Here it comes again. Dreaded Christmas time. Down the black pit. Falling deeper every day. I remember clearly my decision as a 16-year-old to never, ever have children. It simply wouldn't be good for any child to be born and raised by a woman like me. I was unwanted, sexually abused and beaten from an early age. Doctors put me on addicting medication at age 12 in order to “help” me cope.
It seems Germany never fails in it's abundance of terrible ideas, from Klaus Schwab and WEF to Hitler, Marx and so many others. They destroyed Christianity and kept it alive with a state sponsored tax on their citizens. Once you hang someone like Dietrich Bonhoeffer and commit millions of other atrocities what's left.
I will never abandon hope for my daughter now bearded and breastless, even when I die because she knows what I hoped for, therefore my hope will live on.
The Bible says that hope is the confident expectation of what God has promised. It says that those who hope in the Lord will be strengthened, happy, and guided. It says that hope should lead to praise, rejoicing, patience, and prayer.
Jeremiah 29:11: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”
Romans 15:13: “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit”
Romans 12:12: “Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer”
Hebrews 11:1: “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen”
Isaiah 40:31: “But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint”
You are very right about Germany not missing anything evil. This year we will have some elections and the fascists party AfD probably will win the majority. Plans to deport millions of Germans have been published recently. History repeating itself?!
"The AfD won't change its position on immigration policy because of a single opinion at a non-AfD meeting," a spokesperson told news outlet Reuters. "We protect everyone — regardless of origin, skin color or how uncomfortable someone is for fanatics with assimilation fantasies," said Scholz. Mass-migration to Germany has become one of the most hotly contested issues in the country as its generous asylum and refugee policies have allowed millions to enter. Scholz himself has stated that "too many are coming" in recent years as the nation's social systems are reaching critical levels under the strain of surging arrivals. Strong Nations are best for the world. Each Nation is a laboratory where best policies can be instituted and seen for what is best for the nation and it's people. Hungary seems to be doing quite well IMO.
This whole darn world is one hot mess. It's broken. I wonder if there's anywhere left to go or any chance of a turning back the clock? I think not, I think we possibly could be in the time of sorrows, for that is what my heart surely feels 💔
The description of your life can definitely compete for the cake in the category of heartbreaking stories.
I'm truly sorry for all the suffering you had to endure. You were beyond brave to choose life for your twins after experiencing a terribly painful childhood. You gave them a chance at life- regardless of what they did with your gift- and you have been and still are a wonderful mom.
Both your kids have bought in horrific lies, each their own way. It's not the loving caring son you knew who is talking to you and treating you with so much anger and disrespect . It's the demonic trans cultic zombie that has taken over him.
Your son is not dead but he's sleeping. Things need to fall into place for him to awake from his trans coma. And it doesn't depend on you. I was in that " coma" for nearly 10 years before slowing reverting to the decently good hearted girl I had always been. From your own admission, there are lots of things you dislike about and disagree with your birth culture. Therefore, do not fall into the lies of a German proverb that says that given enough time and pain, hope will surely die. Hope never dies. If it could die, the very word would have disappeared long ago in the midst of all the terrible crisis humanity has been through.
The gender craze is another one of those,and we happen to be living during that time. I believe nobody is born in a specific time of history by accident. Don't lose hope. Hold strong, it will never depart from you. I'm a living example that there is always hope.
You're a great writer. The world has a lot to learn from your resilience, your moral strength and your...hope. How about writing a book?
The fact you always kept going despite the abuse, the excruciating pain, the abandonment...is an inspiration. Your sadness can be turned into greatness and become a meaningful witness to this crazy world. Miracles still happen. What seemed to have been turned into immovable stones can be reborn into life. I have seen it happened over and over. Keep your hope. It's your biggest strength.
