I’m an older transitioner, around middle age. I transitioned from male to female and got surgery in my 30s after decades of therapy. Within months of surgery, I started to experience regret. I’ve been on a path of self-discovery ever since, trying to make sense of how this happened and what I can do about it.
Thank you so much for your story - I appreciate your transparency. I am sorry that your life journey has been difficult and I hope that you find the inner peace you are seeking. You had a lot of trauma early in life - sexually abused, the loss of a parent and no one seemed to be there to help you. I believe that boys and girls question their identity and sexual desires when there has been sexual trauma - it is not your fault. I find you to be brave and honest and I appreciate your wisdom and reflection. Your advice to parents is very powerful but also very scary - none of us want to push our loved one away or sever our relationship but we worry about the consequences. You are not alone - may God bless you abundantly. Best wishes to you, too.
A lot of good stuff in this thoughtful essay - thanks for providing it.
“You may think your main goal is to stop it, but I would say it’s to protect them. You can’t do that if they cut you off. “ Although this is true, we did not affirm our adult child’s new belief, just as we would not blindly join a cult or religion that our child joined. We found that acknowledgment of the new belief was not enough for her - we had to participate or else. We can’t protect her if we pretend to agree with her beliefs, either, and watch her do something she may come to regret later.
This was our situation too. As soon as I asked a question about whether something else could be causing gender dysphoria (ODD, ADHD, anxiety, depression, you name it), he shut down. I tried to go along with it the first few days, but I felt sick to my stomach knowing that I was lying. Going along with it feels like the greater betrayal in the long run.
Thank you for such a thoughtful piece. Your group is the one which most interests/concerns me, and is how I am affected by all this. I cannot understand my adult brother’s motivation, but have heard of a few possibilities. The focus on children by campaigners at the moment is understandable but I hope when those much-needed safeguards are in place, people will look at how to help adults caught in this gender spiral.
Those of us with adult children feel powerless. By all means, let us go after the children's clinics first, but after that, the same malpractice runs through the whole lot.
Such a thoughtful essay--thank you so much for sharing your experience. I think it's crucial to listen to folks on this journey, when you're patenting a child/teenager through this. I value your advice in your concluding paragraph and will use it to guide how I walk with my kiddo through this.
I am normally a pleaser and my comment will baffle. I have resented my child's luck to be born in this day and age. I have made myself unpleasant to them so they suffered in turn. I see them as privileged so I have put difficult decisions in their ways. I they have transition regrets they will remember me. And if they transition and are happy I shall not remember them.
Thanks so much for sharing your story. It takes a lot of courage to share when you still have so many questions. It sounds like you have been on estrogen for many years. Would you mind sharing how many years, and whether you have experienced adverse effects? Like many parents of young people who are in the process of transitioning, I've read a lot about damage from long-term use. Do you get lab work and scans that show you how your body is changing in ways that aren't apparent? Do clinicians encourage such tests, or would they push back against someone requesting them?
Outside of the West most transgendered don’t have bottom surgery. Bottom surgery often has a lot of problems that transitioners regret.
There is definitely a predatory gender transition industry. Read about the Tavistock clinic and the lives ruined by the predatory for profit gender transition industry. The UK shut down the for profit gender transition industry. Only 5,000 out of 67 million people in the UK are true homosexuals or 0.0000746%. Once the for profit industry popped up that number rose exponentially and as a result their were numerous cases of very unhappy customers, court cases and detransitioners.
One patient is worth $1.5 million in gender transition treatments and surgeries in the US.
TikTok is owned by the Communist Chinese and a primary source leading to young people falsely believing they are trans due to China’s predatory algorithms which show socially negative, self destructive videos to confuse and misguide them as part of a psyop to undermine the West. They only show positive and industrious videos to their youth encouraging them to succeed in science, math, school and have positive, wholesome behavior and interests. Added to the corral gender and critical race theory being forced upon youth they are encouraged to see themselves as victims and to have the most clout in this Marxist ideology / pseudoscience, being transgendered gives them a lot of social credit - which is especially helpful if you are otherwise considered privileged because you are white.
