42 Comments

I could have written this. I am a super lefty, LGBTQ-supporting socialist. I have a son, almost 16, who says he cannot be happy unless he has breasts. He has Tourette's Syndrome, and has always been less emotionally mature than his peers, including being very suggestible. Two years ago, he was almost an incel because of things he saw on YouTube and things friends were telling him. Now, after the pandemic's social isolation and too much time online talking to strangers (we didn't really understand what was happening), he says he's a lesbian. I think he is just sensitive, and possibly on the spectrum. I feel like he is in a cult and needs to be deprogrammed.

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Your comment about the medical profession acting in good faith is terrible misguided. The Academy of Pediatrics and Psychiatry have abandoned all science-based evidence and assimilated a progressive agenda to the detriment of the very patients they are oathed, to do no harm.

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I’m here with you! Thank you for stating all that I feel so well! Our children deserve better from all of the people who are supposed to safe guard them as they develop between adolescence and adulthood. The language gymnastics of abiding by my sons request to be called by a new name only grows more challenging and difficult. Almost three years of this has worn me down so much. Until this is your child, it all seems quite distant and hard to believe this could happen, yet as parents we are living in a grey space with only hope to keep us afloat. It’s maddening. It’s a shame nobody cares about our mental health - those who love too much to lie. What will become of all of us?

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So it was fine for you until it was your child?

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Until you experience it you just don't realise the truth. We are told that these kids were always like this, we are told these kids "know" themselves etc etc. When your kid suddenly changes track (goes from being proud to being gender non-conforming to suddenly saying this means they need to change everything about themselves) then you will go WTF??? And then you research obsessively and discover this movement is based on almost non-existent evidence and is almost cult like in nature. I dare you to spend hours and weeks researching (I'm a scientist so I have an advantage in evaluating the literature) and discover that the long-term outcomes for this are horrifying (shortening of lifespan, increase in risks for variety of diseases, worsening mental health, increased suicide rates - up to 20x, the list goes on) but often largely unknown. Plus the major social contagion going on with the incessant positive marketing and positive reinforcement of the idea from schools, peers, friends etc ("you are so brave", etc etc). It is frighteningly seductive to vulnerable youth who feel they don't fit in - and horrifyingly often ASD, gifted or homosexual kids bring led down a path to sterilisation and premature death. Honestly - do the detailed research and then you will understand.

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My point was that she was fine with this whole insane ideology...until it came to her home. It has not happened to me and yet, I know it is a cult and insane. I know the things you're talking about. I have been looking into this ideology for the better part of a year. I knew, just based off critical thinking, that this was a nonsense cult even before then. That is my point. You shouldn't have to have it happen to you in order to see how crazy it all is. Basic critical thinking skills and seeing how their logic doesn't add up should already tell you. Yet, she was fine with the whole thing, despite how nonsensical it is...until it "came to her home." Only then was she willing to realize how crazy it is. Only then was she willing to care about the psychological damage that is now being pushed and encouraged.

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I think most people are busy and don't really think much about it at all - not to excuse them but just a fact of life. Most people also think it's very rare and still think of it as a mental condition (which the trans activists want to deny) and also think most people have had full on therapy for years by proper professionals who know what they're talking about *and* that trans people have had the surgeries etc - basically, most people just don't think critically about any of this and have been tricked with the whole "be kind", "don't discriminate" thinking. It's sad but most people just don't think most of the time and rely on their favourite role models to get their thinking.

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Yea, you're not wrong. Sadly.

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My perspective comes from the fact that I'm a 69 year-old lesbian who has been out for 50 years. We old lesbians agree that if we had been born within the last 20 years, the more masculine ones among us, the former tomboys, would have ended up transitioning. Today, young butches feel like freaks, with no role models, and no place to go but male. Our once thriving lesbian community has been decimated by trans ideology.

To back up for a moment, the author says: “...we just don’t know enough—about the science, about the effects of medical interventions long term, about desistance….” But that’s not actually true. We know a great deal about the science and about the effects of medical interventions long term (it’s not good for females).

