As a trans child I took this into account. I chose aaron to replace erin and picked my grandmas maiden name for my middle name after talking to my parents about it. they love my name and I love them. Shame on you.
also i know y’all will call me erin. it doesn’t hurt me, i know what my drivers license says, i know how my loved ones write my name. i am not ashamed of my past and i have built a beautiful future in large part due to the fact i don’t have parents like your children do. seethe and mald.
I also have two daughters who have changed names. one for my mother who died when I was pregnant with her and the other that was special in a different way. What are the odds two girls two years apart… now one has chopped her breasts off at 19 and the other one on the precipice of being 18…all of this change happened during Covid. Before 2020 , completely normal girlhoods…..
Now this… it has gotten easier over these last almost 4 years but it’s like a nightmare. A living one.
Great post and I so agree with you. Calling the name your parents gave you a "dead "name is such an insult to loving parents and fairly exposes the absolute cruelty of this sinister movement. Well articulated 👍👏❤️
I am so sick of all this trans BS, and I am so crushed by my daughters actions and those around her that did this to her, like Pinocchio when he was tricked. It is all so sad, so heartbreaking, so surreal, so evil. I am buying stock in millstones as they will be in great demand in the future. Conservatives were right all along, who knew?
I know it seems “petty” to say, ‘You are not getting any of my estate because you changed your name.’ However, this is a sliver of the much bigger picture. The names were chosen with great care. My son was named after my grandfather, who died when my dad was 8 years old. I heard stories about him all my life. A great man. A good man. A wise teacher. A high school principal. My son took the name of a Norse character from a RPG. My daughter was named after the sister I never had, who died at birth a year before me, who was a specter in our family (my mother cried at the breakfast table every year on her birthday and made my brothers and I feel guilty for being alive- and not perfect like our dead sister). I never had a sister I could share clothes, trade secrets, have my own playmate. Who knows what I would be like now, had she lived. My mother was not close to me. She was disappointed in me and was resentful of my relationship with my dad. My younger daughter named herself another Norse name, after the pre-Columbus explorer. She took my family name for her middle name and her brother took her name as his middle name. It is bizarre to me and I grew up in crazy times. Vietnam war, Haight Ashbury, Flower Power, early drug use. I was on the outside looking in, being raised LDS. Not any more but my values are pretty conservative, after some earlier adult forays into liberalism.
It is the whole thing of believing they can change their sex with clothes and surgery. Add something here, whack off something else. Taking drugs not meant for their basic body composition without any thought for the medical consequences. I am a breast cancer survivor and my son takes estrogen. How stupid is that? He cut off his testicles so if he ever changed his mind, he would have to take testosterone for the rest of his life. My daughter, the mother of a beautiful 12.5 year old daughter, who I have not seen since she was 6, is a scientist, not a biologist but a physicist but still, she should know DNA is in every cell of her body. I am a lawyer and I know that.
It is the gas lighting, the estrangement, the desire to have me “ affirm” them, which I will not do. At least my son, on The cusp of Gen X and Millenial, agrees he is not female. He says he just feels “more comfortable dressing up and pretending to be female.” Now that it is normalized, heck with the discomfort of the rest of us having to talk to a 6’2” balding man with long hair (what’s left of it) dressed up and made up to look like a caricature of a female human being. It is frankly insulting to rel women that he has thinks this is how we look. But he talks to us. After the first falsetto greeting, he sounds like himself and if we close our eyes, WE can pretend it is all a bad dream and our son is back. No siuch luck with the youngest. She is militant, angry, and furious that I would not take time off from my busy law practice and running my law firm to babysit her daughter at her home an hour away in another state for two weeks after her mastectomy, hysterectomy, and oopherectomy in 2017. We were told we were not allowed to take our granddaughter back home and care for her at our house. She told us she didn’t trust us because we had lit real candles in our house when she and her ex came over for Christmas when Katie was 3 months old (and not even crawling yet).
