Every kid on the globe believes that their parents could have done better, and that includes the kids of the kids who think their parents should have done better. On the other hand, most parents make darn good grandparents and any person who prevents their children from being around their grandparents is demonic.
I feel I have to be cautious about what I say. Some people cannot be trusted. If a grandparent cannot be trusted, it may well be wise and good to prevent children from seeing them. And also, some grandparents and parents are not trusted, though through no fault of their own. There does seem to be more and more of this. Or maybe it is just that social media is making us more aware of it. In past decades and centuries, people may have simply moved away and that would have been that. Because I am aware that sometimes there is justification for going no contact, it feels like to confess this situation is to open oneself up to criticism and so, so many of us are trapped, knowing people will condemn us, regardless of whether there is anything to condemn or not.
Yes, God confort us. This life is a boot camp really and our Faith is tested, but eternity in the new Earth after every wrong is fixed awaits ahead for us, in the real life. But not all people is religious or things in those terms. Although I am Glad you are, specially as a man. I was watching an interview recently with Dr Az Kaheem, I understood for what he said that he was demonized in GB because he did not go for the establishment narrative of-you can be whatever sex you want and that is possible and right_but he continued helping patients with gender dysphoria and had experienced as a psychiatrist in the NHS. I learned many things from him and probably I will buy his book De-Trans but I want to mention some of his inputs just in case those can help others.
He said that there is a link between autism and gender dysphoria. 27% of his patients were autistic in different levels of the spectrum that is vast (we should ask ourselves why there are so many autistics children nowadays). He also said that transgender are not much interest in sex per se, they go through the mechanics the most of the time. The autistic mind is not flexible at all so when a child find out that he is different to others and somebody tell him or her that the reason is because they are in the wrong body they will go for it to low their anxiety because they "found" the explanation, so autistic kids are very vulnerable. Another very interesting thing that also has sense to me because I am old enough to had lived that time when people who dressed up in the oposite sex we call them travesty and Dr Kaheem says that the most of transgender are not transgender but travesty and that is wrong to call everybody transgender and treat them alike. There are many reasons why a person get something from dressed in the opposite sex but they are fetishist, he things the origins are trauma and he gave an example of a man who was a travesty and the reason he dressed like that because his Mom was so over protective and chocked him emotionally so when he grew up the only way he coped with this repression was to dress like her, in a way of punishing her. So, that is just and example. They are flamboyant but transgenders are not. The most of transgender are not interested in drastic changes at less they have a doctor that push them because they are not sadists, they know deeply that is non reversible. This doctor did an experiment putting together as a group therapy transgenders who wanted to operate and transgenders that had been surgically castrated and did regret and he just observed, that was the best outcome because the ones who had the experienced explained to the others how they idealized that they will have the perfect body of the opposite gender but the truth was horror, they understood and made the others understand that nothing can't change your reality.
Mark your child is a victim, but not of you, maybe you were a kind of authoritarian Father, not the best but humans have overcome much worst that to have an authoritarian or neglectful Father, or a prostitute mother, or addicts parents or abused parents and they had not became transgenders, maybe they had traumas, who doesn't? The solution for our childhood traumas is forgiveness and moved on after let it go, we cannot dwell in our traumas and things that were not in our control. But you mentioned that you were a little bit autistic so maybe your son is too, he did not receive the helped he needed and you can blame that to the society you live in. Now, do not blame your other children of yours because they do not want to speak with you, probably they blame you and they are not christians, because a christian will always leave a door open to listen and talk and reconcile.
Anyway, you are not alone, there is a shift in the States about coming back to the gender dysphoria version of things and less blame in doctors who want to treat it like that. It will take time to make people understand that is not a fad or fancy or cool but a mental condition as to be anorexic in site we don't affirm anorexic people. We can do a lot when we see people affirming telling them how insensitive and malicious they are, specially those words because they always like to see themselves like the "nice and kind" ones, the narcissistic people are more the ones who surround the "trans" community than the "community' itself. You need to know also that "trans" want to be trans for the attention and feel loved and that "community" gives them that because otherwise they would not have any control over the people. Trans have to be constantly affirm because what they believe they are is so unrealistic, and they do not want to feel alone. The moment they have time to think they will be regretful but the "community" will them to cut relationships with the love ones who not affirm them (be participants of their madness) because that would make the "trans" person to think if that it is the best way. And we have to fight that "community" (SM, news, entertainment, doctors, schools, alphabet groups, friends, environment, etc) because that "community" is the head of the monster, the Kragen. Your child could have had many emotional or mental problems but he should have been helped in the right way. He is a victim and you too!
