Trans: The Deal with the Devil

Hello.  I’m Dr. Lucifer.  That’s right - I am the devil himself.  But don’t be scared, dear child, my bad reputation has been greatly exaggerated!  I’m not the fire and brimstone kind of devil - I’m the devil that loves to make deals.  I can make your dreams of happiness come true…for a price.  Maybe you don’t believe in the devil?  I don’t mind - I accommodate believers and non-believers alike.  Let’s talk.

Tell me your concerns.  Perhaps you are feeling lonely, or you don’t have many friends, or puberty has been difficult, or you have been abused, or you have been told you have any number of psychological conditions? Or you are attracted to your same sex, but you refuse to believe you’re gay?  Well, you’ve come to the right place.  In my role as a gender doctor, I can fix all of that.  The solution is simple - identify as trans!  Let me tell you about all the exciting changes you will experience.

You’ll have friends!  That’s right - you'll instantly have a close group of friends who all understand you and are all just like you!  Or at least, they are all trans.  Here is the list of your new friends.  Actually, they are all clients of mine.  You can talk to them if you have any doubts about my services.  They will start by celebrating your new identity.  In my world, we call this “love bombing”.  You’ll love it!  Then you can meet with them regularly and share the joy of being trans.

You’ll have a new identity!  You’ll have a new name, new clothes, and even new body parts!  How awesome is that!  You probably don’t like your old self, so chuck it into the recycle bin, and I’ll mix in some magic ingredients, and out will come the new you!

How exciting!

You’ll be edgy and woke!  You’ll get to use lots of new words, almost like a new language!  You can look down your nose at those who don’t understand.  You can talk about your new rights, and the miraculous journey you’ve completed, with my help, of course.

Now you never get something for nothing!  It’s time to discuss the terms of our deal.  Since I’m the devil (but you can always call me “doctor”), I want your soul.  If you don’t believe in souls, I’ll teach you how everyone has a “gendered” soul, so of course you have a soul, and I want it.  But that’s not all.

As one of my earthly minions says, I'm not asking much. Just a token really, a trifle.  I want…your fertility.  Forever.  That’s right!  You’ll be sterile.  No babies will be created from your loins.  Now my clinic likes to say, “It is strongly recommended that you store sperm/eggs, if you can, before starting estrogen/testosterone therapy, since it can result in permanent sterility.” But that may or may not really work, and there’s a small chance you can regain your fertility, but probably not.  So, while some people try to have their own children and can’t, you won’t even get the chance to have children naturally.  But you never want children anyway, right?  So, it’s a win-win!  Just remember:  You don’t get to change your mind.

But I’m not done.  I want more.  I want…your parents.  Well, I don’t really want THEM, but as part of our deal, you must cut your parents out of your life.  Completely. I call it “going no contact”.  This isolation from your family is an important requirement of our contract.  Remember that time you lost a balloon at your 8-year-old birthday party, and your dad found it and you cried, “Daddy fixed it”?  Forget that memory, and any others like it.  Yeah, it’s true your mom and dad love you to a depth you can’t begin to comprehend.  Your parents never give up on you.  They are there for you.  They want the best for you.  But dumping your parents will not be as hard as you think because once you become trans, you will actually want to cut them out of your life.  It will be entirely your idea.  And you can cut out the rest of your family too!

And if you’re under 18, some countries and US states will actually help you ditch your family.  I have helpful servants everywhere!  They take the form of clueless teachers and counselors, child protective services, and others.  If one of my servants hasn’t given you instructions about this, let’s review.  Start by keeping secrets, and then move onto lying.  Go to an LGBTQXYZ meeting and don’t tell your parents.  Pick a new name and try it out with your friends, in secret of course.  Then, if you go to school, insist that everyone at school use your new name and gender, and keep it all secret from your parents.  My servants working as teachers and counselors can help you with that.  Tell your parents everything is great!  If you can, don’t even tell them about seeing me!  When you make your big trans announcement, you can then tell your parents how they have ruined your life and proceed to ditch them.  Now since I’m the devil, I will make deals.  If your parents or other members of your family are “all in” with your new identity and support gender ideology, you can consider keeping them around.   (Note to Reader - Gender ideology has been my best gig in many years for acquiring souls, sterilizing and injuring children, destroying families, and just spreading pain and misery everywhere - all with societal approval -  so I consider parental support of gender ideology an investment in my future returns.)

Let’s keep going - I want even more.  What did you expect?  It’s not as bad as it sounds.

I want….your health.  The list of all the long-term side-effects and dangers of hormones and surgeries is long and frankly rather boring.  We all have health issues, someday, right?  But here are the side effects and damage I know about today:  Cognitive impairment, brain damage, autoimmune disease, diabetes, thyroid cancer, breast cancer, cardiovascular risk, pancreatitis, osteoporosis, early onset dementia, and probably a few others.  So boring, right?  Well, there are many short-term side effects you might have: Urinary incontinence and infections, weight gain, acne, hair loss, hot flashes, headaches, mood changes, and depression.  Did I mention I'm also taking away any meaningful sexual function?  That's right - no fun in the bedroom for you.  And you’ll never completely look normal.  But it’s all worth it because you’ll be trans!

There’s one final thing I want…your life.  Now with all those long-term side effects, your risk of dying early goes way up.  And the risk of suicide skyrockets - 3 fold, 6 fold, 19 fold - it depends which study you look at.  So, one way or another, I get your life much earlier than normal.  But that’s all in the distant future, so don’t worry about it.

I know some of these things might sound scary, but when you are trans, you take the gender ideology oath: “Everyone is better trans, and all the physical and emotional pain and damage to my body is worth it.”  Remember that drugs and surgeries are required if you want to be trans, and you must always have a future surgery scheduled in your endless journey.  If you ever have doubts, you must ignore those doubts and simply believe.  All the pain and suffering are a test of your faith in gender ideology and in me, Dr. Lucifer.  You must believe.  You can reach me just about anywhere, for as the devil, I am present in all gender doctors.  And when you become trans, I’ll want you to recruit others to also be trans, and help others with cutting out their parents, and some of the other requirements for being trans.  Note that if you ever change your mind, don’t come to me - it’s bad for my business.

I know you want this, and I’m here to help you, as I’ve helped so many people in the past.  Please note that some governments are starting to wise up and have passed laws to stop my wheeling and dealing, so let’s get started right away!  I am the devil, but you can call me doctor, and I’m ready to make a deal.  I’ll write a prescription today and be your guide to the rest of your life.  Don’t wait another minute!