For two years I could not look away from the governor of Florida’s response to the global pandemic. It felt like I was watching a train wreck in slow motion. I knew I shouldn’t read his tweets about how we didn’t need to wear masks, but I couldn’t look away, rubbernecking from several states up north. When the vaccine finally came out, I was so relieved, and I immediately signed on to get vaccinated, and later boosted. My family members in Florida did not; while some fell ill, some did not. They merely went about their lives, unmasked, ignoring this global health crisis, arguing that they knew what was best. I continued to listen to their governor with alarm, disagreeing with almost all he said.
I’ve made a similar shift since becoming an ROGD parent — especially the disappointment in organizations I long defended and funded. As my parents used to say when as children my sister and I would fight, each of us telling a very different story: The truth is usually somewhere in the middle. I no longer blindly support or dismiss the left or right, liberal or conservative, CNN or Fox. Truth tellers are hard to find.
Thanks for this. One thing about the Loudoun parents you may be unaware of, since you linked to the very misleading Washington Post article about it - part of the reason they got so upset is that a trans-identified boy raped a girl in a girls’ bathroom, it was covered up by the school, he was transferred to another school and then allegedly did the same thing there.
My child self-identifying as trans has also left me in a congnitive political dissonance. I had a similar conversation in my head just last night, before falling asleep. It is a very stressful state of being, when you are forced to question everything you used to know and believe. I think our children are going through the same process. It took me some time to realize what CRT actually was--a neo Marxist anti-liberal ideology. Ideological brainwashing is not unique to the trans ideology. Helen Pluckrose (Cynical Theories), James Lindsay (New Discourses on youtube), Ryan Chapman (on youtube, for balanced quick summaries), among others are a must to read and listen to. And Jordan Peterson. Oh, how passionately I used to HATE Jordan Peterson. I love your essay, as it resonates so much, but it also leaves me utterly hopeless and defeated, if we (parents of gender questioning kids) continue to consider CRT as different from TRA...
No, actually not. Because, if you understand the basic underpinnings of them, they are fruits of the same rotten tree, the tree of post-modernist thinking. CRT is all about inverting the power relationships between races. I call it "retributive racism", as it involves basically racism AGAINST white people to "get back" at them for the "sins of the father". Trannyism is all about inverting the relationship of the sexes. In today's world of the Culture of Victimhood, the strongest are the weakest of the previous time. If you are in a "marginalized" group, this gives you the power of outrage. You can "rise up" to "fight the paternity" and show how "brave" and "courageous" you are. Unless, of course, you ARE the paternity - white male normalsex. In that case, you are in the most hated group. White female normalsex are almost as hated. So, how do you gain the coveted and desired status of "victim"? By assuming the trannyism label - you go from "most hated" to "most marginal" immediately.
And I forgot one thing - trannyism is also about inverting the power structure of the family. By assuming the tranny, the teen takes the power in the situation, claiming that he will commit suicide, she will harm herself. The parent is then completely unable to function or think. The parent gives in, and the teen takes over.
It's called "taking the red pill". You think that you have a certain view, then all of a sudden you realize that others with that view are destroying your child, and CALLING IT GOOD.
I hope the author realizes that DeSantis is the strongest and fairest governor we have in the entire nation, and his approach to the pandemic was measured and appropriate. I hope the author realizes that they are “naive” about coronavirus in the same way they claim other liberals are “naive” about the dangers of gender ideology being forced on children.
I wrote this to try and muddy the waters, and to explain a personal journey that has led to a revisiting of prior beliefs. As I read the comments, though, there is so much political vitriol.
I really hope this space can be open to comments and that we can support each other. Our individual beliefs and priorities will be different from one another, but here we are trying to find some common ground. It will likely be more effective than alienating people. You catch more flies with honey …
I don't see the vitriol. (Granted I haven't gotten all the way through) I just see people also sharing their point of views on the subjects you brought up.
I don't see the vitriol. I used to think "well, maybe the trannie pimps are well-meaning".
They are trying to push what is equivalent to the Tide-pod challenge on our children. If you buy their insanity, you cut your boobs off or penis off. That's not acceptable.