Dearest Helene, I love your writing! You seem to have a wonderful sense of humor and a great analyzing mind. That combined make your comforting words so effective! You are probably right that hope is a never dying notion. I guess you can feel hopeless about one thing and yet hopefull in others. Like looking forward to start gardening next spring. The ability to face the deepest sorrows is strength. I am convinced of that because it is an expression of deeply felt love. I wonder what your " coma" looked like and more importantly if you are well and not too wounded, surrounded by loving people. That I really hope. Funny and flattering you saying that I am good writer. I felt somewhat embarrassed writing in English. You yourself are a good writer! Maybe we should write a book together. A warm bear hug from snowy Germany.
I like your comparison with gardening. It's a lot like it. From the surface, it looks bare and dead. But under, it's bursting with life and the patient expectancy of a renewal, a new life.
English is my third language, you would not enjoy writing a book with me:)
Helene, what wonderful encouragement are your words to this desperate writer. You are right about "hope." And I found this especially encouraging to me: "Your son is not dead but he's sleeping. Things need to fall into place for him to awake from his trans coma." So thanks for the hope! I am waiting for those "things" to "fall into place...with HOPE.
Helene, your reply is interesting, especially the part about sleeping & the ‘demonic trans zombie taking over’ & not to give up hope. What I don’t understand is the, as you say almost demonic personality change & voracity of meanness that is thrown at the non affirming parent, when to others, they are their old nice self, & most seem to be holding down jobs…
My son recently detransitioned, and was estranged for over a year. He was horrible to us. He is no longer angry with us and is his old self again. He is also very apologetic how he treated us. He believed we were bad people. He now realizes we loved him and we were just trying to protect him. He understands it now. Don’t give up hope. Your sweet son is still there.
Gosh, really? It’s been such a long time. My husband keeps saying, just be patient, the vitriol & departure just seems to get stronger, but you have given me hope 🙏
Because trans identifying people are brainwashed with the fat lie that anybody who does not affirm your newfound trans identity- and I mean anybody, parents who have always showered you with their love, your best friend of 17 years, grandma who was always your confident you trusted with your life...- hates you with the same hatred that Nazis had for the jews and wants you dead, either by pushing you to suicide or by belonging to the transphobic haters that want to genocide us all (trans people).
If you believed, without the shadow of a doubt and with a religious fervor that someone is feigning to love and care for you because they have a hidden and dark agenda to destroy you, wouldn't you lash out at that person, be very mean or nasty, insult them and overall wish them dead and let them know, given how dangerous you believe they are to your survival?
And you would do that while still maintaining a certain level of composure with others who have not " declared " their " hatred" and could even be possible allies. I remember the sad story of that dad who heard somebody trying to enter his house through the front door. He shot the soon- to-be intruder through the door, killing his only beloved son who had forgotten his house key and didn't want to wake up his dad in the middle of the night.
At the end, dad was so persuaded that whoever was outside the door was a dangerous intruder who would potentially kill him that he killed him first.
The factual truth that it was his son behind the door made no difference.
Trans identifying people who feel threatened in their identity will shoot through the door first.
Helene, I really appreciate your input in trying to explain that. So while you're ‘ in the cult’ so to speak, you really think that your parents hate you….even though you reach out…& are devastated with the no contact treatment. Wow, I guess that does explain why my son won’t see me & all the stuff about his ‘safety’. It’s like he’s forgotten who I am…he is terrified of me. Thanks again…smh
….idk…if that were the case, wouldn’t gay/lesbian children be terrified of their parents? There’s definitely fear…or shame…or both, he can’t look me in the eyes, I know that, perhaps because I/us mothers can see into their soul. We have power…but we come from a place of care & concern not destruction. As Helene says, their minds have been reprogrammed
No good is coming from it that’s for sure. A backward move for the human race
Gay/lesbian are natural, trans is not. If someone has homophobic parents they might cut off contact but trans are encouraged regardless of their parents beliefs, unless they are 100% "affirming".
The shame might be because many boys get into the trans subculture through porn and develop a fetish/perversion. They know it's disgusting but by that time they are addicted and have a compulsion to "transition", which usually just means growing fake moobs to play with while masturbating. Sorry for the candour.
