Your daughter is very lucky to have you and one day she will thank you. Keep her away from all the crazy affirming psychologist and teachers. Move if you need to save your daughter. She will outgrow this in a few years.
When I was a kid I loved being with the boys and had I been given the choice I am sure I would have said I wanted to be a boy. I was luck I never got the choice and I outgrew that stage by the time I turned 17. Today I am a very happy woman with all my parts.
"That’s why we ask cisgender people to lead the change by sharing pronouns. It normalizes the process, has little risk, and actually makes for a safer environment for everyone."
This has all the educators I know "using pronouns". Is there some way we could promote the opposite, truthful, message? This needs to be transmitted to all educators.
My son's school teachers all started using pronouns in their signatures. This is one of the things that led to me pulling him out and homeschooling. I won't have him around teachers who are pushing and promoting such a harmful ideology.
I fell into this track of "inclusivity" and was pressured by colleagues/peers where I work. I resisted for a year, then decided to add them. It felt fake. Everytime I'm on a Zoom call, I notice at least half the people have them next to their name. Even adults feel the pressure. I took them off as soon as I realized what was happening to my kid.
I read your link; so infuriating! The irony is that the opposite, truthful message is plain old objective reality. No one ever thought we'd need a think tank to defend that, let alone a K-Street lobbying team or a public-relations powerhouse. It's utter lunacy.
For what it's worth, when I was in high school, a junior, I lived in Key West, one of the eight Navy bases my father was assigned to. We were close, and Navy bases have swimming pools, which our family used consistently.
Key West has coral reefs with beautiful life-forms, and, being a bit of an Asperger's: way too smart, heavy reader, more a loner than a team member, I would swim home from the high school. about five miles, as a form of therapy from the inanity of classes. Key West is an island, and the locals are very insular- bigoted and homophobic at the time.
Oddly enough, I grew quite resentful of my body, because I couldn't stay under water permanently. It wasn't puberty that bothered me, it was circumstance.
Easier to give a child a PTSD diagnosis than help by exploring root causes of dysphoria. I wonder if children will get PTSD diagnoses if we fail to call them by their chosen name and pronouns.
Solution is hormones and surgery. Simple, no talking required. Just what the pharmaceutical companies want.
This is eugenics. Our children are not being given a chance if they will not be able to access talking therapies. We have to stop the government introducing the “conversion therapy” bill.
Our kids & we parents will wind up with "PTSD" caused by the GI Cult once it passes. And, I believe it will pass thanks in large part to PITT & Genspect. But, how many will have suffered permanent physical harm (as well as the psychological)?
Yes! We did eventually find a therapist who is willing to do the slow work with our teen. SO MUCH relief around that AND a lot of concern as the therapist is very affirming in her approach. Therapists are here to affirm and listen, but I want someone to steer a bit more.
I am not there, of course, but recommend that you think about whether the therapist could be causing more harm than good. Affirmation from an "expert" is so bad.
The affirmation model that her therapist is using is the first step before medicalization. Being affirmed is damaging your child. If not affirmed, your child ikely would've grown out of it. Affirmation makes it very unlikely.
Please share evidence. This feels alarming. Affirming means chosen name at this point (which is not a boys name but a generic one). With my rebellious child, a total shut down will likely push them away.
Yes, it is social transition. It tells them that what they're feeling is true and possible. It is like giving them permission to continue to the next step. It is reinforcing their perception of reality.
When left alone(watchful waiting model), they would grow out of it something like, 80-90% of the time. That drops significantly when affirmed.
I'm surprised you don't know this. You read all of the PITT articles where it is discussed often. Here is an article that explains it and has a study that shows persistence with the affirmation model:
Affirmation gaslights the kids. It tells them that the cult religion of cis & trans is Truth and then medical steps are not such a big deal. Every time a new religion has come about the people following it don't say "Hey, we have a new religion." They say "Truth has been revealed." People will do anything to themselves physically if the mind and heart have been converted. This is a separate issue from some middle aged men with a psychological issue needing individualized treatment. Transwoman Debbie Hayton who says "Trans women are men" seems to grasp this and explain it well.
It's good it's not a boy's name. I hope they are not calling your daughter "he" at school. I'd recommend that parents calmly call her by her real name no matter what other people do. Girls who get out of this say that having parents not affirm is an anchor to reality even if they seemed to fight it at the time - just the fact that you are not endorsing it in that way. And, they need to hear their name. I don't know how old your daughter is, but it's normal for a young person to rebel a little. It doesn't mean parents have to go along with everything they say. I don't think we have a study on this one. (Maybe we do?) It's from reading so many stories out there. I don't mean to be bossy...
