My child stands on the precipice. He’s been perched there more or less for the past three years but, in a month, most of the last remaining guardrails will be taken down. At 17, a year earlier than expected, my son leaves for college. Once a sign that you’ve raised your child right, setting him on a path toward a (somewhat) more certain success, the idea of sending your vulnerable, indoctrinated kid to college is now the stuff of nightmares. Perfectly happy children leave, full of excitement and promise, only to return having rejected their bodies and their entire childhood. Or they don’t return at all. University health plans across the country blindly support the self-destruction of their students, providing drugs that introduce illness, and setting them on a path to the surgical removal and mutilation of functioning, healthy body parts. Who could have dreamed up such a dystopian horror show? What parent could have anticipated this heinous level of betrayal from an institution entrusted with your precious child’s well-being?
boy do I feel this. My daughter leaves for college next week. She has been NB for four years. but this week I discovered that she is now going by he/they pronouns, as I had feared. She will be going to a highly LGBTQ positive school in southern California. She has already made moves that convince me she is going to start transitioning the minute she leaves us. I cannot sleep, I cannot think of anything else except my beautiful child harming herself and continuing to have people affirm her delusion that she is a man. My thoughts are with you. No parent - NO parent - should have to deal with this horror.
Are you going to still pay for college? My daughter refuses to seek any help or read any literature at all. Anymore. She used to but then stopped. She calls me names and tells me to **** off daily all while I get her anything and everything she needs (except affirming). She's disconnected from friends since pandemic but now she is the one not reaching out or trying. She just finished 11th grade and at age of 17 I turned her internet off for summer. Her and I began bike riding for 8 to 11 miles 2 to 3 times a week. She just got her first job that she wanted and likes going to work. Her dad and I both spend a lot of attention and time with her. Offered to help engage her in other interest and hobbies she has mentioned she likes but so far always has excuses. Offered to travel on a plane somewhere exciting of her choice. Was so hoping she can get connected to someone or something as I was told once she seems dissociated with her body. The internet thing has went over WAY smoother than I anticipated which made me hopeful that maybe even SHE could see it was not healthy. We went shopping and she bought a jacket from girls sectio. And addidas shoes for woman (everything else from boys), had semi snuggle sessions (her sitting elbow to elbow and she would rest her head on my shoulder, all HER actions) this summer while watching movies in living room (as before she would be alone in her room on the internet)...baking, cooking, Barnes n noble book runs and she's been getting into hits from the 80s....all just to hear tonight, two weeks before 12th grade after I asked her if she wanted to do more school clothes shopping tomorrow, she said can I stop causing her pain by calling her daughter and then told me to **** off.
Never intended to write a book with run on sentences, I'm sure many typos...I think I need to seek therapy for myself since I now cry...bawl daily and I'm not typically even a cryer...like could go years without crying...and have thoughts and feelings all over the place including how much abuse shoukd I take? I KNOW I am a good supportive mom her whole life and now THIS and I WILL NOT harm her by giving hormones or agreeing to surgery. She repeatedly says when she's 18. I'm wondering should I take her off my insurance? She needs college to help support herself but I do not know and cannot visualize how to have a relationship wuth her looking like a man one day? I try to prepare myself mentally but feel intense sadness I just bawl, give myself a migraine and just become disabled for the day, in effect. This is beyond HORRIBLE and seriously UNIMAGINABLE and I am angry this is my life...does anyone ever feel like why do I continue to give and give for such misery? Of course I'm sure I will but maybe from a distance? I just don't know how to get through this than to just keep talking to God that I can't do this, this just cannot happen...I've never felt this way in my life!
I feel for you and can relate at every level to your story. I tried to rationalize and use logic and scientific studies, but it quickly evolves to her feeling ‘unsafe.’ Which I understand now means she just won’t engage.
Threatening to cutoff finances and medical insurance, appear to have paused the more severe medical transition. But I’m not fooling myself that the fight is over. Just hoping/praying that she will mature out of this in a few years…
Thank you so much for sharing and feedback. It really helps to hear I'm not the only one and that it has helped another family a bit slow things down. Just to share one more thing...we went school clothes shopping yesterday for the second time and I completely see her like many "girls" clothes. She will say "that's cute" but then QUICKLY check herself and day but, no."....I see a glimpse of hope in that. Have a good day Wade family.
I’m in Bay Area- epicenter of insanity, probably in same school district/ there’s lots of us sadly. They refused our calls for adding detransitioner day to the calendar. I’ve got a hold of the entire curriculum for sex Ed plus many assignments and handouts showing this garbage they shovel. It sounds like he found his strength and he will use it for good- he will be ok- it sounds like you’ve drawn a good line in the sand by not going along with this. Kids need that. Everyone else is shouting you can be what you want- which is not true. I’m sending my gender dysphoric daughter who is mostly giving it up.. to college in 2 weeks. I’m terrified. But I’m also excited for her as it’s a fresh start. You aren’t alone- I’ll be awake worrying as well.
I hear you and feel your pain. I am going through all the same emotions with my son, who is currently medically transitioning at the age of 19. I've had to let go again and again. Sometimes I'm ok then it hits hard and the worry kicks back in. Thanks for sharing your story.
My son as well began his poison pills (wrong sex hormones) at 19. No one actually "transitions" despite the lies that fuel the mutilating trans cult and the enabling by our sick culture that is stealing our sons (and daughters). It's all beyond sad, beyond awful. A mass psychosis that must be stopped.
I can no longer fight it. I have researched so many pathways into this whole situation and I cannot stop my son's decision. I just have to love him unconditionally because if I don't I will regret it the rest of my life. I still cry when it hits me and I find people's opinions and comments cutting. Even well intentioned friends who say, "He is still your child, the same person" hurts me. They are right, but do not understand the grief. All we can do is love them. They will not forget that when we have died. Our children will remember they were loved.
Well articulated. I relate exactly. Except we live on the East Coast and our daughter tricked us into a college 2,400 miles west to a liberal state. Funny, not funny. She has never been worse, but like you I cannot pull the education from her. I can only hope she will eventually get over it. But she is so, so, so, so deep in this I don't really have hope. Good luck.
STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS ALERT.... you have been warned :)
"Perfectly happy children leave, full of excitement and promise, only to return having rejected their bodies and their entire childhood."
This is nothing new. What we are witnessing today is a culmination of a century of feminism. It was feminism that first told young women (and men) to reject their biology, that womanhood was demeaning, that sex was a battleground, that motherhood was degrading, that taking endocrine disrupters (the pill) and caricaturing male (sexual) behaviour, male identity and male careers was 'empowering'. It was feminism in Hollywood that depicted petite women beating up men twice their size with a satisfying karate chop, and then gloating over their emasculating power and status as the more 'alpha male' than the most alpha male could ever hope to achieve. It was feminism that told women to invade male spaces and male occupations and feminise them.
It was feminism that told boys their budding sexuality and natural attraction to females was in fact the hard wired urge to rape women, an urge which they must learn to suppress for the rest of their lives. It was feminism that told boys their male ancestors had oppressed women throughout history, an accusation which defines all men as psychopaths. These accusations speak directly to men's hard wired instincts to protect and provide for women (an instinct which I would argue is even more powerful than their urge to have sex). The 'rape culture' narrative causes men to attack (and now medically remove) their own masculinity to protect women from their toxic masculinity and rapey urges.