Made me cry reading this, I don't have a trans child but I am an ally. I have a grandaughter who I'm bringing up in this culture at the sensitive age of eleven, she wants to 'fit in' with make up, which we have a battle about, this morning she told me she dislikes her pale face and is planning to get a tan, i said no you are an english rose you must wait till the summer to get a tan. She wants to 'fit in' with a short skirt but she is growing up in a sick society, how many boys her age may be accessing porn? I wonder? Some of her friends are furries. A lot of her friends addicted to their phones. Yes I sympathise you are going through the apex of the storm with the trans agenda. I've argued online about the danger of it and I see what you are up against for sure. Prayers for all of us 🙏
Thank you. There is a lot that our children are having to contend with. Porn, this strange furries thing, and much of it driven by smart-phones and unsociable media. God deliver us!
It pains me that parents blame themselves for their loss. It is not something we did, it is something that is being done to our children. Children throughout the centuries have had parents who were not perfect, including myself, but those children would never have dreamed about excommunicating their parents from their lives. I myself would never even think of doing that.
What is happening now is far more nefarious like some sort of spirit inhabiting our children. They seem to be void of compassion and empathy for those who love them the most. The personality changes are like night and day, almost unrecognizable. This leads us to the only choice we have, prayer, and lots of it.
Thank you Mr. smith for putting out the prayer book, it is greatly needed in this time of need.
Thank you! What you've written makes me think of the prophecy, that in the last days the love of many will grow cold. I want to believe that such warnings are given so we will repent where we need to repent, and pray where we need to pray, and love those who need us to love them, and tell the truth where truth needs to be told.
Thank you so very much for your beautiful writing. I will be buying your book. It is so needed. I am the grandmother of 3 trans-identifying, mentally ill young adults; the grandmother of another young adult who lives with a "trans-woman"; and the great grandmother to 2 teenaged girls who are playing at being trans. To say that I hate this cult is putting it mildly. In the throes of mental illness, (and I am not sure what), my son, the father of the 3 and the grandfather of the teenagers cut off all communication with me, taking his children with him. I have very sporadic communication with the mother of the teenagers, (who is not in the cult but obviously sympathetic to the cause, says she does not believe in medicalization but...), is where I have gleaned what information I have on my family. I will never stop praying for this insanity to stop, and I pray for everyone involved. My prayer is: Heavenly Father, we ask mercy for us all, and we ask for your justice to end this madness. Please bring healing to broken hearts, broken bodies and broken relationships. We ask for the peace of Jesus Christ to fill us, and Your power to help us traverse this journey that nobody wanted. Thy will be done. In Jesus' holy name we pray. Amen. Love, Indio
My son has been in the trans cult for 3 years now. December 2024 he decided to cut me off from texts, calls and visits. I think it is due to Trump getting elected and what’s is happening in the world. I haven’t brought up the trans stuff for the past year and suddenly before Xmas my son and his wife stopped communicating with me. I still text that I love them. I pray daily for them.
I gave them to the Dear Lord. 2 years ago at Xmas, by laying them in front of the cross and asking the Dear Lord to take them and do what he thinks is right with their lives as I can’t do any more but Trust In The Lord. It calmed me since I’ve done that but I missed them a lot. I pray daily they come out of it and return to their family.
I ordered your book and can’t wait to have something related to my faith and this situation to guide me. Thank you for writing what so many parents can’t do on paper.
Thank you! May our Father in heaven deliver our children and those who are caught up believing they have a trans identity. Give us strength and help us to persevere. May our love not grow cold, but may we be refreshed by your Holy Spirit. Amen
Thank you for this 🙏 it deeply resonates with me as my middle child. My only son is trans identified and his two sisters agree so I’ve lost all three of them to this madness because I won’t play along. Grateful we’re not fully estranged and I do get to see them from time to time, even though we only talk about the dog and the weather.
