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Mama Ain't Playin''s avatar

Went through this 4 years ago & our daughter desisted. The advice we got from her therapist--thankfully NOT an inductee of the Gender Cult--was, don't give in on the name or pronouns, but don't argue with her and don't antagonize her by using her name and/or female pronouns. In short, don't piss her off but give her space to find herself and become herself.

As a result: there was an unprecedented use in our household of the second person. We also called her by pet nicknames we hadn't used so regularly since she was a preschooler--but that's the thing about the trans cult: it's essentially a childish fantasy. So many of the children caught up in it--and not a few of the adults--are immature in the extreme. But, she tolerated the nicknames and all the you-ing we had to do. I think something in her wanted us to create a backstop or barrier for this new fascination, which was very much driven by peer pressure/inducements at her new high school, and not online communities.

After 4 months she desisted entirely, and--very bravely in my view--went back to school a few months later having to re-introduce herself as a girl named (birth name.) Even as a 15-year old the following year, she said to me, "thank you for not affirming me, and thank you for not letting me take medical steps." She's happy the way she is, now a college student with one successful year under her belt.

But I can't tell you the tears of relief and joy I cried when we could call her HER, and (birth name) again.

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Alison's avatar

I too could have written this word for word, but eight years ago. My daughter is turning 23 next month. She began cross sex hormones four years ago. We tried at that time to convince her to finish her bachelors degree at Brandeis University (which we were paying for in full), where unbeknownst to us she was receiving gender affirming therapy at their mental health clinic. She refused and accused us of being transphobic, cutting off all contact. She hasn’t spoken to us in three plus years other than to threaten us with a ‘no contact’ order after I contacted her through Instagram and told her I loved her and missed her. If your child is still a teen, step in firmly while you still have time. I love my daughter, I will be here for her if/when this house of cards implodes. We will be here if/when she needs us and/or wants her family back.😢😢😢

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