And for women the rape culture/ patriarchy narrative turns all male attention, and all male behaviour, into an act of hatred, misogyny and war against women... which also resonates with women's natural (and necessary) neuroticism. As men stop being men, women feel LESS protected and become even more neurotic, which feeds the feminist beast, which drives men to self destruct even more... it's a vicious cycle, which was ALWAYS going to escalate from the cultural and behavioural... to the medical and technological. Feminism IS transgenderism. Transgenderism is 5th wave feminism. It is feminism done with a scalpel. The next wave of feminism will be artificial wombs and a genderless population.... something which feminists have been demanding since the second wave (without really understanding what it was they were demanding).
I truly believe young people cannot be shielded from modern day 'gender ideology' in a maternalistic fashion, and that's the theme I see repeated over and over again. "We loved our son/ daughter and provided a loving, stable, caring family.... and STILL they got sucked into a path of self destruction......"
The problem is not a lack of care, the problem is feminism has undermined / subverted basic biological reality to such an extent that young people now have zero grounding in reality and are therefore unable to resist the slide into the abyss (however that abyss presents itself to them). It could be only fans prostitution or simping, it could be genital mutilation and cross sex hormones, it could be gaming and 'grass-eating' (celibacy).
Ask a typical young woman what men are good for and she will likely struggle to answer, and will laugh at men's redundancy ...... even as she stands on a paved road, smartphone in hand, covered in cosmetics, fresh from a shower, and full of food that arrived in trucks, ships and planes from all over the world.... all thanks to men's labour and ingenuity.
This is just one silly example to demonstrate how young people are floating in space (la la land)...... OF COURSE they are going to fall prey to ideological subversion. They've already lost touch with reality.
Every argument, impulse, temptation, insecurity, emotion and wish that drives young people into a path of self erasure, delusion, escapism and body mutilation has always existed in all of us. What has changed is the lack of grounding in reality that used to counter such thoughts and ideas. Feminist ideology (the claim that NATURAL BIOLOGY is the cause of oppression, pain and injustice) must be deconstructed, piece by piece ... and history rewritten without all the patriarchy nonsense. Once we are all living in the real world again (a world where men and women are complimentary, rather than at war), the trans apocalypse will return to what it always used to be .... shyness, a 'baggy jumper phase', long bangs to hide behind, getting lost in your favourite band while contemplating the meaning of life, and all the other normal and natural manifestations of teenage self obsession and self consciousness.
Imagine the chaos of turning off gravity for a day. That is what feminist ideology has done to western society, intellectually speaking. We're all floating about in un-reality. What used to be considered radical feminism is now the default world view being taught in nursery schools. Why WOULDN'T young people be driven to self destruct / self erase their own biology, given that this gender-phobic ideology called feminism is now well and truly normalised throughout society (from children's movies to the UN)?
Feminism lays all the ills of society (real and imagined) at the feet of biology, and specifically gender. Humans are brilliant problem solvers. Either we discard feminist theory now, or we WILL end up discarding gender instead. And the transhumanists and technocrats (with their artificial wombs) are rubbing their hands in anticipation of that 'solution' (they're the same people who funded feminism BTW).
Forgive long ramble. I do a lot more listening/ reading than ranting. But sometimes I have to vomit my thoughts :)
Well said. Modern feminism must be destroyed. The feminists are out there now trying to distance themselves from the trans cult disaster. That movement, as you have shown, bears a good bulk of that responsibility. What did they think would happen after peddling slogans like “A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle;” “Men are just desserts;” and “If men had babies, abortion would be a sacrament.” T-shirts, and plaques with that nonsense sold well.
It is evil which desires to undo that which is good. There is deliberate design behind how men and women were first created. Man was created first and our creator decided that for man to be alone was not good and needed a soul mate. After all how was mankind going to replicate without male and female. Go read Genesis.
The two sexes are too compliment each other, and have unique God given designed roles. The male protects the female and is the head of the household, the family, and is designed to take the lead. When this order is not followed, (see my opening sentence), the result is things fall apart, or indeed are reversed. To be clear, it is not for man to subdue, belittle, or otherwise, women. Man and woman are equally created spirits.
What we are seeing is a supernatural battle to destroy that which God created,. Reflected on earth by the battle between conservative right and progressive left in different countries. Conservative thought is being diminished as mankind thinks it can do things its own way. It can't, because there is a naturally designed order. There are those who desire to impose a new world order upon the earth.and control its inhabitants. That we will own nothing but be happy. George Orwell's 1984 gives the lie to that.
The new order will see God's order reversed. Instead of father, then mother, then offspring it will be the reverse. Hence we see what is happening in education. Under Biden, the child is no longer the care of its parents but of the state. If evil can infiltrate children in school even in their earliest years, then parenting in future generations will diminish in its quality. The family, as the naturally created unit for the nurture of its offspring, is being lost. A theme can be seen through so much of this substance of non-contact between parent and child. There is contempt in society by children decrying their parents, saying we don't need you.
Be warned, this earth will not exist forevermore. There will be a new earth and a new heaven. Not all will inherit, for there will be judgement. Know where you are headed.
ETA: Straight men don’t transition because misandrist harpies have brainwashed them into believing that they are testosterone-poisoned rapebeasts and they must castrate themselves for the good of all women. Straight men transition because they're autogynephiles who let their paraphilia take control of the wheel. Their motives have nothing to do with feminism and everything to do with fetishism.
I wasn't really talking about AGP men. The explosion of transition/ detransition over the last decade among young people (especially girls) is a new phenomenon, and one of its features is a desire to escape from puberty/ gender / the body and enter into a kind of limbo state, or become a kind of genderless being. And there is also the new phenomenon of non binary, a-genda and the 72 new pseudo genders that have emerged.
All of this is consistent with (and an escalation of) feminist ideology which defines biology (the body) and gender (sexual dimorphism) as an oppressive force, and a source of suffering, injustice and misery which we must try and liberate ourselves from.
As I pointed out in my original comment (or maybe the one below), if feminism is about defining the problem (gendered biology), transitioning is about enacting the solution (transition). It is therefore logical that medical transition should become an epidemic after feminism has saturated society and especially the lives of young people (in schools, Hollywood etc) which is not something previous generations ever had to contend with. Feminist ideology used to be marginal and restricted to the adult world - it never invaded the lives of children, at least not the way it has done over the last decade or two.
The fact that you hone in on AGP men when there is such an explosion in girls and young women (and boys) transitioning or adopting a trans identity makes me feel you have loyalties to feminism and want to deflect all attention onto men. In feminist ideology men are to blame for everything and women are to blame for nothing. Women have no agency according to feminist ideology which is what makes it so appealing - without agency there can be no accountability, only victimhood and the entitlement that being a helpless victim provides. The downside is that defining yourself as a powerless victim with no agency leads to a terrible state of anxiety and a yearning for masculine identity (the only gender who have agency according to feminism). This is something FTM detransitioners have reported feeling and motivating their transition.
If feminism theory is a factor in setting up young people for medical transition as a kind of escape from biological reality, then millions of feminist women (and their male feminist allies and enablers) will have to admit responsibility for causing this carnage.
Seeing as how you brought up fetish, I would argue that feminism is also a kind of fetish. Nothing objectifies women more that feminism's assertion that women are the helpless victims of male patriarchal dominance. And feminism has always been associated with weird sexual displays in public (from slut walks to menstrual performance art).
The idea that women played no part in defining/ negotiating traditional gender roles throughout the ages is not just absurd, it strips women of agency and reduces women to mere objects. Feminism is the ultimate D/s ideology. And of course the submissive is in many ways the one with all the power, having transferred all agency (and responsibility) onto the dominant partner. This is precisely what feminist women do to themselves, and to men.
Feminist theory (patriarchy theory) is in essence a Male Power Fantasy. For young women this is traumatising because it defines femininity and womanhood in terms of inferiority and defeat. And for young men it is also traumatising because it defines masculinity and manhood as an oppressive force which hurts women.
