I sat in an uncomfortable chair, my body hunched over her bedside as I held her hand to give her strength. Her eyes, normally vacant, looked directly into mine, pleading. She squeezed my hand. She let out a small cry of pain. I smoothed her hair off of her forehead to soothe her: “It’s going to be OK, I promise you. Be strong for a few minutes longer. We are getting you some medication so it won’t hurt anymore.”
Thank you for sharing your story. It is a blessing to know that others have walked through this same grief, as we all know it is so isolating. I’m so sorry for your pain, and I understand, as so many here do. I had to bring in hospice the day before this was published. Couldn’t bring myself to comment until now.
I pray that all of our children will break free and come back to the parents who are grieving for them and keeping a vigil.
Such a poignant post. How utterly naive of those who succumbs to the gender cult to ingest dangerous wrong sex hormones or amputate healthy body parts. I share your hope that "the medication never arrives" for your daughter. At 19, my son's "medication" (wrong sex hormones) was prescribed on his first visit to Planned Plarenthood (Planned Dysfunction/Sterility) Your daughter is lucky to have you by her side keeping your loving vigil. I hope you have a better outcome. Of course, I keep vigil as well for my son to someday find his way out of this madness.
Not sure where 'souls' come in! What part of the body are they?
Not everyone is Christian.
Aren't Christians supposed to be compassionate and loving and turn the other cheek?
If someone wants to live their life in the opposite sex to that allocated at birth, and this is a derp conviction rather than a phase in their life influenced by propaganda and identity confusion, then let them alone.
It's a hard enough card to have been dealt without religious dogma, purely subjective, and which can easily become out and out prejudice and discrimination, being aimed at them. Not everyone is Christian. It's just one point if view.
I'm in the UK. I'm finding words like 'evil' a bit hard to take and very much an overly emotional reaction.
I don't think any of this stuff happening to young people is good. I don't think 50 gender clinics in the US is good.
But being trans is not evil. A small minority if people are. Accept it. I don't understand the US healthcare system. I have no idea if the doctors advising children are 'evil'. Do they genuinely think a these children presenting as trans really are?
My concern is non-trans kids who get sucked in to believing they are trans thru' s. media & peer pressure.
As a parent my heart would have been broken too if I felt my child was going to have unnecessary surgery.
But I do accept that a small minority of kids will be trans, just as a greater minority will be gay or bisexual. I don't think a man can become a woman in the trues biological sense.
But no harm is done to anyone if a person feels happier living as the opposite sex. And they do not require prejudice and bigotry.
You are obviously very angry. Please try not to take it out on trans people. They do exist, and always have done. Let them be. Do not subject them to ugly , cruel prejudice. Please.
Watch the TV interview between Michael Palin and Jan Morris. Joyous. She did no harm to anyone.
I'm much more concerned by the propaganda that is affecting young people who are not trans, but who have been persuaded that they are. This is dangerous. As you say, and acknowledged in the Cass Report, may have confusion around sexuality, and other conditions which cause identity confusion. This is where energy and consciousness raising is needed.
James/"Jan" Morris compelled his wife to accept his selfish decision because she had no independent income and simply could not leave him. He forced his children to go along with his delusion. He forced the entire family to move to Wales.
I'm sorry but "Jan" Morris was an extremely selfish man.
Some people are trans. Please let them be, and examine your own bigotry.
I am concerned, not by trans people, but by the number of young people being drawn into this 'trend' who are not trans, and are confused and vulnerable. And are going to make a huge mistake.
Also the ridiculous and dangerous placing of self-identified men into women's prisons in the UK. 40% of these people are sex offenders, and women are being sexually assaulted.
But these issues are not the same. There are lots of desperate issues of concern. In my opinion you are lumping everything that is going on into one mass of distress.
Have you actually read anything by Jan Morris? Or seen her TV interview with Michael Palin? I found it joyful. Why insult who she was?
