My beloved son left over a year ago. I can remember his last night with us so vividly. I wish I knew it would be the last time I would see him. I should have wondered why he came down to dinner right away, usually he lingers. I should have questioned why he sat outside with us and didn’t say a word. He is normally very talkative, and you can’t get in a word. The day before he had been his regular talkative self. There had been no confrontations, and nothing had happened recently that was out of the ordinary.
This story could have been written by me. My daughter left in the same way. No warning whatsoever and it has caused so much pain for us. It's like they are all following a script. She's been gone for 1 year exactly. We could not have been any more loving and understanding. This is so cruel.
Our son’s disappearance was sudden and a shock as well. Our last visit was sweet and the last text received mentioned weekend plans with family. My question is, how many of these young men who suddenly disappear with no further contact have been groomed online and trafficked? In our case, there are many signs but not enough to take action. I continue to pray that “the yoke be broken from their necks” and that God gives us the patience to wait for that day.
I feel like I am in a similar situation with reality. My son left 8 months ago. Some days I feel like I am handling it and some days it all comes crashing in. I told my mom just yesterday I feel like I am living in the twilight zone.
I am so very sorry and I hurt for all the parents going thru this…you were a good parent, please do not doubt yourself. This is a very powerful cult. The powers that shouldn’t be want to destroy the family, the minds of the youth, the minds of all of us. Please do look for and find joy in even the smallest things. I pray your son comes back to you very soon, I pray for all the parents and the children.
I feel your pain. My son is on the same path. He moved out of state and has threatened to cut me off multiple times because he feels like I'm making him defend his decision when I ask questions. So far I've managed to keep my opinions to myself but express my valid concerns about the hormones and path. He did this to avoid solving his anxiety and depression. I know it is not the solution. It is so very painful for me, my husband, and my other sons.
This paragraph really resonates with me: "I was driving my car the other day and looking around thinking, is this really my life? ...." Hang in there. You are not alone in this nightmare.
yes. my son lulled into the cult to "avoid solving his anxiety" Of course, almost three years into wrong sex hormones, his anxiety has not magically disappated, and now depression, fatigue, brain fog, poor judgement, and poor self care are also issues.
My heart breaks for you and your family! Your story has brought me to tears as so many of our stories do. I wish that you weren't going through this even though it helps knowing that I'm not alone.
"I have decided to stop feeling sorry for myself and move on and find the joy in everyday life." This was me yesterday. Today hasn't been a good day. I feel myself falling into the abyss. Tomorrow I'll pick myself up and find joy in the day again.
I, too, look forward to the day that my prodigal comes home. Prayers for you and your family.
It is hard isn't it? Folks tell us to move on in our lives and do what is best for us. Sounds easy and maybe even wise and there are days when I can follow that path. Then days like today, my birthday, I stay in my jammies all day. So broken hearted. For those who think the advice to 'move on' is helpful.....they haven't walked in our shoes every day. I'm not sure about that prodigal son thing. Maybe if he is at all sorry for the pain he has caused. The door is always open, but I can't handle more pain.
People can't possibly understand that it's like grief, but it never changes. It doesn't get any better. Whenever we see our child, or think of him or her, it is a fresh grief.
I think I could forgive my daughter if she ever desists, but I don't think things would ever be the same. I'd probably be walking around wondering what tragedy would strike next.
I would be worried about pushing my daughter away more. I don't think I would send it either.
I have an added layer to all this. My daughter has a daughter of her own. So, my granddaughter is so confused. She asks me why she has two daddys and no mommy? I tell her she does have a mommy, but she wants to be a boy.
It's so hard watching the multi-generational hurt this is causing! I keep hoping it will end. But even if it does, how will we put the pieces back together?
I feel like if it does end and they come to their senses, we have to welcome them home, back to normality, without discussing our pain, and move forward with hope and love, without demanding an apology.
My daughter is married to a man and has two beautiful children. We are estranged from them, mostly because we don’t accept progressive lifestyles. We spent 2 years commuting 2 hours a day to care for our very premature grandson.
My heart breaks for you and for my husband and me.
I wish you a happy birthday regardless of whether your kids wish you a happy birthday or not, because anyone who reads this can hear, even through your self-doubt, that YOU WERE A GOOD MOTHER. Period.
In fact, you may have been one of the best.
I know I am a good mother ,and I always was and this all still happens with children of good mothers.
I also feel like I am living in a fictional movie.
That is because it doesn't make sense that this could be happening.
We think that if we raise our children well, they turn out well.
How very hard it is to see that really is not true.
This story could have been written by me. My daughter left in the same way. No warning whatsoever and it has caused so much pain for us. It's like they are all following a script. She's been gone for 1 year exactly. We could not have been any more loving and understanding. This is so cruel.
Our son’s disappearance was sudden and a shock as well. Our last visit was sweet and the last text received mentioned weekend plans with family. My question is, how many of these young men who suddenly disappear with no further contact have been groomed online and trafficked? In our case, there are many signs but not enough to take action. I continue to pray that “the yoke be broken from their necks” and that God gives us the patience to wait for that day.