I am a aspiring writer and definitely resonate with having to write to process. This whole nightmare has had one silver lining for me because it did bring me to Jesus. Sending you prayers and strength as you navigate your way through 💘
Beautiful, thank you so much! Being a Parent of a Trans feels like being held captive as a prisoner in many ways. Our thoughts, words and actions are not fully free. They are constrained in this death illusion that has fully captured a beloved child of ours. Parents will be the only ones left to help our children, so do leave room for grace for your child to return.
This is what we see and what we are up against, I know whose side I am on, the side of Truth, the side of God. These people need the opposite of Affirmation Care.
Yes, often it feels like we are captives, hostages even. Afraid to speak out mostly for fear of losing our child. Thank you, I will open my door to all my children and hope one day we can be reconciled.
I am glad you found the courage to write about your situation, and I like the scripture verse that you reference Deuteronomy 31:6. It is very difficult to be strong and courageous while we watch our loved one change their name, their appearance, their attitude, their actions and even their voice. It is hard not to be afraid and terrified when this trans-cult monster suddenly knocks on our door and invites itself inside, refusing to leave. We all have a unique story to tell about the same evil ideology that stole one of our children. But one thing I do know for certain, God does not forsake us, ever. I am in my late 60's and I cannot even tell you how many prayers I have said to God, how many tears I have cried, or how many times I have shouted at God at the top of my lungs trying to get His attention. Life is not always easy, but it can hold many blessings. Life is challenging, but it is also rewarding. I hope your book is successful and can help other people who are caught in the clutches of this trans-cult nightmare. Looking for answers and trying to understand the why and how this happened is exhausting. I pray daily for this sub stack, for all the lost and brainwashed children, for the grieving parents, for the broken families, for the damage that has been done to healthy minds and bodies and for God to right the wrong. I believe healing is coming to our land and that many will be held accountable. Amen!
imo: The very act of a child believing that they are trans is a sign of mental illness AND/OR subliminal cult-like brainwashing.
It is a co-dependent self-fulfilling delusion that makes them “special” (most of us desire to be special in one way or another) where they can satisfy their ego’s need to be both an “independent special individual” and a member of a “special” community.
Cults have spoken & unspoken rules. Likewise for Delusions.
Anyone or anything that threatens the sustenance of their delusions are toxic to them because it has the power to destroy the solidity of the fantastical foundation on which their delusions are built, and therefore must be expunged from their existence. More than anything or anyone else, unfortunately, that includes parents (the biggest threat to their delusion). You, as a parent, can’t fake it —- they will always see the disappointment in your eyes. The only solution for the survival of their delusion is estrangement, which offers them great relief along with some initial pain (that they block out over time). That same “solution” that results in relief for them, offers nothing but the most tortuous pain for you, the parent.
Selfishness and egoic gratification are alive and well in the trans world.
I suspect a lot of these kids are going NC because a parent whose love for their children is run through the pipes and transformations of Christianity in the way described by so many here is a profoundly alienating and empty experience. When parents are so caught up in their religion that even in these life and death situations their children are toying with, the parents can't stop framing everything as though it's Satan and the kid is being attacked by demons and the kid needs to get back in touch with the parents' religion and that will fix everything: this is deeply narcissistic. It's no surprise when kids of narcissistic households grow up and develop a cluster B disorder themselves. Stop thumping about Israel and Moses and tend to what your children think and feel.
Quite a lot of assumptions here, letterwriter. I have tried to be honest in my writings and my book about my failings. However, it seems like my child has been guided to react to go no contact. I grew up with parents who encouraged me to discuss and argue and rightly or wrongly, assumed my children would benefit from that as well. I may well have been wrong. But how is any of us to know that what we experienced as a child will not be replicated for our children? "life and death situations" - sounds like you are perpetuating the suicide myth that has been completely debunked. "the parents can't stop framing everything as though it's Satan" - I haven't experienced that and neither did my children. I feel for you if you did. Yet, at the same time, there is evil in every heart (I define evil as everything that is not good, from the little things to the extreme). If we do not recognise this, well, how do we avoid doing what is evil ourselves if we cannot recognise it in ourselves? "Stop thumping" lol. I've been accused of being a bible basher since I was a teen. I did tend to what my children thought, felt and did. However, it seems my child was encouraged to lie to me. How can any parent attend to their child when the child lies?