In both cases it is understandable that sensitive/ impressionable (or traumatised and vulnerable) young men and women would seek to escape the horrors of manhood/ womanhood as described by feminism, and seek refuge in the other gender, or a non binary/ genderless state.
And many detransitioners do describe using transition as a means to escape in this way. I am only filling in the backstory, as it were. Without feminist ideology as the default narrative on gender (as it has become in the last 20 years) I don't think we would have had this explosion of transition and trans identity over the last decade.
" "Feminism" is not responsible for "gender identity" ideology."
It was feminism that defined gender as a social construct, meaning gender is not linked to biology but imposed by society.
It was feminism that claimed motherhood, homemaking and other traditional gender roles were imposed onto women by society (by the patriarchy) and are not a product of the natural biological drives, inclinations and predilections of women, which don't actually exist.
While claiming biology does not exist (social constructivism) feminist ideology also defines biology as the root cause of all oppression and suffering throughout history. After all, if there was no biology (no biological differences between men and women) there could be no oppression in society (no patriarchy).
Feminism therefore contains all of the building blocks of modern day trans ideology. Without decades of feminist ideology the current narrative on gender could not exist.
Feminism also gives us the solution to all of society's ills..... erasing sexual dimorphism. And that is precisely what is happening today under the banner of 'trans'. And these young people are also the first generation to grow up in a society where feminism is not only the default ideology in all institutions, but it is rammed down their throats 24/7.
If you fail to see the connection I can only assume you have loyalties to feminism and don't want to accept the truth of how destructive an ideology it is. That seems to be a common theme in society today.
But I would argue that if young people were to see adults bravely admitting they got sucked into a toxic ideology (and just how easy that is) they might learn how to free themselves too.
In fact the only way to save young people from ideological possession might be for adults to show how it is done, by doing it themselves.
"Just NO."
Smashing down an idea like this is a sign of ideological possession. I am at least trying to solve (or at least explore) this topic. You don't have to agree (or even engage) and I welcome counter arguments ..... but smashing it down with a "Just NO" makes it impossible to have any kind of conversation.
How can we expect young people to engage with us on these complex and nuanced topics if we use the exact same tactics they do to shut down a conversation?
Have you thought about public speaking at all girl schools? You should. So many "gender studies minors" are now teaching our girls that you can be born in the wrong body, especially if you are intelligent, gifted, good at math and like to play video games or God forbid, have a SSA. Females cannot possibly be intelligent so therefore, these girls must take testosterone to look like males, says HRC, GSA, PHLAG, GLSEN. This is the only way for them to fit into such a sick society has America has become. And if your parent questions why taking a steroid can possibly help matters (ruin your endocrine system and even get you thrown off an Olympic team in the 80's), then that's transphobic and even bigoted. It's exhausting. Parents are the ones who love their girls for "who they really are" - as females. It's the gender clinic directors who want to alternate their bodies who don't accept natal sex as real and immutable.
The first rule of misogyny? "Women are always responsible for what men do." BINGO!
You really don't know much about feminist writing, active history, or lived experiences. Feminism's central thesis is that women are human beings, with internal lives of our own, regardless of our state of fertility or how we exercise that. Both the Left and the Right find different ways to hate and dehumanise women by weaponising our female bodies against our wider human interests. The Right entrenched itself in the position that women were biologically incapable of handling complexities: of finance (until widows and working class women and the Great War changed that); of voting; of playing sports; of handling birth control; of managing a loan or a mortgage without a male signatire. The Left deemed us incapable of raising our own kids, or, conversely, prioritised us being Earth Mothers.
Don't mistake postmodernism for feminism. It isn't - it's intensely misogynist.
And let's not forget that men dominate the legislatures everywhere except Rwanda; the vast majority of the top10% of wealth holders are male; men are responsible for 97% of all sex offences against children, women, and other men; men commit 95% of all crimes against the peson; 78% of all crimes are committed by men. Men as a class are terrible at self-governance: #NotAllMen but far too many.
Trans Activism is a male abuse of power. When girls see that only boys and men are deemed to be fully human *of course* they say they're boys or men - who wouldn't?
The rise of Trans Rights Activism is predominantly male, lobbied for by men who make bank and gain personal power from it ("Susan" Stryker, for example; but see Jennifer Bilek, Helen Joyce, Abigail Shrier for further reading on US-facing capitalist medical corruption).
Stop blaming women for what men do and how men have failed to broaden their bandwidths.
Yes -- interestingly enough, men express their "fitness signals" to attract females, and the latest "fitness signal" is fealty to social justice and feminist ideology, white men bad, "toxic masculinity" and so on. Much of the impetus for what men do is to please women. Who invented the Pill? If the modus operandi of men was to keep women oppressed, e.g. barefoot and pregnant, a birth control pill would not have been created. Of course pre-pill, pre sexual revolution, men were obligated to provide for any human that emerged from their wife or girlfriend's body, whether that human was biologically his or not, so the Pill gave men a break too. I would go so far as to say that the whole 'patriarchal oppression' tyranny is actually female narcissistic projection.
Anyone incapable of processing the unintended consequences of feminist ideology is, ironically, incapable of critical thinking. This is not a desirable trait and, in my experience, it's women, mostly, who refuse to engage in thinking outside the box. Sorry to say it, but it's an inconvenient truth.
I want to go back to the patriarchy so bad. I really can't stand what's happening.
I have always found it interesting how feminism focuses on the victimization of women by a patriarchal system while ignoring that women participated in maintaining that system. It denies women’s agency by defining them as victims. Women are very effective agents of social control, especially of other women. Anyone who has been to high school understands that.
Sure. But the reason people like me can only criticise feminism in comment sections is that the mainstream media, academia, Hollywood and political realm will not allow any criticism of feminism. Criticising feminism is career suicide as a politician, actor, writer, journalist or teacher. That's odd, considering feminists claim to be the oppressed class.
Even a dog can figure out that feminism is actually the default ideology of the elite, corporate, industrialist class. As I have explained, feminism furthers their agendas: break up of the family, de-gendering of society and now body modification and the merging of humans with technology (transhumanism).
I am not suggesting the average coffee shop feminist wants these things, which is why I would urge every 'regular' feminist to reconsider their allegiance to this movement. Feminism and medical transition both advertise themselves as a simplistic 'miracle solution' to complex and nuanced social and personal issues. However, both have a nasty tendency to cause serious mental, emotional and bodily harm, as well as the collapse of civilised, functional society.
By refusing to even engage in debate, and framing all criticism as 'misogyny' perpetrated only by 'men' (because obviously all women must automatically align with feminist ideology!!!) you are making any kind of progress impossible. By dismissing all criticism you are just helping to polarise and radicalise society even more, which leaves everyone in the middle completely disenfranchised.
"There are as many versions of "feminism" as there are MEN criticising it"
I agree there are many versions of feminism. Everything is feminism (apparently) these days. I would argue that this is because feminism is a movement without a cause..... men simply do not have any legal rights that women do not also enjoy (usually with extra rights and privileges on top). Women score higher than men by every metric of 'privilege' and 'standard of living' (homelessness, incarceration, tax spending, divorce courts, child custody, reproductive autonomy, life expectancy, workplace/ college quotas, workplace deaths etc).
This complete LACK of oppression is why Feminism Inc. needs to colonise every OTHER cause, every other issue society, and every other demographic (gays, ethnic minorities and now trans) and make sure it is all appropriated under the banner of feminism. Intersectionality began to fracture the feminism movement, and now the trans issue is completely splitting feminism down the middle (TERFs vs gender ideologues).