Thank you for sharing your pesonal journey, something so many of us can relate to. I just read through all the comments, and unless some were removed, I haven't perceived any as "political vitriol." Everyone has been passionate, but respectful. One very important lesson I learned is that disagreement (e.i. free speech) is not violence. I'm surprised that this had to be a realization, but it was. Reading The Coddling of the American Mind helped to clear my thinking. Different opinions are not vitriol, even if we don't agree with them. My child called me transphobic when I questioned his assumptions for the first time, but never since, because I explained to him that asking challenging questions and expressing different point of views is NOT transphobic, it is essential in a free, democractic society. Just like we support our children without affirming, we can support each other without agreeing with each other's political beliefs, but free speech is an absolute must.
"The covid denier comments are not worth reading". This comment is dangerously close to the comments you'd see from TRA on any article written by Erica Anderson, questioning puberty blockers and medicalization of minors. I even copied some in a note book, to regularly read to my kids, reminding them that this is what Woke Mindset is and does. One example, almost verbatim, is quite typical "Why have you opened comments on this article? People will be negative and disagree. There should be no discussion." In addition, Covid Denier is another demeaning blanket term to throw around, just like Transphob, that is basically a thought terminating cliche, drenched in derision. However, if you start looking critically, transphobs are not transphobs (surprise surprise!) and "covid deniers" question the policies, not the existence of the virus. But it is very convenient to just label and suppress. What does this rhetoric teach our ROGD children??
I thought about this more and you are so right. It is the same as "you're not a transphobe are you?" Or "you're not racist are you?" And all other similar things that are designed to shut down any ppl who are simply asking questions or who have different ideas that don't follow the current narrative. It is ironic being done here where ppl already know that the current narrative is not always correct. It really shows the cognitive dissonance. It also shows the aversion that ppl have to diversity of thought. If you think differently, you must be a phobe, ist, etc. Not just a person who has different knowledge or questions thinks that make no sense. Always the negative and they must silence any dissent by labeling ppl as the lowest of the low.
It is aversion to diversity, but even more so, it is fear and thus a physiological inability to think--left and right hemispheres disconnected. We are all succeptible in times of extreme stress. Fear for our children, fear we experiece when the structures around us collapse, and we need to cling to SOMETHING. Even labour camps prisoners and cult survivors would often still justify their beliefs, because if they wouldn't they'd succumb to utter darkness and mental illness.
Ppl against CRT in schools is not blown out of proportion. At all. It is also not even close to being a "conservative" thing. Many of the ppl fighting against it are classic liberals and also libertarian. (like myself) At least you point out your cognitive dissonance. One would think you'd learn more about the arguments made by the other "side." From them, not "liberal" media. (hopefully you've noticed by now that they're not so liberal anymore. They're regressive far leftists) This is how I woke up from my, once liberal, ignorance. After a few months of learning, I couldn't lie to myself any longer. I was wrong. I've done nothing but learn since and have become more and more libertarian every day. (Small L. The libertarian party are just Democrats under a different name)
You can start by following James Lindsay (New Discourses Youtube channel and website), Chris Rufo (Youtube and a website. Not sure what else), The Reason We Learn (youtube channel, Locals, and just started a substack), Karlyn Borysenko (Youtube, Locals, and Substack) etc. and learn about the tenets of crt being taught in school and about SEL and DEI and how they're not blowing anything out of proportion.
Also, there was zero wrong with DeSantis allowing his citizens to be free. Freedom is kind of essential.
Thank you. I feel the same way. I have learned as still an avowed progressive thinker, to not fall for group messaging and group think. I take one idea at a time and filter through my own awareness and curiosity. I also want to remember that even though I am an apostate on the trans thing in my community, I will not demonize people on any side. It is what fuels these extremes and what has us flip flopping from one side to the other and keeps society from finding the sensible middle ground.
I feel like I could have written this piece word for word. I too was appalled by Desantis’s handling of Covid, and just didn’t really think he was a very good guy. But now, he’s a champion for our cause. Whatever his motivations are-I don’t care, he’s doing the right thing. I also never thought I’d watch Tucker Carleson without wanting to throw my remote at the tv or stomach the likes of Ben Shapiro but here I am. Who knew??!! This trans issue has stopped me from going into judgy autopilot when i hear right aisle views and instead actually open myself up to productive conversation and discussion. This is how we get the country back on track, look at each other as people instead of left or right.