Helene, your life experience, plus your compassion, your insight into human nature, and your skill in expressing yourself, make you an invaluable asset to the parents who come to PITT seeking to make sense out of chaos.
Thanks again Helene. I’m not sure what to do with the info, but it really does help. Grateful you are on this forum I’m sure you get tired of constantly explaining x
I'm wishing you find strength, courage, joy and happiness in 2024. I'm wishing this for you even in the difficult wreckage of your old family ties. Make room for new sprouts to blossom. Life goes on.
I cannot express the sadness and desperation I feel for you.
I am writing because I too left for Spain from England where my husband comes from. I had a third child in Spain. It was the best day of my life. She grew up happy, went to school, made close friends, for five years and a half. My husband however wanted back to his house in England. I ended up doing all the work, chasing builders and paying. Pre covid my older daughter turned trans. A year ago, and to me this is the worst, my youngest daughter, the one who is born in Spain told me that she struggled during eight years to make sense of British culture. I shall never forgive myself.
We do have to forgive ourselves because we didn't intend to hurt our children. Quite the contrary. I know one shouldn't compare. Even though what I have seen supporting refugees on the European borders and at the Mediterranean... If they survive facing later discrimination of all sorts they still keep hoping and fighting. In comparison what had our children to endure. Don't get me wrong I don't want to belittle their suffering.
It sounds like you moved back to England to keep your family together. You made a decision based on the information you had , with best intentions. There is no way to know how things would have worked out otherwise. I hope you can forgive yourself (and your younger daughter may still grow to love British culture. Immigration is never easy). Hugs.
It’s hard to ‘like’ this post because it has so much sadness. I’m sorry you’re suffering for doing nothing wrong. Hope you find the strength to find some happiness for yourself.
2022 holiday season, I sat at home thinking maybe someone will show...I cried All day alone.
2023 holiday season, The second Christmas without my baby girl. There are some still in my life that count on me, I faked it till I didnt destroy Jesus's birthday. I waited to see if maybe she would come home. I haven't been to church since the last Sunday in November. Still Faking it because I can't fall apart.
The one thing I learned these past three years, THE MORE YOU SUFFER THE GREATER THE DESTINY THAT WAS STOLEN FROM YOU...The enemy comes to destroy us because we are his Enemy. The enemy keeps us in bondage and away from the life we were supposed to have. I AM RECLAIMING MY DESTINY, through my Lord Jesus Christ who is my footprints in the sand, my savior, and my strength.
WE WILL WIN THIS FIGHT! So cry, keep written record and proof, your gonna need it. Pray, Praying, Prayed! Dont Give Up, Keep Playing...
Highly recommend the book "Seasons of Sorrow" by Tim Challies.
While it was not about a transgender son but one who passed away... he is a terrific writer and I have found great comfort in many things he shared in the book. What sticks with me and resonates most deeply is to "steward our great losses well".
Oh David Jeremiah is a wonderful Pastor and writer!
I live in the San Diego region so we are blessed with his church in our county… It's too far for me to attend but we have many stories of his direct influence upon others.
And I completely understand your last sentence...His power is only made strong in our weakness.
1 Peter 5:10-11
“But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you. To Him be the glory and the dominion forever and ever. Amen.”
Don't give up. I know you're in a dark place now. I learned this little ditty years ago at a church meeting. I guess you can make up your own tune... "I can see you, in the future, and you look much better than you look right now."
bless you friend. You've been through a lot. We have too. Some definitely more than others. Please choose to keep going.
This story is so sad and full of trauma that it is hard to find words of comfort except to say that you are not alone in your pain and grief when it comes to your children. I hope you can take care of yourself and give yourself grace. And I pray you can hang in there until your twins come to their senses.
I don't know who had startet this forum but given the opportunity to express one's experiences and get such warm hearted reactions is indeed a great comfort.