Planned parenthood is the largest provider of sex hormones.
Do you mean "Only 5,000 out of 67 million people in the UK are true transgender people" (rather than "homosexuals")? (I realize you may not, but asking because the rest of your comment seems to be specifically about gender transitioners, which is separate from homosexuality ...)
No. 5,000 out of 67 million are sexual inverts (homosexual transexuals) which can also be called ‘true homosexuals.’ There are two types of transgendered - homosexual transexuals and transvestites who are heterosexual / pseudo-bisexual Autogynephiles or autoandrophiles. There are also ‘transtrenders’ who are under the spell of a social contagion fueled by social media (tiktok, Reddit, etc) and critical race and gender theories being pushed in schools which encourage everyone to see themselves as a victim or an oppressor. Transgendered are categorized as the most oppressed so someone desiring to be elevated socially will claim to be the most oppressed. Homosexuals who do not transition can be called ‘incomplete sexual inverts.’ Homosexuals are only attracted to their same sex - the heterosexual version of their same sex. That does not mean that they aren’t having sex with other homosexuals since they might not be able to find a heterosexual who wants to have sex with them. Someone will have to play the role of the heterosexual.
Isn’t the real question do you want to penetrate vs being penetrated? Male, masculine, dominant, penetrate; female, feminine, submissive, wants to be penetrated.
Men with AGP are not always heterosexual. Asexuality (more appropriately called anollloeroticism) exists in autogynephilia (AGP). From the limited information provided, the OP does sound like he has AGP, primarily accompanied by analloeroticism with some pseudoandrophilia (sometimes called pseudobisexuality), as AGPs with pseudoandrophilia will fantasize or pursue sex with men. They are not actually attracted to the men the way gay men are. The “attraction” is fueled by their desire to have behaviors women have and having men perceive them as women.
I am an XX woman and I have never once thought about my sexuality as "hmm, I'd really enjoy being penetrated this evening, must be straight."
I kid, but the truth is we cannot engage in this sort of reductive, leading-by-definition, narrowing of sex, gender, and sexuality that those who would deliberately muddy the waters for their own purposes are doing.
Being a woman does not come down to "being penetrated."
It’s more than just a definition, it’s a fact, and facts are sorely missing among the feeling crowd. The gobbledygook being fed to youth is extremely toxic.
Sex is a binary - male or female. Male is synonymous with masculinity which is synonymous with the desire to dominate and penetrate. Likewise Female is synonymous with feminity which is synonymous with the desire to be submissive and to be penetrated.
Homosexual transexuals are sexual inverts. Their gender expression - not their gender - but their gender expression indicates their inverted sexuality. HSTS males are highly effeminate biological males who desire to be penetrated by heterosexual males - treated like women. They often end up with GAMPS or Autogynephiles. HSTS females are highly masculine biological females who desire to penetrate heterosexual women - behaving like men.
GAMPS - GAMP (gynandromorphophilia) is a scientific term denoting attraction to GAMs (gynandromorphs). That is to say, GAMPs are men or women who feel sexually aroused by feminized men (who are themselves most often trans-identified males who've undergone some form of medical gender transition).
Medicalization is the only real fear I have. My son does have some autistic traits. He wears the same clothes everyday, can't eat properly with a fork and is socially awkward. Thanks for the advice. It will not fall on deaf ears.
Thank you so much for sharing your story and also for sharing advice with parents who I believe need it very much.
Thank you so much for your story - I appreciate your transparency. I am sorry that your life journey has been difficult and I hope that you find the inner peace you are seeking. You had a lot of trauma early in life - sexually abused, the loss of a parent and no one seemed to be there to help you. I believe that boys and girls question their identity and sexual desires when there has been sexual trauma - it is not your fault. I find you to be brave and honest and I appreciate your wisdom and reflection. Your advice to parents is very powerful but also very scary - none of us want to push our loved one away or sever our relationship but we worry about the consequences. You are not alone - may God bless you abundantly. Best wishes to you, too.
