“We will be examining our gendered naming conventions including the Women’s Clinics and Mother Baby Clinics in order to be inclusive of those who do not identify as women. As the Executive Medical Director for Women’s Services for my organization, the email landed like a punch to the gut.”
Thank you for sharing your story, and thank you for your medical service. You gave me a whole new perspective of what else this transgender ideology lie is doing to our world - transmen needing medical care because they will always have female organs and female body parts that they were born with. What a difficult situation you are in, but you are not alone. Stay strong. I pray your daughter will detransition and return to you so healing can begin. I pray that God will give you the courage and wisdom you need for both your personal and professional life.
This is heartbreaking. Thank you for sharing. I’m so sorry. I entirely agree this is the new anorexia. It’s so hard for the moms as we know they once looked to us as an example of how to become a woman. They are rejecting us and it’s so terribly painful every minute of the day. Stay strong- continue to find solace in the important work you are doing for women. Hopefully the tide is turning! ❤️
"Our efforts towards inclusivity include sensitivity to different family configurations and use of pronouns with our patients." Do you now understand that the widespread adoption of that practice and the underlying belief system is exactly what led to your current dilemma?
Well, what do you suggest they do? If they are too direct about it, trans-identifying pregnant women may just decide not to come in for prenatal care. You can hardly expect ob/gyn to do full-time psych treatment for their patients as well. They kind of have to tread lightly, I think.
I have also faced a dilemma at work over the adoption of this language. I have walked away from projects that required me to parrot this language, and I am considering walking away from the entire organization. I am waiting for that pendulum swing, but more importantly, I want to find a way to help swing it back to a sensible place. Thank you for sharing this story.
Today we had a presentation on DEI and it kept pivoting to pronoun use. I almost hung up. It’s hard to know when and how to speak up in a manner that others can hear your intent.
You should start thinking now about how to transition your career. There are places that will be open to an OBGYN who is principled on this issue -- perhaps even willing to advocate for a better balance.
Her place of work actually sounds pretty compassionate, supportive, and more open-minded then many. She didn't get "cancelled" for her position, they listened to her.
Just curious how your clinic was wanting to standing on the trans women aspect. MTF. My 16 year old son has already, in anger, mentioned he can get the hormones he wants when he goes off to college. I’m trying to look for colleges that don’t have a planned parenthood that offers female hormones for boys. Crazy, I know!! Boys can’t be girls and the idea that a woman’s clinic will treat my son, because he thinks he wants to be a girl, is insane.
Seeing the same trend of "gender neutral" language in the sector I work in. It deeply upsets me. I'm angered by the factual inaccuracy, the disrespect for women, and the mangling of language. But I also feel this terminology is...distancing? Terms like woman, mother, breastfeeding, childbirth, girl, boy etc have an immediacy, they describe something we can instantly understand and relate to. Every culture on earth presumably has words like this. Terms like "birthing parent" don't work like that. They distance the speaker and hearer from the reality of that person's situation, slowing their mental processing like a speed bump. The intent may be inclusion, but I fear the impact is a reduction in empathy and closeness, a weird coldness.
The intent is to dehumanize, the cover is inclusion. There's a very old religious belief called gnosticism. It holds that some people are sexless angels trapped in a prison of flesh, but can be freed to ascend to the next level through the proper gnosis, or knowledge. (People who don't have this angelic spirit are just animals.) The GOAL is to dehumanize people and separate souls from bodies. We're currently dealing with both classic metaphysical gnostics and techno-gnostics (transhumanists). Both want to deconstruct reality and bring about a post-human world.
Yes, I know this sounds insane. It is insane. But the designer of the progress flag describes xyrself as a "nonbinary celestial being having a human experience". Look it up. Once you know what to look for, the evidence is obvious.
The new "inclusive" language is intended to sever relationships with self, family, and the human species. That's not a bug, it's a feature.
Speaking of disconnection from clients in medical field: My daughter's PHYSICAL THERAPIST told her that binders are not bad for her back. Many people put ideology before professionalism and reality.
They are pretty pro-trans though so not sure how it will go. Can you just try to explain it using your knowledge of the body as a LMT? It seems like a common sense thing to me - if you compress a body part for a long time, it will damage its structure. I don't know... It would be nice to show a demonstration on a fake "human" made of plastic or something - what happens when you compress a delicate tissue, what happens to the bones underneath it?