I have evangelical parents and I am not going to tell you about who was lost. I will tell you that when that person was falling into the cracks for the last time, my parents spent their time moaning about things that are said to have happened three thousand years ago, rather thsn deal with the difficulties of understanding the presenting problem and taking action--while keeping silent about their own selves. When you go on about your beliefs, it is crystal clear that you and your beliefs are the only things in your field of view. The religion is narcissistic and evangelicalism more than doubly so. I'm sure this will be distressing for a lot of people to hear. I see people wondering time and again, why did they go NC I don't understand, before retreating once more into the mirrored pool of 1000 BCE. I am telling you this because your NC kids won't.
I'm guessing that's a no. You are doing very broad strokes here and sound like you have a personal axe to grind against a whole set of people rather than listen to our individual stories. We don't all identify as evangelicals at least not in the sense of being Christian Nationalists and we don't condone behaviour that sticks one's head in the sand. We just have a different worldview than non-believers and a different way of trusting ourselves to a person we know as the Creator of the universe and so we can't put the interests of our children first...our God is first and we will risk everything else for our loyalty to Him as we know Him to be trustworthy and we cannot trust our children or even ourselves as we are all fallible . Sorry that happened to you.
Thank you for writing. Everything you said hits a nerve. I have recently came back to Jesus after almost 40 years, almost definitely because I know no one else is coming to rescue us. I pray relentlessly now.
He’s my one hope, somehow he will find a way. Meanwhile I keep praying and hoping a miracle will happen soon.
Every kid on the globe believes that their parents could have done better, and that includes the kids of the kids who think their parents should have done better. On the other hand, most parents make darn good grandparents and any person who prevents their children from being around their grandparents is demonic.
I feel I have to be cautious about what I say. Some people cannot be trusted. If a grandparent cannot be trusted, it may well be wise and good to prevent children from seeing them. And also, some grandparents and parents are not trusted, though through no fault of their own. There does seem to be more and more of this. Or maybe it is just that social media is making us more aware of it. In past decades and centuries, people may have simply moved away and that would have been that. Because I am aware that sometimes there is justification for going no contact, it feels like to confess this situation is to open oneself up to criticism and so, so many of us are trapped, knowing people will condemn us, regardless of whether there is anything to condemn or not.
This is beautiful.
Thank you!
Yes, God confort us. This life is a boot camp really and our Faith is tested, but eternity in the new Earth after every wrong is fixed awaits ahead for us, in the real life. But not all people is religious or things in those terms. Although I am Glad you are, specially as a man. I was watching an interview recently with Dr Az Kaheem, I understood for what he said that he was demonized in GB because he did not go for the establishment narrative of-you can be whatever sex you want and that is possible and right_but he continued helping patients with gender dysphoria and had experienced as a psychiatrist in the NHS. I learned many things from him and probably I will buy his book De-Trans but I want to mention some of his inputs just in case those can help others.
He said that there is a link between autism and gender dysphoria. 27% of his patients were autistic in different levels of the spectrum that is vast (we should ask ourselves why there are so many autistics children nowadays). He also said that transgender are not much interest in sex per se, they go through the mechanics the most of the time. The autistic mind is not flexible at all so when a child find out that he is different to others and somebody tell him or her that the reason is because they are in the wrong body they will go for it to low their anxiety because they "found" the explanation, so autistic kids are very vulnerable. Another very interesting thing that also has sense to me because I am old enough to had lived that time when people who dressed up in the oposite sex we call them travesty and Dr Kaheem says that the most of transgender are not transgender but travesty and that is wrong to call everybody transgender and treat them alike. There are many reasons why a person get something from dressed in the opposite sex but they are fetishist, he things the origins are trauma and he gave an example of a man who was a travesty and the reason he dressed like that because his Mom was so over protective and chocked him emotionally so when he grew up the only way he coped with this repression was to dress like her, in a way of punishing her. So, that is just and example. They are flamboyant but transgenders are not. The most of transgender are not interested in drastic changes at less they have a doctor that push them because they are not sadists, they know deeply that is non reversible. This doctor did an experiment putting together as a group therapy transgenders who wanted to operate and transgenders that had been surgically castrated and did regret and he just observed, that was the best outcome because the ones who had the experienced explained to the others how they idealized that they will have the perfect body of the opposite gender but the truth was horror, they understood and made the others understand that nothing can't change your reality.
