The things we do for love.. it’s truly heartbreaking watching the train coming straight at them and knowing there is absolutely nothing we can do to stop it. With each holiday with every birthday, another event that is.. without. Christmas cards left in the box, photos not taken or not sent.
I gift my grandchildren an ornament for Christmas each year, I begin searching for the perfect ornament for each of them early and I base it on their interests and likes. I have done this since their birth and hoped it would give them a start for their own tree one day. Each ornament has their name, the year, and love from….. I envisioned them carefully placing each ornament on their tree one day and smiling at the memories of Christmas and this gift from their grandmother. All of that may still happen, one can hope. But this year’s ornament did not have her name just the year and love from. I took her name off for fear she would simply throw it away. I do so want to believe she will come to her senses but with each passing day it seems less likely. She is deep in the rabbit hole now.
We were surprised and thrilled to receive a thanksgiving text from her and even more delighted to get a yes reply to our Christmas gathering invite. I promised myself I simply wouldn’t call her anything since I can’t call her by her given name and I refuse to call her by her new name of choice. I slipped a couple of times with she and her pronouns but all in all it was a lovely evening.
The tears still roll when I’m alone for the life she could have, and how much I just miss my baby girl even at 20. These past 3 years have been rough, but God. His strength is carrying me through this, as we continue to love her while keeping one foot firmly planted in reality hoping she will grab the lifeline of TRUTH. .
Hang on parents and grandparents, we have to hope that this too shall pass, without more harm coming to more children.
Since they think AI-enhanced photos are so awesome, I'd have sent one depicting your daughter as a normal female. If she complained...."Truth in advertising, sweetheart!"
The dog is going to be front and center on our card this year. She is very comfortable with her gender assigned at birth as she grins with her head well out the window on a lovely fall day. On the back of the card, I plan to put small, ever so blurry photos of our three kids, with my son conveniently holding the dog, which obscures the gasp-worthy breasts, compliments of estrogen. Yes, I planned that pic, just for this year’s card.
I’ve done the same with my oldest son. He and the dog are connected at the hip so it makes for an easy pic when he picks her up. She’s not a small dog either so it’s funny (not really) that this strong young man with long hair and estrogen enhanced chest can lift her with ease to smile for the camera. It works though and I get a great pic of me, our sweet pup, and my TWO SONS. That’s the real gift- to see the genuine smile that has nothing to do with the facade he wishes to create. It’s just “us” again, even if it’s for a little while.
My friends, this week I have studied Revelation 21. Verse 4 gives me much comfort. We may suffer much affliction in This life but the best is yet to come in the next. “And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away”. Put your trust in him whose birth we celebrate this time of year. This is what I am trying to do. I believe that Christ is the healer and will heal all family relationships if not in this life, then in the life to come.
Christmas cards used to be a notification of how well our families were doing in our own hearts and minds. What a betrayal of everything we were doing content with. It was never wrong to be proud of our families and it’s not wrong to mourn the loss.
My daughters are spending Christmas together away from us. This is our first one without them. It is a punishment for our transphobic ways. I didn’t bother with cards this year. I made cookies to send to extended family, part of our tradition. I am hollowed out at this point. Holidays are the worst and Christmas the worst of the worst.
So timely that you wrote this as I have been struggling with our yearly tradition of sending out cards this year. Since our son dropped the bomb on us in August that he has always been a woman and is now transitioning, that is not the update I wanted to include in this year’s card. I told my husband that we could just do a card with a picture of us since our children are all adults now. Then a few days later I just told him I didn’t have it in me to send out cards this year. I am sad to say that the cards that have been coming in the mail are piling up still unopened. Like you, I can’t bring myself to look at all the smiling happy families.
I sure hope your daughter will desist before next Christmas. Hopefully, next year will be a better Christmas for all of us.
