On January 22 the New York Times published “When Student Change Gender Identity, and Parents Don’t Know,” at last acknowledging that secret gender transitions were happing in schools. It featured a 16-year-old teen with autism whose parent discovered the teen had socially transitioned at school and accepted the high schooler’s sudden trans identification, to a point. At the time of publication, the Bradford teen continued to persist in a transgender identification. The article dared to report what many parents of ROGD kids have known: our kids often have psychological issues, and many of us skeptical parents are liberals. It even alluded to the danger of schools socially transitioning distressed youth. It did not, however, delve into whether schools who facilitate secret gender transitions actually cause the identify to persist longer or how in the world school staff are qualified to implement such apowerful intervention.
Yes, but listening doesn't mean automatically agreeing. If a boy says he's Batman, do you automatically affirm him as being Batman? Is he just having fun pretending to be Batman? Does he wish he was Batman because he's being bullied and he'd like to be a superhero? Or does he genuinely believe he is Batman?
I realize it's a little more complex with the issue of gender dysphoria, but rather than immediately affirming a child or adolescent as "being born in the wrong body," the adults need to dig deeper. For a young person, sometimes it's just a matter of feeling listened to. Well, these days everyone stops their grinnin' and drops their linen the instant anyone peeps out the word "trans." Maybe it's the first time some of these kids have felt anyone is listening to them so they keep on with the ruse, eventually believing the hype themselves.
A young person may be struggling to come to terms with their sexual orientation in a world that by and large remains homophobic. Or they may simply not be interested in performing prescriptive sex roles. Immediately affirming a kid as "trans" doesn't help them "become their authentic self" any more than grafting scales onto someone who believes themself to be a fish actually turns them into a fish. Trans is an oversimplified solution for complex problems that run much deeper than indivudual expression. I'd say it's like putting a band-aid on a gushing wound, except it's more like putting an orange peel on a gushing wound. At least a band-aid is in the right realm of treatment even if it's too small to handle the job.
"Trans" is not the right treatment for unhappy, confused adolescents who might be suffering from bullying, might be struggling with their sexual orientation, or might be on the autism spectrum. I'd go one step further and say that "trans" is the wrong treatment for most people. I say most because there are some people who transitioned as adults who seem to be happy with the choice to do so.
Why is something that was once a vanishingly rare phenomenon now a common occurrence? Hardly anyone in a position to do something that would make a real difference seems to be asking this question.
Thank you for posting. I wish schools would invite people like your son to speak at school conferences. Not to sway anyone, but to allow him to simply share his experience. Much like a war veteran invited to speak at a school assembly. His life might be a beacon for others.
Thank you for sharing. It does sound a lot like waiting for an alcoholic, drug addict, adulterous spouse, run-away teen to fall back into that trap. Your post shows there are many, many people who do not have any idea what the transgender issue is about. Experiences shared on PITT gives us a unique resource to help educate. Thanks to you all.
You were extremely lucky. I phoned the school and cancelled the new name. They had no problem. But my child had cut the connection to the family afterwards.
It is fascinating to see how many commenters think that it is easy to find a school that doesn't affirm. We are living in an affirmation jungle over here. The private schools are just as bad--so you can pay lots of money to have your kid indoctrinated! Higher ed is bad, too. The "Get a new school" recommendation is naive, and I am pleasantly surprised at the results the author got in her son's school. I would love to send my kid to THAT school. I know I will get well-meaning homeschool recommendations now...sigh. Yes, I am looking into that, too, but finding it is more difficult to do that at the high school level. I wish I could just send my kid to school for a good old-fashioned education.
You can do o line school through Hillsdale. You can homeschool with any of the million curriculums out there. HSLDA can help you figure out what is best for you. They will also help you figure out what you need to do to get it done. Your child's well being is most important.
Online school was part of the pandemic era and proved problematic--kids need socialization, especially teens. In my research, homeschooling high schoolers seems to be the most difficult. It appears that homeschooling is most common among religious moms, and they network around their religions. I have no judgement for them doing that, but it is not a fit for us. I don't want to replace the religion of gender with a different religion. I just want my kid to get a decent education without indoctrination. Reading, writing, 'rithmetic--and definitely science!
Yes, it was "problematic" because at the same time, they were stuck in their houses. Homeschoolers aren't locked down and deprived of socialization. That is an incorrect stereotype. Likely pushed purposely so that parents won't take the government cash cows from them...their children who give each district up to 15k a piece just for sitting in a seat on count day.
