I have an earnest question for all the parents out there who are Christian and struggling with this; do we pretend? Is that really love to use the pronouns and the fake name and pretend all is well? I do not think that is love...its a lie, to me anyway, and I refuse to lie.
But as this past Thanksgiving proved to me--with everyone around …
I have an earnest question for all the parents out there who are Christian and struggling with this; do we pretend? Is that really love to use the pronouns and the fake name and pretend all is well? I do not think that is love...its a lie, to me anyway, and I refuse to lie.
But as this past Thanksgiving proved to me--with everyone around me either drunk or high, that I am living with people who think I am a hypocrite, a fake Christian and all who blatantly think I am now a joke, a bad parent and a bad person.
I am married to man who drove our daughter to be butchered, who tries in earnest to say all the right things, and has a silent judgment against me for not joining him....this has, like Trump, just exposed the rift in our marriage, not caused it.
I have been told about _______________insert topic here, that I am an ideologue, cannot discern fact from fiction, believe whatever the orange man tells me, am wrong on all things and silently, told I should join in the rest of the family---do as they do, believe as they believe....and I am sit here realizing today that it is not ever going to happen.
I think in most ways my faith has strengthened in the last four years--however I have a silent manifest in my spirit of how much longer do I live this way? Not respected, though at its core I just want to be heard and valued, not listened to, as if I nothing I say is intelligent or thought out or researched enough to listen to what I think, and at the core--to not be loved....my pain and needs ignored? At what point do I either tire and give up trying to fit in a square hole OR at what point am a helpless victim of staying where I dont think I can say or do anything?
I spoke with a neighbor down the street--he knows about my daughter, my husband and with him being elderly he walks a lot-and yesterday he stopped to ask me how I was, how I felt with the election over....I updated him, and he said this " I just come home and sit down and be silent...with two girls and my wife I have learned to say nothing"....I FELT that in my bones...I have learned too--to say nothing, to have no needs, thoughts beyond vapid musings, to avoid conflict with man who hated Trump, with daughters who do not believe, with an extended family who cannot gather without getting drunk or high...I am alone at the utmost, rejected in every way I feel and on my worst days I lose hope that will change. On days where I have been to church, prayed or seem calmer and more focused I think if I keep praying I will have an answer...but overall I am lonely and in pain if I allow myself to focus on what I see.
I have learned this one thing---when in church, while reading a Bonhoeffer book or the bible, or listening to praise songs I have a reprieve of sorts...but it doesnt seem to last and that is what bothers me. I cant be alone much longer--and the voices I hear on this forum are no longer enough--I think I will join a church group on my own--I need to be around others who think like I do, or at least are open to discussions...to seek others who are not closed minded and yell others into silence. I am tired of being alone.
So--everyone reading this--AM I WRONG to not pretend? I dont think I am.
God help us parents here...we need help and answers and a movement of God that hasnt yet happend yet....I pray now for revival. Please Lord....I cant change anything but I know the holy spirit can.
WE are NOT wrong to NOT support and NOT use the pronouns. To do that would be to deny GOD'S CREATION. We cannot do that!
Some encouragement...
I am also surrounded by persons who say I am crazy or are angry about my politics ("Trump-loving B*") and/ or condemn and turn their backs on my child... "it's HER fault we don't show her love" (coming from "Christians"). I have been praying 4 years since my age 24 DAUGHTER said she is trans and I have not seen much change in her (still injecting testosterone and planning for other changes), but I have seen change in my angry husband... and I believe he is changing "for GOOD/ for GOD".
So DO NOT GIVE UP!
This song was given to me this morning (by God) as I was contemplating this reply: (The Words I Would Say, By Sidewalk Prophets)
"Be strong in the Lord and never give up hope
You're gonna do great things I already know
God's got His hand on you, so don't live life in fear
Forgive and forget but don't forget why you're here
Take your time and pray
Thank God for each day
His love will find a way
These are the words I would say (the words I would say)"
ALSO, this BIBLE VERSE has been HOLDING ME UP this past couple weeks:
When I said, "My foot is slipping", your love, O Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, Your consolation brought JOY to my soul." Psalm 94:18-19
GOD IS WITH US... WE ARE A PART OF HIS STORY... HE IS MAKING US STRONGER AND BRINGING US CLOSER TO HIMSELF... AND HE WILL GET US THROUGH THIS. ❤️🙏🙏🙏LOVE,,
P.S. I also feel stronger while reading my Bible and in devotions and prayer "with God"... those are critically necessary!! But I encourage you to find a good Bible-believing church. I have a lot of people in my church praying for me/ us... even resulted in starting a weekly "Prodigal Prayer Group" for all our children/ grandchilren/ relative prodigals. Although I know they cannot fully comprehend my specific situation and the pain I feel (ours is a whole different universe than having a child who just no longer goes to church), I think my "fellowship" there is key... they are my "support network" when I absolutely cannot pick myself up and go on (times when I feel worthless in this world!)... I cry out for prayers, they pray, and I am stronger!!
"Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart, all you who HOPE in the Lord." Psalms 31:24
"Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted." Matthew 5:4
You have no idea how badly I needed to hear this; I feel alone in a dark room with no one listening to me--my entire family does not agree with me. Thank you for this answer... I am starting to see that I need to find a place in our church-and disregard what happens when my husband clashes with others...It has not been good for me to be alone in this. Thank you Susan and prayers your way and prayers for me that I find where I need to be.