At least you still receive cards to pile up! Since my daughter started her trans journey 2 years ago, we hardly get any Christmas cards anymore. I managed to send them to my regular list, but without photos. I used boxed cards and wrote brief notes inside some, but no family updates. It's a pity because my husband and I traveled a lot this year and our other daughter had many good accomplishments. But the "trans" one dropped out of college and estranged from us. No one wants to hear about these things. What's hard is how little people care about us now, as we go through the most difficult times of our lives! Their lack of caring shows clearly with no cards, but also no phone calls or other forms of communication throughout the year. We, the grieving parents, have essentially become Lepers! Lack of support at the holidays is the worst feeling ever.
I totally understand. You are right about so much. People don’t want to know or they don’t ask because they don’t know what to say. They can’t help fix it and they feel helpless. People hate feeling helpless.
I feel like I would have sent out a card of you, your husband and your daughter who accomplished alot this year. If they want to be with their "rainbow family" fine, but maybe seeing the picture of the card without them may hit a nerve and have them start thinking if all the lies are worth it. I just think that your other kids should not have to be unacknowledged and for the trans one just sign the name you gave them or leave it out.
Thank you. I'll consider this next year. I'm thinking of sending out a New Year's letter with some photos of the 3 of us and the year's highlights- mainly to people we're closer with who might still care a bit.
Exact same story. Ours started in July. I took the photo at thanksgiving but haven’t even gone on the website to order. Hubby finally bought a box of generic cards to give to his employees.
Your story is indeed sad, and I hope that it will have a happy ending sooner rather than later. I feel your pain and sense of loss which is so unfair. I loved sending a picture of my daughter and me every year (I was a single mom) that was professionally taken at the mall, to put in our annual Christmas card along with a detailed letter of everything we had done all year. I knew that my friends and distant relatives enjoyed watching her grow-up and reading about of lives. Often, we would have matching or coordinated outfits. Now I receive her yearly Christmas card and photo (professionally taken) of her family. It brings me such joy. I hate that this trans-ideology has robbed you of this joy. It is indeed not your fault! I don't want you to say anything to anyone in case she desists and changes her mind. Not everyone understands this evil cult and the last thing you need is to feel judged. We are all here for you on this sub stack and rooting for you, your daughter and your family to return to the normalcy it once knew. Best wishes.
I'm glad that I stopped Christmas cards a couple of years ago. I just wasn't able , no time, I barely had time to bake the Christmas cookies, a must thing I've always done with my son. He told us last December that he is now our daughter. He is now 18. This year has been dreadful, I feel no joy, wrapping the presents is just mechanical, I pretend. Last year we took the usual photo on Christmas eve to send on WhatsApp to family and friends. My son with his long hair looked very much like a girl and I guess people speculate about his being perhaps gay. I can't tell people. It makes me cry .This year I 'll just send a photo of the dog in front of the Christmas tree. So I need't pretend to be happy.
Early on in our families turmoil with a sudden onset 'transgender' daughter professed on a marxist college campus, I would collect images of the bizarre posturing and euphemisms of the newly minted 'boys' or 'men' that were being created to propel an industry. Girls (young women really) would denote their social media with a dripping syringe and the date in which they began their transitions. Girls would conquer the men's room by posting images of themselves with a foot on the urinal showing their triumph. Girls would announce the destruction of their breasts at the hands of medical professionals with posts on their great reveal, the point at which the drainage tubes would be removed and the scarred and bruised and decimated chest would be exposed for the first time. The crass words they would use for what was just done to their bodies I won't repeat now. These are the words and images of the transgender cult. They are far removed from the meaning of Christmas.
The hoodies, mansplaining, etc in our home never happened as this cult had not yet trickled down to younger generation so widely. Trust me that many of us tried to stop it and I am sorry to see so many even 12 year olds now caught up in this evil. For me, it was a perfect time to forego the small image I would typically include inside our cards. Now a handful of family receive only a traditional card depicting the meaning of Christmas. Our daughter over the years received small gifts (she was estranged) and a note on a well researched charity of choice where I chose to send a donation.
I would send the donation to organizations that are helping the kids who have been disfigured, buthered and telling the truth about the trans factory turning out ruined children. Funny how they all hate capitalism yet the cult they're in is only allowed to do this because of the money that each medical transition brings in for the lifetime of the victim.
