I sincerely hope you are right in your intuition that most who started down the trans slope while still growing up at home with family, will eventually come out of it. After all these years, I no longer dare to pray for specific outcomes. But I do continue to pray for her health and well being. Thank you for sharing your positive message with us.
Thank you so much for affirming my NON AFFIRMING stance. I have never second guessed myself when refusing to use my daughter’s “trans” name or male pronouns. She asked me why I don’t when “all” her friends and work colleagues (prt-time KFC workers) say I’m stupid and dumb because “Well look at me!” (12 months on testosterone: deeper voice, chin hair and thick leg hair, “boy” clothes, name and pronouns) my response was simple: “I don’t care what your so called friends and colleagues think of me because unfortunately for you “I KNOW WHO YOU ARE” and I refuse to lie to you or to myself. It was a simple statement straight from my heart and I felt really good that I’d said it. No detrans though I think she’s at an “appointment” (for another off-label testosterone injection) as I write this. I’ve turned to prayer as well. Keep on keeping on us all we can do atm.
A kind trans friend inviting your daughter to the LGBTQ group. How did you know? Our daughter used to spend lunch time in the library without friends; isolated and bullied in high school. Easy pickings for joining a group of students. We are now estranged having refused to use our insurance for her eventual mastectomy. I still text but don't get responses unless to say, "Thank you for leaving (A production she was in) quickly, pushing me away when a hug was offered or reminding me that proper pronouns are respectful. I try and constantly remind myself of her immaturity and naivete. It helps with the anger I feel and the tenuous connection I nurture.
I feel like it’s survivor’s guilt and PTSD. I still get really scared when my son calls me after a bad day. But the fact that he called me and lets me pray for him is enough. I cry afterwards sometimes from fear and also gratitude about where we are today. Just keep loving them and speaking truth.
When you spoke of your daughter when she was in the Trans Moral Panic, I heard in my head the Sandra Boynton song about little children struggling with attachment:
Leave me alone
Leave mе alone
Leave mе alone
Don't leave me alone!
DON'T, DON'T, DON'T!
Children are being targeted by the men behind the Trans Moral Panic *because* they haven't finished growing up and resolved their struggle between attachment and independence.
That is the great, overwhelming evil of this Trans Moral Panic: the shameless, bare-faced, ruthless targeting of children.
Maybe, just maybe your praying without a specific religion helped open the door for her to feel space for her own "religion", without having to oppose you on that level too. You just kept the straight path, without having to convert her into your religion, but kept the door open for honest direct and personal encounter without hiding your true self, whatever that is, behind a religious mask.
I think our children love us. They want to make us happy and prout, but in their own unique way, not by becoming something artificial.
I am happy to know that you kept on going, never let her go and guided her back into a simple evolutionary truth, life is good the way it is (sacred) and you don't have to distort your body in order to sort your mind.
From age 13 to 15.5, my daughter was a trans boy. I thought that she desisted, as she was presenting as female for the next few years. She even wore a dress to prom. Then, when she got to college, she shaved her head freshman year. Sophomore year, she announced that she was going to have a double mastectomy. Thank goodness, we were able to put t halt to that. But the child that we thought had desisted had not. I thought that we made it through, but she went right back to it when she went to college. Now her grandmother is giving out huge monetary gifts to all of the grandchildren for Christmas, and she is about to graduate from ccollege, and I worry about what is coming next.
It's interesting that you write this. One of the first signs with my daughter was that she came home for the holidays with a shaved head. Her roommate ("non-Cis") had shaved it. She still wore a dress/big dangly earrings and I remember telling her she pulled it off really well. Within six months she and the friend started T together (unbeknownst to me). Before college, she showed no signs of being trans but was supportive of it, like most Gen Zers. It's been almost 5 years now with no signs of desistance in sight.
If I were sending my kid to college today, I would research the college first. There is a ranking for LGBTQ friendliness and my daughter's college is at the top. They got a lot of funding from one of the trans foundations, started an LGTBTQ dorm area, etc. Had I known what was coming, I would have done everything in my power to send her elsewhere. I also would have stopped filling out the FAFSA and cut off all financial support. But I didn't know what I was up against. It was within a few months (maybe less?) of me submitting her last FAFSA that she cut off all contact for 2 years.
I am so sorry. Yes, that's my fear as well that my daughter will fall back into it. I think we will only fully relax when the cult is destroyed. I hope your daughter desists again and this time for good. Don't lose hope! It's great she didn't get a mastectomy yet.