The problem is that feminism was always just a bunch of competing special interest groups all trying to exploit the power of female victimhood in a gynocentric society, for profit and social engineering, with no actual singular mission statement that made any sense.
At its core, feminism creates the oppression it needs to perpetuate itself (as a multi billion dollar industry), by asserting that biological differences between men and women are inherently problematic (rather than complimentary). As I have explained, this 'grass is always greener' mentality feeds directly into the trans ideology. If every negative feeling, experience and social ill is caused by gendered differences, then eradicating gender is the logical solution to all problems. And that is what young people are now doing.
" I am interested in extirpating "gender". It is a poisonous concept with no basis in reality"
And I am just explaining that the end result of your campaign to extirpate gender will be a genderless society. Make no mistake. That is the only possible end point for feminist ideology.
Being a man or a woman is hard, and it's unfair. Life is unfair. And being born into a physical body is suffering from birth to death. Life is suffering! This is all true..... and it's not news.
Feminism combines a 'glass half empty' approach to life (and biology) with a sense of entitlement and narcissism, externalising all problems to 'men', ' the patriarchy' etc. The aim of feminism is to make all women feel rotten and then call on government to provide the solution..... which of course government is happy to do (more taxes, more social programs, more government interference, more government control over the children, more undermining of men's rights etc).
In this way feminism is how the state ('the patriarchy') separates/ alienates women from men, and then offers the solution: a state run harem for women which is basically what the we have now. Feminism is basically women rejecting ordinary men and marrying the state instead (the most violent men in society).
Now the same exact 'glass half empty' mindset and 'life is suffering' ideology is being used to demoralise children, separate/ alienate them from their parents and then offer them the solution: join the trans-industrial-complex harem for children and young people.
It's the same pattern being repeated. All toxic ideologies offer over simplistic magical thinking which is design to appeal to the target population. A good way to approach any ideology is to think more in terms of 'case and effect'. What will be the outcome? That is all I am trying to explain. It's very hard to figure this stuff out in little bite sized comments. I have tried to be as concise as possible :)
What a beautiful letter, thank you for putting into words what so many of us parents are feeling at this moment in time. My daughter is heading to college next month, from Nor Cal to smaller public university in the Northwest - we have been estranged "no contact" all of last year while she lives with her affirming father - so it won't be a big change in my home. Like you, I feel like it's one big crapshoot what will come next. One of my prayers is that she will feel "special" just because she is from California and will drop the trans/nonbinary identity. My other prayer is that she will have so much fun meeting new people and studying at the college level that she can drop her obsession with gender. I hope your son has a wonderful experience in college - his last year of him working hard and making grades and applying to colleges sounds so positive! - you can sleep well again without the nightmares.
I hope your daughter feels "special" for her own qualities and not because she's from California! What even does that mean? The NW is not a huge fan of California, actually, sorry to say.
A 'dystopian horror show'. That says it all. Who would have thought when we played with our toddlers and marveled at their perfect little bodies, their toothy grins, the way we were their world, that this would be happening?
I know too well the feeling of living on a knife edge, of being unable to sleep, of getting up each morning with a sense of doom. My son went off to college and didn't come back. I hope so much that you are lucky . I've only just begun to understand how the years prior, when he was toying with the idea, and the years since have affected me. I'm not the optimistic person I was before. It's almost like a mini PTSD. I hope so much that you and your son have the happy outcome you long for.
Your beautiful sad story about your sweet boy just yanked at my heart strings. I wish you the very best and I hope that your story has a good ending, that your son returns home wiser and happier and a man. Sometimes I think about some of the stories I have read on PITT, and I wonder what the end of the story will be and what will happen to that boy or that girl. The pain and heartache the parents experience is unimaginable as I am just an observer but I feel your suffering, as I do with my own sister. It will be a year next month that my sweet nephew left home and enforced the “no-contact” rule with his parents - it is so cruel! The entire trans cult is evil and I hope it is exposed soon - we need our sanity back and our beautiful children…unharmed.
Your beautifully determined story makes my heart beat in hopes for your son and your family. The boys I’ve seen who determine their own self worth with friends and family outside of the mainstream at school, with the help of wry humor and sarcasm seem to be doing better lately. I know a few families whose struggled through similar times and through trials and errors are finding a path towards purpose and contentment and 2nd chances.
Meanwhile families of girls I know are struggling in the mire of medicalization and victimhood. :(
Oddly, I see only the opposite, which shows just how random and individual this experience is. Hopefully between our two experiences, more of both sons and daughters are finding their way out of the insanity.
Having walked through the experience of grieving when my 15 year old daughter walked out of my family at 10pm at night in the UK, I grieve alongside you in your situation.
What we are seeing globally, is the spiritual battle over our children. Evil is doing its best to win a war that has already been won by Christ dying for each and every one of His precious children.
As with my daughter who once was beautiful in body and nature, but is not so now, but at least is still alive, as far as I am aware. I hope that in years to come, our lost children will regain their true selves, their original God given spirit. That they will no longer be estranged from us, will come back to us, even though it will be a struggle to see past what harm they may have done to themselves physically and mentally.
They will need our assistance and strength to walk through what they have irreversibly done. As an aside, I believe there will be many legal cases against those who have facilitated horrific acts of mutilation. How can medical doctors, surgeons at the top of their professions do such things? How brain washed can these supposed intellectual people be?
There will come a day when the creator of this world will returns, and there will be judgement. For those who have gone against His ways and damaged His children, not all people will enjoy eternal life to come in Heaven.
I have perhaps rambled. More I could say, but as I finish, for everybody who has commented about their experiences for what it is worth I stand with you.
Absolutely heartbreaking. That our medical and psychiatric establishments along with many educational and government institutions are complicit in promoting this deranged cult is beyond infuriating. People on the left ask why people oppose this cult and my answer is stories like yours. May God grant you peace and restore your child to be of sound mind and body.
Feel for you deeply & hope he finds his way back. I traveled 7000 miles to the other side of the world to try & talk to my kid. No luck. I broke rules.
Rather than college I think any job away from a big city would be better at this point in time, at least for a little while. Our kids lack any real grounding due the captured educational system - they wanted to turn out activists not scientists. College is no better and most are worse. Students have more autonomy to indulge what educational activists implanted already in college. Do not be demoralized, we should already know right/wrong, good/bad, beauty/ugly, true/false. Our youth on the other hand have not been led to discover this by most educators - they have been taught their truth is what matters most. I hope and pray your son studies diligently into something meaningful and worthwhile to keep the hounding activists away from entering his mind while in college. That will take a herculean effort on his part - strength, courage, honor, responsibility, duty, sacrifice and more to all abound with your son.
I was going to suggest same thing. Having a physical job, preferably outdoors, will teach an enormous number of vital life skills (showing up, working when you don’t feel like it, preserving...) A gap year doesn’t have to be an expensive vacation. Your son may find out there can be a lot of pride and satisfaction working a job that values male strength and endurance.
A job would be a far better education at this point, and will almost certainly give him perspective and motivation apart from the self absorption of the trans cult.
"A gap year doesn’t have to be an expensive vacation"
Work is an option and many have suggested a job relating to nature. The mom behind 4thWaveNow (which I read before we had PITT) had her girl work on a horse farm. Earning ones own money for hard work could be building.
And, 17 is very young to be away from parents who know and love a child best - especially when the kid is so confused with the Gender Cult Religion.
boy do I feel this. My daughter leaves for college next week. She has been NB for four years. but this week I discovered that she is now going by he/they pronouns, as I had feared. She will be going to a highly LGBTQ positive school in southern California. She has already made moves that convince me she is going to start transitioning the minute she leaves us. I cannot sleep, I cannot think of anything else except my beautiful child harming herself and continuing to have people affirm her delusion that she is a man. My thoughts are with you. No parent - NO parent - should have to deal with this horror.