Literally all the academic research done on gender non-conforming children over the past 60 years or so, prior to the injection of trans ideology into the biological sciences, showed the same result: in any given group of subjects, most kids, if not pressured to conform, would reach puberty, resolve their dysphoria on their own, and come out as gay. The minority left over might go on to be trans, or not. Interestingly, most of the overtly gender non-conforming children who ended up in these studies were boys. As for the girls, we just suffered through childhood, reached puberty, and came out as lesbians. Transgenderism was primarily a male phenomenon. Trans ideologues have abandoned this knowledge, gleaned over decades of objective research. But the research is available.

A review and critique of that research in light of the American Academy of Pediatrics' obfuscation of the data is here, by Dr. James Cantor: http://www.sexologytoday.org/2018/10/american-academy-of-pediatrics-policy.html

And the view of endocrinologists: https://segm.org/

And the new detransitioners’ study by Lisa Littman, MD: Individuals Treated for Gender Dysphoria with Medical and/or Surgical Transition Who Subsequently Detransitioned: A Survey of 100 Detransitioners. Littman L. (2021). Archives of Sexual Behavior.

https://link.springer.com/content/pdf/10.1007/s10508-021-02163-w.pdf

Given that the author’s daughter’s gender non-conformity started early in life, she could very well be a lesbian. She appears to be on the autism spectrum, which is common for girls with gender dysphoria. The tragedy of her situation is that like so many before her, she may end up having a mastectomy and ruining her health and sex organs with testosterone before her brain matures and she realizes that she made a mistake. I wish there were some way this information could be imparted to her, such that it gives her pause, the operative word being "pause.” But it doesn't sound likely, at least not yet. Her mature brain is years away.

To the mom: I feel for you. I support your observation that powerful external, ideological forces stand between your daughter and her ability to accept herself as female, along with internal forces that we can't know about. She might turn out to be trans, but it will take years before she knows. In the interim, I can't help but wonder, why is it so important for the progressive teachers, therapists and do-gooders to encourage your daughter to see herself as male? What do they get out of it? Why does the erasure of female bodies feel so noble to them?

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This is so well stated, Beeswax. Thank you. I know a dear girl my daughter's age who would likely just be a lesbian in another time but is on "T" and views herself as a male now. My daughter has always been very feminine but is intellectually gifted and socially - not. I think she's pretty confused. Here I am the most conventional of straight women who always had a live-and-let live attitude - getting my trial by fire "PhD" in subjects I never thought I'd ever touch. "Trans" has become this one-size-fits-all solution to all discomfort. I personally take issue with the "turn out to be trans" concept. It appears to me that what that really translates to is a very small fraction of male people who are either hyper feminine and wish to date masculine straight men (somehow) or the AGPs who are straight with a fetish - some number of whom want us all to indulge them in their fantasy. OK, for adults let's - as a society - allow them to get their operations if they like. But, lets not perform medical experiments on children so that some people can enjoy the experience vicariously or so that their mom's can feel special. This is literally destroying women and girls both medically and through erasure (equality act, prisons, sports...). And, as you say, what's up with all the "do-gooders" who overstep parental rights? Teachers half my age were condescending to me and actively hurt my child by socially transitioning/affirming a delusion despite my and her father's instructions. How did our children become creatures of the state? Is this recognizably the USA anymore?

Looks like a mass hysteria to me.

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My god, how infuriating to be disrespected and sabotaged by activist teachers overruling your parental rights. I recently became acquainted with the term “mass formation,” another way of saying “mass hysteria,” in which large populations are hypnotized in a sense, losing their capacity for independent reasoning and falling into lockstep with a totalitarian idea.

You put it well: these teachers are “affirming a delusion” when they support the same garbage narrative that they implanted in the minds of children in the first place. It’s so evil it makes my head spin.

I understand your skepticism regarding the “turns out to be trans” concept, especially where females are concerned. I will reconsider my use of the term…although I’m aware that every now and then a female transitions, it “sticks,” and after years go by they continue to feel more or less happy with their decision. Buck Angel comes to mind, and there are several other public facing trans men who became gender critical, and now recognize that they have not actually changed their sex.

Given the current socially constructed epidemic among girls, it will be telling to see how many of them ultimately detransition. Their numbers are exploding at the present time and I expect that trend to continue. Dr. Littman’s new study shows that only 25% of detransitioners inform their doctors of their decision to backtrack. Therefore, we can assume that the incidence of detransition is far, far greater than we know.

The project, of course, must be to keep these kids from falling into the transgender sinkhole and wrecking their bodies in the first place.