I’m happy for you; thank God your daughter desisted.
It’s what I pray every waking moment for my daughter to desist; for God to vanquish the demons who live inside her telling her she’s a ‘boy’ and making her think and act like a ‘boy’ for years now; for this social contagion to end! It’s not a life we’ve ever imagined. All we have now is God; putting our beloved daughter’s fate in His hands.
This is very uplifting. I’ve noticed the subreddit r/detrans has increased from about 48,000 members when I discovered it six months ago to around 55,000 members today.
This is a great piece. I love the honesty--who knows why she desisted? Could be any of those factors. Your accountability is admirable, but I also hope you don't land in perpetual guilt. You do not deserve that. It must be very hard to face that your daughter has been part of this ideology spreading, causing grievous harm to others, especially when she was spared the worst. (Not spared everything however, as she is still in the cult, which still hurts her!) And to wrestle with "what could I have done differently?" You will never know--as I know you already know. We cannot change or fully understand the past. We can only move forward, forgive ourselves and each other, and humbly try to find the right path forward.
I often recommend www.newdiscourses.com, but only after thinking about whether it's relevant to the person posting. The last few paragraphs convince me it would be. God Bless you on your journey past an ideology that has globalist dollars behind it. Social media contagion is the weapon, a small part of the marxist arsenal.
It is all messy and confusing. There is no perfect way through it. I write articles/essays myself to make amends for what my daughter does. I hope I have helped to offset her activism. Thank you for sharing.
I pray for your daughter's full and speedy recovery. My desistance and my total separation from the LGBT world were two separate events. It took about two years post-desistance, honestly. Now, within the past six months, I've become Christian. (A complete 180, but hey!) May you and your daughter find the peace you're looking for.
Author of this essay here: Thank you so much! I will continue waiting (somewhat) patiently for the second event of my daughter separating from the LGBT world. Your input is so important!
I sincerely hope you are right in your intuition that most who started down the trans slope while still growing up at home with family, will eventually come out of it. After all these years, I no longer dare to pray for specific outcomes. But I do continue to pray for her health and well being. Thank you for sharing your positive message with us.
Thank you so much for affirming my NON AFFIRMING stance. I have never second guessed myself when refusing to use my daughter’s “trans” name or male pronouns. She asked me why I don’t when “all” her friends and work colleagues (prt-time KFC workers) say I’m stupid and dumb because “Well look at me!” (12 months on testosterone: deeper voice, chin hair and thick leg hair, “boy” clothes, name and pronouns) my response was simple: “I don’t care what your so called friends and colleagues think of me because unfortunately for you “I KNOW WHO YOU ARE” and I refuse to lie to you or to myself. It was a simple statement straight from my heart and I felt really good that I’d said it. No detrans though I think she’s at an “appointment” (for another off-label testosterone injection) as I write this. I’ve turned to prayer as well. Keep on keeping on us all we can do atm.
A kind trans friend inviting your daughter to the LGBTQ group. How did you know? Our daughter used to spend lunch time in the library without friends; isolated and bullied in high school. Easy pickings for joining a group of students. We are now estranged having refused to use our insurance for her eventual mastectomy. I still text but don't get responses unless to say, "Thank you for leaving (A production she was in) quickly, pushing me away when a hug was offered or reminding me that proper pronouns are respectful. I try and constantly remind myself of her immaturity and naivete. It helps with the anger I feel and the tenuous connection I nurture.
I feel like it’s survivor’s guilt and PTSD. I still get really scared when my son calls me after a bad day. But the fact that he called me and lets me pray for him is enough. I cry afterwards sometimes from fear and also gratitude about where we are today. Just keep loving them and speaking truth.
When you spoke of your daughter when she was in the Trans Moral Panic, I heard in my head the Sandra Boynton song about little children struggling with attachment:
Leave me alone
Leave mе alone
Leave mе alone
Don't leave me alone!
DON'T, DON'T, DON'T!
Children are being targeted by the men behind the Trans Moral Panic *because* they haven't finished growing up and resolved their struggle between attachment and independence.
That is the great, overwhelming evil of this Trans Moral Panic: the shameless, bare-faced, ruthless targeting of children.
Genuinely pleased for you. This is what so many of us dream of.
I can only imagine the underlying fear that it may turn again, an underlying anxiety like a disease in remission that threatens to relapse.