I had the complementary political experience: finding demonstrable harm in the way children were developing due to masks (as well as utterly deficient data for the population at large), and being on the "wrong" side with respect to vaccine mandates (even though I am personally vaccinated and volunteered for the Pfizer trial) was a through the looking glass moment for me that made me start to question what I previously held as almost axiomatic truths with respect to trans medicine. I don't have a child old enough to be where you are yet, but I am here to read your truth all the same and let you know that you aren't alone... Politically or otherwise.
Oddly and sadly enough, I think you and all the parents who identify as liberal and are facing this crisis with the rest of us—conservatives, independents, libertarians, and, like me, the a-political few who just want to work, live, and treat others as they want to be treated—are the key to our collective voices being heard. It is all too easy for the people pushing this ideology to dismiss their declared enemies with snarky barbs and diminish their logical questions and counter points by labeling them as ‘phobic, privileged, or alt-right. You are the disrupters. Your political pedigree challenges their assertions that anyone who questions the absolutism of affirmative care and medicalization of children and young adults to treat gender dysphoria is a Republican, and therefore evil. This should not be distilled as a red or blue issue, but if your liberal credentials give people pause long enough to hear the truth and helps blunt the spread, wave them from the highest flagpole!
As a cult survivor, it seems like you have just had your first of many realizations that you are in a cult. Transgender ideology is the is the logical outcome of the radical far left. They are trying to change all of society under the guise of helping the disadvantaged. Time to wake up.
It is said that those of us who deny being a libertarian have yet to be confronted with the right issue. We all have a line that must not be crossed, and it looks like yours just was.
Adults -- and especially adult parents -- must be trusted to lead their own lives the way they best see fit. It is when people use government to impose their beliefs by proxy that we get into these messes.
Nothing wrong with abstinence based programs
Excellent! Thank you so much for putting this all into words so beautifully and effectively. Sharing.
I’ve made a similar shift since becoming an ROGD parent — especially the disappointment in organizations I long defended and funded. As my parents used to say when as children my sister and I would fight, each of us telling a very different story: The truth is usually somewhere in the middle. I no longer blindly support or dismiss the left or right, liberal or conservative, CNN or Fox. Truth tellers are hard to find.
Yes. The "truth is somewhere in the middle" is a line I often use. 👏🏻
This might help some. https://hollymathnerd.substack.com/p/to-my-fellow-classical-liberals?token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo1NjMzNjk4OCwicG9zdF9pZCI6NTI0Njk5MjcsIl8iOiJxeVU2VCIsImlhdCI6MTY1MDQyNzA3OSwiZXhwIjoxNjUwNDMwNjc5LCJpc3MiOiJwdWItMjQ0ODkyIiwic3ViIjoicG9zdC1yZWFjdGlvbiJ9.aR1VUL-pLHrmwvvgPim8Y2DGGWe8YZPflS24g2kJBdw&s=r
Thanks for this. One thing about the Loudoun parents you may be unaware of, since you linked to the very misleading Washington Post article about it - part of the reason they got so upset is that a trans-identified boy raped a girl in a girls’ bathroom, it was covered up by the school, he was transferred to another school and then allegedly did the same thing there.
👏🏻👏🏻
My child self-identifying as trans has also left me in a congnitive political dissonance. I had a similar conversation in my head just last night, before falling asleep. It is a very stressful state of being, when you are forced to question everything you used to know and believe. I think our children are going through the same process. It took me some time to realize what CRT actually was--a neo Marxist anti-liberal ideology. Ideological brainwashing is not unique to the trans ideology. Helen Pluckrose (Cynical Theories), James Lindsay (New Discourses on youtube), Ryan Chapman (on youtube, for balanced quick summaries), among others are a must to read and listen to. And Jordan Peterson. Oh, how passionately I used to HATE Jordan Peterson. I love your essay, as it resonates so much, but it also leaves me utterly hopeless and defeated, if we (parents of gender questioning kids) continue to consider CRT as different from TRA...
Isn't it funny that CRT and trannyism set down their roots most quickly and most securely in the same soil?
No, actually not. Because, if you understand the basic underpinnings of them, they are fruits of the same rotten tree, the tree of post-modernist thinking. CRT is all about inverting the power relationships between races. I call it "retributive racism", as it involves basically racism AGAINST white people to "get back" at them for the "sins of the father". Trannyism is all about inverting the relationship of the sexes. In today's world of the Culture of Victimhood, the strongest are the weakest of the previous time. If you are in a "marginalized" group, this gives you the power of outrage. You can "rise up" to "fight the paternity" and show how "brave" and "courageous" you are. Unless, of course, you ARE the paternity - white male normalsex. In that case, you are in the most hated group. White female normalsex are almost as hated. So, how do you gain the coveted and desired status of "victim"? By assuming the trannyism label - you go from "most hated" to "most marginal" immediately.
