My story is completely unremarkable. When new parents introduce themselves on the Genspect forum, the introduction is often word-for-word the same as mine. So here is my very ordinary 21st-Century story. We’re a liberal family, of the social justice variety. My husband and I both have a postgraduate education. I’m trained in epidemiology so I know how to spot bad science. We both have senior jobs in our fields, and we live a comfortable upper middle class life.
Please forgive me if this story is considered inappropriate within this context? Whether anyone considers themselves christian or not, may I please include some extra nuance to your conversation? I have no intention of attempting any kind of evangelization in my contribution, I would however like to supply some extra dimension to the discourse. To advance some concepts I would like to present some quotes.
First:
Isa 56:4-5 KJV 4 For thus saith the LORD unto the eunuchs that keep my sabbaths, and choose the things that please me, and take hold of my covenant; 5 Even unto them will I give in mine house and within my walls a place and a name better than of sons and of daughters: I will give them an everlasting name, that shall not be cut off.
Second:
Mat 19:11-12 KJV 11 But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given. 12 For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.
Third:
Act 8:26-40 KJV (The baptism of the eunuch which I consider too long to be quoted here but far from inconsequential.)
I would love to note first that the term eunuch in these quotes seems to be defined by the Lord Jesus himself to include intersex individuals (eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb). Unwilling (some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men) and willing (eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs) individuals appear similarly defined.
May I also note the quote (unto them will I give in mine house and within my walls a place and a name better than of sons and of daughters). I am aware that original Hebrew literally is translated "a hand and a name" greater than of sons and of daughters. I am, however, quite intrigued by the implications that eunuchs are given recognition separate from sons and from daughters.
I consider myself to be a eunuch (trans). I am not exactly a son and not exactly a daughter. I have a woefully masculine face and physique but I am definitely not a son (AMAB MTF post SRS (GCS)). Therefore I do not fit in sons' spaces or daughters' spaces.
I have immersed myself in the historical, philosophical, psychological, political and theological literature and media for a significant portion of seven decades and conclude that I am physically, politically, perceptually and theologically non-binary. Psychologically, I have identified as female since the age of two or three but diligent discipline discouraged any hint or discussion of my feminine identity or behavior. My ideal puberty would have included hormone blockers until a legally acceptable age to begin HRT and GCS (SRS) and then as nearly normal womanhood as attainable.
In actuality, the diligent discipline has induced my voluntary celibacy and perception that I have been insidiously gaslighted and have a subtle incidence of complex traumatic stress disorder by the dismissing, ignoring, denying and suppressing of my gender identity. I am just one of my peers who is the quarry for metaphorical, euphemistic and literal physical erasure.
I hope my comments and the quotes are discovered to be beneficial. I pray that nothing is found to be triggering because my intent was to be somehow loving, compassionate and empathetic to each and everyone. If you have deigned to read this entire comment, thank you much!
Thanks so much for this wonderful essay - yes I too could have written this. May schools be held to account for the terrible harm they are doing to our kids by spreading this vicious, hateful ideology
This is so familiar and your story touched me so much. You are doing all the right things and I am sure your daughter will emerge one day and know you did the absolute best for her. My own daughter is now 18 months post desistance after almost five years of trans identification. For years, trans dominated our lives, she was obsessed, and utterly miserable. We held our ground, providing love and balance to the prevailing narrative that she could somehow find happiness and escape from her body in another gender rather than in learning to celebrate herself with all her quirks. Our relationship was rocky to say the least during the teen years, but now we are her first port of call when she needs advice or assistance. She acknowledges the part we played in preventing her making irrevocable mistakes. Scenario one will give you an adult who knows you put your child first, whatever she ultimately decides. Hang in there.
My experience with scenario one, which we also continue to choose, is that we are then undermined as parents. And not just with our trans-identified daughter. Her younger brother now questions us as sound mentors also, taking up for his "brother" and rejecting our affection. I can see the conflict in him even as he pushes me away and it hurts like hell to have this previously affectionate, family-oriented sweet boy treat me this way. In fact, I'd say my daughter allows the connection I work so hard to maintain with more ease and awareness than our son does right now. He is also in the full throws of early puberty at the moment, and I can remind myself that plays into the current dynamic. My sanity relies on also choosing trust over fear. Trusting that the foundations we provided will eventually prevail, creating connection however possible, and hoping that the harm done by culture's collective delusion is temporary and minimal.
I know we did it from love, but we raised a generation of children who have NEVER been uncomfortable. We've loved them and sheltered them and kept them from all harm, and then they hit puberty, which is inherently a time of uncomfortablness. Then we tell them that if they are uneasy about these changes they are trans. It's like we wrote a script for this to all happen.
What is wrong with the mental health professionals? Have they completely forgot the adolescent mind. Quite common for girls to hate their developing body.
Thank you for this story. I wonder how you are doing now?
Eight historical transliterated Hebrew biological sex designations with terse definitions:
Zachar, male.
Nekevah, female.
Androgynos, having both male and female characteristics.
Tumtum, lacking sexual characteristics.