Wow... My daughter and I have almost no contact, mainly her choice but also because she lives 850 miles away. She’s been taking testosterone for several months and is scheduled for top surgery in January. Had I not been reminded that God is indeed with us in this fire, I would have no hope. Thank you for sharing your experience with us.
No you are wrong. People can be born into a 'wrong' body. Evidence is incontrovertible. What about the writer Jan Morris, formerly James Morris? She eventually knew she had to transition and lived the last year's of her life as a woman. Interestingly, she described herself as part man and part woman, rather than believing she was biologically a woman.
I'm wondering if religious belief can make this very hard to accept?
We have always had trans people in the world. Denying their existence is cruel and discriminatory.
But many young people are now being sucked in by e.g. social media and peers to believe they are trans when they are likely to have different, undiagnosed, issues like e.g. autism, may be gay, identity confusion. mental health issues, etc.
Yes, I realize there have been trans people for years; in fact, I used to think this was genetically transferred, as I had been a zealous Tomboy as a young girl, and my mother had been a Tomboy too.
But my daughter was as girly girl as you can get, for all her childhood - up until she wanted to “fit in” with her middle/high school girl group who almost all decided they were trans. It was also online influenced, Cosplay influenced, Tumblr, Reddit and DeviantArt influenced, and yes, Autistic spectrum, mental health and trauma influenced, etc. And not questioned by her father, my ex, who just wanted to be the “cool” dad, the friend, not a protective father.
I was not like that at all - I really did want to “be” a boy in every way - I had an older brother - (including the extra body parts!), but as I closed in on puberty, I had mad crushes on boys and men, and subsequently became “boy crazy”. My wanting to be a boy started to fade, but I still wanted to be as strong as a boy. I still wanted to do what boys did. I still retained my masculine tendencies, and blended them with the feminine, and that became part of my personality. I am still that way to this day. Tough yet feminine. I like to fix broken things and wear nail polish and makeup. I like wearing pants and rarely wear a dress. Etc. I dated around (more like a guy than a woman), but married and had a child when I felt ready.
I was not religious enough to let that color my views. So I just think of my own childhood when I see trans people, and have the ability to understand, since I know that if I had been born decades later than I was - I would probably have been swept up into trans life - whether by my own doing or by someone else’s.
Yes, sometimes I used to feel like I was born in the wrong body, when I was a kid - but now I know that wasn’t/isn’t the case. I thoroughly enjoy being a woman - despite society’s patriarchal downfalls. I’m definitely attracted to men, and that’s been the case since I first saw David Cassidy or Donny Osmond! And the cute boy in 7th grade... 😍
But my daughter... identifying as a male, he/they pronouns, a male name, binding all the time - is now knitting winter hats, making jewelry, wearing skirts over pants... I dare say she’s feminizing herself and might not be trans at all...
I’m just glad I’m not a man. But I might throw a football like one, or fight like one (in a defensive situation only!)! 😌
I got way off topic, but I just wanted to clarify my own experience.
I just think a lot of trans people are homophobic - they’re trying to cover up their sexual orientation. And a lot of the time it backfires, if they didn’t start young. It varies with individuals.
I think we are all mostly born in the right body, and have a variety of personalities, and can be LGB (sexuality), sometimes T (AGP, AAP, and /or wanting to appear as the opposite sex) - but always human beings. And basically biological males or females. Like most other mammals.
I lost my mother to Lewy Body Dementia (which is similar to Alzheimer’s) several years ago, and also Parkinson’s, and my daughter to the trans cult, and yep, she lives with her dense affirming father too. My only wonderful mother is gone and my only child is still alive, but not herself. It is like a death. I grieve and have grieved for them both. I am barely clinging to the sliver of hope that my daughter will also mature out of this madness and stop being a ghost. I can’t believe the callousness of both her and her father. Ostracizing me is the cruelest, harshest pain I’ve ever experienced. But I know it’s not my fault, that she was sucked into this horrible situation by online and in real life groomers and idiotic trans influencers, as well as so-called friends. I watch and wait, biting my tongue, which is getting harder to do by the minute. I need some primal scream therapy.