And I forgot one thing - trannyism is also about inverting the power structure of the family. By assuming the tranny, the teen takes the power in the situation, claiming that he will commit suicide, she will harm herself. The parent is then completely unable to function or think. The parent gives in, and the teen takes over.
It's called "taking the red pill". You think that you have a certain view, then all of a sudden you realize that others with that view are destroying your child, and CALLING IT GOOD.
I hope the author realizes that DeSantis is the strongest and fairest governor we have in the entire nation, and his approach to the pandemic was measured and appropriate. I hope the author realizes that they are “naive” about coronavirus in the same way they claim other liberals are “naive” about the dangers of gender ideology being forced on children.
Completely agree. Someone needed to take the stance. I'm in the UK and I wish we'd had someone like DeSantis here.
I wish we had more of him everywhere. 1 isn't enough. Lol
Well said.
I wrote this to try and muddy the waters, and to explain a personal journey that has led to a revisiting of prior beliefs. As I read the comments, though, there is so much political vitriol.
I really hope this space can be open to comments and that we can support each other. Our individual beliefs and priorities will be different from one another, but here we are trying to find some common ground. It will likely be more effective than alienating people. You catch more flies with honey …
I don't see the vitriol. (Granted I haven't gotten all the way through) I just see people also sharing their point of views on the subjects you brought up.
I don't see the vitriol. I used to think "well, maybe the trannie pimps are well-meaning".
They are trying to push what is equivalent to the Tide-pod challenge on our children. If you buy their insanity, you cut your boobs off or penis off. That's not acceptable.
Thank you for sharing your pesonal journey, something so many of us can relate to. I just read through all the comments, and unless some were removed, I haven't perceived any as "political vitriol." Everyone has been passionate, but respectful. One very important lesson I learned is that disagreement (e.i. free speech) is not violence. I'm surprised that this had to be a realization, but it was. Reading The Coddling of the American Mind helped to clear my thinking. Different opinions are not vitriol, even if we don't agree with them. My child called me transphobic when I questioned his assumptions for the first time, but never since, because I explained to him that asking challenging questions and expressing different point of views is NOT transphobic, it is essential in a free, democractic society. Just like we support our children without affirming, we can support each other without agreeing with each other's political beliefs, but free speech is an absolute must.
Very well said. The greatest form of diversity is diversity of thought. People's shared their own thoughts on these topics. That's all.
Thank you both for sharing your perspectives! Things started to devolve into discussing Trump.And maybe I have PTSD from those four years
"The covid denier comments are not worth reading". This comment is dangerously close to the comments you'd see from TRA on any article written by Erica Anderson, questioning puberty blockers and medicalization of minors. I even copied some in a note book, to regularly read to my kids, reminding them that this is what Woke Mindset is and does. One example, almost verbatim, is quite typical "Why have you opened comments on this article? People will be negative and disagree. There should be no discussion." In addition, Covid Denier is another demeaning blanket term to throw around, just like Transphob, that is basically a thought terminating cliche, drenched in derision. However, if you start looking critically, transphobs are not transphobs (surprise surprise!) and "covid deniers" question the policies, not the existence of the virus. But it is very convenient to just label and suppress. What does this rhetoric teach our ROGD children??
I thought about this more and you are so right. It is the same as "you're not a transphobe are you?" Or "you're not racist are you?" And all other similar things that are designed to shut down any ppl who are simply asking questions or who have different ideas that don't follow the current narrative. It is ironic being done here where ppl already know that the current narrative is not always correct. It really shows the cognitive dissonance. It also shows the aversion that ppl have to diversity of thought. If you think differently, you must be a phobe, ist, etc. Not just a person who has different knowledge or questions thinks that make no sense. Always the negative and they must silence any dissent by labeling ppl as the lowest of the low.
It is aversion to diversity, but even more so, it is fear and thus a physiological inability to think--left and right hemispheres disconnected. We are all succeptible in times of extreme stress. Fear for our children, fear we experiece when the structures around us collapse, and we need to cling to SOMETHING. Even labour camps prisoners and cult survivors would often still justify their beliefs, because if they wouldn't they'd succumb to utter darkness and mental illness.
