess....it is horrible.
“You have to get back on the same team before you can steer the ship anywhere. You have to rebuild trust before you have any influence at all.”
👌🏼
I’m right in the middle of this and reconnecting with my TI daughter after years of estrangement.
Good first article. I look forward to reading the rest. Recently I have been feeling the urge to try some logic, but this is convincing me to keep on my current path of what seems like surface level exchanges just to maintain connection.
Thank you for sharing your insights. My daughter has been in this fog for 7 years. Like you, my husband (her dad) and I talk about anything but trans. We are acutely aware of how tempting every little rebellion can be. Keep showing your child that you can love someone and disagree about other things; the relationships are more important. Someday, the cognitive dissonance will be loud enough to turn the tide.
"But control was the thing breaking our connection." Such a wise reflection. Thank you for sharing your journey, I look forward to part II.
My son. Brilliant. Not autistic. Same online exposure. He suddenly decided at 19. He's 27 now. I describe him as my bosomed son because he is on an artificial amount of estrogen that was never meant for his body. A host of "medical personnel" are participating in this abuse, anti-hypocratic oath. Even the so-called therapist is not providing therapy, but destructive encouragement. We've spoken all the logic, but this contagion seems to, at least temporarily and just long enough, block one's ability to think with reason and logic. The only thing I know to do now is remain in the wings for the day it all crashes down. The day it's too late because his body will have been irreparably damaged by the people who had sworn an oath to protect him. If he had gone to a therapist decrying a huge offense to his left arm, begging to have it removed, he would have received stellar care to recover. Unfortunately, a penis is not as important. We live in a sick world. Regrets, regrets, regrets...
I believed myself to be a young man when I was in my first year in college. This was before it became a social contagion but it was Santa Fe and trans-humanism and lots of other things were in the air. It was only a miracle that healed me. My dad happened to tell me something from the Bible over the phone, never even realizing my situation. He said that in the Bible, Jerusalem is pictured as "an army with banners" and that "the daughters of Jerusalem" and women in general are, each one, "an army with banners flying." It was a word but that word snapped me out of a six month dysphoria. I was free. The Bible has very freeing ideas of what a man is and a woman is, things that one would never expect. It blows up many of our most cherished ideas of what it is to be a man, what it is to be a woman. It's the truth and the truth sets us free. I am glad to read this article, if my family had affirmed me, it would have ruined me but on the other hand, if they had tried to "logic" me out of my belief it would have done no good.
My son, who was always trying to protect his sister from this harmful ideology finally gave up this week, after 8 months. He said he was going to affirm, and that he also would be there for her when it all came crashing down. "And by the way", he said, "she is very happy now". I hear the detransitioners begging not to affirm, to take the painful road of not giving in to the lie. But that doesn't seem to work with my daughter. So we talk about everything that is important to her except transition. We will need to get her through customs at the airport next week as a “man” (on her ID), this beautiful young woman. She has a bestie, who would be her boyfriend in a normal world, but who is just as confused as she is.
So I'm very curious to read part 2 and 3. Hopefully there is a happy ending with the monster evaporating into thin air, going back to where it came from (nowhere).
She is very happy now because she is being love-bombed by this cult. It's an extremely normal human reaction to love-bombing from people she considers her peers.
It's different with parents, I know. Everything sounds better coming from peers. But maybe her brother has the peer leverage to love-bomb her? The more she trusts him, the better a chance she'll have in the long run.
We are going on a vacation together, walking on eggshells. We have a plan, talk as much as possible, ask questions, not judging or preaching, no gender politics, have fun.
As I read “There is always hope -part 1”, it is not about lying, but it is about not arguing. About walking the tightrope of spending time with someone without harping on the gender issue. Not affirming, but also not arguing denial.
That is a difficult narrow path, not arguing but not giving in.
The idea of positively outright lying, I cannot accept that course of action. For my own soul, I have to be truthful. I can hold back from speaking. You might call that lying by omission. That is as far as I can go.
I did not understand the part about getting through the customs agent. Does your daughter’s passport, or whatever ID she is using, say female?
My daughter got a new ID with a new name (gender neutral according to me) and it says “male”. I expect that it will get people at the airport very confused, but they may play along to be nice.
This breaks my heart. I hope your son's decision to lie is the right one. I know if I had affirmed my son's delusion he would have gone through with "affirming care" amputations. I told him his "community" will not be there for him when he bleeds out, but I will. He says he hasn't because I "won't help him". I understand every situation is different. Prayers for you & your daughter.
In a way it’s also a strategy. Go along and sow seeds of doubt.
Yes.