„The neck“ if your colleague is not a native English speaker this use is completely reasonable, (consistent with German articles for example) unless there’s other evidence It might not be related to gender woo woo
As a parent, I have the same feelings as you. Why didn't I see what was happening??? I teach in 2 Catholic Schools, and have telling my principal in one of the schools about what is going on -- in our school! About library books supporting trans agenda... I'm 3 years from retiring, not sure how long I can hang on. We know the truth, and the rest that support this agenda are wrong.
Thank for standing up for women and girls. I wrote this recently...I don't know if this helps, but the term chestfeeding is NOT gender neutral and "chest" is a more masculine term now supplanting the more gender-neutral "breast" - https://wholistic.substack.com/p/chestfeeding-is-less-gender-neutral
THIS IS ABSOLUTELY INSANE!!! There is this horrific nightmare that we're all in and the authorities that should be waking people up are instead, continuing to add to it. It is all so unreal and incredulous!!! How can people be that afraid to speak the truth or that effing stupid? And yes, no one gives a shit about it when it doesn't touch their family. God maybe put you in this position for a reason so thank you for this comment and stay strong! We are with you!
I care and I don't even have kids. I just feel like everything I worked for as a young feminist to break down gender stereotypes and boxes has been wiped away by the new gender tsunami, which sets all women back.
Stephanie, you are a rare breed in this game and are greatly appreciate. You are absolutely correct to feel upset. I don’t understand how everyone can see this is so ludicrous yet we aren’t able to stop it.
We set up systems and organisations and use language in a way that will best serve the most people most of the time. Changing things to suit an extremely small minority is basically throwing the baby out with the bath water. The cold, clinical language used to cater to these minorities has no ‘face’ to it, and we humans are very face-orientated.
And, it actually further psychologically harms the young women who come in pregnant and say they are men. These center are not helping by "allowing for pregnant men" or whatever. That's not just nuts it is actually doing harm.
These young women need cult deprogramming, not even more "affirmation" at the hands of the OBGYN while they do the most female of woman things - bring a beautiful baby into the world. I believe that "affirmation" is yet another term which has been turned on it's head. I read recently about how in psychology people used to be affirmed for what they actually are - meaning they were told that they were great just the way they were...
I will be passing this on to friends who work in women's health. Some are very uncomfortable, others are fine with it and others are trying very hard not to think too much.
Hello All, we had friends over the other night who'd just got back from NY and their niece's HS graduation. They described how she wore a suit and short hair for graduation because she, "always has to be different!" Then they talked about the their growing awareness that their niece might be on the spectrum.
I got warning bells ringing in my ears. She is headed to University in the fall. I said nothing but want to follow up. How can I respond? I dont have a trans ID kid, I'm just a bystander. Is it even advised? I truly appreciate any advice.
What's the problem with the suit and the short hair if the girl knows she's a she, and is in touch with her own reality? I don't understand. Most of us are very tolerant of sex non-conformity, just not sex denial. What am I missing here?
Hi, things are different from when I was young and a girl "having short hair" was not so loaded with meaning.... Nowadays a girl graduating from high school with short hair and a suit most likely thinks that she *is" a boy. Most likely she is going by a boy name and boy pronouns with her friends and teachers. I have learned that's how it is. The parents might have even figured it out but are like deer in the headlights not knowing what to do - trying to pretend it isn't happening.
So, a caring person would bring it up to a pal. Sure, if she just likes short hair and suits - great for her!! But, that doesn't seem to be a thing right now. All the people that age know what it signals so probably no girl would do it without wanting to say "I'm a guy!". The risk is that she comes back at Christmas from her freshman year at college on "T" and having had a double mastectomy (paid for on college insurance and performed at the university hospital).
I'm fine with the suit too, its the possible autism with it. If I'm totally off, I'm happy to be corrected! One thing I see in the essays here is a regret about having missed clues and I may be hyper-vigilant. My desire is to provide information to my friends, in case it may be needed. Perhaps I'm off-base. But its something I've wondered in general. for example, if my neighbor (who I do know a bit) announces she is throwing a party to celebrate her nephew's new gender, do I just nod and smile? Maybe I just do that.
Thanks for your response. I understand better now that this is something you've heard from your neighbor, not something you witnessed yourself. I think you certainly can comment on this to your neighbor--say something about how cool it is to hear about a sex non-conforming young woman who embraces her butch or masc identity without claiming to be a literal man. I think this girl sounds very cool and I hope she has the strength to resist transing to conform to the available heuristic. Sorry I misunderstood the gist of your comment.