H.O.P.E. = Holding On with Patient Expectancy. Hope is an optimistic state of mind that is based on an expectation of positive outcomes with respect to events and circumstances in one's life or the world at large. [1] As a verb, its definitions include: "expect with confidence" and "to cherish a desire with anticipation" Never give up! It is the one thing that this evil trans cult cannot take from us. It is the very core of our fight.
I’m sorry for your situation mine was very similar but I lived in California all my life. My father was abusive and killed my mother. I didn’t come from low income family. He had a lot of money and he had a lot of power to hurt us. But, I’m sorry you went through what you did, our children are just being brainwashed by this gender ideology Nightmare. Continuous lies and they just can’t see out of it. Amazingly they trust other people more than their parents. I don’t know what that means. I just know that when MY SON told me ...”look at Caitlin Jenner, how he lived all his life wanting to be a woman”And I said well he lived all his life as a man and had 5 children and a family and a loving family and then he went off and did that so that doesn’t make sense. Something you wont have if you go down this road, Of course my son dismissed me. He said he had already thought about that, and he’s paying $500 a month to have his sperm frozen. I was at a loss for woods. I believe I said so you know it’s wrong then he didn’t listen!
I’m so sorry that you have had and continue to have to endure such heartbreak! I feel your pain so intensely through your writing! My daughter has been on T for almost 2 1/2 yrs and every time I look at her, my heart breaks. The damage is permanent. She will never look like a man but will never look like or sound like the woman she was created to be again. Her mental health issues extensive. None being addressed. Transition fixes everything they think! It hasn’t! The self loathing remains! All we can see is the little child we gave birth to and wonder what would have been. The uni here in Canada hands out cross sex hormones like candy. Once she turned 18, I lost the battle. I’m the only one who tells her the truth. The others cower and affirm. It’s a lonely place to be. Out on an island alone it feels like. Right now we maintain contact. She has cut me out of her life for periods of time. I understand what it’s like as a mother to have your child hate you and having a father and every other relative affirm to avoid conflict. I wish I could turn back time too! I blame myself. As mothers we always do! I can’t fix this. I can’t fix her. They are adults now but not really with the power to make life altering decisions with an under developed brain. All we have left is hope I guess. I’m a realist! Hope disappeared a long time ago. I pray that your son comes back to you as I hope my daughter comes back to me. All I can do is pray every day. I have nothing else to hold onto. Sending you hugs and the comfort of knowing that you are not alone. We all know your grief. The losses are too many to count. At least we have a forum to discuss openly what we are not allowed to say out loud in Society. I am grateful to all of the parents whose post and who share their stories for saving me every day.
Thanks for sharing on this forum. I appreciate being able to say what I dare not say out loud in society. Sharing thoughts with understanding people gives us courage to cope.
That is quite a sad story - like so many. I have to confess as you told it, I made an assumption that it would be your daughter that 'did the trans thing.' But I should not have been fooled. It is indicative of the 'turn on a time' story we have heard over and over. There was simply nothing there - until there was trans - and then it is a downward spiral for all including the families. My own story is a 'turn on a dime,' good relationship until trans one. I pray both your children see in time that living under the influence of pharmaceuticals, whether psyche meds or trans meds, is not the best way to be human. Feeling reality is part of being human even though it is hard. I will forego the German proverb though. Have faith!
It seems Germany never fails in it's abundance of terrible ideas, from Klaus Schwab and WEF to Hitler, Marx and so many others. They destroyed Christianity and kept it alive with a state sponsored tax on their citizens. Once you hang someone like Dietrich Bonhoeffer and commit millions of other atrocities what's left.
I will never abandon hope for my daughter now bearded and breastless, even when I die because she knows what I hoped for, therefore my hope will live on.
The Bible says that hope is the confident expectation of what God has promised. It says that those who hope in the Lord will be strengthened, happy, and guided. It says that hope should lead to praise, rejoicing, patience, and prayer.
