Another PITT essay that made me cry. I tried so hard to make up for things in my childhood that fell short, at least as I perceived them. I was determined to have that close, joy filled relationship with my 3 kids that my mother couldn't quite achieve. I worked very hard to give my kids a happy, fun, stimulating childhood. So when my thi…
Another PITT essay that made me cry. I tried so hard to make up for things in my childhood that fell short, at least as I perceived them. I was determined to have that close, joy filled relationship with my 3 kids that my mother couldn't quite achieve. I worked very hard to give my kids a happy, fun, stimulating childhood. So when my third child stated he had "a miserable childhood" I was crushed in a way I can not put in words. His older brother and sister never came close to saying something like that. And in every way they embraced life, had fun, achieved, and were quite social as teens. My youngest child is considerably younger than his brother and sister. And there is another major factor. He is on the autism spectrum. When he announced his trans identity almost 7 years ago my life fell apart. It is impossible to put in words how this affects a mothers sense of self worth. I have never had lower self esteem in my life. I am such a failure that I couldn't even have my kid born the correct sex! Or give him even a decent childhood. It was miserable. After many years of support (from other parents in my boat), counseling, and prayer I can at least intellectually stop blaming myself. I can now at least logically see that my son alone is responsible for the path he is choosing to take. But the sense of self loathing still occasionally visits me. I'm doing my best to rise above. But boy, its tough. Gender ideology destroys the psyche of the true believers. But it goes way beyond to ruin the sense of peace and self respect of those who love the "trans" person. It destroys a lot.
7 years is a long time, I am so sorry, but I am glad you have stopped blaming yourself, not that that can take the pain away. I await a day of reckoning for all of us. For society to wake up to what has happened to a generation of vulnerable young people.
Were you a "perfect" parent (family)?.....of course not, because there is no such thing! But you were a perfectly decent/loving parent (family)to your children. They ALL seem to use this "miserable childhood" excuse to blame their parent/s. It's the cruelty and seething hatred that matters to them. NONE of them are happy in any way....even when they are among "others" like them. Some days, the thought of my "horrible parenting" crushes me (usually when other people/parents use the trans name and activist speak), but I have developed coping mechanisms to get me to a better place. Am I sad?....sure. Am I angry......sometimes. But not every day/every hour like I used to be. Stay strong and stay true.
Another PITT essay that made me cry. I tried so hard to make up for things in my childhood that fell short, at least as I perceived them. I was determined to have that close, joy filled relationship with my 3 kids that my mother couldn't quite achieve. I worked very hard to give my kids a happy, fun, stimulating childhood. So when my third child stated he had "a miserable childhood" I was crushed in a way I can not put in words. His older brother and sister never came close to saying something like that. And in every way they embraced life, had fun, achieved, and were quite social as teens. My youngest child is considerably younger than his brother and sister. And there is another major factor. He is on the autism spectrum. When he announced his trans identity almost 7 years ago my life fell apart. It is impossible to put in words how this affects a mothers sense of self worth. I have never had lower self esteem in my life. I am such a failure that I couldn't even have my kid born the correct sex! Or give him even a decent childhood. It was miserable. After many years of support (from other parents in my boat), counseling, and prayer I can at least intellectually stop blaming myself. I can now at least logically see that my son alone is responsible for the path he is choosing to take. But the sense of self loathing still occasionally visits me. I'm doing my best to rise above. But boy, its tough. Gender ideology destroys the psyche of the true believers. But it goes way beyond to ruin the sense of peace and self respect of those who love the "trans" person. It destroys a lot.
7 years is a long time, I am so sorry, but I am glad you have stopped blaming yourself, not that that can take the pain away. I await a day of reckoning for all of us. For society to wake up to what has happened to a generation of vulnerable young people.
Were you a "perfect" parent (family)?.....of course not, because there is no such thing! But you were a perfectly decent/loving parent (family)to your children. They ALL seem to use this "miserable childhood" excuse to blame their parent/s. It's the cruelty and seething hatred that matters to them. NONE of them are happy in any way....even when they are among "others" like them. Some days, the thought of my "horrible parenting" crushes me (usually when other people/parents use the trans name and activist speak), but I have developed coping mechanisms to get me to a better place. Am I sad?....sure. Am I angry......sometimes. But not every day/every hour like I used to be. Stay strong and stay true.