I'm so very sorry for your painful loss. My own son left abruptly too.
The trans community teaches youth to do this. They teach that parents are hateful.
In my opinion, that type of "influence" is itself a "hate crime".
I hope you find some comfort. Sending you love and peace.
Yes! Not if but when he’s coming back. I believe that about my son with my whole heart!
I feel like I am in a similar situation with reality. My son left 8 months ago. Some days I feel like I am handling it and some days it all comes crashing in. I told my mom just yesterday I feel like I am living in the twilight zone.
Oh my goodness, all of this. You've said it.
Grateful that there have been so many on this particular thread who are so compassionate and caring. Not always the case. Praise God.
This such a sad story. How can anyone think this madness is good for anyone?
Psalm 34:18
I am so very sorry and I hurt for all the parents going thru this…you were a good parent, please do not doubt yourself. This is a very powerful cult. The powers that shouldn’t be want to destroy the family, the minds of the youth, the minds of all of us. Please do look for and find joy in even the smallest things. I pray your son comes back to you very soon, I pray for all the parents and the children.
I feel your pain. My son is on the same path. He moved out of state and has threatened to cut me off multiple times because he feels like I'm making him defend his decision when I ask questions. So far I've managed to keep my opinions to myself but express my valid concerns about the hormones and path. He did this to avoid solving his anxiety and depression. I know it is not the solution. It is so very painful for me, my husband, and my other sons.
This paragraph really resonates with me: "I was driving my car the other day and looking around thinking, is this really my life? ...." Hang in there. You are not alone in this nightmare.
You do deserve to have a happy life.
yes. my son lulled into the cult to "avoid solving his anxiety" Of course, almost three years into wrong sex hormones, his anxiety has not magically disappated, and now depression, fatigue, brain fog, poor judgement, and poor self care are also issues.
My heart breaks for you and your family! Your story has brought me to tears as so many of our stories do. I wish that you weren't going through this even though it helps knowing that I'm not alone.
"I have decided to stop feeling sorry for myself and move on and find the joy in everyday life." This was me yesterday. Today hasn't been a good day. I feel myself falling into the abyss. Tomorrow I'll pick myself up and find joy in the day again.
I, too, look forward to the day that my prodigal comes home. Prayers for you and your family.
It is hard isn't it? Folks tell us to move on in our lives and do what is best for us. Sounds easy and maybe even wise and there are days when I can follow that path. Then days like today, my birthday, I stay in my jammies all day. So broken hearted. For those who think the advice to 'move on' is helpful.....they haven't walked in our shoes every day. I'm not sure about that prodigal son thing. Maybe if he is at all sorry for the pain he has caused. The door is always open, but I can't handle more pain.
People can't possibly understand that it's like grief, but it never changes. It doesn't get any better. Whenever we see our child, or think of him or her, it is a fresh grief.
I think I could forgive my daughter if she ever desists, but I don't think things would ever be the same. I'd probably be walking around wondering what tragedy would strike next.
I feel exactly the same. It’s so painful. I wrote my son a letter that I never sent, saying much of what you just said.
Did it help you to write a letter just for yourself? Maybe I should try that.
I helped for about a day. I wanted to send it to him but one friend said no because she said it may push him away more. So I didn’t.
I would be worried about pushing my daughter away more. I don't think I would send it either.
I have an added layer to all this. My daughter has a daughter of her own. So, my granddaughter is so confused. She asks me why she has two daddys and no mommy? I tell her she does have a mommy, but she wants to be a boy.
It's so hard watching the multi-generational hurt this is causing! I keep hoping it will end. But even if it does, how will we put the pieces back together?
(Edited for spelling.)
I feel like if it does end and they come to their senses, we have to welcome them home, back to normality, without discussing our pain, and move forward with hope and love, without demanding an apology.
My daughter is married to a man and has two beautiful children. We are estranged from them, mostly because we don’t accept progressive lifestyles. We spent 2 years commuting 2 hours a day to care for our very premature grandson.
My heart breaks for you and for my husband and me.
But we cannot lie.
I am so sorry.
Same scenario here.
We are "toxic" and a host of other lovely descriptors.
There is a now a one year old granddaughter we have never met.
The disease is rampant.
You bring tears to my eyes. Love to you and your son and family.
I wish you a happy birthday regardless of whether your kids wish you a happy birthday or not, because anyone who reads this can hear, even through your self-doubt, that YOU WERE A GOOD MOTHER. Period.
In fact, you may have been one of the best.
I know I am a good mother ,and I always was and this all still happens with children of good mothers.
I also feel like I am living in a fictional movie.
That is because it doesn't make sense that this could be happening.
We think that if we raise our children well, they turn out well.
How very hard it is to see that really is not true.
But you were a good mother anyways.
Birthday hugs to you.
God bless you and apply the balm of grace to your aching heart xx