A Note from Kara Dansky

To the parents of Parents with Inconvenient Truths about Trans (PITT),

I fully confess that I do not read every post from PITT. I subscribe to I-don’t-know-how-many-Substacks about “trans.”

However, I read most of your posts. I read this one.

We are living in strange times

…. a time when many children are being taught that, if their parents disagree with them, their parents are “toxic.” That if parents try to guide them, they are “controlling.” That if parents set limits, they are being “oppressive.”

But almost nobody talks about the other side.

Nobody talks about the sleepless nights. The silent sacrifices. The weight a father and a mother carry when they are trying to prepare a child for a world they know will show no mercy.

Because the world is not a Discord group.

The world is not a classroom where everyone validates your feelings.

The world demands. The world tests. The world does not protect.

And that is exactly why parents try to prepare their children.

There is a huge difference between abuse and guidance. Between rejection and concern. Between control and responsibility.

Parents are not trying to destroy their child. They are trying to protect something the child may not yet fully understand: their own future.

The greatest irony of all this is that the same society that teaches young people to distrust their parents is the same society that will not be there when they fall.

But parents… they remain.

Even after the slammed doors.

Even after the harsh words.

Even after being called ignorant, outdated, or toxic.

Because the true love of a father and a mother does not operate on approval. It operates on commitment.

Maybe the question that needs to be asked is not: “Why don’t my parents agree with me?”

Maybe the more mature question is: “What do they see that I still cannot see?”

Disagreement is part of life. Every generation disagrees with the one before it. That is normal.

What should never become normal is teaching a child to despise the people who loved them the most.

Parents are not perfect. They make mistakes. They are learning too. But most of the time, behind firmness there is fear. Fear of seeing their child suffer. Fear of seeing their child take paths that lead to pain.

And maybe the greatest tragedy of this generation is not the difference of ideas…

But how easily they are cutting ties with the ones who would give their lives for them.

Because at the end of life, after the trends pass, after the ideologies change, after the online groups disappear…

Family should still be the place you can return to.

And every child should at least consider this possibility:

Maybe my parents are not my enemies.

Maybe they are just trying, in their own way, to love me.

I am not a parent at all, let alone a parent of a child lost in the cult of “trans.”

It is not possible for me to understand what you are going through. It is not possible for me to grasp the agony of what you are dealing with. I won’t pretend that I know.

However, I want you to know that I see you. I hear you. Your words matter.

Please keep writing. Until this is over.

Kara Dansky