Are you going to still pay for college? My daughter refuses to seek any help or read any literature at all. Anymore. She used to but then stopped. She calls me names and tells me to **** off daily all while I get her anything and everything she needs (except affirming). She's disconnected from friends since pandemic but now she is the one not reaching out or trying. She just finished 11th grade and at age of 17 I turned her internet off for summer. Her and I began bike riding for 8 to 11 miles 2 to 3 times a week. She just got her first job that she wanted and likes going to work. Her dad and I both spend a lot of attention and time with her. Offered to help engage her in other interest and hobbies she has mentioned she likes but so far always has excuses. Offered to travel on a plane somewhere exciting of her choice. Was so hoping she can get connected to someone or something as I was told once she seems dissociated with her body. The internet thing has went over WAY smoother than I anticipated which made me hopeful that maybe even SHE could see it was not healthy. We went shopping and she bought a jacket from girls sectio. And addidas shoes for woman (everything else from boys), had semi snuggle sessions (her sitting elbow to elbow and she would rest her head on my shoulder, all HER actions) this summer while watching movies in living room (as before she would be alone in her room on the internet)...baking, cooking, Barnes n noble book runs and she's been getting into hits from the 80s....all just to hear tonight, two weeks before 12th grade after I asked her if she wanted to do more school clothes shopping tomorrow, she said can I stop causing her pain by calling her daughter and then told me to **** off.
Never intended to write a book with run on sentences, I'm sure many typos...I think I need to seek therapy for myself since I now cry...bawl daily and I'm not typically even a cryer...like could go years without crying...and have thoughts and feelings all over the place including how much abuse shoukd I take? I KNOW I am a good supportive mom her whole life and now THIS and I WILL NOT harm her by giving hormones or agreeing to surgery. She repeatedly says when she's 18. I'm wondering should I take her off my insurance? She needs college to help support herself but I do not know and cannot visualize how to have a relationship wuth her looking like a man one day? I try to prepare myself mentally but feel intense sadness I just bawl, give myself a migraine and just become disabled for the day, in effect. This is beyond HORRIBLE and seriously UNIMAGINABLE and I am angry this is my life...does anyone ever feel like why do I continue to give and give for such misery? Of course I'm sure I will but maybe from a distance? I just don't know how to get through this than to just keep talking to God that I can't do this, this just cannot happen...I've never felt this way in my life!
I feel for you and can relate at every level to your story. I tried to rationalize and use logic and scientific studies, but it quickly evolves to her feeling ‘unsafe.’ Which I understand now means she just won’t engage.
Threatening to cutoff finances and medical insurance, appear to have paused the more severe medical transition. But I’m not fooling myself that the fight is over. Just hoping/praying that she will mature out of this in a few years…
Thank you so much for sharing and feedback. It really helps to hear I'm not the only one and that it has helped another family a bit slow things down. Just to share one more thing...we went school clothes shopping yesterday for the second time and I completely see her like many "girls" clothes. She will say "that's cute" but then QUICKLY check herself and day but, no."....I see a glimpse of hope in that. Have a good day Wade family.
Thank you
I’m in Bay Area- epicenter of insanity, probably in same school district/ there’s lots of us sadly. They refused our calls for adding detransitioner day to the calendar. I’ve got a hold of the entire curriculum for sex Ed plus many assignments and handouts showing this garbage they shovel. It sounds like he found his strength and he will use it for good- he will be ok- it sounds like you’ve drawn a good line in the sand by not going along with this. Kids need that. Everyone else is shouting you can be what you want- which is not true. I’m sending my gender dysphoric daughter who is mostly giving it up.. to college in 2 weeks. I’m terrified. But I’m also excited for her as it’s a fresh start. You aren’t alone- I’ll be awake worrying as well.
I hear you and feel your pain. I am going through all the same emotions with my son, who is currently medically transitioning at the age of 19. I've had to let go again and again. Sometimes I'm ok then it hits hard and the worry kicks back in. Thanks for sharing your story.
My son as well began his poison pills (wrong sex hormones) at 19. No one actually "transitions" despite the lies that fuel the mutilating trans cult and the enabling by our sick culture that is stealing our sons (and daughters). It's all beyond sad, beyond awful. A mass psychosis that must be stopped.
I can no longer fight it. I have researched so many pathways into this whole situation and I cannot stop my son's decision. I just have to love him unconditionally because if I don't I will regret it the rest of my life. I still cry when it hits me and I find people's opinions and comments cutting. Even well intentioned friends who say, "He is still your child, the same person" hurts me. They are right, but do not understand the grief. All we can do is love them. They will not forget that when we have died. Our children will remember they were loved.
Well articulated. I relate exactly. Except we live on the East Coast and our daughter tricked us into a college 2,400 miles west to a liberal state. Funny, not funny. She has never been worse, but like you I cannot pull the education from her. I can only hope she will eventually get over it. But she is so, so, so, so deep in this I don't really have hope. Good luck.
I will send you some extra hope! May your son find his way home when it's time. xoxo
STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS ALERT.... you have been warned :)
"Perfectly happy children leave, full of excitement and promise, only to return having rejected their bodies and their entire childhood."
This is nothing new. What we are witnessing today is a culmination of a century of feminism. It was feminism that first told young women (and men) to reject their biology, that womanhood was demeaning, that sex was a battleground, that motherhood was degrading, that taking endocrine disrupters (the pill) and caricaturing male (sexual) behaviour, male identity and male careers was 'empowering'. It was feminism in Hollywood that depicted petite women beating up men twice their size with a satisfying karate chop, and then gloating over their emasculating power and status as the more 'alpha male' than the most alpha male could ever hope to achieve. It was feminism that told women to invade male spaces and male occupations and feminise them.
It was feminism that told boys their budding sexuality and natural attraction to females was in fact the hard wired urge to rape women, an urge which they must learn to suppress for the rest of their lives. It was feminism that told boys their male ancestors had oppressed women throughout history, an accusation which defines all men as psychopaths. These accusations speak directly to men's hard wired instincts to protect and provide for women (an instinct which I would argue is even more powerful than their urge to have sex). The 'rape culture' narrative causes men to attack (and now medically remove) their own masculinity to protect women from their toxic masculinity and rapey urges.
And for women the rape culture/ patriarchy narrative turns all male attention, and all male behaviour, into an act of hatred, misogyny and war against women... which also resonates with women's natural (and necessary) neuroticism. As men stop being men, women feel LESS protected and become even more neurotic, which feeds the feminist beast, which drives men to self destruct even more... it's a vicious cycle, which was ALWAYS going to escalate from the cultural and behavioural... to the medical and technological. Feminism IS transgenderism. Transgenderism is 5th wave feminism. It is feminism done with a scalpel. The next wave of feminism will be artificial wombs and a genderless population.... something which feminists have been demanding since the second wave (without really understanding what it was they were demanding).
I truly believe young people cannot be shielded from modern day 'gender ideology' in a maternalistic fashion, and that's the theme I see repeated over and over again. "We loved our son/ daughter and provided a loving, stable, caring family.... and STILL they got sucked into a path of self destruction......"
The problem is not a lack of care, the problem is feminism has undermined / subverted basic biological reality to such an extent that young people now have zero grounding in reality and are therefore unable to resist the slide into the abyss (however that abyss presents itself to them). It could be only fans prostitution or simping, it could be genital mutilation and cross sex hormones, it could be gaming and 'grass-eating' (celibacy).
