We Need Time

Many parents do not see their child’s “trans” identity coming. Schools that withhold this information are robbing parents of necessary time - time to learn that their children are being influenced online by individuals who are convincing them that their distress is not due to puberty, autism, OCD, ADHD, or trauma but that they are “trapped in the wrong body.” Parents are robbed of time to learn that their children are being groomed online by men twice their age. 

Parents are being deprived of time to learn, as one mom told me while sobbing, that her diabetic son was ordering cross sex hormones from another country.

Time to learn that their child’s new friend group is actively encouraging them to question their gender. 

Time to learn that their daughter is cutting and has been fixating on creating two large cuts across her chest, that she has been binging on TikTok hoping to have a double mastectomy as soon as she comes of age. 

Time to learn that the counselor/therapist is not focusing on the root issues of their child’s distress, but on affirming their newly chosen gender identity. 

These parents need the time we did not have. Upon coming out in 2014, our child asked us to help with a medical transition. We asked for time. Time to understand what this meant and how to best help. It wasn’t enough time. Six months later our child suddenly disappeared, not to be seen by us since. 

If you know of a child who identifies as trans, you are not “outing” them, as you might with someone who is gay, lesbian or bisexual. You are alerting parents that their vulnerable child is taking part in a powerful social intervention and that they are at great risk of harm. 

 Please, give these parents time.