It's a really good point I'd never considered. Some of these kids would estrange anyway, because that's what their glitter families tell them. Any disagreement, any slight mistake a parent makes, is called narcissistic, toxic, and abusive. We are on the verge of no contact, but my daughter needs us for financial reasons (we've partially cut her off, but not completely). Thanks for this perspective, and I'm glad your son has desisted.
A child estranged himself? No, you as a parent failed to nurture, love, and accept their kid. There are natural consequences to your actions.
Your kid doesn’t owe you a relationship if you fundamentally don’t support them as a person.
Best of luck to your child for finding real supportive chosen family. The more you lean into this delusion that you’ve done nothing wrong by rejecting them, the less likely it is you’ll ever have a relationship
My heart breaks for all the parents going through this nightmare. My story is a little different. My daughter is currently living with her boyfriend who is transitioning. He started hormones a few months ago. My husband and I are bewildered and are having a hard time accepting this relationship. We see our daughter, but our relationship is strained as we don’t want to see her boyfriend. Even prior to his transition, we did not think he was a great partner for a number of reasons. (Notice I do not use the right pronouns although my daughter refers to her partner as “she” or “they.”)
I am seeing a generation of young people swept up in this trans ideology. I wonder how many of the trans community will regret their choices in the coming years. Certain mistakes cannot be corrected.
My thoughts and prayers to all parents and families going through this strange sad time.
Words of supreme wisdom. On the podcast episode I posted today, my guest is a 20 year old male desistor who now praises his father for not 'affirming,' but rather listening and supporting: in other words, parenting.
Thanks for the encouragement to parents, they need to be parents. The term parents has not redefined itself or have been although they try all the time. Take one to know one. And you are a parent in the whole sense of the word. Parents guide and lead and keep an open communication with their children but they never affirm evil (of course they have to know what is evil first). Parents are not friends, we can be kind but we are not friends of our children (no until they are parents themselves or adults). Our children will have many friends during their lives but only one set of parents, let's not private them of the only parents they have and of what only parents can do, mainly putting them limits and guide them through the difficult path that is
growing up. The LHTB centers are the worst centers of evil that prey in vulnerable children. We must teach our kids that freedom takes responsibility, you cant have it until you show responsibility and maturity. I also found out in my research that video games are eating the mind of the youth, others also indoctrinate them in to live in a world of fantasy. I know many young adults living like this and they communicate with other people who are in the shadows, nobody know who they are, they can be in a different country and that is cool if doesn't become an obsession. There are video games that play with identities in which you can live as a person of a different sex. It doesn't mater if your mind is sound but if you are straggling with mental problems video games are not for you.
Parents watch your kids and don't wait to act to the first sign of that your child is going through something. Do not thing that is a face (those time had passed, we are in a different world), look who are their friends and what they do, check their cells you pay for them so you have the right. Children have too much freedom that they had not earned. When I told my son that I wanted to check his cell (this was a specific time where a Mom was concerned that her daughter was sending sexy pictures to my son, we want those times back!) he told me that he needed his privacy, he was 13. I looked at him and laugh and I told him that he will not have any privacy, my rules, and if he did not show me I will take his phone. End of the problem, we are the adults and I do not know why we should feel guilty of setting rules in your own home. They hate you but they will grateful one day because when they struggle in real life, jobs, colleges they will be strong, they will not be upset if things don't go their way. One day my other son told me that certain parents was better and gave their sons more freedom (it wasn't true but they perceived that way)so I told him to go and live with them and I went and called this Mom that we knew each other for a long time but wasn't my friend per se but we had a good relationship for our kids, and in front of my son I told her that my son wanted to move with them and if they were ok with that, my son was shocked. She of course laughed and say no, and I told her to tell my son that. So I called my son to the phone and said"she wants to talk with you". From that on he never again expressed his discomfort in living situations and he never tried to manipulated me, never allow you children to manipulate you. We had good times too, they grew and left the nest and soon I will be a grandma. One of my sons told me when