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Thanks for mass formation.

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Thank you.

Buck Angel is great. A tiny number of people may turn out to live more or less happy lives after a "transition". It doesn't mean that they are really the other sex or that they have an inner male or female gender fairy/spirit. We don't have to believe in an ideology. I view them as being troubled but a lot of people can be troubled in life (right?). "Transition" could be the best of bad solutions for an incredibly small number of male and an even smaller number of female people. Sure, let's respect that but lets not tell all the school kids that they get to choose their sex and have teachers gas light them about their identity behind the backs of their parents. This happens at a critical period of identity formation when teens are naturally trying to figure out who they are separate from their parents. They get hijacked by a bunch of cheerleaders who will not be there to pick of the pieces. Messing with your body like that is a radical step and all the cheerleaders just smile and encourage saying "right on!" to youth who cannot possible understand future impact/consequences.

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Is deceiving parents being a good progressive? I can't imagine any universe where calling a child by a different name or pronouns without checking with parents is OK.

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I have two questions. Who deleted my comment, and why was it deleted?

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Parents are entitled to their voices, even if you disagree or it's not your experience, another parent's perspective still deserves to be heard. Let's work hard to support each other and realize that we don't have to agree on everything.

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This is your substack, and you are certainly entitled to set the rules for it. By the same token, commenters are also entitled to decide whether or not to write future comments for this substack, knowing those comments may be censored. Thank you.

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As mine was ROGD, I am not qualified to comment on other cases

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Thank you.

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Incidentally, FAIR, the Foundation Against Racism and Intolerance is holding a free Zoom webinar tomorrow evening on the topic of Gender Ideology: Problems and Pro-Human Solutions. The five panelists include Abigail Shrier. Here's the link:

https://fairforall.substack.com/p/fair-news-a-pro-human-approach-to?token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjozMzc2Mjc4MiwicG9zdF9pZCI6NDUwNjg3MDAsIl8iOiJVMlY0WCIsImlhdCI6MTYzOTUxMjc5MCwiZXhwIjoxNjM5NTE2MzkwLCJpc3MiOiJwdWItNDE1MjAwIiwic3ViIjoicG9zdC1yZWFjdGlvbiJ9.Mq5YWaS96rpCNDdf5MmT1cUjU7VwC2wnM1u04eP18GY

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I hope a recording will be made available online subsequently.

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You have good reason to be scared. The transgender cult is a powerful force and your daughter is vulnerable. Be strong

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I am so sorry to hear about your situation - now all too common. I would encourage you to use your daughter’s real name only, even if she has a fit. She is still very young and you can still help her. All of the best advice out there is not to affirm but calmly to uphold reality at home. Just because a young person rages does not mean she does not also appreciate the boundaries you set.

Like you I believe in an individual’s right to live according to his or her beliefs, so long as they do not harm others. But don’t force others to live according to them, too. The problem is that upending reality itself to indulge what is at core an autogynephilic fantasy is damaging an entire generation and likely our democracy. If you can force society to agree that "Trans Women Are Women," you can make them agree to anything. Anything. We have gone from wanting to be "non-judgmental" to having no judgment at all. I was always a "live and let live" sort. That’s not what this is.

And it is wrong and frightening for other people - especially in schools - to violate what parents want for their minor children by promoting an ideology (do we promote other religions behind a parent's back?) and use names & such that a child invented, often under the influence of groomers. The first lawsuits (Littlejohn, Florida) have begun.

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So well said

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I totally agree with what you say and if people dont speak out its going to become very dark, if not already. We need to safeguard our children and stop schools from actively promoting gender ideology.

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Already very dark in the UK

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Thank you for your beautifully written post; I am sorry for what your family is going through.

I too have thought of myself as liberal, and progressive. What changed me was the vitriol with which I was attacked when I questioned the trans ideology. I saw then that my "own side" was every bit as unscientific, in group-out group focused, and intolerant as the right. There is no way that there is not a social contagion going on and "my side" not only refuses to see it, they try to destroy the lives and careers of anyone who even considers it. We are supposed to know better. We are supposed to BE better.

No one who refuses to ALWAYS consider they could be wrong is not a good thinker.

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I got a little crazy with the double negatives at the end of my post- sorry!