Mark your child is a victim, but not of you, maybe you were a kind of authoritarian Father, not the best but humans have overcome much worst that to have an authoritarian or neglectful Father, or a prostitute mother, or addicts parents or abused parents and they had not became transgenders, maybe they had traumas, who doesn't? The solution for our childhood traumas is forgiveness and moved on after let it go, we cannot dwell in our traumas and things that were not in our control. But you mentioned that you were a little bit autistic so maybe your son is too, he did not receive the helped he needed and you can blame that to the society you live in. Now, do not blame your other children of yours because they do not want to speak with you, probably they blame you and they are not christians, because a christian will always leave a door open to listen and talk and reconcile.
Anyway, you are not alone, there is a shift in the States about coming back to the gender dysphoria version of things and less blame in doctors who want to treat it like that. It will take time to make people understand that is not a fad or fancy or cool but a mental condition as to be anorexic in site we don't affirm anorexic people. We can do a lot when we see people affirming telling them how insensitive and malicious they are, specially those words because they always like to see themselves like the "nice and kind" ones, the narcissistic people are more the ones who surround the "trans" community than the "community' itself. You need to know also that "trans" want to be trans for the attention and feel loved and that "community" gives them that because otherwise they would not have any control over the people. Trans have to be constantly affirm because what they believe they are is so unrealistic, and they do not want to feel alone. The moment they have time to think they will be regretful but the "community" will them to cut relationships with the love ones who not affirm them (be participants of their madness) because that would make the "trans" person to think if that it is the best way. And we have to fight that "community" (SM, news, entertainment, doctors, schools, alphabet groups, friends, environment, etc) because that "community" is the head of the monster, the Kragen. Your child could have had many emotional or mental problems but he should have been helped in the right way. He is a victim and you too!
Thank you!
Made me cry reading this, I don't have a trans child but I am an ally. I have a grandaughter who I'm bringing up in this culture at the sensitive age of eleven, she wants to 'fit in' with make up, which we have a battle about, this morning she told me she dislikes her pale face and is planning to get a tan, i said no you are an english rose you must wait till the summer to get a tan. She wants to 'fit in' with a short skirt but she is growing up in a sick society, how many boys her age may be accessing porn? I wonder? Some of her friends are furries. A lot of her friends addicted to their phones. Yes I sympathise you are going through the apex of the storm with the trans agenda. I've argued online about the danger of it and I see what you are up against for sure. Prayers for all of us 🙏
Thank you. There is a lot that our children are having to contend with. Porn, this strange furries thing, and much of it driven by smart-phones and unsociable media. God deliver us!
It pains me that parents blame themselves for their loss. It is not something we did, it is something that is being done to our children. Children throughout the centuries have had parents who were not perfect, including myself, but those children would never have dreamed about excommunicating their parents from their lives. I myself would never even think of doing that.
What is happening now is far more nefarious like some sort of spirit inhabiting our children. They seem to be void of compassion and empathy for those who love them the most. The personality changes are like night and day, almost unrecognizable. This leads us to the only choice we have, prayer, and lots of it.
Thank you Mr. smith for putting out the prayer book, it is greatly needed in this time of need.
Thank you! What you've written makes me think of the prophecy, that in the last days the love of many will grow cold. I want to believe that such warnings are given so we will repent where we need to repent, and pray where we need to pray, and love those who need us to love them, and tell the truth where truth needs to be told.
Amen!