I asked him how was going on at The College, he was in his second year and he told me "a piece of cake" everybody are whinnies babies and complain about anything, they asked me how I can put up with this or that and I told them "you don't know my Parents", this is Paradise. And I was happy that he finally understood why we raised them the way we did, he was teasing me but not really, we shocked hands and then I hugged him and told him Thanks! Be parents in this epoch is hard, but children don't need "cool" parents, they need to learn about limits and know themselves in the process, learn how to manage their anger and disappointment because life is tough but nowadays society teach our kids that they cannot be sad, if they are, they have a problem. We have to allow our kids to go through all the feelings in each age, some of those are not good, specially when our bodies are changing. We live for pleasure, advertisement tell us we have to do this or that in order to be happy or worst to have pleasure (hedonist society) so children do not know how to be sad or stress or upset, those are natural feelings. They need to learn how to be thankful and see the world with optimism and hope because there are children in the rest of the world that don't have a regular meal or a roof. I know we spoiled our children a bit, I never told my children what my Mom used to tell me every time I did not want to eat my food because wasn't delicious (i was a foody) and she reminded me about the other ones, "the unfortunate" and how lucky I was. I never did that or gave many sermons to my children, neither my husband in spite he was firm also, you need to work together as parents. I like the good cop and bad cop concept, but we switched roles, I not always was the good cop or viceversa because we didn't want our children to stablished patterns of behavior. Your children know you better than anybody and can learn to pull your strings and that happens all the time nowadays.
There is not more wonderful thing that to be a parent because you will never be the same person again once you become one and you will grow and learn to sacrifice in a way that only a parent can understand. It is very rewarding, and frustrating sometimes but it is a lot of fun once we set the rules in the house, and all houses need to have rules so nobody is confused and knows what to expect.
But in this forum we have the best and more articulated parents, the parents that fought back this agenda. Still we couldn't be prepared for this. This have been happening from the seventies for adults and in silence but now our children. My first experience was when Lainy the first girlfriend of my oldest son in HS, came up to be a transgender in College. When I saw her in the super she looked hunted and dressed boyish when she was a girly girl, an Irish beautiful girl with beautiful blue eyes. I was surprised and I said hello, she used to call me Mom, she called her Mother by her name. I knew the parents had divorced (small town) but then I found out the mother affirmed her and the father no, but the Father couldn't put up with that situation, he disappear of her life, she was left behind with an "affirming mother". Father only girl, I don't judge him but it is the craziness of all this sect. Many years after I saw her in FB as Len, totally on T and now is a "suave man" because she has so beautiful and delicate features so is so cruel . That was my first experience and I decided it to make it my cause and fight back, soon enough I had the girl of my friends from church transitioning in UCSB. I learned first hand what this can do to parents, but this a battle of the whole parenthood, all parents should be in arms and that is why we need to become activists as the parents in this forum are, just for the fact that they are sharing their stories (no easy) but their fight leads ahead, it doesn't matter their children had come back, they have very powerful experience to fight back for the others that are still kept hostage of this sect. Let's transform a nightmare in a dream!
Everything the author wrote is absolutely true. You can do everything right and still get cut off. Do not support their delusion. This is all going to blow up like all the Covid lies and there is going to be a big mess to clean up. The evidence is out there. Just waiting for the mainstream media to report more on it. RFK Jr. will be going after Rachel Levine soon. Michael Shellenberger has evidence of Levine lying and hiding evidence but everyone chooses to ignore all of it. DOGE will audit HHS as well. Why did this all happen? Many people who have been in charge were sick peodophiles and pryed on children. I know this is all dark but it is true. Do the research yourself.
Parents will be left to pick up all the pieces........as usual........
My daughter is trans identified. We’ve never called her anything other than her birth name, even when she demanded we did. We’ve never used the pronouns. She recently moved back home because she wasn’t getting along with her three trans identified roommates. One of those roommates “ran away” from home even though their mother is one of the most passionate and vocal trans activists around, in our area of the country. No matter how much you meet their demands it will never be enough, they just keep moving the goal post. Don’t negotiate with terrorists.