The Biden administration is getting ready to argue that taxpayer dollars should be used to pay for children to undergo so-called “gender transitions.”
According to Health and Human Services Secretary Xavier Becerra, the Biden administration believes that “all children and adults should be afforded life-saving, medically necessary care” and “payers, both public and private, should cover treatments which medical experts have determined to be medically necessary.”
Becerra revealed this position in written testimony to Rep. Mary Miller (R-Ill.), which was obtained by The Daily Caller.
This position signals that the Biden administration is prepared to go after states that are protecting children from chemical castration and surgical mutilation at the same time other countries—like the United Kingdom, Sweden, and France—are no longer embracing the practice due to the permanent negative health effects these so-called treatments cause.
Recent polling suggests that a plurality of Americans oppose transgender treatments for minors.
“Biden’s HHS Secretary has now confirmed that the Biden Administration is using taxpayer dollars to push young children to have sex change operations and take dangerous chemicals that do permanent damage to their bodies. The Biden Administration even supports allowing these procedures to occur without parental consent. American taxpayer dollars should never fund puberty blockers and sex change surgeries on minor children,” Rep. Miller said in a statement to the Daily Caller.
This ends when the liberals of America finally decide to stop voting for it. Maybe that means staying home with withholding your support. If that's all you can do, do it. Maybe it means voting for a Congressional candidate that you disagree with on everything else, because that candidate is willing to fight the trans cult. If you can bring yourself to do that, do it.
Conservatives are already voting against this stuff. It's not enough. We just don't have tha cultural power that you liberals and progressives do. So this only ends when a fraction of the liberals (with American elections so close, it doesn't have to be that large) finally refuse to vote for it anymore. Is it important enough to you to become a single issue voter?
I've been a single issue voter for about 5 years now. I agree with you. But, we also need strong candidates to vote for. I'd like to see more like Ron DeSantis and Tulsi Gabbard. I hope that attorney Harmeet Dhillon will become the RNC Chair.
By contrast, in South Dakota Republican Governor Kristi Noem failed to sign legislation that would have protected children from "trans medicine". I think there might have been similar obstruction in ID and UT? In CA Republicans backed the nutter that is Bruce Jenner for governor. Then, there are the WSJ editorial board types who want to "stay out of the culture wars". I have no patience for "conservatives" who want to back businesses or advertisers who support child pornography to transing kids - or who fail to speak out on this issue as so many do. Hurrah for Elon Musk! Lets hope Disney stays in its lane. I think there are Republicans in FL who want DeSantis to restore Disney's special privileges.
EXACTLY. I have to admit that I struggle mightily with expressing sympathy for those that experience this trans bs, fentanyl poisoning or can’t pay their bills. If you vote for democrats, I have ZERO, NIL, NADA sympathy for you. Tough shit, live with it. 🤷♀️
So heartfelt, so tragic to lose both your mother to alzheimers and your daughter to trans. I pray that your daughter become one of the maney destransitioners who realise the insanity of the trans lifestyle.
Beautiful piece. But besides the issue of medication, there's another BIG difference between these two scenarios:
With the elderly Alzheimers patient, you have real sympathy and true support from your friends, your community, the doctors, and the nurses.
With the gender-questioning teen, the parent gets zero sympathy for struggling and grieving. In fact, you are supposed to cheerlead this or you will be shunned by your entire community.
You have to suffer in private. You can't even let your kid know how painful this is for you, the parent.
Thank you for sharing your story. It is a blessing to know that others have walked through this same grief, as we all know it is so isolating. I’m so sorry for your pain, and I understand, as so many here do. I had to bring in hospice the day before this was published. Couldn’t bring myself to comment until now.
