Great writing!! It is so deeply hurtful as a parent to hear the name you haven chosen so carefully be disregarded like it is nothing! The delusion they can change and rewrite their whole life is so maddening and hurtful. I think maybe they would understand more if or when they have their own children. Then I am reminded they won’t be able to because they sabotaged their reproductive system for the ideology 😢
The level of disrespect towards parents is astounding. Can’t they make one little exception for their parents and allow them to call them by their birth name? Do these kids have no scintilla of love or remaining attachment to their parents? How can they be so cruel?
For us it is doubly hurtful that our daughter uses a new (male) name. Her legal name is a combination of the name given to her by her birth mother, a middle name we chose to add to that and which is a literary reference to her impish nature, and then of course our family name. Her first name is the ONLY tangible given to her by her birth mother, who due to her own life circumstances was unable to parent her . . .
To find the "Report" function, look for the three dots to the right and below any comment. "Report" and "edit" are choices there.
Note that this space in the comments is generally an open one, where people discuss somewhat openly the issues of this trans problem. This does not mean that your comments are sancrosanct. Others can disagree. The best approach to a comment which raises an issue is to either accept the criticism or to discuss why the criticism is wrong.
I actually reported it a while ago. It wasn't criticism in any sense of being about the points raised. It was just a personal attack. The moderation here can be slow.
Oh gosh, what a kind and loving message. Thank you! I am trying to live my life, but some days are harder than others. I promise I will keep trying though. I am so grateful to the people in this group who are selfless with their support. Your stories resonate with me as I'm sure mine would with you. Like your Julia, my daughter is also incredibly stubborn - she thinks she knows it all. She really doesn't. Thanks again for your kind words ❤️
Hello Mom, your pain is far, far greater than mine.
After my Trans now dead H left us I had to decide what to call him in e-mails. I decided as follows: "Paul/Elizabeth". His real name SLASH his "female name". It was awkward. It was a form which no one else would choose. But it reflected two truths: (1) he was very seriously disturbed and (2) I knew that he was seriously disturbed. I was not "unkind". I was accurate. I don't think I could have coped with my children, own flesh and blood going down this rabbit hole. Fortunately our two children received only a few e-mails from him, and we never saw him in person. He had walked out on us, so why would we chase after him? Adult responsibility was something he never understood.
I am sorry. I feel so very, very sorry for your situation. XXX Una
I can't imagine hurting my parents like this. I think of all the dumb things I did, yet if I had changed my identity from what they gave me it would have killed them. Stay strong, parents.
Well said, there is depth and meaning in the names we give our children. We have the inaliable, God given, right to name our children and that name doesn't go away or change unless God does so. Only God has the right to trump the parents in this matter. I have not and will not relinguish the parental rights and authority I have as a mom. Yes, some of that authority does become less when the child becomes an adult, but it doesn't go away.
(I am using the term authority, not as a power trip, but because it's a term with spiritual signifigance. I have learned a bit about the concept of spiritual authority in speaking with an exorcist. I didn't discuss my daughter's name with the exorcist, I am just applying the principals.)
Another rational post. Proving yet again than none of this makes sense, & points yet again to the fact that our kids have been indoctrinated. I wait and I wait much like yourself for ‘the day’. And wonder will it ever come. My thoughts are with you…as is my pain
I, like you, are one of the parents discarded by our kids. My son called me a transphobe when I tried, gently, to point out that it wasn't possible to change sex, that anything he did was purely cosmetic. He angrily said that he thought I was 'better than that'. My crime was to find it almost impossible to call him by his new name. These kids discard their birth names like a snake discarding its skin. Somehow they think it will be easy for us, their parents. This is the selfishness of the cult. Anyone who speaks the truth is vile, transphobic. We're not. We love our kids even when they have disappeared from our lives.
Great writing!! It is so deeply hurtful as a parent to hear the name you haven chosen so carefully be disregarded like it is nothing! The delusion they can change and rewrite their whole life is so maddening and hurtful. I think maybe they would understand more if or when they have their own children. Then I am reminded they won’t be able to because they sabotaged their reproductive system for the ideology 😢
This is helping me today as we must set the name boundary. No more dancing around. She has made the demand.