Children becoming estranged from their parents is something that has been going on for far longer than the trans contagion has been around. I remember stories being told at holidays about my grandfather "running away" at age 16 and not coming back for over a year. I also ditched my family for a bohemian lifestyle for a few years in my early 20's. My gender confused daughter cut off contact for about a year and half when she turned 18. Her mother's sister has had no contact with her family for decades. Nothing to do with gender, just too good for the rest of us.
I guess it runs in the family. My daughter said it was because we didn't affirm her. I know better.
In fact, young-adult estrangement from their parents or one parent is now considered an 'epidemic' and is actively encouraged on social media. Last year Dr Phil did a show on it, citing stats from TikTok showing that the hashtags for 'Toxic parent' and 'No contact' each had more than 2 billion views that year.
Rebellion... unwillingness to conform or obey... this is an 'act out phase' for so many that has permanent repurcussions for all. damn all who assist in this rot. be strong in what you know is right.
I have very strong words for everyone who affirmed this madness. For ones who actually did harm like surgeons, doctors, counselors, teachers and the rest, I pray they stop, and justice is applied. Affirmation Care MUST END NOW forever and ever amen! Or Affirmation Care needs a new definition, the exact opposite of what it means today.
My daughter’s “Christian” counselor gave her the name and number to a doctor who would provide her testosterone so she could transition. You can’t make this crap up!
I think ours did too, what a bunch of weak spined people in the counselor profession we have, too many weak people in general, unable to say no to something like this, it's just unimaginable.
Such Truth! Do not affirm! I could not agree with you more. Pretending is a game for child's play - not for confused and brainwashed children/teens who think they were born in the wrong body. Anyone who tries to be the opposite sex is acting, pretending, playing make-believe. DO NOT AFFIRM this behavior. It is so dangerous and causes more issues. A boy will always be a boy and a girl will always be a girl. Plain and simple. If there is confusion then there is a mental health issue, or a past trauma, or poor self-esteem, or someone influenced your child. Find the root cause. Do not pretend with your child. Be strong. Be bold. Be brave. Never give up or lose hope.
This piece made me feel better about our son’s estrangement, but it’s hard to hang on to any hope after 13 years of not knowing where he is or even if he’s alive. Sadly they don’t all desist. I still pray for him but most of the time I try not to think about him. Survival tactic.
How to live our days, some fast, some slow, some with a moment of joy, some full of nothing....the mental effort, the daily bread of faith. So sorry it has been such a length for you and your family
I can relate. Ten years for us. About three years ago his younger brother, who had limited contact, was able to arrange a meetup. What he saw was “not good.” I asked recently what he thought to be more fitting, his brother being radicalized or trauma bonded? He said trauma bonded. When he comes to mind, I quickly move to prayer, surrender, and returning to focus my attention on the relationships I am blessed to have. Taking time to pray for your and our son now.
I pray a lot and cry a lot right now. Both my girls are deep in the trans cult. One is currently in a mental facility for a psychotic break. Never in a million years did I think I’d face anything like this as a mom. Holding onto God and my faith for dear life. Praying these prodigals come home quickly.
My heart aches reading this. I pray this time in the facility brings about a turning point for your daughter as it did for two of our children. We nearly had three kids in the trans cult but I think what was learned from the extreme circumstances of the first helped prevent the capture of the other two.
Thank you so much for taking the time to write this article. Walking the line of 2 vastly different realities is mind-blowing and makes navigating these relationships difficult. I’ve chosen from the beginning of the big reveal, not to embrace/use the pronouns. I simply cannot have entitled 20 somethings dictating my language or contribute to the lie of this social contagion. Other parents may choose to walk a different path and use pronouns and I am respectful of each one’s decision.
Like other parents, I have agonized, feeling responsible for my 2 adult children’s desires to be some other gender (now gender neutral “theys”). So they’re confusing waiters at restaurants who have to ask several clarifying questions to take their orders at restaurants.
Still, my husband and I hang in there, helping them navigate life (medical issues and car insurance) yet trying not to enable—a very tricky dance.
My heart goes out to all of us as we continue to try to show love to our kids and have compassion for ourselves.