Ask a typical young woman what men are good for and she will likely struggle to answer, and will laugh at men's redundancy ...... even as she stands on a paved road, smartphone in hand, covered in cosmetics, fresh from a shower, and full of food that arrived in trucks, ships and planes from all over the world.... all thanks to men's labour and ingenuity.
This is just one silly example to demonstrate how young people are floating in space (la la land)...... OF COURSE they are going to fall prey to ideological subversion. They've already lost touch with reality.
Every argument, impulse, temptation, insecurity, emotion and wish that drives young people into a path of self erasure, delusion, escapism and body mutilation has always existed in all of us. What has changed is the lack of grounding in reality that used to counter such thoughts and ideas. Feminist ideology (the claim that NATURAL BIOLOGY is the cause of oppression, pain and injustice) must be deconstructed, piece by piece ... and history rewritten without all the patriarchy nonsense. Once we are all living in the real world again (a world where men and women are complimentary, rather than at war), the trans apocalypse will return to what it always used to be .... shyness, a 'baggy jumper phase', long bangs to hide behind, getting lost in your favourite band while contemplating the meaning of life, and all the other normal and natural manifestations of teenage self obsession and self consciousness.
Imagine the chaos of turning off gravity for a day. That is what feminist ideology has done to western society, intellectually speaking. We're all floating about in un-reality. What used to be considered radical feminism is now the default world view being taught in nursery schools. Why WOULDN'T young people be driven to self destruct / self erase their own biology, given that this gender-phobic ideology called feminism is now well and truly normalised throughout society (from children's movies to the UN)?
Feminism lays all the ills of society (real and imagined) at the feet of biology, and specifically gender. Humans are brilliant problem solvers. Either we discard feminist theory now, or we WILL end up discarding gender instead. And the transhumanists and technocrats (with their artificial wombs) are rubbing their hands in anticipation of that 'solution' (they're the same people who funded feminism BTW).
Forgive long ramble. I do a lot more listening/ reading than ranting. But sometimes I have to vomit my thoughts :)
I would love to share that...Can I? Should I anonymous?
Well said. Modern feminism must be destroyed. The feminists are out there now trying to distance themselves from the trans cult disaster. That movement, as you have shown, bears a good bulk of that responsibility. What did they think would happen after peddling slogans like “A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle;” “Men are just desserts;” and “If men had babies, abortion would be a sacrament.” T-shirts, and plaques with that nonsense sold well.
I can not argue with anything you wrote. You are exactly right.
It is evil which desires to undo that which is good. There is deliberate design behind how men and women were first created. Man was created first and our creator decided that for man to be alone was not good and needed a soul mate. After all how was mankind going to replicate without male and female. Go read Genesis.
The two sexes are too compliment each other, and have unique God given designed roles. The male protects the female and is the head of the household, the family, and is designed to take the lead. When this order is not followed, (see my opening sentence), the result is things fall apart, or indeed are reversed. To be clear, it is not for man to subdue, belittle, or otherwise, women. Man and woman are equally created spirits.
What we are seeing is a supernatural battle to destroy that which God created,. Reflected on earth by the battle between conservative right and progressive left in different countries. Conservative thought is being diminished as mankind thinks it can do things its own way. It can't, because there is a naturally designed order. There are those who desire to impose a new world order upon the earth.and control its inhabitants. That we will own nothing but be happy. George Orwell's 1984 gives the lie to that.
The new order will see God's order reversed. Instead of father, then mother, then offspring it will be the reverse. Hence we see what is happening in education. Under Biden, the child is no longer the care of its parents but of the state. If evil can infiltrate children in school even in their earliest years, then parenting in future generations will diminish in its quality. The family, as the naturally created unit for the nurture of its offspring, is being lost. A theme can be seen through so much of this substance of non-contact between parent and child. There is contempt in society by children decrying their parents, saying we don't need you.
Be warned, this earth will not exist forevermore. There will be a new earth and a new heaven. Not all will inherit, for there will be judgement. Know where you are headed.
Straight after finishing this comment, I went to the newspaper I subscribe to and what do I see as the headline?
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2023/08/04/children-aged-seven-nhs-transgender-treatment/
Don't worry. I enjoyed that immensely.
Feminism was corrupted the moment they let socialists in.
"Vomit" is indeed the operative word there.
ETA: Straight men don’t transition because misandrist harpies have brainwashed them into believing that they are testosterone-poisoned rapebeasts and they must castrate themselves for the good of all women. Straight men transition because they're autogynephiles who let their paraphilia take control of the wheel. Their motives have nothing to do with feminism and everything to do with fetishism.
I wasn't really talking about AGP men. The explosion of transition/ detransition over the last decade among young people (especially girls) is a new phenomenon, and one of its features is a desire to escape from puberty/ gender / the body and enter into a kind of limbo state, or become a kind of genderless being. And there is also the new phenomenon of non binary, a-genda and the 72 new pseudo genders that have emerged.
All of this is consistent with (and an escalation of) feminist ideology which defines biology (the body) and gender (sexual dimorphism) as an oppressive force, and a source of suffering, injustice and misery which we must try and liberate ourselves from.
As I pointed out in my original comment (or maybe the one below), if feminism is about defining the problem (gendered biology), transitioning is about enacting the solution (transition). It is therefore logical that medical transition should become an epidemic after feminism has saturated society and especially the lives of young people (in schools, Hollywood etc) which is not something previous generations ever had to contend with. Feminist ideology used to be marginal and restricted to the adult world - it never invaded the lives of children, at least not the way it has done over the last decade or two.
The fact that you hone in on AGP men when there is such an explosion in girls and young women (and boys) transitioning or adopting a trans identity makes me feel you have loyalties to feminism and want to deflect all attention onto men. In feminist ideology men are to blame for everything and women are to blame for nothing. Women have no agency according to feminist ideology which is what makes it so appealing - without agency there can be no accountability, only victimhood and the entitlement that being a helpless victim provides. The downside is that defining yourself as a powerless victim with no agency leads to a terrible state of anxiety and a yearning for masculine identity (the only gender who have agency according to feminism). This is something FTM detransitioners have reported feeling and motivating their transition.
If feminism theory is a factor in setting up young people for medical transition as a kind of escape from biological reality, then millions of feminist women (and their male feminist allies and enablers) will have to admit responsibility for causing this carnage.
Seeing as how you brought up fetish, I would argue that feminism is also a kind of fetish. Nothing objectifies women more that feminism's assertion that women are the helpless victims of male patriarchal dominance. And feminism has always been associated with weird sexual displays in public (from slut walks to menstrual performance art).
The idea that women played no part in defining/ negotiating traditional gender roles throughout the ages is not just absurd, it strips women of agency and reduces women to mere objects. Feminism is the ultimate D/s ideology. And of course the submissive is in many ways the one with all the power, having transferred all agency (and responsibility) onto the dominant partner. This is precisely what feminist women do to themselves, and to men.
Feminist theory (patriarchy theory) is in essence a Male Power Fantasy. For young women this is traumatising because it defines femininity and womanhood in terms of inferiority and defeat. And for young men it is also traumatising because it defines masculinity and manhood as an oppressive force which hurts women.
In both cases it is understandable that sensitive/ impressionable (or traumatised and vulnerable) young men and women would seek to escape the horrors of manhood/ womanhood as described by feminism, and seek refuge in the other gender, or a non binary/ genderless state.
And many detransitioners do describe using transition as a means to escape in this way. I am only filling in the backstory, as it were. Without feminist ideology as the default narrative on gender (as it has become in the last 20 years) I don't think we would have had this explosion of transition and trans identity over the last decade.