Many parents of homeschoolers are religious. And? I'm not even a little bit religious and we do just fine. I don't understand that point....just don't be religious..?
There's many opportunities for socializing outside of a government school, which is a whole lot of negative socialization. HS kids are in extracurricular activities (in many states, you're able to put them in the local school's sports teams) like sports, clubs, music classes, etc, etc.
Research shows that on average, HS kids routinely participate in eight social activities outside of the home. They can easily since they have more time. What gov schools do in 6 hours, HS kids do in 2-3. They also graduate ahead of time. They often take college classes during their "high school." They also have a much broader range of socialization. They're out living life, not sequestered in rooms where they're not even allowed to talk to one another while they wait for the prison bell that ushers them to the next room. They're also able to socialize with people of different ages. Nowhere in life are people grouped by age, as they are in gov schools.
Research facts on homeschooling show that they're doing well, typically above average, on measures of social, emotional, and psychological development. Research measures include peer interaction, self-concept, leadership skills, family cohesion, participation in community service, and self-esteem. 87% of peer-reviewed studies on social, emotional, and psychological development show HS kids perform statistically significantly better than those in conventional schools.
As for them getting an actual education, that is why HS is the best option. Look at the national report card of public schools. Only about a third of students are proficient in reading when they graduate. The numbers for other subjects are just as horrendous. 12% are proficient in American History. 78% of peer-reviewed studies on academic achievement show homeschool students perform statistically significantly better than those in institutional schools.
HS kids typically score 15 to 30 percentile points above gov school students on standardized academic achievement tests. (The public school average is the 50th percentile). They score better regardless of their parents’ level of formal education, their family’s household income, or their teaching credentials. Or lack of.
They typically score above average on the SAT and ACT tests that colleges consider for admissions and they typically go to college with more college credits. They're also actively recruited by colleges. The high achievement level of HS kids is readily recognized by recruiters from some of the best colleges in the nation. Schools such as Massachusetts Institute of Technology, Harvard, MIT, Caltech, Stanford, Cornell, Dartmouth, Yale, Penn State, Princeton, Perdue, Vassar, and Duke University all actively recruit them. And so do basically all of the rest. The following is a quote taken from Jon Reider, a Stanford University admissions officer, “Homeschoolers bring certain skills – motivation, curiosity, the capacity to be responsible for their education – that high schools don’t induce very well."
It is hard to find schools that understand the complexity and are willing to honor parent insight on their child. We had our elementary kids at a private Catholic Montessori school that we loved. However, some of the teachers started introducing gender identity to the kids and bringing in graphic novels that included these concepts starting in the 4th-6th grade group. Our very curious child of course read them. That was how I knew it was starting. I reached out to the teacher to share up to date concerns and revised European guidelines with her (I'm a pediatrician who has been closely following the studies and am very aware of the lack of evidence and risks of social and medical transition)
She didnt believe me. I followed up with principal who also didnt understand my concerns and felt staff had to support gender ideology due to concerns for suicide risk.in affected children. There were at least 3 kids expressing gender dysphoria at that time. So we left the school and found a Catholic school with a clear gender policy where they only use children's biological sex pronouns and given names at school. But in our search for a new school, most Cathiloc schools.had no clear policy, so you have to really ask before making the move.
This is reminiscent of when my son's 5th grade teacher insisted that he needed to be put on Ritalin and I refused to do so. My son's "bad behavior" included things like jiggling his leg while sitting down and bad handwriting. I tried to talk to the principal, but he backed the teacher and said if I didn't get my son medicated, he would not be welcome back at the school. I said fine, I don't want my son going to this school anymore.
The difference is I was easily able to find a school that didn't insist on medicating a kid who really had nothing wrong with him. My son does have ADHD, but he's never been a discipline problem. I later found out that his 5th grade teacher would punish him for his "bad behavior" by keeping him in from recess, and by the time she deigned to allow him to go to lunch, there would be no food left. I think she really was a sadist who disliked my son because she deemed me to be "low class." I was working as a waitress and bartender at the time.
Yeah, most schools are doing this, SEL, or some sort of indoctrination of Neo-Marxist views. Sad when you can't even trust Catholic schools. That is why homeschool really is the best answer. You know exactly what your child is learning.
you have hit on and described something huge here. My daughter has taken her trans flag down and speaks ill of the whole thing, but still insists that she is trans. Still goes by the new name with friends, school, etc. I believe it is because of the deep embarrassment you speak of. Damn these “allies.”
