108 Comments

You express everything so well, thank you. It must have been very painful writing this, but not as painful as living through such a visceral nightmare. I know, I understand, I'm with you. My daughter estranged herself nearly 6 years ago - all our stories are so similar. I still find it unbelievable how this is happening to so many of us. I hope and pray that your daughter comes home to herself and to her family very soon X

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It is like when a soldier is listed as MIA. There is no closure. There can be years of hope that he will return. The reality is they are gone. Dead to us. Only a very few ever are found. Most just remain as MIA or become confirmed as KIA. One in a million brought home alive. In some ways it is more cruel to be MIA than to just be a KIA.

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I’m a dad but feel exactly the same. While we still have contact with our daughter, this is a state of dying and grief that just won’t go away.

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So sorry to hear this. The constant grief !

Don't want to make this about myself but again today I'm in a flood of tears, my daughter today informed me she intends to fully transistion this isnt the first time but the first time for a while. I said things I shouldnt have said, how hurt we all are including grandparents & how much I grieve for her. I asked if anyone ever explored with her where these feeling came from? have any therapists said her parents reactions are from love? I got the ususal you should get therapy response, you've had 3 years to process this. I have not found therapy helpful. I am fed up of being the evil parent, how does she ever expect me to refer to her as a son? I was told about "lucky" people whose parents have no problem with it.

Last week I went to a funeral of a friend. His wife & daughters all spoke so fondly of him. Then at the wake someone asked me how my 4 boys are ? The gut wrenching feeling again, this is why I have spent so much time hiding from social situations, the rest of the world are happy for me to no longer have a daughter. I was there for my friend & his family to remember him & pay my respects, not to be avoiding uncomfortable conversations. Back to the grief ! No one is here for us as parents & our grief, no one came rushing with meals & offers of support when my daughter ran away from home. "To live their true self" its such a lonely journey. Sorry to rant but here is the only place I feel heard,safe and that I matter.

I big row & confrontation because a legal document had the preferred name on it! if only I had stayed calm !

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You do matter. I see you. I hear you. Thank you for sharing.

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Keep hopeful, keep a connection if you can, keep to the truth. I feel for you, deeply.

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I am so sorry. I am in tears reading this.

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I am grieving with you. This was so beautifully written. Hold onto hope and love those you still have by your side. When I think about how you say they can’t erase your memories, it makes me think of the communists trying to erase people’s faces out of photos or their names out of history books. They shun you for deadnaming, but they can’t take your memories.

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Gosh , it's so heartbreaking to see the damage this monstrous movement is causing. Why so many people can't see it for what it is is completely mystifying . I pray for all those affected and for the wider world whose future is under severe threat from the demonically evil architects of this death cult !! God Bless your all.🙏🙏🙏🇬🇧♥️

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Another heartbreaking reality, …..horror….. It hurts me to hear you go to yoga with those that helped harm your child. If you can, muster up the strength to find a new circle of people who are safe, loving, and honest. I wonder if there is a way to allow the PITTs to find one another and be able to get together.

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I wonder if parents on here can give general locations like city and state? Perhaps we can create meetup groups on Meetup.com to get together? I don’t know just a thought. I used to run meet up social groups so it’s easy to use. Just a thought.

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I think that would help us all, because only someone going through this knows thr real pain

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That is a wonderful idea. Come up with a name and add the state. For example PITT.Washington

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Speaking of Monster High - I’m an adult who collects dolls, mostly Rainbow High and collector Barbies. I don’t collect Monster High, so I don’t know all the brand history, but sometime within the last few years the company decided that Frankie N. Stein was a nonbinary they/them. There was one particular Monster High doll I was considering buying, but after hearing that, I was like, nope. I used up my limited supply of “trans doll tolerance” on Hari Nef playing Doctor Barbie.

Thank you for writing this, and I hope it’s helpful to you and others. Best of luck for you and your family.

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Someone here (I think) said five years, maybe seven is the average time we must endure and press on before our children return to us the way they were made. If that is true, it will be worth the wait to have my child back for this life (and the next.)

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I'm so sorry for your pain and loss. You are not alone. My "adult" daughter is also gone. Trying to move on but how can a mother just walk away from her child being harmed by those that are supposed to "do no harm". I just can't wrap my brain around the insanity that we're living with. Sending hugs and strength.

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I lost my daughter to trans and still grieve. I miss her so much. Hugs.

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I keep praying for my daughter. I will pray for your daughter too. I won't give up hope. https://youtu.be/E_52QR3TptY?si=9c9yuFy57Sec4hUV

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The foracity of your daughter’s messages are evil, as is the person she has become. The same has happened to my son. I just don’t know what to think anymore. Of late I’ve been looking at other kids/young adults his age. They did not get captured. He chose this. After 3 years & of honestly having no choice, I have begun to accept the rejection & that in itself brings a whole other level of grief & depression. I’m free, but I don’t want to be free. I want my son back.

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Same only my son…..we have experienced all of the same feelings. We know he lives in a certain state but nothing else.

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