It's a really good point I'd never considered. Some of these kids would estrange anyway, because that's what their glitter families tell them. Any disagreement, any slight mistake a parent makes, is called narcissistic, toxic, and abusive. We are on the verge of no contact, but my daughter needs us for financial reasons (we've partially cut her off, but not completely). Thanks for this perspective, and I'm glad your son has desisted.
A child estranged himself? No, you as a parent failed to nurture, love, and accept their kid. There are natural consequences to your actions.
Your kid doesn’t owe you a relationship if you fundamentally don’t support them as a person.
Best of luck to your child for finding real supportive chosen family. The more you lean into this delusion that you’ve done nothing wrong by rejecting them, the less likely it is you’ll ever have a relationship
My heart breaks for all the parents going through this nightmare. My story is a little different. My daughter is currently living with her boyfriend who is transitioning. He started hormones a few months ago. My husband and I are bewildered and are having a hard time accepting this relationship. We see our daughter, but our relationship is strained as we don’t want to see her boyfriend. Even prior to his transition, we did not think he was a great partner for a number of reasons. (Notice I do not use the right pronouns although my daughter refers to her partner as “she” or “they.”)
I am seeing a generation of young people swept up in this trans ideology. I wonder how many of the trans community will regret their choices in the coming years. Certain mistakes cannot be corrected.
My thoughts and prayers to all parents and families going through this strange sad time.
Words of supreme wisdom. On the podcast episode I posted today, my guest is a 20 year old male desistor who now praises his father for not 'affirming,' but rather listening and supporting: in other words, parenting.
Thanks for the encouragement to parents, they need to be parents. The term parents has not redefined itself or have been although they try all the time. Take one to know one. And you are a parent in the whole sense of the word. Parents guide and lead and keep an open communication with their children but they never affirm evil (of course they have to know what is evil first). Parents are not friends, we can be kind but we are not friends of our children (no until they are parents themselves or adults). Our children will have many friends during their lives but only one set of parents, let's not private them of the only parents they have and of what only parents can do, mainly putting them limits and guide them through the difficult path that is
growing up. The LHTB centers are the worst centers of evil that prey in vulnerable children. We must teach our kids that freedom takes responsibility, you cant have it until you show responsibility and maturity. I also found out in my research that video games are eating the mind of the youth, others also indoctrinate them in to live in a world of fantasy. I know many young adults living like this and they communicate with other people who are in the shadows, nobody know who they are, they can be in a different country and that is cool if doesn't become an obsession. There are video games that play with identities in which you can live as a person of a different sex. It doesn't mater if your mind is sound but if you are straggling with mental problems video games are not for you.
Parents watch your kids and don't wait to act to the first sign of that your child is going through something. Do not thing that is a face (those time had passed, we are in a different world), look who are their friends and what they do, check their cells you pay for them so you have the right. Children have too much freedom that they had not earned. When I told my son that I wanted to check his cell (this was a specific time where a Mom was concerned that her daughter was sending sexy pictures to my son, we want those times back!) he told me that he needed his privacy, he was 13. I looked at him and laugh and I told him that he will not have any privacy, my rules, and if he did not show me I will take his phone. End of the problem, we are the adults and I do not know why we should feel guilty of setting rules in your own home. They hate you but they will grateful one day because when they struggle in real life, jobs, colleges they will be strong, they will not be upset if things don't go their way. One day my other son told me that certain parents was better and gave their sons more freedom (it wasn't true but they perceived that way)so I told him to go and live with them and I went and called this Mom that we knew each other for a long time but wasn't my friend per se but we had a good relationship for our kids, and in front of my son I told her that my son wanted to move with them and if they were ok with that, my son was shocked. She of course laughed and say no, and I told her to tell my son that. So I called my son to the phone and said"she wants to talk with you". From that on he never again expressed his discomfort in living situations and he never tried to manipulated me, never allow you children to manipulate you. We had good times too, they grew and left the nest and soon I will be a grandma. One of my sons told me when I asked him how was going on at The College, he was in his second year and he told me "a piece of cake" everybody are whinnies babies and complain about anything, they asked me how I can put up with this or that and I told them "you don't know my Parents", this is Paradise. And I was happy that he finally understood why we raised them the way we did, he was teasing me but not really, we shocked hands and then I hugged him and told him Thanks! Be parents in this epoch is hard, but children don't need "cool" parents, they need to learn about limits and know themselves in the process, learn how to manage their anger and disappointment because life is tough but nowadays society teach our kids that they cannot be sad, if they are, they have a problem. We have to allow our kids to go through all the feelings in each age, some of those are not good, specially when our bodies are changing. We live for pleasure, advertisement tell us we have to do this or that in order to be happy or worst to have pleasure (hedonist society) so children do not know how to be sad or stress or upset, those are natural feelings. They need to learn how to be thankful and see the world with optimism and hope because there are children in the rest of the world that don't have a regular meal or a roof. I know we spoiled our children a bit, I never told my children what my Mom used to tell me every time I did not want to eat my food because wasn't delicious (i was a foody) and she reminded me about the other ones, "the unfortunate" and how lucky I was. I never did that or gave many sermons to my children, neither my husband in spite he was firm also, you need to work together as parents. I like the good cop and bad cop concept, but we switched roles, I not always was the good cop or viceversa because we didn't want our children to stablished patterns of behavior. Your children know you better than anybody and can learn to pull your strings and that happens all the time nowadays.