"Next year, things need to be different, meaning that I need to face up to the fact that this is our life now." This sounds like you think you lost the battle. Correct me if I am wrong, but it sounds like your daughter is still a minor living under your roof. She may well be done with this crap in a year, lots of kids desist. Stay strong and keep fighting for her! Don't feel defeated, don't give up, don't accept this as" your life now". If possible, try not to dwell on the moments you missed and pictures you cannot take. Most of our lives don't follow a straight trajectory, few families accumulate 18+ years of smiling holiday pictures that depict actual reality. I would even suggest , if at all possible, taking a family photo now as is, to document this difficult stage of your family life. (No need to send it as a holiday card of course). Best of luck! Don't give up!
Merry Christmas! We have always loved sharing and receiving everyone’s reflections and photos of the year that is closing behind us. This year is no different, but probably needs some clarification. As you can see, our happy, confident, ‘light up the room’ smiling daughter Christina is missing. We miss her terribly. “Leo” lives here now and most everyone and every institution we have trusted tells us that we really should be celebrating our child finding their true self! We’re trying to, but gosh, it has been an adjustment to say the least! As you can see, “Leo” is adjusting as well. A picture is worth a thousand words, right?
This really sums up our year, as gender ideology sadly consumes our every waking moment. Celebrating? Not so much.
Thank you for your eloquent picture of the totalizing malignancy of ROGD, which poisons even the most innocent pleasures of family life. I'm obviously one of many who relate to this; that feeling by itself is helpful.
Have a happy Christmas anyway
The things we do for love.. it’s truly heartbreaking watching the train coming straight at them and knowing there is absolutely nothing we can do to stop it. With each holiday with every birthday, another event that is.. without. Christmas cards left in the box, photos not taken or not sent.
I gift my grandchildren an ornament for Christmas each year, I begin searching for the perfect ornament for each of them early and I base it on their interests and likes. I have done this since their birth and hoped it would give them a start for their own tree one day. Each ornament has their name, the year, and love from….. I envisioned them carefully placing each ornament on their tree one day and smiling at the memories of Christmas and this gift from their grandmother. All of that may still happen, one can hope. But this year’s ornament did not have her name just the year and love from. I took her name off for fear she would simply throw it away. I do so want to believe she will come to her senses but with each passing day it seems less likely. She is deep in the rabbit hole now.
We were surprised and thrilled to receive a thanksgiving text from her and even more delighted to get a yes reply to our Christmas gathering invite. I promised myself I simply wouldn’t call her anything since I can’t call her by her given name and I refuse to call her by her new name of choice. I slipped a couple of times with she and her pronouns but all in all it was a lovely evening.
The tears still roll when I’m alone for the life she could have, and how much I just miss my baby girl even at 20. These past 3 years have been rough, but God. His strength is carrying me through this, as we continue to love her while keeping one foot firmly planted in reality hoping she will grab the lifeline of TRUTH. .
Hang on parents and grandparents, we have to hope that this too shall pass, without more harm coming to more children.
Since they think AI-enhanced photos are so awesome, I'd have sent one depicting your daughter as a normal female. If she complained...."Truth in advertising, sweetheart!"
I rarely send out Christmas cards but did so this year. It’s a wonderful tradition worth keeping alive.
The dog is going to be front and center on our card this year. She is very comfortable with her gender assigned at birth as she grins with her head well out the window on a lovely fall day. On the back of the card, I plan to put small, ever so blurry photos of our three kids, with my son conveniently holding the dog, which obscures the gasp-worthy breasts, compliments of estrogen. Yes, I planned that pic, just for this year’s card.
I’ve done the same with my oldest son. He and the dog are connected at the hip so it makes for an easy pic when he picks her up. She’s not a small dog either so it’s funny (not really) that this strong young man with long hair and estrogen enhanced chest can lift her with ease to smile for the camera. It works though and I get a great pic of me, our sweet pup, and my TWO SONS. That’s the real gift- to see the genuine smile that has nothing to do with the facade he wishes to create. It’s just “us” again, even if it’s for a little while.
