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"I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo.

"So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us."

― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

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I totally understand you and feel your pain but you’re right, we have to turn the pain into actions against these evil agendas.

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I wish I didn’t know it at my age. I wish all the kids I go to high school with wouldn’t mutilate themselves. I wish the teachers would actually do something about it instead of breaking their backs to accommodate their fantasy. But I’m better off knowing then allowing it to happen.

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I’m so grateful to have found people with like mind. We are struggling with a 19 year old son with autism and gender dysphoria. We feel so alone. All the therapists we have found are affirming this sickness

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It did occur to me that I know way more about this trans stuff than I ever wanted to know. It is a curious subject and I'm sure that someone with is knowledge could help a lot of people or hurt a lot of people. There are other things I'd like to do with my time. Unfortunately, I'm not in a position where I have a choice.

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I think it’s very important for people, who are concerned about the current flood of transgender alignment medicalization, to emphasize that they object to dangerous and irresponsible misapplication or disregard of vetting protocols, the inappropriate exposure of young children before they are able to understand the topic, and the illegal usurping of parental rights regarding their children. We do not hate trans people, nor are we transphobic. The political debate over transgender affecting laws is a totally separate issue.

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This quote from British psychiatrist and author Theodore Dalrymple -- a pen name, real name Anthony Daniels -- seems most apropos to transmania:

“Political correctness is communist propaganda writ small. In my study of communist societies, I came to the conclusion that the purpose of communist propaganda was not to persuade or convince, not to inform, but to humiliate; and therefore, the less it corresponded to reality the better.

When people are forced to remain silent when they are being told the most obvious lies, or even worse when they are forced to repeat the lies themselves, they lose once and for all their sense of probity. To assent to obvious lies is in some small way to become evil oneself. One's standing to resist anything is thus eroded, and even destroyed. A society of emasculated liars is easy to control. I think if you examine political correctness, it has the same effect and is intended to.”

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Do you know @BillboardChris? He may be able to give you contacts for parent support groups and activists.

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Same here - I think about those blissful days when a binder was just a three ring notebook, my kids were happy just being themselves, and I didn’t lie awake at night completely filled with dread.

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It's so incredibly painful and disturbing--and I'm glad I know. I can't believe how long this mind-altering, insidious virus had to spread and take hold of our institutions with so few reasonable people resisting it. Any longer and we'd already be lost. I'm glad I know and sick that it's happening. Our children are inspiring and preparing US to be the ones to stop it.

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AND this is a powerful and beautifully written piece! Thank you for such a well written contribution to PITT's anthology of families' heartbreaking stories.

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You are right. We know. As a parent, educator, and gay woman, I can't live with being quiet about this scandal, as dark and horrifying as it is.

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Thank God that we all get together on this and other platforms to fight this ignorance and evil. We spread the truth and one day, when the lawsuits from detransitioners and their parents fill the lists of various Courts, heart-rending accounts like yours will be part of the testimonies.

Courage to you and like-minded protective moms! Since we are not yet seeing push-back in Canada (as we are begining to see in the UK) I hope that your daughter somehow "sees the light of truth" that she is a beautiful whole human being who does not need to alter her body. I hope that she finds other activities, not the navel-gazing and the spells of "influencers" on the little screens 24/7. We have to break the social media obsession. Perhaps you could suggest that to her father, to test just how much of this "real new person" comes from her and how much from social media?

Just a suggestion.

My heart is breaking reading about this chaos and despair. X Una

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Thank you for your compelling description of what I also wish I didn't know. For over a year, I know my vulnerable, confused 20 year old son falls deeper into the pit of gender ideology. But I can't block out this knowledge because I love my son. My precious son. He takes multiple pills a day, has HRT induced small breasts, dresses in stereotypical female clothes, and is alienated from his parents' guidance. I know that this is devastating. I hold hope that this trail of destruction will be dismantled. In the meantime, I know distressed children and young adults deserve better care that does not do further harm. So do their families.

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I wish I didn’t know too. I wish I didn’t talk to the school counselor, I wish I didn’t know that she changed name and pronoun. I wish I didn’t read her journal.

