To help my son, it's time to rediscover myself

I realized after spending two years of my life being turned upside down by my son declaring he was “trans” that I’m not ok. 

I’ve spent all my time reading and listening to everything I could get my hands on to educate myself. I did not believe my son was “trans” but I wanted to verify this belief. I found an abundance of proof but I also realized that there were people actually pushing the trans narrative for profit. These people are so engrossed in their ideology that they really did not care that they were harming children. Not just my own but thousands of children. Once you know, you cannot look away or unlearn. 

I joined several parent groups and the stories parents tell are unbelievable. But not everyone is listening and what’s happening is worse than I could ever have imagined. 

This realization of this teen sexual genocide put me in a deeply depressive state that I could not get out of. 

Suicide seemed like a good route for me at first until I realized I had to fight. I had to fight for not only my son but for every child affected by this ideology around the world. Kids are vulnerable and being taken advantage of by greedy and self serving doctors, therapists, surgeons, politicians, and educators. 

In my fight to save my child, I have changed. I have become so knowledgeable that I now question everything I ever believed in. I accepted the status quo. I voted on party lines. I believed that people were essentially good. I trusted. Everything in my world has changed. 

The other night I was in a good mood. I was my happy, silly, and my old self before gender ruined our lives. A mood I had not been in, in a long long time. My family noticed and appreciated it. I saw my son grin with joy and that twinkle in his eye I had forgotten about. It sort of caught me by surprise. I had forgotten how much I’ve changed. I realized—I’m not okay. 

But I need to be okay in order to help my son be okay. This was a wake up call for me. If I can be happy again and show my son my happiness, it could be contagious. I’m not helping him or myself by remaining in a funk. 

I need to pull myself up by my boot straps and appreciate the good things I do have. I need to do this and I can do this. I must do this. I must do this for my son and for myself.