I think the concern here is that she leaves for college, perfectly happy being a girl, and outside influencers try to convince her she is trans, and she goes along with it because she wants to make friends and fit in. I think talking to your friends about this risk is perfectly appropriate. They can remind her how wonderful she is just being herself, and that she doesn't need to relabel herself to fit in with someone else's agenda. Her parents might already be worried about this, but are afraid to say it because they don't want to be accused of transphobia.
Yes, I certainly feel your anguish and pain. I do. But, when do we collectively STOP? Just STOP? STOP and say a compassionate, but FIRM - NO. NO, we are not going to be ruled by this minority. NO, we will not give this a platform on which to thrive. NO you many not take our young, beautiful children and corrupt their developing minds with this sickness. The reasons they have chosen this path are varied, therefore we will be kind and considerate, but we will NOT normalize trans. TRANS is NOT normal. This is a cult of behavior. This is a sick fad that by condoning and bending to its will, we are promoting its existence. I cannot thank all the parents who have shared their heart wrenching experiences on these pages. It is because of all of you that we are beginning to educate ourselves. And, because of you, and what we are learning, we MUST educate others. Through education we can expose this monster. Because that's what this is - it's a monster among us. STOP. Say NO.
I applaud you for trying to use your personal knowledge to influence medicine for the good.
I am a doctor in the UK, unfortunately only in aesthetics now, hence I have little influence over anything important, however I spread the word with colleagues when I can. It’s astounding how tolerant medics are until it affects us personally.
Where tolerant means gaslighting people and further cementing psychological confusions, unfortunately. I had no clue this would hit our family but I refused to call girls around us "he" even when mothers were trying to get me to do it. I'd say "your kid" or something.
I totally agree. Unfortunately many of my colleagues seem to be completely naive and believe that they are doing the best for people. Some have doubts, but many are as infected by wokeness as the rest of the human race seems to be. It's only when I share my story with them, that they realise that my trans-identifying son is not 'happy'. He is miserable, depressed , broke, homeless and a drug addict since he has declared his new identity. He has been raped twice and nearly murdered.
I am so sorry. I agree that natural compassion has been taken advantage of and I think that is because the narrative/language has been strictly controlled. We must change that.
Thank you for sharing your story, and thank you for your medical service. You gave me a whole new perspective of what else this transgender ideology lie is doing to our world - transmen needing medical care because they will always have female organs and female body parts that they were born with. What a difficult situation you are in, but you are not alone. Stay strong. I pray your daughter will detransition and return to you so healing can begin. I pray that God will give you the courage and wisdom you need for both your personal and professional life.
This is heartbreaking. Thank you for sharing. I’m so sorry. I entirely agree this is the new anorexia. It’s so hard for the moms as we know they once looked to us as an example of how to become a woman. They are rejecting us and it’s so terribly painful every minute of the day. Stay strong- continue to find solace in the important work you are doing for women. Hopefully the tide is turning! ❤️
"Our efforts towards inclusivity include sensitivity to different family configurations and use of pronouns with our patients." Do you now understand that the widespread adoption of that practice and the underlying belief system is exactly what led to your current dilemma?
Well, what do you suggest they do? If they are too direct about it, trans-identifying pregnant women may just decide not to come in for prenatal care. You can hardly expect ob/gyn to do full-time psych treatment for their patients as well. They kind of have to tread lightly, I think.
I have also faced a dilemma at work over the adoption of this language. I have walked away from projects that required me to parrot this language, and I am considering walking away from the entire organization. I am waiting for that pendulum swing, but more importantly, I want to find a way to help swing it back to a sensible place. Thank you for sharing this story.
Today we had a presentation on DEI and it kept pivoting to pronoun use. I almost hung up. It’s hard to know when and how to speak up in a manner that others can hear your intent.
You should start thinking now about how to transition your career. There are places that will be open to an OBGYN who is principled on this issue -- perhaps even willing to advocate for a better balance.
Her place of work actually sounds pretty compassionate, supportive, and more open-minded then many. She didn't get "cancelled" for her position, they listened to her.
Just curious how your clinic was wanting to standing on the trans women aspect. MTF. My 16 year old son has already, in anger, mentioned he can get the hormones he wants when he goes off to college. I’m trying to look for colleges that don’t have a planned parenthood that offers female hormones for boys. Crazy, I know!! Boys can’t be girls and the idea that a woman’s clinic will treat my son, because he thinks he wants to be a girl, is insane.
This was so well written and affecting. Thank you.