Very clever.
My friends, this week I have studied Revelation 21. Verse 4 gives me much comfort. We may suffer much affliction in This life but the best is yet to come in the next. “And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away”. Put your trust in him whose birth we celebrate this time of year. This is what I am trying to do. I believe that Christ is the healer and will heal all family relationships if not in this life, then in the life to come.
Christmas cards used to be a notification of how well our families were doing in our own hearts and minds. What a betrayal of everything we were doing content with. It was never wrong to be proud of our families and it’s not wrong to mourn the loss.
My daughters are spending Christmas together away from us. This is our first one without them. It is a punishment for our transphobic ways. I didn’t bother with cards this year. I made cookies to send to extended family, part of our tradition. I am hollowed out at this point. Holidays are the worst and Christmas the worst of the worst.
Oh my goodness
Peace to you ❤️
My heart hurts for you, Julie.
So timely that you wrote this as I have been struggling with our yearly tradition of sending out cards this year. Since our son dropped the bomb on us in August that he has always been a woman and is now transitioning, that is not the update I wanted to include in this year’s card. I told my husband that we could just do a card with a picture of us since our children are all adults now. Then a few days later I just told him I didn’t have it in me to send out cards this year. I am sad to say that the cards that have been coming in the mail are piling up still unopened. Like you, I can’t bring myself to look at all the smiling happy families.
I sure hope your daughter will desist before next Christmas. Hopefully, next year will be a better Christmas for all of us.
At least you still receive cards to pile up! Since my daughter started her trans journey 2 years ago, we hardly get any Christmas cards anymore. I managed to send them to my regular list, but without photos. I used boxed cards and wrote brief notes inside some, but no family updates. It's a pity because my husband and I traveled a lot this year and our other daughter had many good accomplishments. But the "trans" one dropped out of college and estranged from us. No one wants to hear about these things. What's hard is how little people care about us now, as we go through the most difficult times of our lives! Their lack of caring shows clearly with no cards, but also no phone calls or other forms of communication throughout the year. We, the grieving parents, have essentially become Lepers! Lack of support at the holidays is the worst feeling ever.
I totally understand. You are right about so much. People don’t want to know or they don’t ask because they don’t know what to say. They can’t help fix it and they feel helpless. People hate feeling helpless.
I feel like I would have sent out a card of you, your husband and your daughter who accomplished alot this year. If they want to be with their "rainbow family" fine, but maybe seeing the picture of the card without them may hit a nerve and have them start thinking if all the lies are worth it. I just think that your other kids should not have to be unacknowledged and for the trans one just sign the name you gave them or leave it out.
Thank you. I'll consider this next year. I'm thinking of sending out a New Year's letter with some photos of the 3 of us and the year's highlights- mainly to people we're closer with who might still care a bit.
Save those cards. Maybe some day you will feel like opening them.
Exact same story. Ours started in July. I took the photo at thanksgiving but haven’t even gone on the website to order. Hubby finally bought a box of generic cards to give to his employees.
I’m so sorry, Susan. The grief is still so new that much of the time, we are just going through the motions.
Your story is indeed sad, and I hope that it will have a happy ending sooner rather than later. I feel your pain and sense of loss which is so unfair. I loved sending a picture of my daughter and me every year (I was a single mom) that was professionally taken at the mall, to put in our annual Christmas card along with a detailed letter of everything we had done all year. I knew that my friends and distant relatives enjoyed watching her grow-up and reading about of lives. Often, we would have matching or coordinated outfits. Now I receive her yearly Christmas card and photo (professionally taken) of her family. It brings me such joy. I hate that this trans-ideology has robbed you of this joy. It is indeed not your fault! I don't want you to say anything to anyone in case she desists and changes her mind. Not everyone understands this evil cult and the last thing you need is to feel judged. We are all here for you on this sub stack and rooting for you, your daughter and your family to return to the normalcy it once knew. Best wishes.