Thank you so very much for your beautiful writing. I will be buying your book. It is so needed. I am the grandmother of 3 trans-identifying, mentally ill young adults; the grandmother of another young adult who lives with a "trans-woman"; and the great grandmother to 2 teenaged girls who are playing at being trans. To say that I hate this cult is putting it mildly. In the throes of mental illness, (and I am not sure what), my son, the father of the 3 and the grandfather of the teenagers cut off all communication with me, taking his children with him. I have very sporadic communication with the mother of the teenagers, (who is not in the cult but obviously sympathetic to the cause, says she does not believe in medicalization but...), is where I have gleaned what information I have on my family. I will never stop praying for this insanity to stop, and I pray for everyone involved. My prayer is: Heavenly Father, we ask mercy for us all, and we ask for your justice to end this madness. Please bring healing to broken hearts, broken bodies and broken relationships. We ask for the peace of Jesus Christ to fill us, and Your power to help us traverse this journey that nobody wanted. Thy will be done. In Jesus' holy name we pray. Amen. Love, Indio
Thank you, and Amen to your prayer! Let this be.
Thanks for sharing your story.
My son has been in the trans cult for 3 years now. December 2024 he decided to cut me off from texts, calls and visits. I think it is due to Trump getting elected and what’s is happening in the world. I haven’t brought up the trans stuff for the past year and suddenly before Xmas my son and his wife stopped communicating with me. I still text that I love them. I pray daily for them.
I gave them to the Dear Lord. 2 years ago at Xmas, by laying them in front of the cross and asking the Dear Lord to take them and do what he thinks is right with their lives as I can’t do any more but Trust In The Lord. It calmed me since I’ve done that but I missed them a lot. I pray daily they come out of it and return to their family.
I ordered your book and can’t wait to have something related to my faith and this situation to guide me. Thank you for writing what so many parents can’t do on paper.
Praying for us all daily.
Thank you! May our Father in heaven deliver our children and those who are caught up believing they have a trans identity. Give us strength and help us to persevere. May our love not grow cold, but may we be refreshed by your Holy Spirit. Amen
Thank you for this 🙏 it deeply resonates with me as my middle child. My only son is trans identified and his two sisters agree so I’ve lost all three of them to this madness because I won’t play along. Grateful we’re not fully estranged and I do get to see them from time to time, even though we only talk about the dog and the weather.
I am a aspiring writer and definitely resonate with having to write to process. This whole nightmare has had one silver lining for me because it did bring me to Jesus. Sending you prayers and strength as you navigate your way through 💘
I'm glad you are not fully estranged. It is best if we can keep contact with our children. May God guide and protect you
I'm not the parent of aTI kid but your writing is very deep, genuine and inspiring.
Thanks
Thank you!
Same here. Although my battles are on another front, your words brought comfort to my soul. Thank you.
Thank you!
Beautiful, thank you so much! Being a Parent of a Trans feels like being held captive as a prisoner in many ways. Our thoughts, words and actions are not fully free. They are constrained in this death illusion that has fully captured a beloved child of ours. Parents will be the only ones left to help our children, so do leave room for grace for your child to return.
This is what we see and what we are up against, I know whose side I am on, the side of Truth, the side of God. These people need the opposite of Affirmation Care.
https://x.com/i/status/1889678534299320736
Yes, often it feels like we are captives, hostages even. Afraid to speak out mostly for fear of losing our child. Thank you, I will open my door to all my children and hope one day we can be reconciled.
I am glad you found the courage to write about your situation, and I like the scripture verse that you reference Deuteronomy 31:6. It is very difficult to be strong and courageous while we watch our loved one change their name, their appearance, their attitude, their actions and even their voice. It is hard not to be afraid and terrified when this trans-cult monster suddenly knocks on our door and invites itself inside, refusing to leave. We all have a unique story to tell about the same evil ideology that stole one of our children. But one thing I do know for certain, God does not forsake us, ever. I am in my late 60's and I cannot even tell you how many prayers I have said to God, how many tears I have cried, or how many times I have shouted at God at the top of my lungs trying to get His attention. Life is not always easy, but it can hold many blessings. Life is challenging, but it is also rewarding. I hope your book is successful and can help other people who are caught in the clutches of this trans-cult nightmare. Looking for answers and trying to understand the why and how this happened is exhausting. I pray daily for this sub stack, for all the lost and brainwashed children, for the grieving parents, for the broken families, for the damage that has been done to healthy minds and bodies and for God to right the wrong. I believe healing is coming to our land and that many will be held accountable. Amen!
Yes, we are heard. Our pleas for our children are important.
imo: The very act of a child believing that they are trans is a sign of mental illness AND/OR subliminal cult-like brainwashing.