I pray that all of our children will break free and come back to the parents who are grieving for them and keeping a vigil.
Such a poignant post. How utterly naive of those who succumbs to the gender cult to ingest dangerous wrong sex hormones or amputate healthy body parts. I share your hope that "the medication never arrives" for your daughter. At 19, my son's "medication" (wrong sex hormones) was prescribed on his first visit to Planned Plarenthood (Planned Dysfunction/Sterility) Your daughter is lucky to have you by her side keeping your loving vigil. I hope you have a better outcome. Of course, I keep vigil as well for my son to someday find his way out of this madness.
So Xstianity is right and everyone else is wrong. I thought Jesus preached tolerance?
Tolerance suggests a potential return to normality or status quo. After trans meds and surgeries, that future is changed forever.
You are very angry. I wish you all the best in peace.
Brilliant story. I agree!
Not sure where 'souls' come in! What part of the body are they?
Not everyone is Christian.
Aren't Christians supposed to be compassionate and loving and turn the other cheek?
If someone wants to live their life in the opposite sex to that allocated at birth, and this is a derp conviction rather than a phase in their life influenced by propaganda and identity confusion, then let them alone.
It's a hard enough card to have been dealt without religious dogma, purely subjective, and which can easily become out and out prejudice and discrimination, being aimed at them. Not everyone is Christian. It's just one point if view.
Tolerance towards all!
I'm in the UK. I'm finding words like 'evil' a bit hard to take and very much an overly emotional reaction.
I don't think any of this stuff happening to young people is good. I don't think 50 gender clinics in the US is good.
But being trans is not evil. A small minority if people are. Accept it. I don't understand the US healthcare system. I have no idea if the doctors advising children are 'evil'. Do they genuinely think a these children presenting as trans really are?
My concern is non-trans kids who get sucked in to believing they are trans thru' s. media & peer pressure.
As a parent my heart would have been broken too if I felt my child was going to have unnecessary surgery.
But I do accept that a small minority of kids will be trans, just as a greater minority will be gay or bisexual. I don't think a man can become a woman in the trues biological sense.
But no harm is done to anyone if a person feels happier living as the opposite sex. And they do not require prejudice and bigotry.
You are obviously very angry. Please try not to take it out on trans people. They do exist, and always have done. Let them be. Do not subject them to ugly , cruel prejudice. Please.
Watch the TV interview between Michael Palin and Jan Morris. Joyous. She did no harm to anyone.
I'm much more concerned by the propaganda that is affecting young people who are not trans, but who have been persuaded that they are. This is dangerous. As you say, and acknowledged in the Cass Report, may have confusion around sexuality, and other conditions which cause identity confusion. This is where energy and consciousness raising is needed.
James/"Jan" Morris compelled his wife to accept his selfish decision because she had no independent income and simply could not leave him. He forced his children to go along with his delusion. He forced the entire family to move to Wales.
I'm sorry but "Jan" Morris was an extremely selfish man.
That selfishness IS EVIL. He stole the life of each member of his family to a lesser or greater extent.
You are obviously a very angry person.
I feel for you.
Some people are trans. Please let them be, and examine your own bigotry.
I am concerned, not by trans people, but by the number of young people being drawn into this 'trend' who are not trans, and are confused and vulnerable. And are going to make a huge mistake.
Also the ridiculous and dangerous placing of self-identified men into women's prisons in the UK. 40% of these people are sex offenders, and women are being sexually assaulted.
But these issues are not the same. There are lots of desperate issues of concern. In my opinion you are lumping everything that is going on into one mass of distress.
Have you actually read anything by Jan Morris? Or seen her TV interview with Michael Palin? I found it joyful. Why insult who she was?
I hope things become easier for you.
Wow... My daughter and I have almost no contact, mainly her choice but also because she lives 850 miles away. She’s been taking testosterone for several months and is scheduled for top surgery in January. Had I not been reminded that God is indeed with us in this fire, I would have no hope. Thank you for sharing your experience with us.