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It's so awful. Schools should not allow students to change names and pronouns. If schools didn't then the fantasy/negative cooping mechanism might just play out in the friend group for a time but adults are signaling this is "real" and it grows/becomes pathologized

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I felt paralyzed and powerless as a single mom when the school counselor told me that they addressed my daughter as he and using a different name. I literally want to punch her. I told her that if this is something organic, then I will jump into that bandwagon with my daughter and we don’t have this conversation. I also corrected one of her teachers via e mail that their job is to educate her not to change anything because she’s already perfect. It has been the most isolating and painful journey.

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We let our daughter change her name and pronouns because all the advice I found at the time recommended it, and my husband was all for it. I wish we hadn’t. I feel like if we’d held the line on using her given name and female pronouns at home and with teachers, the whole phase would have passed long ago.

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That's what I think. My husband and I never affirmed at home but the school would not listen to us and called our daughter "he" and a made up name. Someone else wrote about triangulation with the parents - not good. I don't know where I could have sent her where parent wishes would be respected. The phase has not exactly passed but she has not hurt herself - yet - I worry.

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It seems like all the public schools affirm, either for ideological reasons or for legal ones. I know some people have found private religious schools that don’t affirm, but that’s not an option for everybody.

We’re almost two years into this. (Though my kid is nonbinary, not full trans.) Honestly I don’t know where her heart is because we wore each other out arguing about it, and I worry that reopening the whole can of worms is just going to make her dig her heels in more. So I’m stuck trying to read tea leaves in things like how long she lets her hair get and how often she wears her stupid binder. It *seems* to be mostly a fashion thing for her right now, but she’s not even 15 yet, so we have plenty of adolescence still to get through. Hopefully without her deciding to hurt herself.

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It is a slippery slope. It is not just a fashion thing, it is seriously dangerous. When talking does not help, arguing is pointless, we are desperate. There is nothing but prayer.

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It is very much a slippery slope. That is one of the aspects that feels so cult-like to me. The girls don't get to a bad place overnight. They hear weird "science" indoctrination regarding all these alt sexualalities and gender identities, etc. complete with it's own language. It can be from another teen, online, or at school. It is some time before they dip their toe in. Each step they take does not seem like such a big step based on where there are at each point. Each of those steps is celebrated by their group. After a time they are against their loving familes (an "out" group) with an unhappy personality and sounding like unreasoning cult members. I agree that reasoning and arguing do no good at all. I think working on getting the relationship back is a big deal.

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Our girl was at a private high school and it was just as bad as the local public schools on this. The private schools are matching what is going on at the University level and most teachers seem to be true believers. Those who are not will only whisper to you. Boarding schools also seem terrible and even if one could afford that it's a dangerous time to have your kid far away from you. From what I hear many catholic schools have given in to Gender Ideology as well which seems surprising to me.

Right, a lot of this might have just been a fashion thing without all the affirmation coming from "experts" and other authorities. Maybe you could quietly go back to calling her by her name at home? She might like that at some level as you said it to her when little... When kids push back they are sometimes testing the waters. We found that not talking about the Great Issue all the time but working on the relationship and doing real things in the real world was good for us all. I drew a line with the binder after I finally knew what the thing was (she had a made up story about it). I said it was unhealthy and got rid of it. I know they can have other people fetch them more... but I think she is genuinely happy going braless these days. "Be free." Why wear anything if your tops are loose?

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If even Catholic schools are giving in to Gender Ideology, we know there is a difficult battle. How do we stay in the real world, away from internet?

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I made it clear to her that I’m not going to use the made up name and pronoun because it’s not accurate. Yes, I affirm her distress but not the gender part. One of her friend’s at school provided her a binder, i put it in the garbage., fortunately, she didn’t look for it. She wrote something on her journal that was intended for me. She said that she is not after self mutilating and taking toxic pill and she also read irreversible damage and listen to Lisa littman’s podcast. She probably read that book in the library. This whole thing is so exhausting but I will fight up to my last breath because she’s worth it.,

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Such a powerful piece. This is me too. I wish I didn't know. Used to talk about my "pre-covid" life. Look at pics of my 11yr old last summer. 8 months later, here I am wishing for the "pre-trans" days again.

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This is me. It makes my heart sink to read it. But we keep talking, keep acting, and there will be change. One kid at a time.

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