It is a co-dependent self-fulfilling delusion that makes them “special” (most of us desire to be special in one way or another) where they can satisfy their ego’s need to be both an “independent special individual” and a member of a “special” community.
Cults have spoken & unspoken rules. Likewise for Delusions.
Anyone or anything that threatens the sustenance of their delusions are toxic to them because it has the power to destroy the solidity of the fantastical foundation on which their delusions are built, and therefore must be expunged from their existence. More than anything or anyone else, unfortunately, that includes parents (the biggest threat to their delusion). You, as a parent, can’t fake it —- they will always see the disappointment in your eyes. The only solution for the survival of their delusion is estrangement, which offers them great relief along with some initial pain (that they block out over time). That same “solution” that results in relief for them, offers nothing but the most tortuous pain for you, the parent.
Selfishness and egoic gratification are alive and well in the trans world.
as i totally agree with you... any idea how to approach such a kid except for giving up and using pronouns, new names and waving rainbow flags ?
I suspect a lot of these kids are going NC because a parent whose love for their children is run through the pipes and transformations of Christianity in the way described by so many here is a profoundly alienating and empty experience. When parents are so caught up in their religion that even in these life and death situations their children are toying with, the parents can't stop framing everything as though it's Satan and the kid is being attacked by demons and the kid needs to get back in touch with the parents' religion and that will fix everything: this is deeply narcissistic. It's no surprise when kids of narcissistic households grow up and develop a cluster B disorder themselves. Stop thumping about Israel and Moses and tend to what your children think and feel.
Quite a lot of assumptions here, letterwriter. I have tried to be honest in my writings and my book about my failings. However, it seems like my child has been guided to react to go no contact. I grew up with parents who encouraged me to discuss and argue and rightly or wrongly, assumed my children would benefit from that as well. I may well have been wrong. But how is any of us to know that what we experienced as a child will not be replicated for our children? "life and death situations" - sounds like you are perpetuating the suicide myth that has been completely debunked. "the parents can't stop framing everything as though it's Satan" - I haven't experienced that and neither did my children. I feel for you if you did. Yet, at the same time, there is evil in every heart (I define evil as everything that is not good, from the little things to the extreme). If we do not recognise this, well, how do we avoid doing what is evil ourselves if we cannot recognise it in ourselves? "Stop thumping" lol. I've been accused of being a bible basher since I was a teen. I did tend to what my children thought, felt and did. However, it seems my child was encouraged to lie to me. How can any parent attend to their child when the child lies?
Ah, well, it seems people have been trying to tell you about something important for a while.
I can see what's happening. It's not unique. It's a pattern. Take it under advisement or don't.
I have evangelical parents and I am not going to tell you about who was lost. I will tell you that when that person was falling into the cracks for the last time, my parents spent their time moaning about things that are said to have happened three thousand years ago, rather thsn deal with the difficulties of understanding the presenting problem and taking action--while keeping silent about their own selves. When you go on about your beliefs, it is crystal clear that you and your beliefs are the only things in your field of view. The religion is narcissistic and evangelicalism more than doubly so. I'm sure this will be distressing for a lot of people to hear. I see people wondering time and again, why did they go NC I don't understand, before retreating once more into the mirrored pool of 1000 BCE. I am telling you this because your NC kids won't.
I'm guessing that's a no. You are doing very broad strokes here and sound like you have a personal axe to grind against a whole set of people rather than listen to our individual stories. We don't all identify as evangelicals at least not in the sense of being Christian Nationalists and we don't condone behaviour that sticks one's head in the sand. We just have a different worldview than non-believers and a different way of trusting ourselves to a person we know as the Creator of the universe and so we can't put the interests of our children first...our God is first and we will risk everything else for our loyalty to Him as we know Him to be trustworthy and we cannot trust our children or even ourselves as we are all fallible . Sorry that happened to you.
Do you have a trans kid?
Loved this! thank you so much
Thank you for writing. Everything you said hits a nerve. I have recently came back to Jesus after almost 40 years, almost definitely because I know no one else is coming to rescue us. I pray relentlessly now.
He’s my one hope, somehow he will find a way. Meanwhile I keep praying and hoping a miracle will happen soon.