Yea, that is a very good point. Fear is used to push ideology and ideas a lot. It is effective.
Very well said!
Who denied covid though?
Ppl against CRT in schools is not blown out of proportion. At all. It is also not even close to being a "conservative" thing. Many of the ppl fighting against it are classic liberals and also libertarian. (like myself) At least you point out your cognitive dissonance. One would think you'd learn more about the arguments made by the other "side." From them, not "liberal" media. (hopefully you've noticed by now that they're not so liberal anymore. They're regressive far leftists) This is how I woke up from my, once liberal, ignorance. After a few months of learning, I couldn't lie to myself any longer. I was wrong. I've done nothing but learn since and have become more and more libertarian every day. (Small L. The libertarian party are just Democrats under a different name)
You can start by following James Lindsay (New Discourses Youtube channel and website), Chris Rufo (Youtube and a website. Not sure what else), The Reason We Learn (youtube channel, Locals, and just started a substack), Karlyn Borysenko (Youtube, Locals, and Substack) etc. and learn about the tenets of crt being taught in school and about SEL and DEI and how they're not blowing anything out of proportion.
Also, there was zero wrong with DeSantis allowing his citizens to be free. Freedom is kind of essential.
I've gone pretty much through the same process. Thank you for listing the resources, I was familiar with only some of them.
You are very welcome. 🙏🏻
Thank you. I feel the same way. I have learned as still an avowed progressive thinker, to not fall for group messaging and group think. I take one idea at a time and filter through my own awareness and curiosity. I also want to remember that even though I am an apostate on the trans thing in my community, I will not demonize people on any side. It is what fuels these extremes and what has us flip flopping from one side to the other and keeps society from finding the sensible middle ground.
Totally agree. It's tempting to demonize, but it's what got us here in the first place, and I don't want to fall prey to that.
I feel like I could have written this piece word for word. I too was appalled by Desantis’s handling of Covid, and just didn’t really think he was a very good guy. But now, he’s a champion for our cause. Whatever his motivations are-I don’t care, he’s doing the right thing. I also never thought I’d watch Tucker Carleson without wanting to throw my remote at the tv or stomach the likes of Ben Shapiro but here I am. Who knew??!! This trans issue has stopped me from going into judgy autopilot when i hear right aisle views and instead actually open myself up to productive conversation and discussion. This is how we get the country back on track, look at each other as people instead of left or right.
Covid psyop brought to you by the same people trying to hypnotize people into changing their gender. Wake up, please.
I had the complementary political experience: finding demonstrable harm in the way children were developing due to masks (as well as utterly deficient data for the population at large), and being on the "wrong" side with respect to vaccine mandates (even though I am personally vaccinated and volunteered for the Pfizer trial) was a through the looking glass moment for me that made me start to question what I previously held as almost axiomatic truths with respect to trans medicine. I don't have a child old enough to be where you are yet, but I am here to read your truth all the same and let you know that you aren't alone... Politically or otherwise.
Oddly and sadly enough, I think you and all the parents who identify as liberal and are facing this crisis with the rest of us—conservatives, independents, libertarians, and, like me, the a-political few who just want to work, live, and treat others as they want to be treated—are the key to our collective voices being heard. It is all too easy for the people pushing this ideology to dismiss their declared enemies with snarky barbs and diminish their logical questions and counter points by labeling them as ‘phobic, privileged, or alt-right. You are the disrupters. Your political pedigree challenges their assertions that anyone who questions the absolutism of affirmative care and medicalization of children and young adults to treat gender dysphoria is a Republican, and therefore evil. This should not be distilled as a red or blue issue, but if your liberal credentials give people pause long enough to hear the truth and helps blunt the spread, wave them from the highest flagpole!
You are so right.
As a cult survivor, it seems like you have just had your first of many realizations that you are in a cult. Transgender ideology is the is the logical outcome of the radical far left. They are trying to change all of society under the guise of helping the disadvantaged. Time to wake up.
Yep.
It is said that those of us who deny being a libertarian have yet to be confronted with the right issue. We all have a line that must not be crossed, and it looks like yours just was.
Adults -- and especially adult parents -- must be trusted to lead their own lives the way they best see fit. It is when people use government to impose their beliefs by proxy that we get into these messes.