Jeremiah 29:11: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”
Romans 15:13: “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit”
Romans 12:12: “Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer”
Hebrews 11:1: “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen”
Isaiah 40:31: “But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint”
You are very right about Germany not missing anything evil. This year we will have some elections and the fascists party AfD probably will win the majority. Plans to deport millions of Germans have been published recently. History repeating itself?!
"The AfD won't change its position on immigration policy because of a single opinion at a non-AfD meeting," a spokesperson told news outlet Reuters. "We protect everyone — regardless of origin, skin color or how uncomfortable someone is for fanatics with assimilation fantasies," said Scholz. Mass-migration to Germany has become one of the most hotly contested issues in the country as its generous asylum and refugee policies have allowed millions to enter. Scholz himself has stated that "too many are coming" in recent years as the nation's social systems are reaching critical levels under the strain of surging arrivals. Strong Nations are best for the world. Each Nation is a laboratory where best policies can be instituted and seen for what is best for the nation and it's people. Hungary seems to be doing quite well IMO.
This whole darn world is one hot mess. It's broken. I wonder if there's anywhere left to go or any chance of a turning back the clock? I think not, I think we possibly could be in the time of sorrows, for that is what my heart surely feels 💔
Really heartbreaking story, I'm sorry that you've gone through it. God bless you...
The description of your life can definitely compete for the cake in the category of heartbreaking stories.
I'm truly sorry for all the suffering you had to endure. You were beyond brave to choose life for your twins after experiencing a terribly painful childhood. You gave them a chance at life- regardless of what they did with your gift- and you have been and still are a wonderful mom.
Both your kids have bought in horrific lies, each their own way. It's not the loving caring son you knew who is talking to you and treating you with so much anger and disrespect . It's the demonic trans cultic zombie that has taken over him.
Your son is not dead but he's sleeping. Things need to fall into place for him to awake from his trans coma. And it doesn't depend on you. I was in that " coma" for nearly 10 years before slowing reverting to the decently good hearted girl I had always been. From your own admission, there are lots of things you dislike about and disagree with your birth culture. Therefore, do not fall into the lies of a German proverb that says that given enough time and pain, hope will surely die. Hope never dies. If it could die, the very word would have disappeared long ago in the midst of all the terrible crisis humanity has been through.
The gender craze is another one of those,and we happen to be living during that time. I believe nobody is born in a specific time of history by accident. Don't lose hope. Hold strong, it will never depart from you. I'm a living example that there is always hope.
You're a great writer. The world has a lot to learn from your resilience, your moral strength and your...hope. How about writing a book?
The fact you always kept going despite the abuse, the excruciating pain, the abandonment...is an inspiration. Your sadness can be turned into greatness and become a meaningful witness to this crazy world. Miracles still happen. What seemed to have been turned into immovable stones can be reborn into life. I have seen it happened over and over. Keep your hope. It's your biggest strength.
Sending lots of love your way.
You are wise beyond your years ❤
Dearest Helene, I love your writing! You seem to have a wonderful sense of humor and a great analyzing mind. That combined make your comforting words so effective! You are probably right that hope is a never dying notion. I guess you can feel hopeless about one thing and yet hopefull in others. Like looking forward to start gardening next spring. The ability to face the deepest sorrows is strength. I am convinced of that because it is an expression of deeply felt love. I wonder what your " coma" looked like and more importantly if you are well and not too wounded, surrounded by loving people. That I really hope. Funny and flattering you saying that I am good writer. I felt somewhat embarrassed writing in English. You yourself are a good writer! Maybe we should write a book together. A warm bear hug from snowy Germany.
Hope never dies, that's for sure:)
I like your comparison with gardening. It's a lot like it. From the surface, it looks bare and dead. But under, it's bursting with life and the patient expectancy of a renewal, a new life.
English is my third language, you would not enjoy writing a book with me:)
Thanks for your warm hugs.