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This transgender nonsense is enough to drive anyone crazy

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Dec 14, 2021
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I also have great sympathy for the author & think she does not fully grasp the situation yet. I appreciate the links above. I would like to add a few more and hope that it is not overwhelming:

Benjamin Boyce interviews Peavy regarding Gender Indoctrination and Public Schools:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mi-526ptMz4

Good news source:

https://www.womenarehuman.com/

Two-parter on MPI/MSI aspect:

https://bprice.substack.com/p/trans-is-something-we-made-up

https://bprice.substack.com/p/tiktok-tics-and-mass-sociogenic-illness

Who Is Funding the Transgender Movement?

https://uncommongroundmedia.com/stryker-arcus-billionaires-lgbt/

https://thefederalist.com/2018/02/20/rich-white-men-institutionalizing-transgender-ideology/

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Thank you, LM, for adding to the list.

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Dec 14, 2021
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Yes - this is indeed nuanced and not black/white thinking. I think a person can hold both ideas: one can believe that gender is on a spectrum (of what is socially perceived as male and female) AND also that medicalizing children is not okay in most cases.

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Do you know any cases where medicalising children with opposite sex hormones is OK? I do not. If a child is unsure of their sex, let them be unsure.

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I don't. But I do see a huge difference between an older teen who's been dysphoric since age 2 and these ROGD kids.

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There are probably differences, yes, especially in the sources of their distress. But none of them, young onset or older, have a medical condition for which cosmetic procedures (hormones, surgeries) are indicated. It's all a cultural invention, and a really unhealthy one.

And...the notion that anyone is "dysphoric since age 2" is likely a myth. Two-year-olds can't tell the difference between sexes -- or at least can't really understand the differences between sexes. If you give a Ken doll a purse, a child that age will say that Ken is now a girl.

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Yes, Jazz Jennings is likely a victim of child abuse, for instance, IMO. Adult people may have had a need for him to "be trans".

My girl went ROGD half way through high school. These girls generally believe in a personal past that never happened and they often don't let go of it all until their minds develop during their mid 20s.

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But why would anyone choose to agree with an idea that is patently false? The sooner we rejected the "nuanced" nonsense, the better off we will all be. "Gender identity" is not based on reality. It is a religion that has empty claptrap at its core. Women with penises do not impregnate men with vaginas. Never have, never will.

There are only two biological sexes, male and female. Humans have known that for many thousands of years. Intersex conditions (now called differences/disorders of sexual development) aren't separate sexes. No amount of wrong-sex hormones, disfiguring surgeries, or wardrobe and grooming makeovers will turn a woman into a man or a man into a woman.

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I could not agree more. The fact that some male people might want to wear dresses and some female people might not does not mean "gender is on a spectrum". This is about personal taste and stereotype.

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Totally agree. But a lot of these kids want to break down gender stereotypes and widen definitions of what it is to be a girl or boy. That doesn’t negate biology but instead focuses on outward appearances. It has all gone too far but I don’t want to throw the baby out with the bath water because I think there is some evolution taking place through this process. Sadly, and wrongly, our kids are the victims of it.

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Yeah, but I think there is a difference between kids experimenting with the way they dress (like if a boy feels like wearing a skirt to school) and the way the kids all seem to follow the same exact script which is what makes it feel so cult like. They seem to follow a specific sequence of steps (including a reinvention of the childhood they had). Then, they get affirmed at school which is really a very significant mental health intervention. After that - next stop is medical intervention and they are fooled into thinking it's not such a big deal or that they need to roll their eyes and tell parents it's no big deal or it's great so that they get their way. (They have gender euphoria and parents are bigots. Other adults care more about them than parents!) The young really do not know what they are getting into.

And, if I am not wearing lipstick this minute it doesn't make me less of a woman and more of a man.

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But "transgender" activists don't break down gender stereotypes, they reinforce them. Look at the autogynephile men who try to pass themselves off as women. False eyelashes, long pointed fingernails, four inch high heels. It's one gender stereotype after another.

And take a look at the next new horror coming down the pike as reported just last week by the relatively mainstream Daily Beast. I shudder to think what will happen over the five or ten years.

https://www.thedailybeast.com/inside-the-dangerous-global-network-of-backstreet-castrators-cutters-and-eunuch-makers?ref=scroll

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👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

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