Thank you so much for this piece. Intelligent, honest and thought provoking.
A lot of good stuff in this thoughtful essay - thanks for providing it.
“You may think your main goal is to stop it, but I would say it’s to protect them. You can’t do that if they cut you off. “ Although this is true, we did not affirm our adult child’s new belief, just as we would not blindly join a cult or religion that our child joined. We found that acknowledgment of the new belief was not enough for her - we had to participate or else. We can’t protect her if we pretend to agree with her beliefs, either, and watch her do something she may come to regret later.
This was our situation too. As soon as I asked a question about whether something else could be causing gender dysphoria (ODD, ADHD, anxiety, depression, you name it), he shut down. I tried to go along with it the first few days, but I felt sick to my stomach knowing that I was lying. Going along with it feels like the greater betrayal in the long run.
Thank you for such a thoughtful piece. Your group is the one which most interests/concerns me, and is how I am affected by all this. I cannot understand my adult brother’s motivation, but have heard of a few possibilities. The focus on children by campaigners at the moment is understandable but I hope when those much-needed safeguards are in place, people will look at how to help adults caught in this gender spiral.
Those of us with adult children feel powerless. By all means, let us go after the children's clinics first, but after that, the same malpractice runs through the whole lot.
Such a thoughtful essay--thank you so much for sharing your experience. I think it's crucial to listen to folks on this journey, when you're patenting a child/teenager through this. I value your advice in your concluding paragraph and will use it to guide how I walk with my kiddo through this.
Not all homosexuals are "born that way" some have been recruited, some have been brought up under very strange circumstances.
Sexual orientation results from an interaction of cognitive, environmental, and biological factors. There are many paths to homosexuality.
FWIW: My son (24) says his homosexuality a (complicated) choice. 💚
I am normally a pleaser and my comment will baffle. I have resented my child's luck to be born in this day and age. I have made myself unpleasant to them so they suffered in turn. I see them as privileged so I have put difficult decisions in their ways. I they have transition regrets they will remember me. And if they transition and are happy I shall not remember them.
Thanks so much for sharing your story. It takes a lot of courage to share when you still have so many questions. It sounds like you have been on estrogen for many years. Would you mind sharing how many years, and whether you have experienced adverse effects? Like many parents of young people who are in the process of transitioning, I've read a lot about damage from long-term use. Do you get lab work and scans that show you how your body is changing in ways that aren't apparent? Do clinicians encourage such tests, or would they push back against someone requesting them?
Outside of the West most transgendered don’t have bottom surgery. Bottom surgery often has a lot of problems that transitioners regret.
There is definitely a predatory gender transition industry. Read about the Tavistock clinic and the lives ruined by the predatory for profit gender transition industry. The UK shut down the for profit gender transition industry. Only 5,000 out of 67 million people in the UK are true homosexuals or 0.0000746%. Once the for profit industry popped up that number rose exponentially and as a result their were numerous cases of very unhappy customers, court cases and detransitioners.
One patient is worth $1.5 million in gender transition treatments and surgeries in the US.
TikTok is owned by the Communist Chinese and a primary source leading to young people falsely believing they are trans due to China’s predatory algorithms which show socially negative, self destructive videos to confuse and misguide them as part of a psyop to undermine the West. They only show positive and industrious videos to their youth encouraging them to succeed in science, math, school and have positive, wholesome behavior and interests. Added to the corral gender and critical race theory being forced upon youth they are encouraged to see themselves as victims and to have the most clout in this Marxist ideology / pseudoscience, being transgendered gives them a lot of social credit - which is especially helpful if you are otherwise considered privileged because you are white.
Planned parenthood is the largest provider of sex hormones.