The names seem to be minor but it is handle I can hold onto to say, this was my gift to you. I gave it a huge amount of thought, long before you were born. You shat on it, threw it away, for role playing game fantasy characters’ names instead. You could have talked to me. You didn’t. This is my estate. What I have I created. I don’t have to give it to any of my kids. I could give it all to my pets with a pet trust, or a charity, or one of my four institutions of higher education from which I earned degrees. This is the line in the sand. They had the right to do what they did as adults, and I have the right to leave my estate to whom or what I want. They have no inherent right to my hard work. If I leave them something, it is a gift.
But life can be long and things change, opinions change. But that is where I am at right now.
Those are two very beautiful names. I love the floral representation in each. Remember, both lilies and roses are perennial flowers, and they return year after year regardless of the harshest winter. I hope your daughters do too!!!
This piece breaks my heart. My daughter Lucy - named after her grandmother, now calls it her deadname. Dr. Phil has come forward to report how in hell this unvetted ideology became an Affirm only protocol with the American Medical Assoc. as well as Pediatrics.
I love your story as it reflects the true love and purpose behind naming our children. It is truly the first thing we give them, other than life itself, that means something to us and we hope that represents them well as they grow up in the world. As with all things, there is zero thought about this when they throw it away, as well as their ties to family, the parents who loved them first and brought them up and supported them through everything life could throw at them, even after adulthood. It is indeed heartbreaking beyond explanation. Keeping you and your daughters in my thoughts and yes, prayers.
I feel exactly the same way. I executed my will in February and it only leaves to those of my children who have the names I gave them. Married surnames are okay. The new given names are so concerning and upsetting to me. Yes, they are adults and can do what they want but this decision is mine to make. I include a page long explanation in my will. I am an attorney who practiced in area of law so I am very well versed in what I could include in my will. I know some might see this differently. Everyone has a right to an opinion but this is mine. Wills can be changed up until death. I love all four of my children but two have taken this path. They are adults in their 40’s. Both divorced from the parents of their children. The youngest has not spoken to us in 7 years. It is heart breaking and I try not to dwell on it. If I started to cry and scream I might not be able to stop. I have been robbed of three grandchildren due to my youngest two’s choices.
Trying not out to dwell on it is the only way to survive such heart break. I am robbed of my two grandchildren also as an indirect result of my youngest daughter being “male” the past seven years. Her older sister has two children and has left her husband taking the two children to live with this youngest sibling. I was assessed as a possible carer for my grandchildren but was judged unsuitable as I have strong views judged to be “transgender phobic”. An official in England wrote in a letter to me that “I would most likely not support my grandson if he grew up to be “transvestite”. The judgement was grossly unfair but I did not challenge it as fighting the council in England was like fighting Goliath. Now, two years later there is more hope for people judged unfairly.
No doubt my daughter feels safe dwelling with her trans sibling as the authorities in England do not challenge trans people. So my grandchildren are being indoctrinated by their aunt (pretend uncle). Evil ideology at work.
That is insane. We are considered criminal for having an opposing opinion. Nevermind that one side’s opinion is rooted in science. I am so sorry for the alienation of your grandchildren. Not the kind of grandmas we thought we’d become. Alone, without our lil kiddos. It breaks my heart how man6 of us there are.
Really lonely, with no grandchildren at Easter and extended family having discarded me for my sane views. There seems to be an epidemic of mental health issues/insanity affecting a large part of the Western world. Why are we feeling like a minority group for believing in reality? This is the world gone insane.
This is unbelievable…TWO of your children?? I am so sorry. I think I understand though. As much as it goes against the grain, they are adults and they have made a choice. They must deal with the consequences. Yours is a strong stance, but a just one. I am almost there too
I totally support what you did and I believe we will be doing the same. Your story could be ours, exactly the same, except it was just our son who did this, at 40. Fortunately I have a good relationship with his ex wife and see my grandchildren. Their mom is the adult, we can have different opinions and beliefs, but still love each other. My son is not capable of that. That is the painful part, even though we tried. We have not spoken since last year. I remember seeing on social media, the one place he hasn't blocked me, the day he changed his name legally. I cried and cried. It was literally painful. My heart goes out to you, in a big way MeriBear.