Affirmation is a major psychological intervention. I'm not sure I'd stay with that therapist? Maybe it would be better for your teen to go to work on a horse farm/get some sort of job in nature?
Yes! I'm excited to share good news, for a change: on the "Gender: A Wider Lens" Podcast, episode 54, which was released on 12/17/21, Sasha and Stella announced a new provider directory they've begun. You should listen to the whole podcast (and really, the whole series), but the main takeaway is that you can now find a therapist for your child who meets the criteria of NON-automatic affirmation, and of exploring all the child's co-morbitities with a reality-based approach. The directory is called GETA, for Gender Exploratory Therapy Association, and you can find it on the Genspect website. It's in early stages, so there aren't hundreds of listings yet, but I can report that I found a new therapist for my daughter on GETA; I spoke with her for a half hour consult and liked her, so I connected her with my daughter. They've now had the first session and my daughter's reaction was 100% positive. This gives me so much optimism I can't even tell you! I'm thrilled to pass this info on to all the parents reading this, and I wish you luck!
I am glad to hear this. Be watchful of the therapist avoiding accusations of conversion therapy. Let the community know every stage of your daughter's deprogramming.
Talk about thalidomide, DES, (diethylsilbestrol) and electric shock and lobotomies, all medical failures and scandals see the concepts in a post on this in my blog
Your daughter is very lucky to have you and one day she will thank you. Keep her away from all the crazy affirming psychologist and teachers. Move if you need to save your daughter. She will outgrow this in a few years.
When I was a kid I loved being with the boys and had I been given the choice I am sure I would have said I wanted to be a boy. I was luck I never got the choice and I outgrew that stage by the time I turned 17. Today I am a very happy woman with all my parts.
I feel that we need to address this "pronoun thing" head on. The bad guys have consultants in NYC:
https://medium.com/gender-inclusivit/why-i-put-pronouns-on-my-email-signature-and-linkedin-profile-and-you-should-too-d3dc942c8743
"That’s why we ask cisgender people to lead the change by sharing pronouns. It normalizes the process, has little risk, and actually makes for a safer environment for everyone."
This has all the educators I know "using pronouns". Is there some way we could promote the opposite, truthful, message? This needs to be transmitted to all educators.
My son's school teachers all started using pronouns in their signatures. This is one of the things that led to me pulling him out and homeschooling. I won't have him around teachers who are pushing and promoting such a harmful ideology.
I fell into this track of "inclusivity" and was pressured by colleagues/peers where I work. I resisted for a year, then decided to add them. It felt fake. Everytime I'm on a Zoom call, I notice at least half the people have them next to their name. Even adults feel the pressure. I took them off as soon as I realized what was happening to my kid.
Right! That is why we need a counter campaign to get the word out that "cis" is a cult term and "using pronouns" is harmful.
I read your link; so infuriating! The irony is that the opposite, truthful message is plain old objective reality. No one ever thought we'd need a think tank to defend that, let alone a K-Street lobbying team or a public-relations powerhouse. It's utter lunacy.
I agree. Yet, here we are. The bad guys/mentally ill/profiteers have been well funded and sly.
Well written.
For what it's worth, when I was in high school, a junior, I lived in Key West, one of the eight Navy bases my father was assigned to. We were close, and Navy bases have swimming pools, which our family used consistently.
Key West has coral reefs with beautiful life-forms, and, being a bit of an Asperger's: way too smart, heavy reader, more a loner than a team member, I would swim home from the high school. about five miles, as a form of therapy from the inanity of classes. Key West is an island, and the locals are very insular- bigoted and homophobic at the time.
Oddly enough, I grew quite resentful of my body, because I couldn't stay under water permanently. It wasn't puberty that bothered me, it was circumstance.
You do sound like you were in one of the many categories of young people who today are vulnerable to GI.
Easier to give a child a PTSD diagnosis than help by exploring root causes of dysphoria. I wonder if children will get PTSD diagnoses if we fail to call them by their chosen name and pronouns.
Solution is hormones and surgery. Simple, no talking required. Just what the pharmaceutical companies want.
This is eugenics. Our children are not being given a chance if they will not be able to access talking therapies. We have to stop the government introducing the “conversion therapy” bill.
Our kids & we parents will wind up with "PTSD" caused by the GI Cult once it passes. And, I believe it will pass thanks in large part to PITT & Genspect. But, how many will have suffered permanent physical harm (as well as the psychological)?
Yes! We did eventually find a therapist who is willing to do the slow work with our teen. SO MUCH relief around that AND a lot of concern as the therapist is very affirming in her approach. Therapists are here to affirm and listen, but I want someone to steer a bit more.