Thank you for sharing hope, praying she stays your daughter x
Maybe, just maybe your praying without a specific religion helped open the door for her to feel space for her own "religion", without having to oppose you on that level too. You just kept the straight path, without having to convert her into your religion, but kept the door open for honest direct and personal encounter without hiding your true self, whatever that is, behind a religious mask.
I think our children love us. They want to make us happy and prout, but in their own unique way, not by becoming something artificial.
I am happy to know that you kept on going, never let her go and guided her back into a simple evolutionary truth, life is good the way it is (sacred) and you don't have to distort your body in order to sort your mind.
Thank you for sharing. Brilliantly written. <3
I am so happy that your daughter desisted.
From age 13 to 15.5, my daughter was a trans boy. I thought that she desisted, as she was presenting as female for the next few years. She even wore a dress to prom. Then, when she got to college, she shaved her head freshman year. Sophomore year, she announced that she was going to have a double mastectomy. Thank goodness, we were able to put t halt to that. But the child that we thought had desisted had not. I thought that we made it through, but she went right back to it when she went to college. Now her grandmother is giving out huge monetary gifts to all of the grandchildren for Christmas, and she is about to graduate from ccollege, and I worry about what is coming next.
It's interesting that you write this. One of the first signs with my daughter was that she came home for the holidays with a shaved head. Her roommate ("non-Cis") had shaved it. She still wore a dress/big dangly earrings and I remember telling her she pulled it off really well. Within six months she and the friend started T together (unbeknownst to me). Before college, she showed no signs of being trans but was supportive of it, like most Gen Zers. It's been almost 5 years now with no signs of desistance in sight.
If I were sending my kid to college today, I would research the college first. There is a ranking for LGBTQ friendliness and my daughter's college is at the top. They got a lot of funding from one of the trans foundations, started an LGTBTQ dorm area, etc. Had I known what was coming, I would have done everything in my power to send her elsewhere. I also would have stopped filling out the FAFSA and cut off all financial support. But I didn't know what I was up against. It was within a few months (maybe less?) of me submitting her last FAFSA that she cut off all contact for 2 years.
I am so sorry. Yes, that's my fear as well that my daughter will fall back into it. I think we will only fully relax when the cult is destroyed. I hope your daughter desists again and this time for good. Don't lose hope! It's great she didn't get a mastectomy yet.
I’m happy for you; thank God your daughter desisted.
It’s what I pray every waking moment for my daughter to desist; for God to vanquish the demons who live inside her telling her she’s a ‘boy’ and making her think and act like a ‘boy’ for years now; for this social contagion to end! It’s not a life we’ve ever imagined. All we have now is God; putting our beloved daughter’s fate in His hands.
Thank you for sharing.
I don’t know if the fear will ever go away after a child desists. Thank you for sharing your hopeful story.
This is very uplifting. I’ve noticed the subreddit r/detrans has increased from about 48,000 members when I discovered it six months ago to around 55,000 members today.
This is a great piece. I love the honesty--who knows why she desisted? Could be any of those factors. Your accountability is admirable, but I also hope you don't land in perpetual guilt. You do not deserve that. It must be very hard to face that your daughter has been part of this ideology spreading, causing grievous harm to others, especially when she was spared the worst. (Not spared everything however, as she is still in the cult, which still hurts her!) And to wrestle with "what could I have done differently?" You will never know--as I know you already know. We cannot change or fully understand the past. We can only move forward, forgive ourselves and each other, and humbly try to find the right path forward.
Thanks for your kind words, Elizabeth.
❤️
I often recommend www.newdiscourses.com, but only after thinking about whether it's relevant to the person posting. The last few paragraphs convince me it would be. God Bless you on your journey past an ideology that has globalist dollars behind it. Social media contagion is the weapon, a small part of the marxist arsenal.
It is all messy and confusing. There is no perfect way through it. I write articles/essays myself to make amends for what my daughter does. I hope I have helped to offset her activism. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you. I hope our story helps a little as well.
I pray for your daughter's full and speedy recovery. My desistance and my total separation from the LGBT world were two separate events. It took about two years post-desistance, honestly. Now, within the past six months, I've become Christian. (A complete 180, but hey!) May you and your daughter find the peace you're looking for.
Author of this essay here: Thank you so much! I will continue waiting (somewhat) patiently for the second event of my daughter separating from the LGBT world. Your input is so important!