I would really like to. My mom said the same thing. Said daughter is 14. I would have to uproot her 16 year old sister right before senior year. Also, I’m a musician and my whole livelihood revolves around local contacts. She already changed schools for 9th grade but that staff got all in it. Maybe in a year. We all need a change of scene for sure.
16 year old can stay with her grandmother or other relatives or your friends for a year. You don't have to uproot her. But the younger needs the help right now. Especially if she can accept the idea to go back to her lost identity at the new school. You are so lucky to see the signs of desistance. Most of us hier can only dream and hope for the future.
You are right. We have a potential escape hatch here and should take it. Mom and Dad are 84 and I also have guilt about leaving them. I should probably suck it up though. Maybe they could leave with me. Colorado ain’t what it used to be.
I'm happy for you. The path was difficult, but you walked it together. Unfortunately for my son, we never did find out from his high school (which secretly affirmed & never told us parents a word about it). In college he dove in the deep end and then quickly dropped out and fled home (within a matter of months).
I have deep rage against the authority figures that led my kid into this nightmare.
What is so INFURIATING about this whole thing is that the school has the kid for 4 years. The family had the child before that, and then will continue, one way or another, for many years after the school. The damage done to the child by the school has life-long consequences for the family, but the schools go on blithely damaging and destroying new cohorts of children.
I have such a similar story - with my now-desisted daughter. I wrote to her head of school at the beginning of this year, explaining my daughter's situation (an ROGD kid whose mental health issues were not related to gender, that we were not abusive parents who did not accept our child, that our her mental health had progressively worsened when gender was a main focus, etc, etc.). We asked that her given name and pronouns be used by teachers. And we asked that teachers stop asking for children's pronouns upon introduction, because this is asking them to label themselves in front of their peers on the very first day of class, putting socially anxious and vulnerable teens on the spot to choose an identity.
To my surprise, the head of school replied with a resounding yes. She said the school's policy is to let the parents do the parenting - the school's job is to provide education. They CHANGED SCHOOL POLICY to prohibit teachers from asking for pronoun IDs in class introductions (children may still request other names and pronouns independently, but parent requests can override this). I literally cried tears of relief.
My child's school is a small regional charter, focused on life skills and early college opportunities. There are no sports, and they don't allow religious or political clubs - only academic or purely recreational activities. So they were already sort of set up to maintain a relative neutrality on this issue. Still, after all the horror stories I have read, I was shocked at such a positive and respectful response. I've since had similar conversations and correspondences with a summer camp director, a teen performing arts organization, youth group directors, and parents of children my daughter spends time with. Occasionally I've been met with anger and rejection. But I've found that many people, when they hear our story and realize we aren't hateful LGBT-bashers, but are in fact loving, conscientious, and deeply concerned parents of troubled children, a thread of common sense often begins to link us.
Sterilization that leads to Suicide are now “Health Care”
Funny how this “Life Saving” and “Gender Affirming” becomes Life-Altering and ends up in so many suicides... even after all the drugs, medications, and surgeries have been done ...and paid for!
Physical and psychological well-being should be a grave concern, given that 42 percent of transgender people will attempt suicide at some point in their lives, and people who have had “sex reassignment surgery” are approximately 20 times more likely than the general population to die by suicide, and have a much better than normal chance of committing suicide, both before and after the chemical or surgical castration.
The damage being done by the Left’s war on gender is also having a devastating effect on “transgender” individuals. A recent study published by the American Academy of Pediatrics found alarmingly high rates of attempted suicide among teens suffering from the so-called “gender dysphoria”.
The most comprehensive study ever conducted on suicide by those attempting to transform their gender was a 30-year Swedish study that concluded those doing so were 20 times more likely to commit suicide and 2.8 times more likely to be hospitalized for a psychiatric illness. It should be noted that Sweden is one of the most “trans-friendly” cultures in the world, making these numbers even more alarming.
Fully half of all adolescents who are born female but instead, “self-identify” as male will attempt suicide. The rate of attempted suicide among those born male but “self-identifying” as female was 30%. And over 40% of adolescents who “identify” as gender nonconforming that is neither male nor female attempted suicide.
