Years ago, I was sick with a serious disease. Let’s call it cancer. People were uniformly kind in their concern but their attempts to say just the right thing could be misguided and sometimes downright comical. Some folks got it right—a look in the eye, a squeeze of the hand, an “I’m sending good thoughts your way”. That’s really what I needed. But others got it terribly wrong. Among those were stories of their friends or family members who had the same cancer as me and died or their description of the litany of horrible side-effects I could expect from chemo or, my favorite, “You’re going to need a miracle to beat this”. Really? Because I was kind of hoping that modern medicine would cure me. And, thankfully, it did. So now I can look back and laugh, especially since I know they did mean well.
Ignoring this does not make it go away. We (the parent, brother or sister, aunt, uncle, grandparent) are consumed with fear, worry, anger and resentment for our loved one who got trapped in this snare. Our pain is raw, deep and all consuming and other people do not want to know about it. Friendships are lost, relationships broken, social circles minimized. You are not alone on this insane journey. Stay strong. The truth is coming and may God intervene quickly.
You've heard and echoed my heart. Friends who understand what is going on and will listen and be there are gold. So many others just don't ask how my son is, and it's like he's gone all over again.
I'm going through it and I don't even know what the right answer is - especially if you are on the "other side" of the understanding divide.
After reading just a few comments I’m thinking of myself & how I’d react to someone going through what this parent is. Not knowing what to say; not knowing if the parent is happily all in as in “affirming,” or if the parent is devastated. I’m probably thinking it’s better to just not bring it up.
If a parent is affirming, I’d want to ask where their brain is. If heartbroken I’d lament with them & pray.
This is so powerful. Thank you so much for writing it. When the real history is written about this catastrophe, you parents will be the heroes. Keep screaming, you’re being heard. Also, could someone explain and provide references about the dental consequences of transitioning, that’s news to me and I want to know.
This transgender movement is so obviously corrupt and sinister it behooves me how anyone -- anyone -- could support it without a single question. It defies the craziest science fiction story. This is the REAL Handmaid's Tale! With so many self-sterilized females, there will be a premium on intact female bodies capable of bearing children!
The ramifications of affirming without questioning extend beyond the trans cult. This is a real can of worms but...in my experience as a college professor, it's even come to pass that you can't use the Socratic method either. That's not "SAFE." They are NOT to be questioned about ANYTHING. People supporting this in in the name of goodness and light are out of their freaking minds! Imagine the tyrannical assholes that will be running the world when we're in our golden years! Completely irrational, delusional -- and expecting their delusions and everything they say to be treated like gospel!
This is hell in the making not just for the parents -- but for EVERYONE.
The rest of the comment is right on point—and it's the first time I've thought in explicit terms about how this so-called 'movement' is fostering future tyrants.
The parallels are chilling. The hallmark of EVERY authoritarian dictator, in all of history, has been to surround himself with obsequious yes-men who do nothing but "affirm" him and tell pretty-sounding lies about more complicated truths—with the inevitable consequence that, eventually, the dictator becomes so unmoored from the actual reality on the ground that his fantastical aspirations and increasingly stupid decisions/commands lead to his own ouster or death, but likely not without large numbers of his subjects dying first as a result of the same decisions.
Mao Zedong is a typically tragic (for common people) example. During the Great Leap Forward, officials in China's pyramid-shaped hierarchy exaggerated their region's agricultural output to curry favor with Mao, who would rage, fire them, or worse for reporting honest figures—so the state requisitioned percentages of those exaggerated amounts for export, leading directly to the Great Famine of 1959-1961, in which tens of millions of Chinese people starved to death even as the country exported the very grain that could easily have fed them.
Oh my goodness I can relate to this. I also get “you have to accept this at some stage” my reply “no, no I don’t “have” to accept anything.” People mean well but I will try to educate anyone who will listen one “well meaning “ conversation at a time
Here is a way to try to stop this madness: sue any institution that advances these deluded concepts.
First, these emotional, snake oil promoters will have to spend money to defend their practices. Second, if they lose they will have to pay, hopefully, millions to their victims much in the same way that cigarette makers had to. One can leaf through magazine ads in the first part of the 20th Century and find doctors openly promoting smoking. (We laugh today at the absurdity of doctors who encouraged smoking.) Hopefully some day doctors, surgeons, and pseudo therapists suffer similar humiliation and cost for pushing the "gender affirmation" canard. These brainwashed professionals could also be compared to the individuals who believed in lobotomies to cure depression.