There is not more wonderful thing that to be a parent because you will never be the same person again once you become one and you will grow and learn to sacrifice in a way that only a parent can understand. It is very rewarding, and frustrating sometimes but it is a lot of fun once we set the rules in the house, and all houses need to have rules so nobody is confused and knows what to expect.
But in this forum we have the best and more articulated parents, the parents that fought back this agenda. Still we couldn't be prepared for this. This have been happening from the seventies for adults and in silence but now our children. My first experience was when Lainy the first girlfriend of my oldest son in HS, came up to be a transgender in College. When I saw her in the super she looked hunted and dressed boyish when she was a girly girl, an Irish beautiful girl with beautiful blue eyes. I was surprised and I said hello, she used to call me Mom, she called her Mother by her name. I knew the parents had divorced (small town) but then I found out the mother affirmed her and the father no, but the Father couldn't put up with that situation, he disappear of her life, she was left behind with an "affirming mother". Father only girl, I don't judge him but it is the craziness of all this sect. Many years after I saw her in FB as Len, totally on T and now is a "suave man" because she has so beautiful and delicate features so is so cruel . That was my first experience and I decided it to make it my cause and fight back, soon enough I had the girl of my friends from church transitioning in UCSB. I learned first hand what this can do to parents, but this a battle of the whole parenthood, all parents should be in arms and that is why we need to become activists as the parents in this forum are, just for the fact that they are sharing their stories (no easy) but their fight leads ahead, it doesn't matter their children had come back, they have very powerful experience to fight back for the others that are still kept hostage of this sect. Let's transform a nightmare in a dream!
Everything the author wrote is absolutely true. You can do everything right and still get cut off. Do not support their delusion. This is all going to blow up like all the Covid lies and there is going to be a big mess to clean up. The evidence is out there. Just waiting for the mainstream media to report more on it. RFK Jr. will be going after Rachel Levine soon. Michael Shellenberger has evidence of Levine lying and hiding evidence but everyone chooses to ignore all of it. DOGE will audit HHS as well. Why did this all happen? Many people who have been in charge were sick peodophiles and pryed on children. I know this is all dark but it is true. Do the research yourself.
Parents will be left to pick up all the pieces........as usual........
My daughter is trans identified. We’ve never called her anything other than her birth name, even when she demanded we did. We’ve never used the pronouns. She recently moved back home because she wasn’t getting along with her three trans identified roommates. One of those roommates “ran away” from home even though their mother is one of the most passionate and vocal trans activists around, in our area of the country. No matter how much you meet their demands it will never be enough, they just keep moving the goal post. Don’t negotiate with terrorists.
Exactly, if your child came to you and asked if he should drink the "Koolaid", would you encourage him?