Helene, what wonderful encouragement are your words to this desperate writer. You are right about "hope." And I found this especially encouraging to me: "Your son is not dead but he's sleeping. Things need to fall into place for him to awake from his trans coma." So thanks for the hope! I am waiting for those "things" to "fall into place...with HOPE.
Helene, your reply is interesting, especially the part about sleeping & the ‘demonic trans zombie taking over’ & not to give up hope. What I don’t understand is the, as you say almost demonic personality change & voracity of meanness that is thrown at the non affirming parent, when to others, they are their old nice self, & most seem to be holding down jobs…
My son recently detransitioned, and was estranged for over a year. He was horrible to us. He is no longer angry with us and is his old self again. He is also very apologetic how he treated us. He believed we were bad people. He now realizes we loved him and we were just trying to protect him. He understands it now. Don’t give up hope. Your sweet son is still there.
I am so happy for you getting your son back and hope your relationship keeps healing!
Thank you for sharing! I needed a little hope!
As Helena said “miracles do happen!” Needed to hear that. So happy for you both Claire and BrownWoolHat!
Same with me Claire with my son. It can happen. When you're in the middle of it, it seems so far away... until it's not. Keeping hoping and praying.
Gosh, really? It’s been such a long time. My husband keeps saying, just be patient, the vitriol & departure just seems to get stronger, but you have given me hope 🙏
Because trans identifying people are brainwashed with the fat lie that anybody who does not affirm your newfound trans identity- and I mean anybody, parents who have always showered you with their love, your best friend of 17 years, grandma who was always your confident you trusted with your life...- hates you with the same hatred that Nazis had for the jews and wants you dead, either by pushing you to suicide or by belonging to the transphobic haters that want to genocide us all (trans people).
If you believed, without the shadow of a doubt and with a religious fervor that someone is feigning to love and care for you because they have a hidden and dark agenda to destroy you, wouldn't you lash out at that person, be very mean or nasty, insult them and overall wish them dead and let them know, given how dangerous you believe they are to your survival?
And you would do that while still maintaining a certain level of composure with others who have not " declared " their " hatred" and could even be possible allies. I remember the sad story of that dad who heard somebody trying to enter his house through the front door. He shot the soon- to-be intruder through the door, killing his only beloved son who had forgotten his house key and didn't want to wake up his dad in the middle of the night.
At the end, dad was so persuaded that whoever was outside the door was a dangerous intruder who would potentially kill him that he killed him first.
The factual truth that it was his son behind the door made no difference.
Trans identifying people who feel threatened in their identity will shoot through the door first.
Regardless of who stands behind...
Helene, I really appreciate your input in trying to explain that. So while you're ‘ in the cult’ so to speak, you really think that your parents hate you….even though you reach out…& are devastated with the no contact treatment. Wow, I guess that does explain why my son won’t see me & all the stuff about his ‘safety’. It’s like he’s forgotten who I am…he is terrified of me. Thanks again…smh
I think they are especially scared of us moms because we remind them about the truth of nature and how reproduction works.
….idk…if that were the case, wouldn’t gay/lesbian children be terrified of their parents? There’s definitely fear…or shame…or both, he can’t look me in the eyes, I know that, perhaps because I/us mothers can see into their soul. We have power…but we come from a place of care & concern not destruction. As Helene says, their minds have been reprogrammed
No good is coming from it that’s for sure. A backward move for the human race
Gay/lesbian are natural, trans is not. If someone has homophobic parents they might cut off contact but trans are encouraged regardless of their parents beliefs, unless they are 100% "affirming".
The shame might be because many boys get into the trans subculture through porn and develop a fetish/perversion. They know it's disgusting but by that time they are addicted and have a compulsion to "transition", which usually just means growing fake moobs to play with while masturbating. Sorry for the candour.
I'm sorry you're going through that.
Your son sincerely believe you're unsafe and a risk to his life.
His mind is not his own. It has been captured and reprogrammed.
It will not always be like that.
It's hard to live a lie day in day out...