Seeing the same trend of "gender neutral" language in the sector I work in. It deeply upsets me. I'm angered by the factual inaccuracy, the disrespect for women, and the mangling of language. But I also feel this terminology is...distancing? Terms like woman, mother, breastfeeding, childbirth, girl, boy etc have an immediacy, they describe something we can instantly understand and relate to. Every culture on earth presumably has words like this. Terms like "birthing parent" don't work like that. They distance the speaker and hearer from the reality of that person's situation, slowing their mental processing like a speed bump. The intent may be inclusion, but I fear the impact is a reduction in empathy and closeness, a weird coldness.
The intent is to dehumanize, the cover is inclusion. There's a very old religious belief called gnosticism. It holds that some people are sexless angels trapped in a prison of flesh, but can be freed to ascend to the next level through the proper gnosis, or knowledge. (People who don't have this angelic spirit are just animals.) The GOAL is to dehumanize people and separate souls from bodies. We're currently dealing with both classic metaphysical gnostics and techno-gnostics (transhumanists). Both want to deconstruct reality and bring about a post-human world.
Yes, I know this sounds insane. It is insane. But the designer of the progress flag describes xyrself as a "nonbinary celestial being having a human experience". Look it up. Once you know what to look for, the evidence is obvious.
The new "inclusive" language is intended to sever relationships with self, family, and the human species. That's not a bug, it's a feature.
Speaking of disconnection from clients in medical field: My daughter's PHYSICAL THERAPIST told her that binders are not bad for her back. Many people put ideology before professionalism and reality.
I don't know if you can get access to a full article in pubmed https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27300085/
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/33542145/
They are pretty pro-trans though so not sure how it will go. Can you just try to explain it using your knowledge of the body as a LMT? It seems like a common sense thing to me - if you compress a body part for a long time, it will damage its structure. I don't know... It would be nice to show a demonstration on a fake "human" made of plastic or something - what happens when you compress a delicate tissue, what happens to the bones underneath it?
„The neck“ if your colleague is not a native English speaker this use is completely reasonable, (consistent with German articles for example) unless there’s other evidence It might not be related to gender woo woo
Hah! Well then I was wrong ; )
I guess there are no limits to the nuttiness of it all
Thank you for writing. I think that no one really understands how bad this is until it hits their own family.
As a parent, I have the same feelings as you. Why didn't I see what was happening??? I teach in 2 Catholic Schools, and have telling my principal in one of the schools about what is going on -- in our school! About library books supporting trans agenda... I'm 3 years from retiring, not sure how long I can hang on. We know the truth, and the rest that support this agenda are wrong.
Me too Dee, waiting endlessly for guidance or a statement from the Archdiocese, in my truely bluely region, where false compassion reigns.
Thank for standing up for women and girls. I wrote this recently...I don't know if this helps, but the term chestfeeding is NOT gender neutral and "chest" is a more masculine term now supplanting the more gender-neutral "breast" - https://wholistic.substack.com/p/chestfeeding-is-less-gender-neutral
THIS IS ABSOLUTELY INSANE!!! There is this horrific nightmare that we're all in and the authorities that should be waking people up are instead, continuing to add to it. It is all so unreal and incredulous!!! How can people be that afraid to speak the truth or that effing stupid? And yes, no one gives a shit about it when it doesn't touch their family. God maybe put you in this position for a reason so thank you for this comment and stay strong! We are with you!
I care and I don't even have kids. I just feel like everything I worked for as a young feminist to break down gender stereotypes and boxes has been wiped away by the new gender tsunami, which sets all women back.
Stephanie, you are a rare breed in this game and are greatly appreciate. You are absolutely correct to feel upset. I don’t understand how everyone can see this is so ludicrous yet we aren’t able to stop it.
We will stop it. We have too.
At this point it will only happen with the grace of God.
There is that old saying "God helps those who help themselves." Let's lend all the real help we can :)
We set up systems and organisations and use language in a way that will best serve the most people most of the time. Changing things to suit an extremely small minority is basically throwing the baby out with the bath water. The cold, clinical language used to cater to these minorities has no ‘face’ to it, and we humans are very face-orientated.
And, it actually further psychologically harms the young women who come in pregnant and say they are men. These center are not helping by "allowing for pregnant men" or whatever. That's not just nuts it is actually doing harm.
These young women need cult deprogramming, not even more "affirmation" at the hands of the OBGYN while they do the most female of woman things - bring a beautiful baby into the world. I believe that "affirmation" is yet another term which has been turned on it's head. I read recently about how in psychology people used to be affirmed for what they actually are - meaning they were told that they were great just the way they were...
I will be passing this on to friends who work in women's health. Some are very uncomfortable, others are fine with it and others are trying very hard not to think too much.