I'm glad that I stopped Christmas cards a couple of years ago. I just wasn't able , no time, I barely had time to bake the Christmas cookies, a must thing I've always done with my son. He told us last December that he is now our daughter. He is now 18. This year has been dreadful, I feel no joy, wrapping the presents is just mechanical, I pretend. Last year we took the usual photo on Christmas eve to send on WhatsApp to family and friends. My son with his long hair looked very much like a girl and I guess people speculate about his being perhaps gay. I can't tell people. It makes me cry .This year I 'll just send a photo of the dog in front of the Christmas tree. So I need't pretend to be happy.
❤️
❤️
Early on in our families turmoil with a sudden onset 'transgender' daughter professed on a marxist college campus, I would collect images of the bizarre posturing and euphemisms of the newly minted 'boys' or 'men' that were being created to propel an industry. Girls (young women really) would denote their social media with a dripping syringe and the date in which they began their transitions. Girls would conquer the men's room by posting images of themselves with a foot on the urinal showing their triumph. Girls would announce the destruction of their breasts at the hands of medical professionals with posts on their great reveal, the point at which the drainage tubes would be removed and the scarred and bruised and decimated chest would be exposed for the first time. The crass words they would use for what was just done to their bodies I won't repeat now. These are the words and images of the transgender cult. They are far removed from the meaning of Christmas.
The hoodies, mansplaining, etc in our home never happened as this cult had not yet trickled down to younger generation so widely. Trust me that many of us tried to stop it and I am sorry to see so many even 12 year olds now caught up in this evil. For me, it was a perfect time to forego the small image I would typically include inside our cards. Now a handful of family receive only a traditional card depicting the meaning of Christmas. Our daughter over the years received small gifts (she was estranged) and a note on a well researched charity of choice where I chose to send a donation.
Stay the course of truth and Merry Christmas!
I would send the donation to organizations that are helping the kids who have been disfigured, buthered and telling the truth about the trans factory turning out ruined children. Funny how they all hate capitalism yet the cult they're in is only allowed to do this because of the money that each medical transition brings in for the lifetime of the victim.
"Mama, don't let your babies grow up to be college grads...." (with apologies to Waylon Jennings and Willie Nelson)
Honestly, Willie and Waylon would agree.
"Next year, things need to be different, meaning that I need to face up to the fact that this is our life now." This sounds like you think you lost the battle. Correct me if I am wrong, but it sounds like your daughter is still a minor living under your roof. She may well be done with this crap in a year, lots of kids desist. Stay strong and keep fighting for her! Don't feel defeated, don't give up, don't accept this as" your life now". If possible, try not to dwell on the moments you missed and pictures you cannot take. Most of our lives don't follow a straight trajectory, few families accumulate 18+ years of smiling holiday pictures that depict actual reality. I would even suggest , if at all possible, taking a family photo now as is, to document this difficult stage of your family life. (No need to send it as a holiday card of course). Best of luck! Don't give up!
How about this?:
Dear family and friends,
Merry Christmas! We have always loved sharing and receiving everyone’s reflections and photos of the year that is closing behind us. This year is no different, but probably needs some clarification. As you can see, our happy, confident, ‘light up the room’ smiling daughter Christina is missing. We miss her terribly. “Leo” lives here now and most everyone and every institution we have trusted tells us that we really should be celebrating our child finding their true self! We’re trying to, but gosh, it has been an adjustment to say the least! As you can see, “Leo” is adjusting as well. A picture is worth a thousand words, right?
This really sums up our year, as gender ideology sadly consumes our every waking moment. Celebrating? Not so much.
Happy new year,
The Smiths
🎯
Oh my, if only we could send this to all those affirming parents in our circle, with a recent picture showing how 'happy and well' they are adjusting.
Thank you for your eloquent picture of the totalizing malignancy of ROGD, which poisons even the most innocent pleasures of family life. I'm obviously one of many who relate to this; that feeling by itself is helpful.
I deeply understand what you bravely share, my broken heart is with you, God bless you....