Children becoming estranged from their parents is something that has been going on for far longer than the trans contagion has been around. I remember stories being told at holidays about my grandfather "running away" at age 16 and not coming back for over a year. I also ditched my family for a bohemian lifestyle for a few years in my early 20's. My gender confused daughter cut off contact for about a year and half when she turned 18. Her mother's sister has had no contact with her family for decades. Nothing to do with gender, just too good for the rest of us.
I guess it runs in the family. My daughter said it was because we didn't affirm her. I know better.
In fact, young-adult estrangement from their parents or one parent is now considered an 'epidemic' and is actively encouraged on social media. Last year Dr Phil did a show on it, citing stats from TikTok showing that the hashtags for 'Toxic parent' and 'No contact' each had more than 2 billion views that year.
Just one more "benefit " of social media.
Rebellion... unwillingness to conform or obey... this is an 'act out phase' for so many that has permanent repurcussions for all. damn all who assist in this rot. be strong in what you know is right.
I have very strong words for everyone who affirmed this madness. For ones who actually did harm like surgeons, doctors, counselors, teachers and the rest, I pray they stop, and justice is applied. Affirmation Care MUST END NOW forever and ever amen! Or Affirmation Care needs a new definition, the exact opposite of what it means today.
My daughter’s “Christian” counselor gave her the name and number to a doctor who would provide her testosterone so she could transition. You can’t make this crap up!
I think ours did too, what a bunch of weak spined people in the counselor profession we have, too many weak people in general, unable to say no to something like this, it's just unimaginable.
Such Truth! Do not affirm! I could not agree with you more. Pretending is a game for child's play - not for confused and brainwashed children/teens who think they were born in the wrong body. Anyone who tries to be the opposite sex is acting, pretending, playing make-believe. DO NOT AFFIRM this behavior. It is so dangerous and causes more issues. A boy will always be a boy and a girl will always be a girl. Plain and simple. If there is confusion then there is a mental health issue, or a past trauma, or poor self-esteem, or someone influenced your child. Find the root cause. Do not pretend with your child. Be strong. Be bold. Be brave. Never give up or lose hope.
Yes.
This piece made me feel better about our son’s estrangement, but it’s hard to hang on to any hope after 13 years of not knowing where he is or even if he’s alive. Sadly they don’t all desist. I still pray for him but most of the time I try not to think about him. Survival tactic.
How to live our days, some fast, some slow, some with a moment of joy, some full of nothing....the mental effort, the daily bread of faith. So sorry it has been such a length for you and your family
I can relate. Ten years for us. About three years ago his younger brother, who had limited contact, was able to arrange a meetup. What he saw was “not good.” I asked recently what he thought to be more fitting, his brother being radicalized or trauma bonded? He said trauma bonded. When he comes to mind, I quickly move to prayer, surrender, and returning to focus my attention on the relationships I am blessed to have. Taking time to pray for your and our son now.
I pray a lot and cry a lot right now. Both my girls are deep in the trans cult. One is currently in a mental facility for a psychotic break. Never in a million years did I think I’d face anything like this as a mom. Holding onto God and my faith for dear life. Praying these prodigals come home quickly.
My heart aches reading this. I pray this time in the facility brings about a turning point for your daughter as it did for two of our children. We nearly had three kids in the trans cult but I think what was learned from the extreme circumstances of the first helped prevent the capture of the other two.
Yes, our prayers never evaporate, they build ! We wait....
Thank you so much for taking the time to write this article. Walking the line of 2 vastly different realities is mind-blowing and makes navigating these relationships difficult. I’ve chosen from the beginning of the big reveal, not to embrace/use the pronouns. I simply cannot have entitled 20 somethings dictating my language or contribute to the lie of this social contagion. Other parents may choose to walk a different path and use pronouns and I am respectful of each one’s decision.
Like other parents, I have agonized, feeling responsible for my 2 adult children’s desires to be some other gender (now gender neutral “theys”). So they’re confusing waiters at restaurants who have to ask several clarifying questions to take their orders at restaurants.
Still, my husband and I hang in there, helping them navigate life (medical issues and car insurance) yet trying not to enable—a very tricky dance.
My heart goes out to all of us as we continue to try to show love to our kids and have compassion for ourselves.
God bless us, every one.
Thank you (through tears).