I am not a lawyer but here is a suggestion: Contact America First Legal (1-972-247-3800); 325 N.
I guess you are not a parent of a kid going through this type of gender questioning. While I agree that legal action is absolutely necessary, it is not easy when you are a directly affected party with kids at risk. For example if your kid is in a private school, the contract families sign leave little room for taking legal action against the school (which is incredible—those contracts need to become more balanced, not just one way documents to protect only the school). Thus, one would need to set legal precedent. This would require fully involving your kid (and the family) when they are in a extremely fragile place. There is an explanation of why most of these support groups remain anonymous. We also understand such a lawsuit would require a six figure commitment. Not to mention the risk in the current environment for the parents to loose their jobs etc. Thank god for all the people who are standing up for us.
And this disease our kids have hurts our health. Bern dealing for 6 years, hoping my son would outgrow it. Then I find out he was on hormones (age 21), and fell upon something that he had bottom surgery. Makes me sick how he destroyed his body.
I've been sick with this "disease" for 8 years. Thankfully the whistleblowers are getting louder. The trusted institutions are failing our children. My heart breaks every day that this disaster of an idea permeates our culture. Strength and steadfastness to you, and love and hope for us all.
Say nothing. I understand this reaction, and I know why it hurts the most.
When we or our family members are seriously ill, people may say silly things, but they believe that their words can make us feel better and they try to make us feel better.
When we lose someone we love, people believe they can find words to ease our grief.
When people who don't want to hurt us say nothing, they know that there is nothing they can do or say that can make us feel better or ease our sorrow. This is the worst.
How did our society get to the point that our children became prey for a cult that profiteers by mutilating their bodies and ruining their souls to the degree that people prefer not to know they exist? How many more victims would it take for our society to wake up and understand what is going on?
I believe everyone reading this has at least one that is too many to continue tolerating this trans-demic.
True love doesn't affirm delusion. We would never let a teen with body dysmorphia to cut off body parts that this teen hates; we would not punish classmates of a child who thinks she is the queen of England for refusing to call her "Your Majesty" and kneel for her.
Gender-affirming care is child abuse for more than 99.99% of ROGD children. It is misdiagnosing and gross mistreatment for at least 99.9% of young adults. Medical transitioning is mutilation for profit; social transitioning is a preparation of prey to get ready for this mutilation. Informed consent in gender-affirming care doesn't exist as it could not exist in any situation when doctors brainwash patients into imaginary reality and conceal information that could help patients not rush with irreversible decisions.
We need to start holding accountable all these responsible for the spread of this social contagion. I think the first places to start are schools and college campuses. Gender clinics and class action lawsuits similar to the ones against the Tobacco industry should be next.
The tragedy of these situations is that there is no right reaction. The only reaction that I could think of is to ask people whether they want to talk about it. If they want to talk about it, maybe you can suggest them this forum.
Thank you for this perspective, I sincerely hope that you and your child can find happiness and contentment of being. As a father of a very young daughter (in California, no less), I feel so much anxiety and fear just thinking about your situation. It scares the shit out of me.
I don't care who she ultimately ends up wanting to love, but I want her to be able to figure it out on her own time, without powerful societal pressures (progressive or conservative). Most of all, when I am long gone and she looks back on her life, I want her to feel a strong sense of self-worth, purpose, and pride in the legacy being left behind! These can take a lifetime to attain, and many never do.
The practice of promoting or administering gender related surgical/hormone treatments to teens, let alone young children is egregious and wrong... We don't allow them to vote, drink, or go to war!? Yet we live in a society where this has become trendy, epecially if the parents are kept in the dark.
True unconditional love does not allow any room for ignoring obvious risks because they go against the woke narrative. Real strength is when you speak your voice, fighting for what and who you believe in, even when it isn't popular. Censorship, elimination of debate, and the weaponization of our differences is exactly the opposite: cowardice. As parents, we desrve to be allowed to speak our minds and have conversations about this without being called "transphobic". It feels good to have a community here where the discussion can continue without hate or belittlement.