Our daughter legally changed her name a couple years into the whole transgender nightmare. She too had a very beautiful name carefully and lovingly chosen with great significance and meaning to us. Now we don't know where she lives or works. We are "X"ed out of her life. She is completely estranged to us. Our hearts are broken. The grief so heavy. The tidal wave of pain that has hit our family(we have 8 other children) is debilitating at times and especially our younger kids don't deserve this kind of trauma and sadness and loss. She was their best little mama before all this evil demonic cult stole her from us🥺☹️💔🙏
My son is legally changing his name in a few months. After years dealing with this I feel one step closer to my son no longer existing. One more step toward oblivion for my child.
Thank you for writing this. Names are so important and for schools to discard them behind parents’ backs is just unforgivable. I feel they tried to kill my child by changing her name. Names are precious. They are bestowed by parents with great love, affection, understanding and intention.
Thank you for your reply Dawn. Yes, what is happening to us now is because we believed we were sufficient to ourselves, with no need for God. I will continue to remember you and yours in my prayers. Your sorrow is written on my heart. “And he shall go before him in the spirit and power of Elias; that he may turn the hearts of the fathers unto the children, and the incredulous to the wisdom of the just, to prepare unto the Lord a perfect people” — Luke 1:17
Amen. This is so painful in so many ways for so many families. May your daughters turn back from the abyss of this insane, evil social contagion. God bless them and you.
As a trans child I took this into account. I chose aaron to replace erin and picked my grandmas maiden name for my middle name after talking to my parents about it. they love my name and I love them. Shame on you.
also i know y’all will call me erin. it doesn’t hurt me, i know what my drivers license says, i know how my loved ones write my name. i am not ashamed of my past and i have built a beautiful future in large part due to the fact i don’t have parents like your children do. seethe and mald.
Thank YOU! and God bless you 💚
I also have two daughters who have changed names. one for my mother who died when I was pregnant with her and the other that was special in a different way. What are the odds two girls two years apart… now one has chopped her breasts off at 19 and the other one on the precipice of being 18…all of this change happened during Covid. Before 2020 , completely normal girlhoods…..
Now this… it has gotten easier over these last almost 4 years but it’s like a nightmare. A living one.
I'm so sorry!
Great post and I so agree with you. Calling the name your parents gave you a "dead "name is such an insult to loving parents and fairly exposes the absolute cruelty of this sinister movement. Well articulated 👍👏❤️
I am so sick of all this trans BS, and I am so crushed by my daughters actions and those around her that did this to her, like Pinocchio when he was tricked. It is all so sad, so heartbreaking, so surreal, so evil. I am buying stock in millstones as they will be in great demand in the future. Conservatives were right all along, who knew?
Lol on Millstones, thx for the stock tip. It's all so crazy
I know it seems “petty” to say, ‘You are not getting any of my estate because you changed your name.’ However, this is a sliver of the much bigger picture. The names were chosen with great care. My son was named after my grandfather, who died when my dad was 8 years old. I heard stories about him all my life. A great man. A good man. A wise teacher. A high school principal. My son took the name of a Norse character from a RPG. My daughter was named after the sister I never had, who died at birth a year before me, who was a specter in our family (my mother cried at the breakfast table every year on her birthday and made my brothers and I feel guilty for being alive- and not perfect like our dead sister). I never had a sister I could share clothes, trade secrets, have my own playmate. Who knows what I would be like now, had she lived. My mother was not close to me. She was disappointed in me and was resentful of my relationship with my dad. My younger daughter named herself another Norse name, after the pre-Columbus explorer. She took my family name for her middle name and her brother took her name as his middle name. It is bizarre to me and I grew up in crazy times. Vietnam war, Haight Ashbury, Flower Power, early drug use. I was on the outside looking in, being raised LDS. Not any more but my values are pretty conservative, after some earlier adult forays into liberalism.