Leftists have passed Laws to legally prevent people from getting the help they most desperately NEED, even if they themselves desperately WANT it! They ban the ability of individuals to receive counseling or therapy to avoid unwanted feelings of same-sex attraction. Anyone rendering assistance is in violation of that Law. Leftists could not care less about the 42% suicide rate!
“There are other studies, all ignored by the ‘gender changing’ advocates. Studies from Sweden, Denmark and also a 2013 study showing 90% of transgenders have mental disorders consisting of depression and anxiety–known causes of suicide. These studies provide irrefutable evidence transgenders overwhelmingly suffer from untreated mental disorders. Gender surgery is not the required treatment for depression and anxiety or other transgender mental disorders.
“The Swedish study concludes: ‘Persons with transsexualism, after sex reassignment, have considerably higher risks for mortality, suicidal behavior.’
“The Dutch study results state in 270 (75%) of these 359 patients, cross-gender identification was interpreted as an epiphenomenon of other psychiatric illnesses, notably personality, mood, dissociative, and psychotic disorders. Major mood disorders, dissociative disorders and psychotic disorders reported in 79% of transgenders.” This should be alarming.
“The 2013 study results suggest there is a need for practitioners to focus on interventions in helping transgenders with coping skills (adaption in the world) in order to improve mental health for transgender individuals.
“But if the professionals who treat transgenders remain unwilling to ‘come out’ about the mental disorders nothing will change in their diagnosis or treatment. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. They’ve got the insanity going on.”
Lost in all this outrage-generating, ‘politically correct’ insanity is that actual people are suffering from our collective trip down the gender-identity rabbit hole. Sex/gender is not “assigned” at birth; it is determined by the DNA of the newly created life at conception. And if every cell in a person’s body carries the XY chromosome, then that person is male, period, and indulging the fiction that a male can become a female, or vice versa, is an exceedingly cruel and harmful.
Transgenders (those suffering from the so-called ‘gender dysphoria’) have a suicide-attempt rate of more than 40% over their lifetimes (even post-surgery), as compared to less than 5% for the general population. Treating their disorder as being ‘normal’, and even worthy of celebration, is making the problem worse.
Those suffering from ‘gender dysphoria’ should be treated kindly and aided in getting the mental health treatment they need so that their minds are not constantly at war with their bodies. To do otherwise — is to value an ideology more than life.
Congratulations! Have you asked your son if he feels he would be happier homeschooling or transferring to a private school, assuming there are good ones in your area? My greatest regret with my daughter is not transferring her out of her small, private school full of bullies to a larger one where she could make more friends and not be the focus of so much hatred. (Public school wasn't an option because she was bullied almost to death there.) She's doing well in college now, but when I see how well my son is doing at his wonderful high school, I really wish she could have had that experience.
"we need to listen to our students….”
Yes, but listening doesn't mean automatically agreeing. If a boy says he's Batman, do you automatically affirm him as being Batman? Is he just having fun pretending to be Batman? Does he wish he was Batman because he's being bullied and he'd like to be a superhero? Or does he genuinely believe he is Batman?
I realize it's a little more complex with the issue of gender dysphoria, but rather than immediately affirming a child or adolescent as "being born in the wrong body," the adults need to dig deeper. For a young person, sometimes it's just a matter of feeling listened to. Well, these days everyone stops their grinnin' and drops their linen the instant anyone peeps out the word "trans." Maybe it's the first time some of these kids have felt anyone is listening to them so they keep on with the ruse, eventually believing the hype themselves.
A young person may be struggling to come to terms with their sexual orientation in a world that by and large remains homophobic. Or they may simply not be interested in performing prescriptive sex roles. Immediately affirming a kid as "trans" doesn't help them "become their authentic self" any more than grafting scales onto someone who believes themself to be a fish actually turns them into a fish. Trans is an oversimplified solution for complex problems that run much deeper than indivudual expression. I'd say it's like putting a band-aid on a gushing wound, except it's more like putting an orange peel on a gushing wound. At least a band-aid is in the right realm of treatment even if it's too small to handle the job.
"Trans" is not the right treatment for unhappy, confused adolescents who might be suffering from bullying, might be struggling with their sexual orientation, or might be on the autism spectrum. I'd go one step further and say that "trans" is the wrong treatment for most people. I say most because there are some people who transitioned as adults who seem to be happy with the choice to do so.