The level of disrespect towards parents is astounding. Can’t they make one little exception for their parents and allow them to call them by their birth name? Do these kids have no scintilla of love or remaining attachment to their parents? How can they be so cruel?
For us it is doubly hurtful that our daughter uses a new (male) name. Her legal name is a combination of the name given to her by her birth mother, a middle name we chose to add to that and which is a literary reference to her impish nature, and then of course our family name. Her first name is the ONLY tangible given to her by her birth mother, who due to her own life circumstances was unable to parent her . . .
Sorry not related to this post but does anyone know if there is a way of reporting an unkind comment.
I recieved an unkind comment saying " I was the problem" from Anonymous in anyother feed. I have ignored it
Have you tried the "Report" function? Are you satisfied that you are not a problem?
To find the "Report" function, look for the three dots to the right and below any comment. "Report" and "edit" are choices there.
Note that this space in the comments is generally an open one, where people discuss somewhat openly the issues of this trans problem. This does not mean that your comments are sancrosanct. Others can disagree. The best approach to a comment which raises an issue is to either accept the criticism or to discuss why the criticism is wrong.
I actually reported it a while ago. It wasn't criticism in any sense of being about the points raised. It was just a personal attack. The moderation here can be slow.
Beautiful photo of a beautiful daughter - so sorry you are in this position
Oh gosh, what a kind and loving message. Thank you! I am trying to live my life, but some days are harder than others. I promise I will keep trying though. I am so grateful to the people in this group who are selfless with their support. Your stories resonate with me as I'm sure mine would with you. Like your Julia, my daughter is also incredibly stubborn - she thinks she knows it all. She really doesn't. Thanks again for your kind words ❤️
Sometimes I laugh when I remember our kids being young and older parents saying “little kids little problems”… we had no idea
I'm sorry for the loss and brainwashing of your precious daughter, and hope she returns to you soon.
Thank you!!
You're very welcome. I look forward to the day we see a happy post from you that she has returned to you.
Hello Mom, your pain is far, far greater than mine.
After my Trans now dead H left us I had to decide what to call him in e-mails. I decided as follows: "Paul/Elizabeth". His real name SLASH his "female name". It was awkward. It was a form which no one else would choose. But it reflected two truths: (1) he was very seriously disturbed and (2) I knew that he was seriously disturbed. I was not "unkind". I was accurate. I don't think I could have coped with my children, own flesh and blood going down this rabbit hole. Fortunately our two children received only a few e-mails from him, and we never saw him in person. He had walked out on us, so why would we chase after him? Adult responsibility was something he never understood.
I am sorry. I feel so very, very sorry for your situation. XXX Una
I can't imagine hurting my parents like this. I think of all the dumb things I did, yet if I had changed my identity from what they gave me it would have killed them. Stay strong, parents.
Amen to that. I will never use the made-up, gender inappropriate name that was assumed by my son. I love him, but I will not submit to this madness.
Well said, there is depth and meaning in the names we give our children. We have the inaliable, God given, right to name our children and that name doesn't go away or change unless God does so. Only God has the right to trump the parents in this matter. I have not and will not relinguish the parental rights and authority I have as a mom. Yes, some of that authority does become less when the child becomes an adult, but it doesn't go away.
(I am using the term authority, not as a power trip, but because it's a term with spiritual signifigance. I have learned a bit about the concept of spiritual authority in speaking with an exorcist. I didn't discuss my daughter's name with the exorcist, I am just applying the principals.)
Another rational post. Proving yet again than none of this makes sense, & points yet again to the fact that our kids have been indoctrinated. I wait and I wait much like yourself for ‘the day’. And wonder will it ever come. My thoughts are with you…as is my pain
Thanks Helen! I just won’t be a victim any more.🤞🏼💕
Your son needs to drop that course. What a waste of money, time, and effort to pay for indoctrination into the cult.
I, like you, are one of the parents discarded by our kids. My son called me a transphobe when I tried, gently, to point out that it wasn't possible to change sex, that anything he did was purely cosmetic. He angrily said that he thought I was 'better than that'. My crime was to find it almost impossible to call him by his new name. These kids discard their birth names like a snake discarding its skin. Somehow they think it will be easy for us, their parents. This is the selfishness of the cult. Anyone who speaks the truth is vile, transphobic. We're not. We love our kids even when they have disappeared from our lives.