No you are wrong. People can be born into a 'wrong' body. Evidence is incontrovertible. What about the writer Jan Morris, formerly James Morris? She eventually knew she had to transition and lived the last year's of her life as a woman. Interestingly, she described herself as part man and part woman, rather than believing she was biologically a woman.
I'm wondering if religious belief can make this very hard to accept?
We have always had trans people in the world. Denying their existence is cruel and discriminatory.
But many young people are now being sucked in by e.g. social media and peers to believe they are trans when they are likely to have different, undiagnosed, issues like e.g. autism, may be gay, identity confusion. mental health issues, etc.
Yes, I realize there have been trans people for years; in fact, I used to think this was genetically transferred, as I had been a zealous Tomboy as a young girl, and my mother had been a Tomboy too.
But my daughter was as girly girl as you can get, for all her childhood - up until she wanted to “fit in” with her middle/high school girl group who almost all decided they were trans. It was also online influenced, Cosplay influenced, Tumblr, Reddit and DeviantArt influenced, and yes, Autistic spectrum, mental health and trauma influenced, etc. And not questioned by her father, my ex, who just wanted to be the “cool” dad, the friend, not a protective father.
I was not like that at all - I really did want to “be” a boy in every way - I had an older brother - (including the extra body parts!), but as I closed in on puberty, I had mad crushes on boys and men, and subsequently became “boy crazy”. My wanting to be a boy started to fade, but I still wanted to be as strong as a boy. I still wanted to do what boys did. I still retained my masculine tendencies, and blended them with the feminine, and that became part of my personality. I am still that way to this day. Tough yet feminine. I like to fix broken things and wear nail polish and makeup. I like wearing pants and rarely wear a dress. Etc. I dated around (more like a guy than a woman), but married and had a child when I felt ready.
I was not religious enough to let that color my views. So I just think of my own childhood when I see trans people, and have the ability to understand, since I know that if I had been born decades later than I was - I would probably have been swept up into trans life - whether by my own doing or by someone else’s.
Yes, sometimes I used to feel like I was born in the wrong body, when I was a kid - but now I know that wasn’t/isn’t the case. I thoroughly enjoy being a woman - despite society’s patriarchal downfalls. I’m definitely attracted to men, and that’s been the case since I first saw David Cassidy or Donny Osmond! And the cute boy in 7th grade... 😍
But my daughter... identifying as a male, he/they pronouns, a male name, binding all the time - is now knitting winter hats, making jewelry, wearing skirts over pants... I dare say she’s feminizing herself and might not be trans at all...
I’m just glad I’m not a man. But I might throw a football like one, or fight like one (in a defensive situation only!)! 😌
I got way off topic, but I just wanted to clarify my own experience.
I just think a lot of trans people are homophobic - they’re trying to cover up their sexual orientation. And a lot of the time it backfires, if they didn’t start young. It varies with individuals.
I think we are all mostly born in the right body, and have a variety of personalities, and can be LGB (sexuality), sometimes T (AGP, AAP, and /or wanting to appear as the opposite sex) - but always human beings. And basically biological males or females. Like most other mammals.
I lost my mother to Lewy Body Dementia (which is similar to Alzheimer’s) several years ago, and also Parkinson’s, and my daughter to the trans cult, and yep, she lives with her dense affirming father too. My only wonderful mother is gone and my only child is still alive, but not herself. It is like a death. I grieve and have grieved for them both. I am barely clinging to the sliver of hope that my daughter will also mature out of this madness and stop being a ghost. I can’t believe the callousness of both her and her father. Ostracizing me is the cruelest, harshest pain I’ve ever experienced. But I know it’s not my fault, that she was sucked into this horrible situation by online and in real life groomers and idiotic trans influencers, as well as so-called friends. I watch and wait, biting my tongue, which is getting harder to do by the minute. I need some primal scream therapy.
