For the past few weeks, I’ve been holding my breath, in a different way than the way I’ve been holding my breath since my son announced he was trans, demanding that we refer to him with female pronouns and use only his new name, Erin. To never utter the name I love intensely — my beautiful Elliot, my daughter now, magically no longer my son. Holding my breath while waiting for him to see through the fantasy he has been sold, that drugs will take him from a place of deep and inexplicable self-hatred to a place of warm self-love. Or maybe self-tolerance is enough for him. And oftentimes holding my breath while waiting to see if the wrong pronoun or the wrong question or the wrong book or article would bring on the screaming raging monster waiting only millimeters below the surface of his flawless child-skin or whether the moment would pass unnoticed.
Beautifully written. I am sorry for your anguish. Your analogy about the horrific carnival is something I've thought about here in Canada, that the government will quietly change the language back from this: https://www.justice.gc.ca/socjs-esjp/en/women-femmes/Definitions to words that have fixed meanings, that male offenders will be put back in men's prisons, that pronouns will slowly disappear from signature blocks, that parents like you will be left with the aftermath of trauma, as you suggest, hoping that the damage done to your child can be healed, and we will never speak of this cult again. I hope it ends a different way and the people who joined the cult and harmed children and women are forced to pay the price, but either way, this has to end.
I want to believe that things will turn around soon, but I think it will take longer than any of us would like. The Catholic Church's widespread sexual abuse of children took decades to be exposed due to the vast institutional protection afforded to pedophilic priests. Similarly, the trans-medicalized mutilation of children's minds and bodies has corrupted and enriched so many institutions of society that its dismantling will take a long time.
But I agree with you that things are starting to change. The public comments by the three trans medical professionals named in this article are extraordinary, simply for existing. It remains to be seen, however, whether WPATH will revise its standard of care in a more conservative direction.
I agree with others that lawsuits, especially class action lawsuits, are essential. In the same way that Catholic adult survivors of sexual abuse committed by priests went to the courts for justice, I envision a day when parents and detransitioners will initiate class action lawsuits to demand accountability from all the so-called professionals in every field who enable and encourage this obscene, horrific state of affairs.
This only goes away quietly if we let it. Keep receipts. When the time is right, let schools, teachers, therapists, doctors, anyone who enabled this disaster know what harm they've caused. Make them answer for what they've done.
I agree with OM. I am not a litigious person by nature, but lawsuits will not only bringing wider attention to the issue, they will serve as a (mild) disincentive for those people and institutions who are shockingly okay with profiting off of this. I have to say, though, if you have followed the opioid crisis litigation, many times when a judge came down hard on a company, that company found a more pliable appeals judge willing to reduce the amount of the damages, effectively resulting in a slap on the wrist. These companies have never really been told "No!" in a way that is meaningful enough to give them pause when the next get-rich-quick opportunity (currently, our kids) presents itself. Thank you for writing this, I have been daring to hope a bit, too.
Thanks for sharing your story. My 16year old daughter who is autistic has been captured by this. Im in the process of writing to her school to find out what they are teaching pupils about gender ideology.
I read the news everyday hoping this nightmare will end. Schools have a lot to blame in what they are teaching. My daughter was pressured into being trans by peers her own friends and the school did nothing to support us and even denied it was bullying. Also I have recently discovered a male pupil, in my daughter's year also autistic was also being pressured and coerced into being trans and wearing a skirt in lessons. The pupils AND teachers clapped and praised him when he walked into lessons with a skirt on. This is totally unacceptable especially when the school knows our kids have autism and are vunerable.
Wishing you patience and peace. We all understand that every day this continues harms another child's future, another 10 childrens' ... and we'll keep pushing, hard. Love tells the truth.
Ah yes, I've had all these thoughts! I also desperately hope my own child desists before the change so she can own that choice and that wisdom.
Beautifully written. I am sorry for your anguish. Your analogy about the horrific carnival is something I've thought about here in Canada, that the government will quietly change the language back from this: https://www.justice.gc.ca/socjs-esjp/en/women-femmes/Definitions to words that have fixed meanings, that male offenders will be put back in men's prisons, that pronouns will slowly disappear from signature blocks, that parents like you will be left with the aftermath of trauma, as you suggest, hoping that the damage done to your child can be healed, and we will never speak of this cult again. I hope it ends a different way and the people who joined the cult and harmed children and women are forced to pay the price, but either way, this has to end.
Forwarded this essay to school district superintendent and he wants to know more
I want to believe that things will turn around soon, but I think it will take longer than any of us would like. The Catholic Church's widespread sexual abuse of children took decades to be exposed due to the vast institutional protection afforded to pedophilic priests. Similarly, the trans-medicalized mutilation of children's minds and bodies has corrupted and enriched so many institutions of society that its dismantling will take a long time.
But I agree with you that things are starting to change. The public comments by the three trans medical professionals named in this article are extraordinary, simply for existing. It remains to be seen, however, whether WPATH will revise its standard of care in a more conservative direction.
I agree with others that lawsuits, especially class action lawsuits, are essential. In the same way that Catholic adult survivors of sexual abuse committed by priests went to the courts for justice, I envision a day when parents and detransitioners will initiate class action lawsuits to demand accountability from all the so-called professionals in every field who enable and encourage this obscene, horrific state of affairs.
This only goes away quietly if we let it. Keep receipts. When the time is right, let schools, teachers, therapists, doctors, anyone who enabled this disaster know what harm they've caused. Make them answer for what they've done.
I agree with OM. I am not a litigious person by nature, but lawsuits will not only bringing wider attention to the issue, they will serve as a (mild) disincentive for those people and institutions who are shockingly okay with profiting off of this. I have to say, though, if you have followed the opioid crisis litigation, many times when a judge came down hard on a company, that company found a more pliable appeals judge willing to reduce the amount of the damages, effectively resulting in a slap on the wrist. These companies have never really been told "No!" in a way that is meaningful enough to give them pause when the next get-rich-quick opportunity (currently, our kids) presents itself. Thank you for writing this, I have been daring to hope a bit, too.
We need lawsuits!
Thanks for sharing your story. My 16year old daughter who is autistic has been captured by this. Im in the process of writing to her school to find out what they are teaching pupils about gender ideology.
I read the news everyday hoping this nightmare will end. Schools have a lot to blame in what they are teaching. My daughter was pressured into being trans by peers her own friends and the school did nothing to support us and even denied it was bullying. Also I have recently discovered a male pupil, in my daughter's year also autistic was also being pressured and coerced into being trans and wearing a skirt in lessons. The pupils AND teachers clapped and praised him when he walked into lessons with a skirt on. This is totally unacceptable especially when the school knows our kids have autism and are vunerable.
I hope they do the right thing. It is never too late to do the right thing! Many hugs to you!
Wishing you patience and peace. We all understand that every day this continues harms another child's future, another 10 childrens' ... and we'll keep pushing, hard. Love tells the truth.