Do you mean "Only 5,000 out of 67 million people in the UK are true transgender people" (rather than "homosexuals")? (I realize you may not, but asking because the rest of your comment seems to be specifically about gender transitioners, which is separate from homosexuality ...)
No. 5,000 out of 67 million are sexual inverts (homosexual transexuals) which can also be called ‘true homosexuals.’ There are two types of transgendered - homosexual transexuals and transvestites who are heterosexual / pseudo-bisexual Autogynephiles or autoandrophiles. There are also ‘transtrenders’ who are under the spell of a social contagion fueled by social media (tiktok, Reddit, etc) and critical race and gender theories being pushed in schools which encourage everyone to see themselves as a victim or an oppressor. Transgendered are categorized as the most oppressed so someone desiring to be elevated socially will claim to be the most oppressed. Homosexuals who do not transition can be called ‘incomplete sexual inverts.’ Homosexuals are only attracted to their same sex - the heterosexual version of their same sex. That does not mean that they aren’t having sex with other homosexuals since they might not be able to find a heterosexual who wants to have sex with them. Someone will have to play the role of the heterosexual.
Thanks for clarifying.
Isn’t the real question do you want to penetrate vs being penetrated? Male, masculine, dominant, penetrate; female, feminine, submissive, wants to be penetrated.
Asexual is low libido which you seem to have had.
Men with AGP are not always heterosexual. Asexuality (more appropriately called anollloeroticism) exists in autogynephilia (AGP). From the limited information provided, the OP does sound like he has AGP, primarily accompanied by analloeroticism with some pseudoandrophilia (sometimes called pseudobisexuality), as AGPs with pseudoandrophilia will fantasize or pursue sex with men. They are not actually attracted to the men the way gay men are. The “attraction” is fueled by their desire to have behaviors women have and having men perceive them as women.
I am an XX woman and I have never once thought about my sexuality as "hmm, I'd really enjoy being penetrated this evening, must be straight."
I kid, but the truth is we cannot engage in this sort of reductive, leading-by-definition, narrowing of sex, gender, and sexuality that those who would deliberately muddy the waters for their own purposes are doing.
Being a woman does not come down to "being penetrated."
It’s more than just a definition, it’s a fact, and facts are sorely missing among the feeling crowd. The gobbledygook being fed to youth is extremely toxic.
Sex is a binary - male or female. Male is synonymous with masculinity which is synonymous with the desire to dominate and penetrate. Likewise Female is synonymous with feminity which is synonymous with the desire to be submissive and to be penetrated.
Homosexual transexuals are sexual inverts. Their gender expression - not their gender - but their gender expression indicates their inverted sexuality. HSTS males are highly effeminate biological males who desire to be penetrated by heterosexual males - treated like women. They often end up with GAMPS or Autogynephiles. HSTS females are highly masculine biological females who desire to penetrate heterosexual women - behaving like men.
GAMPS - GAMP (gynandromorphophilia) is a scientific term denoting attraction to GAMs (gynandromorphs). That is to say, GAMPs are men or women who feel sexually aroused by feminized men (who are themselves most often trans-identified males who've undergone some form of medical gender transition).
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26498424/
Autogynephilia and autoandrophilia are sexual paraphilias where the erotic target locator error is upon oneself.
I'm sorry, I didn't order a word salad, but I hope you enjoy yours.
I see. Completely over your head. Got it!
Thanks for sharing your hard fought insights. I’m sorry for what you’ve been through 🙏
Thank you very much for this candid, thoughtful essay. You brought up a number of excellent points.
Thank you. What you say has the ring of truth … sadly such a rarity these days.
Merci pour votre témoignage. C'est important de montrer la complexité du diagnostic de dysphorie et l'importance des enjeux.
Medicalization is the only real fear I have. My son does have some autistic traits. He wears the same clothes everyday, can't eat properly with a fork and is socially awkward. Thanks for the advice. It will not fall on deaf ears.