I am not there, of course, but recommend that you think about whether the therapist could be causing more harm than good. Affirmation from an "expert" is so bad.
The affirmation model that her therapist is using is the first step before medicalization. Being affirmed is damaging your child. If not affirmed, your child ikely would've grown out of it. Affirmation makes it very unlikely.
I completely agree. First it's the mind and heart of the child that is changed. Then, medicalization follows.
Yes, exactly. It reinforces that what they're feeling is real.
Please share evidence. This feels alarming. Affirming means chosen name at this point (which is not a boys name but a generic one). With my rebellious child, a total shut down will likely push them away.
Yes, it is social transition. It tells them that what they're feeling is true and possible. It is like giving them permission to continue to the next step. It is reinforcing their perception of reality.
When left alone(watchful waiting model), they would grow out of it something like, 80-90% of the time. That drops significantly when affirmed.
I'm surprised you don't know this. You read all of the PITT articles where it is discussed often. Here is an article that explains it and has a study that shows persistence with the affirmation model:
https://www.transgendertrend.com/gender-affirmative-affirmation-approach/
Here is this:
https://gender-a-wider-lens.captivate.fm/episode/40-social-transition-a-powerful-psychosocial-intervention
This (look for the social transition part)
https://www.statsforgender.org
Affirmation gaslights the kids. It tells them that the cult religion of cis & trans is Truth and then medical steps are not such a big deal. Every time a new religion has come about the people following it don't say "Hey, we have a new religion." They say "Truth has been revealed." People will do anything to themselves physically if the mind and heart have been converted. This is a separate issue from some middle aged men with a psychological issue needing individualized treatment. Transwoman Debbie Hayton who says "Trans women are men" seems to grasp this and explain it well.
Yes, exactly. That's a good way to put it.
It's good it's not a boy's name. I hope they are not calling your daughter "he" at school. I'd recommend that parents calmly call her by her real name no matter what other people do. Girls who get out of this say that having parents not affirm is an anchor to reality even if they seemed to fight it at the time - just the fact that you are not endorsing it in that way. And, they need to hear their name. I don't know how old your daughter is, but it's normal for a young person to rebel a little. It doesn't mean parents have to go along with everything they say. I don't think we have a study on this one. (Maybe we do?) It's from reading so many stories out there. I don't mean to be bossy...
Please see my reply to Dances-with-Words below. It may be helpful!
Affirmation is a major psychological intervention. I'm not sure I'd stay with that therapist? Maybe it would be better for your teen to go to work on a horse farm/get some sort of job in nature?
Here is a post I wrote on this very topic
https://uteheggengrasswidow.wordpress.com/2022/01/23/what-every-gender-therapist-should-be-doing-for-a-child-in-crisis/
I wish I knew how to find a therapist who wouldn't just see transitioning as the solution to complex mental health issues. Do they even exist anymore?
Yes! I'm excited to share good news, for a change: on the "Gender: A Wider Lens" Podcast, episode 54, which was released on 12/17/21, Sasha and Stella announced a new provider directory they've begun. You should listen to the whole podcast (and really, the whole series), but the main takeaway is that you can now find a therapist for your child who meets the criteria of NON-automatic affirmation, and of exploring all the child's co-morbitities with a reality-based approach. The directory is called GETA, for Gender Exploratory Therapy Association, and you can find it on the Genspect website. It's in early stages, so there aren't hundreds of listings yet, but I can report that I found a new therapist for my daughter on GETA; I spoke with her for a half hour consult and liked her, so I connected her with my daughter. They've now had the first session and my daughter's reaction was 100% positive. This gives me so much optimism I can't even tell you! I'm thrilled to pass this info on to all the parents reading this, and I wish you luck!
I am glad to hear this. Be watchful of the therapist avoiding accusations of conversion therapy. Let the community know every stage of your daughter's deprogramming.
That's so great to hear! I LOVE that podcast. Just checked out the resources, and none are in our community yet, but I'll keep checking!
Talk about thalidomide, DES, (diethylsilbestrol) and electric shock and lobotomies, all medical failures and scandals see the concepts in a post on this in my blog
https://uteheggengrasswidow.wordpress.com/2022/01/23/what-every-gender-therapist-should-be-doing-for-a-child-in-crisis/
Thank you…
for answering your daughter’s call
for asking aloud the right questions
for seeing truth beyond the fog
for showing others they are not alone
for leading the way
This is the beginning of a new path forward.
The medical community and therapists ARE stepping up in large part because of parents like YOU. Blessings.
These are truly inconvenient truths.
Thank you for your brave and honest words. I agree with every single word