Hang in there - I was labeled "abusive" too, even though just a few years ago my daughter told me she had always felt safe with me. There was private school and university, music lessons, sports, travel....This appears to be an illness of the privileged. My adult child cut me off nearly 2 years ago and it hurts like nothing I've experien…
Hang in there - I was labeled "abusive" too, even though just a few years ago my daughter told me she had always felt safe with me. There was private school and university, music lessons, sports, travel....This appears to be an illness of the privileged. My adult child cut me off nearly 2 years ago and it hurts like nothing I've experienced. I take comfort in my close relatives telling me I was a good mum and focusing on my own hobbies and interests. I've been listening to a podcast for psychiatric residents and I've been intrigued by the episodes on borderline personality disorder. There are so many similarities in behaviour and traits -- the extreme emotional reactions, the black and white thinking, body dysmorphia, eating disorders... I think lots of young people are actually struggling with BPD and aren't getting the help they need because once they claim the "trans" identity the culture starts validating and rewarding their BPD traits.
Puzzle Therapy I have just listened to that podcast with Lisa Duval and it was so profound. Thank you so much for recommending that. I could so relate to her insights. She talked about two types of kids she sees in her practice. My daughter exactly fits the second type she mentioned, noncompliant, strong-willed, politically motivated...looking to rebel and individuate, but with parents who are already liberal, there is nothing to rebel against, except traditional notions of gender.... The concept of iatrogenic BPD traits was fascinating. The wider culture is affirming a false diagnosis and then doing harm through the treatment. Advice to people living with a BPD family member is to show them empathy, but do not cave into their demands and threats to self-harm. And yet with ROGD (and same traits induced by social media use) we are told to cave into their every demand or else they will cut off contact with us. How can clinicians not SEE this inconsistency?
The podcast I was listening to most recently was at https://www.psychiatrypodcast.com/. I've heard the Wider Lens podcast but not the one you've referenced. I'll check that one out. In our case I don't think the BPD is "pseudo" bc I think my daughter's father shows the same traits, as does his mother. However what's different is that in other contexts extreme emotional dysregulation is punished by the culture. In the trans context, as you said, it's rewarded and even seen as necessary for inclusion.
Wow, this is really interesting, Puzzle Therapy. I have to go listen to these episodes. One of my friends who is a psychologist and knows about my daughter's trans identity has suggested she might be BPD; however, my daughter has no childhood trauma and no real attachment issues so I wondered how she might have developed BPD...I had not heard about iatrogenic or pseudo-BPD. Of course, I can't take her for any sort of diagnosis, because I don't trust any providers to do anything but affirm her more than her previous therapists already hvae.
I am curious to learn more about this pseudo-BPD too. One thing I've read elsewhere is a theory that BPD may have hereditary causes even where there are no traumas or attachment issues. Also I recall reading studies connecting BPD and autism with extreme stress (high levels of cortisol) during the pregnancy. I found that interesting. I don't remember where that was but I think the study was on women who had survived Hurricane Katrina and elevated rates of autism in their children.
Hang in there - I was labeled "abusive" too, even though just a few years ago my daughter told me she had always felt safe with me. There was private school and university, music lessons, sports, travel....This appears to be an illness of the privileged. My adult child cut me off nearly 2 years ago and it hurts like nothing I've experienced. I take comfort in my close relatives telling me I was a good mum and focusing on my own hobbies and interests. I've been listening to a podcast for psychiatric residents and I've been intrigued by the episodes on borderline personality disorder. There are so many similarities in behaviour and traits -- the extreme emotional reactions, the black and white thinking, body dysmorphia, eating disorders... I think lots of young people are actually struggling with BPD and aren't getting the help they need because once they claim the "trans" identity the culture starts validating and rewarding their BPD traits.
Puzzle Therapy I have just listened to that podcast with Lisa Duval and it was so profound. Thank you so much for recommending that. I could so relate to her insights. She talked about two types of kids she sees in her practice. My daughter exactly fits the second type she mentioned, noncompliant, strong-willed, politically motivated...looking to rebel and individuate, but with parents who are already liberal, there is nothing to rebel against, except traditional notions of gender.... The concept of iatrogenic BPD traits was fascinating. The wider culture is affirming a false diagnosis and then doing harm through the treatment. Advice to people living with a BPD family member is to show them empathy, but do not cave into their demands and threats to self-harm. And yet with ROGD (and same traits induced by social media use) we are told to cave into their every demand or else they will cut off contact with us. How can clinicians not SEE this inconsistency?
I completely agree. I wish this iatrogenic bpd idea would get discussed and explored more!
The podcast I was listening to most recently was at https://www.psychiatrypodcast.com/. I've heard the Wider Lens podcast but not the one you've referenced. I'll check that one out. In our case I don't think the BPD is "pseudo" bc I think my daughter's father shows the same traits, as does his mother. However what's different is that in other contexts extreme emotional dysregulation is punished by the culture. In the trans context, as you said, it's rewarded and even seen as necessary for inclusion.
Wow, this is really interesting, Puzzle Therapy. I have to go listen to these episodes. One of my friends who is a psychologist and knows about my daughter's trans identity has suggested she might be BPD; however, my daughter has no childhood trauma and no real attachment issues so I wondered how she might have developed BPD...I had not heard about iatrogenic or pseudo-BPD. Of course, I can't take her for any sort of diagnosis, because I don't trust any providers to do anything but affirm her more than her previous therapists already hvae.
I am curious to learn more about this pseudo-BPD too. One thing I've read elsewhere is a theory that BPD may have hereditary causes even where there are no traumas or attachment issues. Also I recall reading studies connecting BPD and autism with extreme stress (high levels of cortisol) during the pregnancy. I found that interesting. I don't remember where that was but I think the study was on women who had survived Hurricane Katrina and elevated rates of autism in their children.