Why is something that was once a vanishingly rare phenomenon now a common occurrence? Hardly anyone in a position to do something that would make a real difference seems to be asking this question.
When it's your children being educated, parents need a definite yea or nay!
Thank you for posting. I wish schools would invite people like your son to speak at school conferences. Not to sway anyone, but to allow him to simply share his experience. Much like a war veteran invited to speak at a school assembly. His life might be a beacon for others.
Thank you for sharing. It does sound a lot like waiting for an alcoholic, drug addict, adulterous spouse, run-away teen to fall back into that trap. Your post shows there are many, many people who do not have any idea what the transgender issue is about. Experiences shared on PITT gives us a unique resource to help educate. Thanks to you all.
So glad your story had a happy and positive ending - it gives the rest of us hope. Thank you for sharing.
You were extremely lucky. I phoned the school and cancelled the new name. They had no problem. But my child had cut the connection to the family afterwards.
It is fascinating to see how many commenters think that it is easy to find a school that doesn't affirm. We are living in an affirmation jungle over here. The private schools are just as bad--so you can pay lots of money to have your kid indoctrinated! Higher ed is bad, too. The "Get a new school" recommendation is naive, and I am pleasantly surprised at the results the author got in her son's school. I would love to send my kid to THAT school. I know I will get well-meaning homeschool recommendations now...sigh. Yes, I am looking into that, too, but finding it is more difficult to do that at the high school level. I wish I could just send my kid to school for a good old-fashioned education.
You can do o line school through Hillsdale. You can homeschool with any of the million curriculums out there. HSLDA can help you figure out what is best for you. They will also help you figure out what you need to do to get it done. Your child's well being is most important.
Online school was part of the pandemic era and proved problematic--kids need socialization, especially teens. In my research, homeschooling high schoolers seems to be the most difficult. It appears that homeschooling is most common among religious moms, and they network around their religions. I have no judgement for them doing that, but it is not a fit for us. I don't want to replace the religion of gender with a different religion. I just want my kid to get a decent education without indoctrination. Reading, writing, 'rithmetic--and definitely science!
Yes, it was "problematic" because at the same time, they were stuck in their houses. Homeschoolers aren't locked down and deprived of socialization. That is an incorrect stereotype. Likely pushed purposely so that parents won't take the government cash cows from them...their children who give each district up to 15k a piece just for sitting in a seat on count day.
Many parents of homeschoolers are religious. And? I'm not even a little bit religious and we do just fine. I don't understand that point....just don't be religious..?
There's many opportunities for socializing outside of a government school, which is a whole lot of negative socialization. HS kids are in extracurricular activities (in many states, you're able to put them in the local school's sports teams) like sports, clubs, music classes, etc, etc.
Research shows that on average, HS kids routinely participate in eight social activities outside of the home. They can easily since they have more time. What gov schools do in 6 hours, HS kids do in 2-3. They also graduate ahead of time. They often take college classes during their "high school." They also have a much broader range of socialization. They're out living life, not sequestered in rooms where they're not even allowed to talk to one another while they wait for the prison bell that ushers them to the next room. They're also able to socialize with people of different ages. Nowhere in life are people grouped by age, as they are in gov schools.
Research facts on homeschooling show that they're doing well, typically above average, on measures of social, emotional, and psychological development. Research measures include peer interaction, self-concept, leadership skills, family cohesion, participation in community service, and self-esteem. 87% of peer-reviewed studies on social, emotional, and psychological development show HS kids perform statistically significantly better than those in conventional schools.
As for them getting an actual education, that is why HS is the best option. Look at the national report card of public schools. Only about a third of students are proficient in reading when they graduate. The numbers for other subjects are just as horrendous. 12% are proficient in American History. 78% of peer-reviewed studies on academic achievement show homeschool students perform statistically significantly better than those in institutional schools.
HS kids typically score 15 to 30 percentile points above gov school students on standardized academic achievement tests. (The public school average is the 50th percentile). They score better regardless of their parents’ level of formal education, their family’s household income, or their teaching credentials. Or lack of.
They typically score above average on the SAT and ACT tests that colleges consider for admissions and they typically go to college with more college credits. They're also actively recruited by colleges. The high achievement level of HS kids is readily recognized by recruiters from some of the best colleges in the nation. Schools such as Massachusetts Institute of Technology, Harvard, MIT, Caltech, Stanford, Cornell, Dartmouth, Yale, Penn State, Princeton, Perdue, Vassar, and Duke University all actively recruit them. And so do basically all of the rest. The following is a quote taken from Jon Reider, a Stanford University admissions officer, “Homeschoolers bring certain skills – motivation, curiosity, the capacity to be responsible for their education – that high schools don’t induce very well."