Ignoring this does not make it go away. We (the parent, brother or sister, aunt, uncle, grandparent) are consumed with fear, worry, anger and resentment for our loved one who got trapped in this snare. Our pain is raw, deep and all consuming and other people do not want to know about it. Friendships are lost, relationships broken, social circles minimized. You are not alone on this insane journey. Stay strong. The truth is coming and may God intervene quickly.
You've heard and echoed my heart. Friends who understand what is going on and will listen and be there are gold. So many others just don't ask how my son is, and it's like he's gone all over again.
I'm going through it and I don't even know what the right answer is - especially if you are on the "other side" of the understanding divide.
💔 same.
yes, exactly like "Caitlyn" Jenner — a high achieving and depressed individual with a fetish.
give an inch and they take a mile — we need to go backwards, not to five years ago, but five decades
After reading just a few comments I’m thinking of myself & how I’d react to someone going through what this parent is. Not knowing what to say; not knowing if the parent is happily all in as in “affirming,” or if the parent is devastated. I’m probably thinking it’s better to just not bring it up.
If a parent is affirming, I’d want to ask where their brain is. If heartbroken I’d lament with them & pray.
But how to know which?
LLC
I missed this, but it is especially poignant and I’m sorry I didn’t reply sooner. This is so spot on and I can relate. That’s all I got.
This is so powerful. Thank you so much for writing it. When the real history is written about this catastrophe, you parents will be the heroes. Keep screaming, you’re being heard. Also, could someone explain and provide references about the dental consequences of transitioning, that’s news to me and I want to know.
Miriam Grossman MD
This transgender movement is so obviously corrupt and sinister it behooves me how anyone -- anyone -- could support it without a single question. It defies the craziest science fiction story. This is the REAL Handmaid's Tale! With so many self-sterilized females, there will be a premium on intact female bodies capable of bearing children!
The ramifications of affirming without questioning extend beyond the trans cult. This is a real can of worms but...in my experience as a college professor, it's even come to pass that you can't use the Socratic method either. That's not "SAFE." They are NOT to be questioned about ANYTHING. People supporting this in in the name of goodness and light are out of their freaking minds! Imagine the tyrannical assholes that will be running the world when we're in our golden years! Completely irrational, delusional -- and expecting their delusions and everything they say to be treated like gospel!
This is hell in the making not just for the parents -- but for EVERYONE.
The trans movement is a eugenics program.
FYI "behoove" doesn't mean befuddle or astound.
.
The rest of the comment is right on point—and it's the first time I've thought in explicit terms about how this so-called 'movement' is fostering future tyrants.
The parallels are chilling. The hallmark of EVERY authoritarian dictator, in all of history, has been to surround himself with obsequious yes-men who do nothing but "affirm" him and tell pretty-sounding lies about more complicated truths—with the inevitable consequence that, eventually, the dictator becomes so unmoored from the actual reality on the ground that his fantastical aspirations and increasingly stupid decisions/commands lead to his own ouster or death, but likely not without large numbers of his subjects dying first as a result of the same decisions.
Mao Zedong is a typically tragic (for common people) example. During the Great Leap Forward, officials in China's pyramid-shaped hierarchy exaggerated their region's agricultural output to curry favor with Mao, who would rage, fire them, or worse for reporting honest figures—so the state requisitioned percentages of those exaggerated amounts for export, leading directly to the Great Famine of 1959-1961, in which tens of millions of Chinese people starved to death even as the country exported the very grain that could easily have fed them.
Jerkfang, you couldn't sound more presumptuous and unhinged. Are you bitter that your bottom surgery robbed you of sexual pleasure?
Oh my goodness I can relate to this. I also get “you have to accept this at some stage” my reply “no, no I don’t “have” to accept anything.” People mean well but I will try to educate anyone who will listen one “well meaning “ conversation at a time
Here is a way to try to stop this madness: sue any institution that advances these deluded concepts.
First, these emotional, snake oil promoters will have to spend money to defend their practices. Second, if they lose they will have to pay, hopefully, millions to their victims much in the same way that cigarette makers had to. One can leaf through magazine ads in the first part of the 20th Century and find doctors openly promoting smoking. (We laugh today at the absurdity of doctors who encouraged smoking.) Hopefully some day doctors, surgeons, and pseudo therapists suffer similar humiliation and cost for pushing the "gender affirmation" canard. These brainwashed professionals could also be compared to the individuals who believed in lobotomies to cure depression.