It is the whole thing of believing they can change their sex with clothes and surgery. Add something here, whack off something else. Taking drugs not meant for their basic body composition without any thought for the medical consequences. I am a breast cancer survivor and my son takes estrogen. How stupid is that? He cut off his testicles so if he ever changed his mind, he would have to take testosterone for the rest of his life. My daughter, the mother of a beautiful 12.5 year old daughter, who I have not seen since she was 6, is a scientist, not a biologist but a physicist but still, she should know DNA is in every cell of her body. I am a lawyer and I know that.
It is the gas lighting, the estrangement, the desire to have me “ affirm” them, which I will not do. At least my son, on The cusp of Gen X and Millenial, agrees he is not female. He says he just feels “more comfortable dressing up and pretending to be female.” Now that it is normalized, heck with the discomfort of the rest of us having to talk to a 6’2” balding man with long hair (what’s left of it) dressed up and made up to look like a caricature of a female human being. It is frankly insulting to rel women that he has thinks this is how we look. But he talks to us. After the first falsetto greeting, he sounds like himself and if we close our eyes, WE can pretend it is all a bad dream and our son is back. No siuch luck with the youngest. She is militant, angry, and furious that I would not take time off from my busy law practice and running my law firm to babysit her daughter at her home an hour away in another state for two weeks after her mastectomy, hysterectomy, and oopherectomy in 2017. We were told we were not allowed to take our granddaughter back home and care for her at our house. She told us she didn’t trust us because we had lit real candles in our house when she and her ex came over for Christmas when Katie was 3 months old (and not even crawling yet).
The names seem to be minor but it is handle I can hold onto to say, this was my gift to you. I gave it a huge amount of thought, long before you were born. You shat on it, threw it away, for role playing game fantasy characters’ names instead. You could have talked to me. You didn’t. This is my estate. What I have I created. I don’t have to give it to any of my kids. I could give it all to my pets with a pet trust, or a charity, or one of my four institutions of higher education from which I earned degrees. This is the line in the sand. They had the right to do what they did as adults, and I have the right to leave my estate to whom or what I want. They have no inherent right to my hard work. If I leave them something, it is a gift.
But life can be long and things change, opinions change. But that is where I am at right now.
I can't even begin to understand your pain and anguish. My heart hurts for you. This ideology is so evil!!
Thank you!
Those are two very beautiful names. I love the floral representation in each. Remember, both lilies and roses are perennial flowers, and they return year after year regardless of the harshest winter. I hope your daughters do too!!!
Thank you!
This piece breaks my heart. My daughter Lucy - named after her grandmother, now calls it her deadname. Dr. Phil has come forward to report how in hell this unvetted ideology became an Affirm only protocol with the American Medical Assoc. as well as Pediatrics.
I love your story as it reflects the true love and purpose behind naming our children. It is truly the first thing we give them, other than life itself, that means something to us and we hope that represents them well as they grow up in the world. As with all things, there is zero thought about this when they throw it away, as well as their ties to family, the parents who loved them first and brought them up and supported them through everything life could throw at them, even after adulthood. It is indeed heartbreaking beyond explanation. Keeping you and your daughters in my thoughts and yes, prayers.
Thank you!
I feel exactly the same way. I executed my will in February and it only leaves to those of my children who have the names I gave them. Married surnames are okay. The new given names are so concerning and upsetting to me. Yes, they are adults and can do what they want but this decision is mine to make. I include a page long explanation in my will. I am an attorney who practiced in area of law so I am very well versed in what I could include in my will. I know some might see this differently. Everyone has a right to an opinion but this is mine. Wills can be changed up until death. I love all four of my children but two have taken this path. They are adults in their 40’s. Both divorced from the parents of their children. The youngest has not spoken to us in 7 years. It is heart breaking and I try not to dwell on it. If I started to cry and scream I might not be able to stop. I have been robbed of three grandchildren due to my youngest two’s choices.