Just go away. "Feminism" is not responsible for "gender identity" ideology. Just NO.
You don't have to agree with her premise. But she does not have to "go away". She has as much right as anyone here to express her ideas.
It depends on which “wave” of feminism you are talking about. Some of it has fed into transgenderism.
" "Feminism" is not responsible for "gender identity" ideology."
It was feminism that defined gender as a social construct, meaning gender is not linked to biology but imposed by society.
It was feminism that claimed motherhood, homemaking and other traditional gender roles were imposed onto women by society (by the patriarchy) and are not a product of the natural biological drives, inclinations and predilections of women, which don't actually exist.
While claiming biology does not exist (social constructivism) feminist ideology also defines biology as the root cause of all oppression and suffering throughout history. After all, if there was no biology (no biological differences between men and women) there could be no oppression in society (no patriarchy).
Feminism therefore contains all of the building blocks of modern day trans ideology. Without decades of feminist ideology the current narrative on gender could not exist.
Feminism also gives us the solution to all of society's ills..... erasing sexual dimorphism. And that is precisely what is happening today under the banner of 'trans'. And these young people are also the first generation to grow up in a society where feminism is not only the default ideology in all institutions, but it is rammed down their throats 24/7.
If you fail to see the connection I can only assume you have loyalties to feminism and don't want to accept the truth of how destructive an ideology it is. That seems to be a common theme in society today.
But I would argue that if young people were to see adults bravely admitting they got sucked into a toxic ideology (and just how easy that is) they might learn how to free themselves too.
In fact the only way to save young people from ideological possession might be for adults to show how it is done, by doing it themselves.
"Just NO."
Smashing down an idea like this is a sign of ideological possession. I am at least trying to solve (or at least explore) this topic. You don't have to agree (or even engage) and I welcome counter arguments ..... but smashing it down with a "Just NO" makes it impossible to have any kind of conversation.
How can we expect young people to engage with us on these complex and nuanced topics if we use the exact same tactics they do to shut down a conversation?
Have you thought about public speaking at all girl schools? You should. So many "gender studies minors" are now teaching our girls that you can be born in the wrong body, especially if you are intelligent, gifted, good at math and like to play video games or God forbid, have a SSA. Females cannot possibly be intelligent so therefore, these girls must take testosterone to look like males, says HRC, GSA, PHLAG, GLSEN. This is the only way for them to fit into such a sick society has America has become. And if your parent questions why taking a steroid can possibly help matters (ruin your endocrine system and even get you thrown off an Olympic team in the 80's), then that's transphobic and even bigoted. It's exhausting. Parents are the ones who love their girls for "who they really are" - as females. It's the gender clinic directors who want to alternate their bodies who don't accept natal sex as real and immutable.
The first rule of misogyny? "Women are always responsible for what men do." BINGO!
You really don't know much about feminist writing, active history, or lived experiences. Feminism's central thesis is that women are human beings, with internal lives of our own, regardless of our state of fertility or how we exercise that. Both the Left and the Right find different ways to hate and dehumanise women by weaponising our female bodies against our wider human interests. The Right entrenched itself in the position that women were biologically incapable of handling complexities: of finance (until widows and working class women and the Great War changed that); of voting; of playing sports; of handling birth control; of managing a loan or a mortgage without a male signatire. The Left deemed us incapable of raising our own kids, or, conversely, prioritised us being Earth Mothers.
Don't mistake postmodernism for feminism. It isn't - it's intensely misogynist.
And let's not forget that men dominate the legislatures everywhere except Rwanda; the vast majority of the top10% of wealth holders are male; men are responsible for 97% of all sex offences against children, women, and other men; men commit 95% of all crimes against the peson; 78% of all crimes are committed by men. Men as a class are terrible at self-governance: #NotAllMen but far too many.
Trans Activism is a male abuse of power. When girls see that only boys and men are deemed to be fully human *of course* they say they're boys or men - who wouldn't?
The rise of Trans Rights Activism is predominantly male, lobbied for by men who make bank and gain personal power from it ("Susan" Stryker, for example; but see Jennifer Bilek, Helen Joyce, Abigail Shrier for further reading on US-facing capitalist medical corruption).
Stop blaming women for what men do and how men have failed to broaden their bandwidths.
Yes -- interestingly enough, men express their "fitness signals" to attract females, and the latest "fitness signal" is fealty to social justice and feminist ideology, white men bad, "toxic masculinity" and so on. Much of the impetus for what men do is to please women. Who invented the Pill? If the modus operandi of men was to keep women oppressed, e.g. barefoot and pregnant, a birth control pill would not have been created. Of course pre-pill, pre sexual revolution, men were obligated to provide for any human that emerged from their wife or girlfriend's body, whether that human was biologically his or not, so the Pill gave men a break too. I would go so far as to say that the whole 'patriarchal oppression' tyranny is actually female narcissistic projection.
Anyone incapable of processing the unintended consequences of feminist ideology is, ironically, incapable of critical thinking. This is not a desirable trait and, in my experience, it's women, mostly, who refuse to engage in thinking outside the box. Sorry to say it, but it's an inconvenient truth.
I want to go back to the patriarchy so bad. I really can't stand what's happening.
I have always found it interesting how feminism focuses on the victimization of women by a patriarchal system while ignoring that women participated in maintaining that system. It denies women’s agency by defining them as victims. Women are very effective agents of social control, especially of other women. Anyone who has been to high school understands that.
(1) Far too long. (2) There are as many versions of "feminism" as there are MEN criticising it.
(1) I am interested in extirpating "gender". It is a poisonous concept with no basis in reality.
"(1) Far too long."
Sure. But the reason people like me can only criticise feminism in comment sections is that the mainstream media, academia, Hollywood and political realm will not allow any criticism of feminism. Criticising feminism is career suicide as a politician, actor, writer, journalist or teacher. That's odd, considering feminists claim to be the oppressed class.
Even a dog can figure out that feminism is actually the default ideology of the elite, corporate, industrialist class. As I have explained, feminism furthers their agendas: break up of the family, de-gendering of society and now body modification and the merging of humans with technology (transhumanism).
I am not suggesting the average coffee shop feminist wants these things, which is why I would urge every 'regular' feminist to reconsider their allegiance to this movement. Feminism and medical transition both advertise themselves as a simplistic 'miracle solution' to complex and nuanced social and personal issues. However, both have a nasty tendency to cause serious mental, emotional and bodily harm, as well as the collapse of civilised, functional society.
By refusing to even engage in debate, and framing all criticism as 'misogyny' perpetrated only by 'men' (because obviously all women must automatically align with feminist ideology!!!) you are making any kind of progress impossible. By dismissing all criticism you are just helping to polarise and radicalise society even more, which leaves everyone in the middle completely disenfranchised.
"There are as many versions of "feminism" as there are MEN criticising it"
I agree there are many versions of feminism. Everything is feminism (apparently) these days. I would argue that this is because feminism is a movement without a cause..... men simply do not have any legal rights that women do not also enjoy (usually with extra rights and privileges on top). Women score higher than men by every metric of 'privilege' and 'standard of living' (homelessness, incarceration, tax spending, divorce courts, child custody, reproductive autonomy, life expectancy, workplace/ college quotas, workplace deaths etc).
This complete LACK of oppression is why Feminism Inc. needs to colonise every OTHER cause, every other issue society, and every other demographic (gays, ethnic minorities and now trans) and make sure it is all appropriated under the banner of feminism. Intersectionality began to fracture the feminism movement, and now the trans issue is completely splitting feminism down the middle (TERFs vs gender ideologues).