You are right to be incensed by the TRA manipulators. Stay honest and strong. You are right.
I hope someone is stroking your hair in this insanity. My tears are for all us caretakers.
The White House is doubling down:
"The Biden Administration Wants Taxpayers to Pay for Transgender Child Mutilation"
https://pjmedia.com/news-and-politics/matt-margolis/2022/12/05/the-biden-administration-wants-taxpayers-to-pay-for-transgender-child-mutilation-n1650915
The Biden administration is getting ready to argue that taxpayer dollars should be used to pay for children to undergo so-called “gender transitions.”
According to Health and Human Services Secretary Xavier Becerra, the Biden administration believes that “all children and adults should be afforded life-saving, medically necessary care” and “payers, both public and private, should cover treatments which medical experts have determined to be medically necessary.”
Becerra revealed this position in written testimony to Rep. Mary Miller (R-Ill.), which was obtained by The Daily Caller.
This position signals that the Biden administration is prepared to go after states that are protecting children from chemical castration and surgical mutilation at the same time other countries—like the United Kingdom, Sweden, and France—are no longer embracing the practice due to the permanent negative health effects these so-called treatments cause.
Recent polling suggests that a plurality of Americans oppose transgender treatments for minors.
“Biden’s HHS Secretary has now confirmed that the Biden Administration is using taxpayer dollars to push young children to have sex change operations and take dangerous chemicals that do permanent damage to their bodies. The Biden Administration even supports allowing these procedures to occur without parental consent. American taxpayer dollars should never fund puberty blockers and sex change surgeries on minor children,” Rep. Miller said in a statement to the Daily Caller.
This ends when the liberals of America finally decide to stop voting for it. Maybe that means staying home with withholding your support. If that's all you can do, do it. Maybe it means voting for a Congressional candidate that you disagree with on everything else, because that candidate is willing to fight the trans cult. If you can bring yourself to do that, do it.
Conservatives are already voting against this stuff. It's not enough. We just don't have tha cultural power that you liberals and progressives do. So this only ends when a fraction of the liberals (with American elections so close, it doesn't have to be that large) finally refuse to vote for it anymore. Is it important enough to you to become a single issue voter?
I've been a single issue voter for about 5 years now. I agree with you. But, we also need strong candidates to vote for. I'd like to see more like Ron DeSantis and Tulsi Gabbard. I hope that attorney Harmeet Dhillon will become the RNC Chair.
By contrast, in South Dakota Republican Governor Kristi Noem failed to sign legislation that would have protected children from "trans medicine". I think there might have been similar obstruction in ID and UT? In CA Republicans backed the nutter that is Bruce Jenner for governor. Then, there are the WSJ editorial board types who want to "stay out of the culture wars". I have no patience for "conservatives" who want to back businesses or advertisers who support child pornography to transing kids - or who fail to speak out on this issue as so many do. Hurrah for Elon Musk! Lets hope Disney stays in its lane. I think there are Republicans in FL who want DeSantis to restore Disney's special privileges.
I agree with your entire comment.
EXACTLY. I have to admit that I struggle mightily with expressing sympathy for those that experience this trans bs, fentanyl poisoning or can’t pay their bills. If you vote for democrats, I have ZERO, NIL, NADA sympathy for you. Tough shit, live with it. 🤷♀️
These people are freaking EVIL
So heartfelt, so tragic to lose both your mother to alzheimers and your daughter to trans. I pray that your daughter become one of the maney destransitioners who realise the insanity of the trans lifestyle.
Beautiful piece. But besides the issue of medication, there's another BIG difference between these two scenarios:
With the elderly Alzheimers patient, you have real sympathy and true support from your friends, your community, the doctors, and the nurses.
With the gender-questioning teen, the parent gets zero sympathy for struggling and grieving. In fact, you are supposed to cheerlead this or you will be shunned by your entire community.
You have to suffer in private. You can't even let your kid know how painful this is for you, the parent.