This Christmas...
Well, this Christmas has been different from the rest and something I am getting used to. No contact with my son and no gifts to buy and ship out. At least my pocket is less empty, which is one positive. I decided this year I would focus only on the positive and stay away from all the BS my child has so aggressively thrown at me or tried to shove down my throat. I don’t know what stage you are in, but I am at the stage of realization that my estrangement is not my doing and I am not responsible for my child's unloving, aggressive attitude towards me.
I am realizing I am worthy of a great life, deep love and joyful days. I realize my child is caught up in a mind control I have zero power to break. I realize he is missing out on the love I have to give, the joy I have to offer, and the peace of acceptance he so longs for.
I believe one day he will break free from gender ideology and become open to accepting himself in the body he was born. When all the colorful language disappears, when he realizes he is destroying his health, and when the curtain is lifted on the pharmaceutical giants lining their pockets with gold, then maybe a light will shine through the cloud of darkness controlling my son.
Until then, my child still lives within my heart, but no longer controls my mind. I refuse to accept the altered reality he resides in, nor will I allow him to alter my memories of him and/or my parenting. I am a great mom (not perfect). I am a great mom who deserves to love herself and is worthy of being loved by others.
Remember who you truly are, grab hold of that person and treat yourself to a life you deserve.
Blessings to you all!
I really needed to read this today. I sent my son some information from a PITT article hoping to start a dialogue and he responded by telling me it was hate information and if I felt that way that I should never contact him again. Wow. I don’t even recognize who I’m talking to. He has been taking estrogen for about 60 days and is 36 and married for 12 years. No kids thank goodness. I’m shocked. And told him I was surprised at his reaction. That I just wanted to hear how he is feeling. He said if I can’t support him 100% then he doesn’t want to talk and said he was going to block me. Whoa! He lives nearby I almost went to his house. But I’m going to wait and let him stew on this. I also think that I need to stop reading all the “proof” of this trans cult stuff and just focus on myself. Oh. He told me I’m a narcissist because I won’t agree with him on his transitioning. Makes no sense to me. I’m going to chill out today and let him be. I can’t get caught up in his madness. Hope we all can have happy endings some day with our children.
Thanks so much for the inspirational words. I'm in a similar place. It's been 5 years and I no longer believe my daughter will detransition. She's a different person now with a life that doesn't involve me. From a distance, she seems happy. Some days I really miss her and our old relationship. Some days I mourn the adult mother-daughter relationship I imagined we would have. Some days I miss the old me, because I'm a different person now too. But there is a point where you have to let go and I guess I reached that point over the past year. I can't think of the past much because it makes me too sad. The future is still there, however. I've thought of this every single day for five years. Five years of my life I won't get back. It's time to move forward.