The problem is that feminism was always just a bunch of competing special interest groups all trying to exploit the power of female victimhood in a gynocentric society, for profit and social engineering, with no actual singular mission statement that made any sense.
At its core, feminism creates the oppression it needs to perpetuate itself (as a multi billion dollar industry), by asserting that biological differences between men and women are inherently problematic (rather than complimentary). As I have explained, this 'grass is always greener' mentality feeds directly into the trans ideology. If every negative feeling, experience and social ill is caused by gendered differences, then eradicating gender is the logical solution to all problems. And that is what young people are now doing.
" I am interested in extirpating "gender". It is a poisonous concept with no basis in reality"
And I am just explaining that the end result of your campaign to extirpate gender will be a genderless society. Make no mistake. That is the only possible end point for feminist ideology.
Being a man or a woman is hard, and it's unfair. Life is unfair. And being born into a physical body is suffering from birth to death. Life is suffering! This is all true..... and it's not news.
Feminism combines a 'glass half empty' approach to life (and biology) with a sense of entitlement and narcissism, externalising all problems to 'men', ' the patriarchy' etc. The aim of feminism is to make all women feel rotten and then call on government to provide the solution..... which of course government is happy to do (more taxes, more social programs, more government interference, more government control over the children, more undermining of men's rights etc).
In this way feminism is how the state ('the patriarchy') separates/ alienates women from men, and then offers the solution: a state run harem for women which is basically what the we have now. Feminism is basically women rejecting ordinary men and marrying the state instead (the most violent men in society).
Now the same exact 'glass half empty' mindset and 'life is suffering' ideology is being used to demoralise children, separate/ alienate them from their parents and then offer them the solution: join the trans-industrial-complex harem for children and young people.
It's the same pattern being repeated. All toxic ideologies offer over simplistic magical thinking which is design to appeal to the target population. A good way to approach any ideology is to think more in terms of 'case and effect'. What will be the outcome? That is all I am trying to explain. It's very hard to figure this stuff out in little bite sized comments. I have tried to be as concise as possible :)
I rest my case.
I do agree with some of your ideas. Thanks for the viewpoint.
What a beautiful letter, thank you for putting into words what so many of us parents are feeling at this moment in time. My daughter is heading to college next month, from Nor Cal to smaller public university in the Northwest - we have been estranged "no contact" all of last year while she lives with her affirming father - so it won't be a big change in my home. Like you, I feel like it's one big crapshoot what will come next. One of my prayers is that she will feel "special" just because she is from California and will drop the trans/nonbinary identity. My other prayer is that she will have so much fun meeting new people and studying at the college level that she can drop her obsession with gender. I hope your son has a wonderful experience in college - his last year of him working hard and making grades and applying to colleges sounds so positive! - you can sleep well again without the nightmares.
I hope your daughter feels "special" for her own qualities and not because she's from California! What even does that mean? The NW is not a huge fan of California, actually, sorry to say.
A 'dystopian horror show'. That says it all. Who would have thought when we played with our toddlers and marveled at their perfect little bodies, their toothy grins, the way we were their world, that this would be happening?
I know too well the feeling of living on a knife edge, of being unable to sleep, of getting up each morning with a sense of doom. My son went off to college and didn't come back. I hope so much that you are lucky . I've only just begun to understand how the years prior, when he was toying with the idea, and the years since have affected me. I'm not the optimistic person I was before. It's almost like a mini PTSD. I hope so much that you and your son have the happy outcome you long for.
Your beautiful sad story about your sweet boy just yanked at my heart strings. I wish you the very best and I hope that your story has a good ending, that your son returns home wiser and happier and a man. Sometimes I think about some of the stories I have read on PITT, and I wonder what the end of the story will be and what will happen to that boy or that girl. The pain and heartache the parents experience is unimaginable as I am just an observer but I feel your suffering, as I do with my own sister. It will be a year next month that my sweet nephew left home and enforced the “no-contact” rule with his parents - it is so cruel! The entire trans cult is evil and I hope it is exposed soon - we need our sanity back and our beautiful children…unharmed.
Your beautifully determined story makes my heart beat in hopes for your son and your family. The boys I’ve seen who determine their own self worth with friends and family outside of the mainstream at school, with the help of wry humor and sarcasm seem to be doing better lately. I know a few families whose struggled through similar times and through trials and errors are finding a path towards purpose and contentment and 2nd chances.
Meanwhile families of girls I know are struggling in the mire of medicalization and victimhood. :(
Oddly, I see only the opposite, which shows just how random and individual this experience is. Hopefully between our two experiences, more of both sons and daughters are finding their way out of the insanity.
Having walked through the experience of grieving when my 15 year old daughter walked out of my family at 10pm at night in the UK, I grieve alongside you in your situation.
What we are seeing globally, is the spiritual battle over our children. Evil is doing its best to win a war that has already been won by Christ dying for each and every one of His precious children.
As with my daughter who once was beautiful in body and nature, but is not so now, but at least is still alive, as far as I am aware. I hope that in years to come, our lost children will regain their true selves, their original God given spirit. That they will no longer be estranged from us, will come back to us, even though it will be a struggle to see past what harm they may have done to themselves physically and mentally.
They will need our assistance and strength to walk through what they have irreversibly done. As an aside, I believe there will be many legal cases against those who have facilitated horrific acts of mutilation. How can medical doctors, surgeons at the top of their professions do such things? How brain washed can these supposed intellectual people be?
There will come a day when the creator of this world will returns, and there will be judgement. For those who have gone against His ways and damaged His children, not all people will enjoy eternal life to come in Heaven.
I have perhaps rambled. More I could say, but as I finish, for everybody who has commented about their experiences for what it is worth I stand with you.
Not rambling.
Heartfelt truth.
Praying alongside you brother!
🙏🙏🙏
How terrible for you and your family. Wishing you strength and wishing for your daughter to see the light and return home.
Prayers for your son and for you!
Absolutely heartbreaking. That our medical and psychiatric establishments along with many educational and government institutions are complicit in promoting this deranged cult is beyond infuriating. People on the left ask why people oppose this cult and my answer is stories like yours. May God grant you peace and restore your child to be of sound mind and body.
Feel for you deeply & hope he finds his way back. I traveled 7000 miles to the other side of the world to try & talk to my kid. No luck. I broke rules.
Rather than college I think any job away from a big city would be better at this point in time, at least for a little while. Our kids lack any real grounding due the captured educational system - they wanted to turn out activists not scientists. College is no better and most are worse. Students have more autonomy to indulge what educational activists implanted already in college. Do not be demoralized, we should already know right/wrong, good/bad, beauty/ugly, true/false. Our youth on the other hand have not been led to discover this by most educators - they have been taught their truth is what matters most. I hope and pray your son studies diligently into something meaningful and worthwhile to keep the hounding activists away from entering his mind while in college. That will take a herculean effort on his part - strength, courage, honor, responsibility, duty, sacrifice and more to all abound with your son.
I was going to suggest same thing. Having a physical job, preferably outdoors, will teach an enormous number of vital life skills (showing up, working when you don’t feel like it, preserving...) A gap year doesn’t have to be an expensive vacation. Your son may find out there can be a lot of pride and satisfaction working a job that values male strength and endurance.
A job would be a far better education at this point, and will almost certainly give him perspective and motivation apart from the self absorption of the trans cult.
"A gap year doesn’t have to be an expensive vacation"
Work is an option and many have suggested a job relating to nature. The mom behind 4thWaveNow (which I read before we had PITT) had her girl work on a horse farm. Earning ones own money for hard work could be building.
And, 17 is very young to be away from parents who know and love a child best - especially when the kid is so confused with the Gender Cult Religion.