Best wishes
Helene, your life experience, plus your compassion, your insight into human nature, and your skill in expressing yourself, make you an invaluable asset to the parents who come to PITT seeking to make sense out of chaos.
Thank you.
Thanks!
I appreciate your kind words:)
Compliments are in short supply in my life. Insults and belittling is more my lot...
Thanks again Helene. I’m not sure what to do with the info, but it really does help. Grateful you are on this forum I’m sure you get tired of constantly explaining x
I'm wishing you find strength, courage, joy and happiness in 2024. I'm wishing this for you even in the difficult wreckage of your old family ties. Make room for new sprouts to blossom. Life goes on.
I cannot express the sadness and desperation I feel for you.
I am writing because I too left for Spain from England where my husband comes from. I had a third child in Spain. It was the best day of my life. She grew up happy, went to school, made close friends, for five years and a half. My husband however wanted back to his house in England. I ended up doing all the work, chasing builders and paying. Pre covid my older daughter turned trans. A year ago, and to me this is the worst, my youngest daughter, the one who is born in Spain told me that she struggled during eight years to make sense of British culture. I shall never forgive myself.
We do have to forgive ourselves because we didn't intend to hurt our children. Quite the contrary. I know one shouldn't compare. Even though what I have seen supporting refugees on the European borders and at the Mediterranean... If they survive facing later discrimination of all sorts they still keep hoping and fighting. In comparison what had our children to endure. Don't get me wrong I don't want to belittle their suffering.
It sounds like you moved back to England to keep your family together. You made a decision based on the information you had , with best intentions. There is no way to know how things would have worked out otherwise. I hope you can forgive yourself (and your younger daughter may still grow to love British culture. Immigration is never easy). Hugs.
It’s hard to ‘like’ this post because it has so much sadness. I’m sorry you’re suffering for doing nothing wrong. Hope you find the strength to find some happiness for yourself.
My feelings exactly.
2022 holiday season, I sat at home thinking maybe someone will show...I cried All day alone.
2023 holiday season, The second Christmas without my baby girl. There are some still in my life that count on me, I faked it till I didnt destroy Jesus's birthday. I waited to see if maybe she would come home. I haven't been to church since the last Sunday in November. Still Faking it because I can't fall apart.
The one thing I learned these past three years, THE MORE YOU SUFFER THE GREATER THE DESTINY THAT WAS STOLEN FROM YOU...The enemy comes to destroy us because we are his Enemy. The enemy keeps us in bondage and away from the life we were supposed to have. I AM RECLAIMING MY DESTINY, through my Lord Jesus Christ who is my footprints in the sand, my savior, and my strength.
WE WILL WIN THIS FIGHT! So cry, keep written record and proof, your gonna need it. Pray, Praying, Prayed! Dont Give Up, Keep Playing...
Highly recommend the book "Seasons of Sorrow" by Tim Challies.
While it was not about a transgender son but one who passed away... he is a terrific writer and I have found great comfort in many things he shared in the book. What sticks with me and resonates most deeply is to "steward our great losses well".
I am learning.
Prayers for you.🙏
I will look into this book.
I read a lot of Dr. David Jeremiah's books. When Your World Falls Apart and many more.
Thank you for your prayers, they truely are worth more than gold. I am finding out what strength through weakness is really about.
Oh David Jeremiah is a wonderful Pastor and writer!
I live in the San Diego region so we are blessed with his church in our county… It's too far for me to attend but we have many stories of his direct influence upon others.
And I completely understand your last sentence...His power is only made strong in our weakness.
1 Peter 5:10-11
“But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you. To Him be the glory and the dominion forever and ever. Amen.”
🙏🙏🙏
Amen!
Don't give up. I know you're in a dark place now. I learned this little ditty years ago at a church meeting. I guess you can make up your own tune... "I can see you, in the future, and you look much better than you look right now."
bless you friend. You've been through a lot. We have too. Some definitely more than others. Please choose to keep going.