Aylonit hamah, identified female at birth but later naturally developing male characteristics.
Aylonit adam, identified female at birth but later developing male characteristics through human intervention.
Saris hamah, identified male at birth but later naturally developing female characteristics.
Saris adam, identified male at birth and later developing female characteristics through human intervention
Sex Difference in Christian Theology: Male, Female, and Intersex in the Image of God
by Megan K. DeFranza
This book is a wonderful, merciful, rigorous theological discussion of biological sex and the introductory video is listed here:
https://youtu.be/331smwhg0gM
Please forgive me if this story is considered inappropriate within this context? Whether anyone considers themselves christian or not, may I please include some extra nuance to your conversation? I have no intention of attempting any kind of evangelization in my contribution, I would however like to supply some extra dimension to the discourse. To advance some concepts I would like to present some quotes.
First:
Isa 56:4-5 KJV 4 For thus saith the LORD unto the eunuchs that keep my sabbaths, and choose the things that please me, and take hold of my covenant; 5 Even unto them will I give in mine house and within my walls a place and a name better than of sons and of daughters: I will give them an everlasting name, that shall not be cut off.
Second:
Mat 19:11-12 KJV 11 But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given. 12 For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.
Third:
Act 8:26-40 KJV (The baptism of the eunuch which I consider too long to be quoted here but far from inconsequential.)
I would love to note first that the term eunuch in these quotes seems to be defined by the Lord Jesus himself to include intersex individuals (eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb). Unwilling (some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men) and willing (eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs) individuals appear similarly defined.
May I also note the quote (unto them will I give in mine house and within my walls a place and a name better than of sons and of daughters). I am aware that original Hebrew literally is translated "a hand and a name" greater than of sons and of daughters. I am, however, quite intrigued by the implications that eunuchs are given recognition separate from sons and from daughters.
I consider myself to be a eunuch (trans). I am not exactly a son and not exactly a daughter. I have a woefully masculine face and physique but I am definitely not a son (AMAB MTF post SRS (GCS)). Therefore I do not fit in sons' spaces or daughters' spaces.
I have immersed myself in the historical, philosophical, psychological, political and theological literature and media for a significant portion of seven decades and conclude that I am physically, politically, perceptually and theologically non-binary. Psychologically, I have identified as female since the age of two or three but diligent discipline discouraged any hint or discussion of my feminine identity or behavior. My ideal puberty would have included hormone blockers until a legally acceptable age to begin HRT and GCS (SRS) and then as nearly normal womanhood as attainable.
In actuality, the diligent discipline has induced my voluntary celibacy and perception that I have been insidiously gaslighted and have a subtle incidence of complex traumatic stress disorder by the dismissing, ignoring, denying and suppressing of my gender identity. I am just one of my peers who is the quarry for metaphorical, euphemistic and literal physical erasure.
I hope my comments and the quotes are discovered to be beneficial. I pray that nothing is found to be triggering because my intent was to be somehow loving, compassionate and empathetic to each and everyone. If you have deigned to read this entire comment, thank you much!
Thanks so much for this wonderful essay - yes I too could have written this. May schools be held to account for the terrible harm they are doing to our kids by spreading this vicious, hateful ideology
This is so familiar and your story touched me so much. You are doing all the right things and I am sure your daughter will emerge one day and know you did the absolute best for her. My own daughter is now 18 months post desistance after almost five years of trans identification. For years, trans dominated our lives, she was obsessed, and utterly miserable. We held our ground, providing love and balance to the prevailing narrative that she could somehow find happiness and escape from her body in another gender rather than in learning to celebrate herself with all her quirks. Our relationship was rocky to say the least during the teen years, but now we are her first port of call when she needs advice or assistance. She acknowledges the part we played in preventing her making irrevocable mistakes. Scenario one will give you an adult who knows you put your child first, whatever she ultimately decides. Hang in there.
My experience with scenario one, which we also continue to choose, is that we are then undermined as parents. And not just with our trans-identified daughter. Her younger brother now questions us as sound mentors also, taking up for his "brother" and rejecting our affection. I can see the conflict in him even as he pushes me away and it hurts like hell to have this previously affectionate, family-oriented sweet boy treat me this way. In fact, I'd say my daughter allows the connection I work so hard to maintain with more ease and awareness than our son does right now. He is also in the full throws of early puberty at the moment, and I can remind myself that plays into the current dynamic. My sanity relies on also choosing trust over fear. Trusting that the foundations we provided will eventually prevail, creating connection however possible, and hoping that the harm done by culture's collective delusion is temporary and minimal.
I know we did it from love, but we raised a generation of children who have NEVER been uncomfortable. We've loved them and sheltered them and kept them from all harm, and then they hit puberty, which is inherently a time of uncomfortablness. Then we tell them that if they are uneasy about these changes they are trans. It's like we wrote a script for this to all happen.
Another story like ours except we are
A conservative family, hard working blue color family that live a comfortable upper middle class life.
What is wrong with the mental health professionals? Have they completely forgot the adolescent mind. Quite common for girls to hate their developing body.
Another testimony I could have literally written myself.