I am not a lawyer but here is a suggestion: Contact America First Legal (1-972-247-3800); 325 N.
St. Paul St.; Dallas, TX 75201. http://www.aflegal.org.
I guess you are not a parent of a kid going through this type of gender questioning. While I agree that legal action is absolutely necessary, it is not easy when you are a directly affected party with kids at risk. For example if your kid is in a private school, the contract families sign leave little room for taking legal action against the school (which is incredible—those contracts need to become more balanced, not just one way documents to protect only the school). Thus, one would need to set legal precedent. This would require fully involving your kid (and the family) when they are in a extremely fragile place. There is an explanation of why most of these support groups remain anonymous. We also understand such a lawsuit would require a six figure commitment. Not to mention the risk in the current environment for the parents to loose their jobs etc. Thank god for all the people who are standing up for us.
And this disease our kids have hurts our health. Bern dealing for 6 years, hoping my son would outgrow it. Then I find out he was on hormones (age 21), and fell upon something that he had bottom surgery. Makes me sick how he destroyed his body.
I've been sick with this "disease" for 8 years. Thankfully the whistleblowers are getting louder. The trusted institutions are failing our children. My heart breaks every day that this disaster of an idea permeates our culture. Strength and steadfastness to you, and love and hope for us all.
Thank you for sharing. It is a type a grieving I never could have imagined.
Say nothing. I understand this reaction, and I know why it hurts the most.
When we or our family members are seriously ill, people may say silly things, but they believe that their words can make us feel better and they try to make us feel better.
When we lose someone we love, people believe they can find words to ease our grief.
When people who don't want to hurt us say nothing, they know that there is nothing they can do or say that can make us feel better or ease our sorrow. This is the worst.
How did our society get to the point that our children became prey for a cult that profiteers by mutilating their bodies and ruining their souls to the degree that people prefer not to know they exist? How many more victims would it take for our society to wake up and understand what is going on?
I believe everyone reading this has at least one that is too many to continue tolerating this trans-demic.
True love doesn't affirm delusion. We would never let a teen with body dysmorphia to cut off body parts that this teen hates; we would not punish classmates of a child who thinks she is the queen of England for refusing to call her "Your Majesty" and kneel for her.
Gender-affirming care is child abuse for more than 99.99% of ROGD children. It is misdiagnosing and gross mistreatment for at least 99.9% of young adults. Medical transitioning is mutilation for profit; social transitioning is a preparation of prey to get ready for this mutilation. Informed consent in gender-affirming care doesn't exist as it could not exist in any situation when doctors brainwash patients into imaginary reality and conceal information that could help patients not rush with irreversible decisions.
We need to start holding accountable all these responsible for the spread of this social contagion. I think the first places to start are schools and college campuses. Gender clinics and class action lawsuits similar to the ones against the Tobacco industry should be next.
I agree. See my earlier post.
Class action lawsuits in 3....2....
What is the best way to react with the most empathy? Nothing seems to be right. Some people get upset if you ask and some get upset if you don’t ask?
The tragedy of these situations is that there is no right reaction. The only reaction that I could think of is to ask people whether they want to talk about it. If they want to talk about it, maybe you can suggest them this forum.
Well said. I agree. - LM
Thank you for this perspective, I sincerely hope that you and your child can find happiness and contentment of being. As a father of a very young daughter (in California, no less), I feel so much anxiety and fear just thinking about your situation. It scares the shit out of me.
I don't care who she ultimately ends up wanting to love, but I want her to be able to figure it out on her own time, without powerful societal pressures (progressive or conservative). Most of all, when I am long gone and she looks back on her life, I want her to feel a strong sense of self-worth, purpose, and pride in the legacy being left behind! These can take a lifetime to attain, and many never do.
The practice of promoting or administering gender related surgical/hormone treatments to teens, let alone young children is egregious and wrong... We don't allow them to vote, drink, or go to war!? Yet we live in a society where this has become trendy, epecially if the parents are kept in the dark.
True unconditional love does not allow any room for ignoring obvious risks because they go against the woke narrative. Real strength is when you speak your voice, fighting for what and who you believe in, even when it isn't popular. Censorship, elimination of debate, and the weaponization of our differences is exactly the opposite: cowardice. As parents, we desrve to be allowed to speak our minds and have conversations about this without being called "transphobic". It feels good to have a community here where the discussion can continue without hate or belittlement.