This story is so sad and full of trauma that it is hard to find words of comfort except to say that you are not alone in your pain and grief when it comes to your children. I hope you can take care of yourself and give yourself grace. And I pray you can hang in there until your twins come to their senses.
I don't know who had startet this forum but given the opportunity to express one's experiences and get such warm hearted reactions is indeed a great comfort.
H.O.P.E. = Holding On with Patient Expectancy. Hope is an optimistic state of mind that is based on an expectation of positive outcomes with respect to events and circumstances in one's life or the world at large. [1] As a verb, its definitions include: "expect with confidence" and "to cherish a desire with anticipation" Never give up! It is the one thing that this evil trans cult cannot take from us. It is the very core of our fight.
Don’t give up! No matter how bleak it looks, just know you are loved, and as long as you’re alive, it CAN get better.
I’m sorry for your situation mine was very similar but I lived in California all my life. My father was abusive and killed my mother. I didn’t come from low income family. He had a lot of money and he had a lot of power to hurt us. But, I’m sorry you went through what you did, our children are just being brainwashed by this gender ideology Nightmare. Continuous lies and they just can’t see out of it. Amazingly they trust other people more than their parents. I don’t know what that means. I just know that when MY SON told me ...”look at Caitlin Jenner, how he lived all his life wanting to be a woman”And I said well he lived all his life as a man and had 5 children and a family and a loving family and then he went off and did that so that doesn’t make sense. Something you wont have if you go down this road, Of course my son dismissed me. He said he had already thought about that, and he’s paying $500 a month to have his sperm frozen. I was at a loss for woods. I believe I said so you know it’s wrong then he didn’t listen!
I’m so sorry that you have had and continue to have to endure such heartbreak! I feel your pain so intensely through your writing! My daughter has been on T for almost 2 1/2 yrs and every time I look at her, my heart breaks. The damage is permanent. She will never look like a man but will never look like or sound like the woman she was created to be again. Her mental health issues extensive. None being addressed. Transition fixes everything they think! It hasn’t! The self loathing remains! All we can see is the little child we gave birth to and wonder what would have been. The uni here in Canada hands out cross sex hormones like candy. Once she turned 18, I lost the battle. I’m the only one who tells her the truth. The others cower and affirm. It’s a lonely place to be. Out on an island alone it feels like. Right now we maintain contact. She has cut me out of her life for periods of time. I understand what it’s like as a mother to have your child hate you and having a father and every other relative affirm to avoid conflict. I wish I could turn back time too! I blame myself. As mothers we always do! I can’t fix this. I can’t fix her. They are adults now but not really with the power to make life altering decisions with an under developed brain. All we have left is hope I guess. I’m a realist! Hope disappeared a long time ago. I pray that your son comes back to you as I hope my daughter comes back to me. All I can do is pray every day. I have nothing else to hold onto. Sending you hugs and the comfort of knowing that you are not alone. We all know your grief. The losses are too many to count. At least we have a forum to discuss openly what we are not allowed to say out loud in Society. I am grateful to all of the parents whose post and who share their stories for saving me every day.
Thanks for sharing on this forum. I appreciate being able to say what I dare not say out loud in society. Sharing thoughts with understanding people gives us courage to cope.
I’m so sorry. It’s so heartbreaking. This cult is pure evil and it destroys everything it touches. It’s hard, but there is always hope.
That is quite a sad story - like so many. I have to confess as you told it, I made an assumption that it would be your daughter that 'did the trans thing.' But I should not have been fooled. It is indicative of the 'turn on a time' story we have heard over and over. There was simply nothing there - until there was trans - and then it is a downward spiral for all including the families. My own story is a 'turn on a dime,' good relationship until trans one. I pray both your children see in time that living under the influence of pharmaceuticals, whether psyche meds or trans meds, is not the best way to be human. Feeling reality is part of being human even though it is hard. I will forego the German proverb though. Have faith!
Don't let hope die. Keep it alive. You have survived worse.