Trying not out to dwell on it is the only way to survive such heart break. I am robbed of my two grandchildren also as an indirect result of my youngest daughter being “male” the past seven years. Her older sister has two children and has left her husband taking the two children to live with this youngest sibling. I was assessed as a possible carer for my grandchildren but was judged unsuitable as I have strong views judged to be “transgender phobic”. An official in England wrote in a letter to me that “I would most likely not support my grandson if he grew up to be “transvestite”. The judgement was grossly unfair but I did not challenge it as fighting the council in England was like fighting Goliath. Now, two years later there is more hope for people judged unfairly.
No doubt my daughter feels safe dwelling with her trans sibling as the authorities in England do not challenge trans people. So my grandchildren are being indoctrinated by their aunt (pretend uncle). Evil ideology at work.
That is insane. We are considered criminal for having an opposing opinion. Nevermind that one side’s opinion is rooted in science. I am so sorry for the alienation of your grandchildren. Not the kind of grandmas we thought we’d become. Alone, without our lil kiddos. It breaks my heart how man6 of us there are.
Really lonely, with no grandchildren at Easter and extended family having discarded me for my sane views. There seems to be an epidemic of mental health issues/insanity affecting a large part of the Western world. Why are we feeling like a minority group for believing in reality? This is the world gone insane.
This is unbelievable…TWO of your children?? I am so sorry. I think I understand though. As much as it goes against the grain, they are adults and they have made a choice. They must deal with the consequences. Yours is a strong stance, but a just one. I am almost there too
I totally support what you did and I believe we will be doing the same. Your story could be ours, exactly the same, except it was just our son who did this, at 40. Fortunately I have a good relationship with his ex wife and see my grandchildren. Their mom is the adult, we can have different opinions and beliefs, but still love each other. My son is not capable of that. That is the painful part, even though we tried. We have not spoken since last year. I remember seeing on social media, the one place he hasn't blocked me, the day he changed his name legally. I cried and cried. It was literally painful. My heart goes out to you, in a big way MeriBear.
Thank you! I will keep you in my prayers
Our daughter legally changed her name a couple years into the whole transgender nightmare. She too had a very beautiful name carefully and lovingly chosen with great significance and meaning to us. Now we don't know where she lives or works. We are "X"ed out of her life. She is completely estranged to us. Our hearts are broken. The grief so heavy. The tidal wave of pain that has hit our family(we have 8 other children) is debilitating at times and especially our younger kids don't deserve this kind of trauma and sadness and loss. She was their best little mama before all this evil demonic cult stole her from us🥺☹️💔🙏
I'm so sorry.
My son is legally changing his name in a few months. After years dealing with this I feel one step closer to my son no longer existing. One more step toward oblivion for my child.
I'm so sorry!
Thank you for writing this. Names are so important and for schools to discard them behind parents’ backs is just unforgivable. I feel they tried to kill my child by changing her name. Names are precious. They are bestowed by parents with great love, affection, understanding and intention.
Heartbreaking. Saying a prayer for you and your children. May God bless you all!
Thank you! And thank you for your prayers! I believe we got here when our culture turned their backs on God,
Thank you for your reply Dawn. Yes, what is happening to us now is because we believed we were sufficient to ourselves, with no need for God. I will continue to remember you and yours in my prayers. Your sorrow is written on my heart. “And he shall go before him in the spirit and power of Elias; that he may turn the hearts of the fathers unto the children, and the incredulous to the wisdom of the just, to prepare unto the Lord a perfect people” — Luke 1:17
Amen. This is so painful in so many ways for so many families. May your daughters turn back from the abyss of this insane, evil social contagion. God bless them and you.
Thank you for your prayers!
Two children in one family but they say it is not a social contagion. It is about as contagious as Covid in some age groups and can be deadly as well.
I also have two children born as girls who now identify as male.
As infectious as covid in some families. Definitely contagious. Stay strong
It's crazy and evil. I'll keep you in my prayers!
Wow, speechless