[9] Two are better than one, Because they have a good reward for their labor. [10] For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, For he has no one to help him up. [11] Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm; But how can one be warm alone? [12] Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken. 🙏🙏🙏❤️
I have an earnest question for all the parents out there who are Christian and struggling with this; do we pretend? Is that really love to use the pronouns and the fake name and pretend all is well? I do not think that is love...its a lie, to me anyway, and I refuse to lie.
But as this past Thanksgiving proved to me--with everyone around me either drunk or high, that I am living with people who think I am a hypocrite, a fake Christian and all who blatantly think I am now a joke, a bad parent and a bad person.
I am married to man who drove our daughter to be butchered, who tries in earnest to say all the right things, and has a silent judgment against me for not joining him....this has, like Trump, just exposed the rift in our marriage, not caused it.
I have been told about _______________insert topic here, that I am an ideologue, cannot discern fact from fiction, believe whatever the orange man tells me, am wrong on all things and silently, told I should join in the rest of the family---do as they do, believe as they believe....and I am sit here realizing today that it is not ever going to happen.
I think in most ways my faith has strengthened in the last four years--however I have a silent manifest in my spirit of how much longer do I live this way? Not respected, though at its core I just want to be heard and valued, not listened to, as if I nothing I say is intelligent or thought out or researched enough to listen to what I think, and at the core--to not be loved....my pain and needs ignored? At what point do I either tire and give up trying to fit in a square hole OR at what point am a helpless victim of staying where I dont think I can say or do anything?
I spoke with a neighbor down the street--he knows about my daughter, my husband and with him being elderly he walks a lot-and yesterday he stopped to ask me how I was, how I felt with the election over....I updated him, and he said this " I just come home and sit down and be silent...with two girls and my wife I have learned to say nothing"....I FELT that in my bones...I have learned too--to say nothing, to have no needs, thoughts beyond vapid musings, to avoid conflict with man who hated Trump, with daughters who do not believe, with an extended family who cannot gather without getting drunk or high...I am alone at the utmost, rejected in every way I feel and on my worst days I lose hope that will change. On days where I have been to church, prayed or seem calmer and more focused I think if I keep praying I will have an answer...but overall I am lonely and in pain if I allow myself to focus on what I see.
I have learned this one thing---when in church, while reading a Bonhoeffer book or the bible, or listening to praise songs I have a reprieve of sorts...but it doesnt seem to last and that is what bothers me. I cant be alone much longer--and the voices I hear on this forum are no longer enough--I think I will join a church group on my own--I need to be around others who think like I do, or at least are open to discussions...to seek others who are not closed minded and yell others into silence. I am tired of being alone.
So--everyone reading this--AM I WRONG to not pretend? I dont think I am.
God help us parents here...we need help and answers and a movement of God that hasnt yet happend yet....I pray now for revival. Please Lord....I cant change anything but I know the holy spirit can.
WE are NOT wrong to NOT support and NOT use the pronouns. To do that would be to deny GOD'S CREATION. We cannot do that!
Some encouragement...
I am also surrounded by persons who say I am crazy or are angry about my politics ("Trump-loving B*") and/ or condemn and turn their backs on my child... "it's HER fault we don't show her love" (coming from "Christians"). I have been praying 4 years since my age 24 DAUGHTER said she is trans and I have not seen much change in her (still injecting testosterone and planning for other changes), but I have seen change in my angry husband... and I believe he is changing "for GOOD/ for GOD".
So DO NOT GIVE UP!
This song was given to me this morning (by God) as I was contemplating this reply: (The Words I Would Say, By Sidewalk Prophets)
"Be strong in the Lord and never give up hope
You're gonna do great things I already know
God's got His hand on you, so don't live life in fear
Forgive and forget but don't forget why you're here
Take your time and pray
Thank God for each day
His love will find a way
These are the words I would say (the words I would say)"
ALSO, this BIBLE VERSE has been HOLDING ME UP this past couple weeks:
When I said, "My foot is slipping", your love, O Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, Your consolation brought JOY to my soul." Psalm 94:18-19
GOD IS WITH US... WE ARE A PART OF HIS STORY... HE IS MAKING US STRONGER AND BRINGING US CLOSER TO HIMSELF... AND HE WILL GET US THROUGH THIS. ❤️🙏🙏🙏LOVE,,
P.S. I also feel stronger while reading my Bible and in devotions and prayer "with God"... those are critically necessary!! But I encourage you to find a good Bible-believing church. I have a lot of people in my church praying for me/ us... even resulted in starting a weekly "Prodigal Prayer Group" for all our children/ grandchilren/ relative prodigals. Although I know they cannot fully comprehend my specific situation and the pain I feel (ours is a whole different universe than having a child who just no longer goes to church), I think my "fellowship" there is key... they are my "support network" when I absolutely cannot pick myself up and go on (times when I feel worthless in this world!)... I cry out for prayers, they pray, and I am stronger!!
"Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart, all you who HOPE in the Lord." Psalms 31:24
"Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted." Matthew 5:4
You have no idea how badly I needed to hear this; I feel alone in a dark room with no one listening to me--my entire family does not agree with me. Thank you for this answer... I am starting to see that I need to find a place in our church-and disregard what happens when my husband clashes with others...It has not been good for me to be alone in this. Thank you Susan and prayers your way and prayers for me that I find where I need to be.
We must HOLD EACH OTHER UP!
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 NKJV
[9] Two are better than one, Because they have a good reward for their labor. [10] For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, For he has no one to help him up. [11] Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm; But how can one be warm alone? [12] Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken. 🙏🙏🙏❤️