Hello All, we had friends over the other night who'd just got back from NY and their niece's HS graduation. They described how she wore a suit and short hair for graduation because she, "always has to be different!" Then they talked about the their growing awareness that their niece might be on the spectrum.
I got warning bells ringing in my ears. She is headed to University in the fall. I said nothing but want to follow up. How can I respond? I dont have a trans ID kid, I'm just a bystander. Is it even advised? I truly appreciate any advice.
What's the problem with the suit and the short hair if the girl knows she's a she, and is in touch with her own reality? I don't understand. Most of us are very tolerant of sex non-conformity, just not sex denial. What am I missing here?
Hi, things are different from when I was young and a girl "having short hair" was not so loaded with meaning.... Nowadays a girl graduating from high school with short hair and a suit most likely thinks that she *is" a boy. Most likely she is going by a boy name and boy pronouns with her friends and teachers. I have learned that's how it is. The parents might have even figured it out but are like deer in the headlights not knowing what to do - trying to pretend it isn't happening.
So, a caring person would bring it up to a pal. Sure, if she just likes short hair and suits - great for her!! But, that doesn't seem to be a thing right now. All the people that age know what it signals so probably no girl would do it without wanting to say "I'm a guy!". The risk is that she comes back at Christmas from her freshman year at college on "T" and having had a double mastectomy (paid for on college insurance and performed at the university hospital).
I'm fine with the suit too, its the possible autism with it. If I'm totally off, I'm happy to be corrected! One thing I see in the essays here is a regret about having missed clues and I may be hyper-vigilant. My desire is to provide information to my friends, in case it may be needed. Perhaps I'm off-base. But its something I've wondered in general. for example, if my neighbor (who I do know a bit) announces she is throwing a party to celebrate her nephew's new gender, do I just nod and smile? Maybe I just do that.
Thanks for your response. I understand better now that this is something you've heard from your neighbor, not something you witnessed yourself. I think you certainly can comment on this to your neighbor--say something about how cool it is to hear about a sex non-conforming young woman who embraces her butch or masc identity without claiming to be a literal man. I think this girl sounds very cool and I hope she has the strength to resist transing to conform to the available heuristic. Sorry I misunderstood the gist of your comment.
I think the concern here is that she leaves for college, perfectly happy being a girl, and outside influencers try to convince her she is trans, and she goes along with it because she wants to make friends and fit in. I think talking to your friends about this risk is perfectly appropriate. They can remind her how wonderful she is just being herself, and that she doesn't need to relabel herself to fit in with someone else's agenda. Her parents might already be worried about this, but are afraid to say it because they don't want to be accused of transphobia.
Yes. Exactly. Thank you.
Why? Why? Why?!
Yes, I certainly feel your anguish and pain. I do. But, when do we collectively STOP? Just STOP? STOP and say a compassionate, but FIRM - NO. NO, we are not going to be ruled by this minority. NO, we will not give this a platform on which to thrive. NO you many not take our young, beautiful children and corrupt their developing minds with this sickness. The reasons they have chosen this path are varied, therefore we will be kind and considerate, but we will NOT normalize trans. TRANS is NOT normal. This is a cult of behavior. This is a sick fad that by condoning and bending to its will, we are promoting its existence. I cannot thank all the parents who have shared their heart wrenching experiences on these pages. It is because of all of you that we are beginning to educate ourselves. And, because of you, and what we are learning, we MUST educate others. Through education we can expose this monster. Because that's what this is - it's a monster among us. STOP. Say NO.
I applaud you for trying to use your personal knowledge to influence medicine for the good.
I am a doctor in the UK, unfortunately only in aesthetics now, hence I have little influence over anything important, however I spread the word with colleagues when I can. It’s astounding how tolerant medics are until it affects us personally.
Try to keep going.
Where tolerant means gaslighting people and further cementing psychological confusions, unfortunately. I had no clue this would hit our family but I refused to call girls around us "he" even when mothers were trying to get me to do it. I'd say "your kid" or something.
I totally agree. Unfortunately many of my colleagues seem to be completely naive and believe that they are doing the best for people. Some have doubts, but many are as infected by wokeness as the rest of the human race seems to be. It's only when I share my story with them, that they realise that my trans-identifying son is not 'happy'. He is miserable, depressed , broke, homeless and a drug addict since he has declared his new identity. He has been raped twice and nearly murdered.
I am so sorry. I agree that natural compassion has been taken advantage of and I think that is because the narrative/language has been strictly controlled. We must change that.