Saving Sawyer

“Dada”, I heard from the one voice in the world that makes me immediately drop everything. “Yeah buddy?”, I replied. “When I went to Disneyland with mommy I couldn’t go on the rides unless I wore my princess shoes.” My heart sank as I’ve never heard something so manipulative and mean in my life. I told him stand up for yourself, tell her that’s not nice, I don’t want to wear those shoes and you promised to take me to Disneyland, I should be able to wear boy shoes and go on the rides. He said, “Okay Dada, I’m tough I can do that next time.”

I met Sawyer’s mother in San Francisco when I was 27 years old, and after dating for awhile, one day she surprised me with the news that she was pregnant—thankfully, we were both so happy! Unfortunately, as time went on, her mental illness became increasingly worse and apparent.  I was constantly threatened that I would not be able to see my son unless I did what she said and was exactly who she wanted me to be. Eventually, I received a cease-and-desist letter, asking me not to contact her.

Subsequently, and very tragically, I missed my son’s birth. I did my research on what steps to take and filed in court two months after I found out he was born for both parental and custody rights. It took thirteen long months, but with follow through and determination with the family court system, I was finally able to meet my baby boy. By then he was fifteen months old and meeting his dad for the first time for no fair or valid reason!

Yet, what a special day it was...I will never forget this day.

After more court dates, I eventually won half custody, and now spend every second of my custody time with him. I choose not to work these days.

Unfortunately, the tragedy continued. I found out that his mother was arrested in an incident involving my son and brought to jail for child endangerment. Additionally, she had been putting dresses and makeup on him, and had said on social media that she was treating him as non-binary which she herself now identified as. I provided all of this information to the court. We had a five-day trial in the San Francisco Family Court with witnesses and everything. But the court chose to keep custody fifty/fifty and declined to rule on anything I requested about safety and her mental issues and as well as my request to demand she treat him as a boy.

My son is fully aware he is a boy, wants to be a boy, and loves being a boy. He will tell anyone that at any time if asked. If you mention anything that makes him think you’re calling him a girl or giving him something too girly he will tell you no, I’m a boy! It’s sad to think anyone would want the person they should love the most, their own child, not to be happy with who they are, and how they were born.

I’m going to fight and be courageous and do whatever it takes to keep my son happy with who he is—and, most importantly, safe. I have appealed the decision in the Court of Appeals in San Francisco.  I am spreading the message everywhere I can, and every chance I get that we need to protect children. Children cannot consent to having their bodies mutilated or their hormones altered.  Children deserve to have their innocence defended. When my son is older, I’ll look him in the eye and tell him that I did everything I could to protect him. 

If you would like to help me fight this battle, please consider a donation to help me with legal fees.