It is hard to find schools that understand the complexity and are willing to honor parent insight on their child. We had our elementary kids at a private Catholic Montessori school that we loved. However, some of the teachers started introducing gender identity to the kids and bringing in graphic novels that included these concepts starting in the 4th-6th grade group. Our very curious child of course read them. That was how I knew it was starting. I reached out to the teacher to share up to date concerns and revised European guidelines with her (I'm a pediatrician who has been closely following the studies and am very aware of the lack of evidence and risks of social and medical transition)
She didnt believe me. I followed up with principal who also didnt understand my concerns and felt staff had to support gender ideology due to concerns for suicide risk.in affected children. There were at least 3 kids expressing gender dysphoria at that time. So we left the school and found a Catholic school with a clear gender policy where they only use children's biological sex pronouns and given names at school. But in our search for a new school, most Cathiloc schools.had no clear policy, so you have to really ask before making the move.
This is reminiscent of when my son's 5th grade teacher insisted that he needed to be put on Ritalin and I refused to do so. My son's "bad behavior" included things like jiggling his leg while sitting down and bad handwriting. I tried to talk to the principal, but he backed the teacher and said if I didn't get my son medicated, he would not be welcome back at the school. I said fine, I don't want my son going to this school anymore.
The difference is I was easily able to find a school that didn't insist on medicating a kid who really had nothing wrong with him. My son does have ADHD, but he's never been a discipline problem. I later found out that his 5th grade teacher would punish him for his "bad behavior" by keeping him in from recess, and by the time she deigned to allow him to go to lunch, there would be no food left. I think she really was a sadist who disliked my son because she deemed me to be "low class." I was working as a waitress and bartender at the time.
Yeah, most schools are doing this, SEL, or some sort of indoctrination of Neo-Marxist views. Sad when you can't even trust Catholic schools. That is why homeschool really is the best answer. You know exactly what your child is learning.
you have hit on and described something huge here. My daughter has taken her trans flag down and speaks ill of the whole thing, but still insists that she is trans. Still goes by the new name with friends, school, etc. I believe it is because of the deep embarrassment you speak of. Damn these “allies.”
Can you move away?
I would really like to. My mom said the same thing. Said daughter is 14. I would have to uproot her 16 year old sister right before senior year. Also, I’m a musician and my whole livelihood revolves around local contacts. She already changed schools for 9th grade but that staff got all in it. Maybe in a year. We all need a change of scene for sure.
16 year old can stay with her grandmother or other relatives or your friends for a year. You don't have to uproot her. But the younger needs the help right now. Especially if she can accept the idea to go back to her lost identity at the new school. You are so lucky to see the signs of desistance. Most of us hier can only dream and hope for the future.
You are right. We have a potential escape hatch here and should take it. Mom and Dad are 84 and I also have guilt about leaving them. I should probably suck it up though. Maybe they could leave with me. Colorado ain’t what it used to be.
You should do absolutely whatever you need to to help your child. She is the #1 priority. It may be hard, but that is life. Save her.
agreed
How about the idea of the "year abroad" for the child?
i am a single mom with no money, but yeah a girl can dream
I'm happy for you. The path was difficult, but you walked it together. Unfortunately for my son, we never did find out from his high school (which secretly affirmed & never told us parents a word about it). In college he dove in the deep end and then quickly dropped out and fled home (within a matter of months).
I have deep rage against the authority figures that led my kid into this nightmare.
I would too. Time for a class action law suit.
What is so INFURIATING about this whole thing is that the school has the kid for 4 years. The family had the child before that, and then will continue, one way or another, for many years after the school. The damage done to the child by the school has life-long consequences for the family, but the schools go on blithely damaging and destroying new cohorts of children.
I have such a similar story - with my now-desisted daughter. I wrote to her head of school at the beginning of this year, explaining my daughter's situation (an ROGD kid whose mental health issues were not related to gender, that we were not abusive parents who did not accept our child, that our her mental health had progressively worsened when gender was a main focus, etc, etc.). We asked that her given name and pronouns be used by teachers. And we asked that teachers stop asking for children's pronouns upon introduction, because this is asking them to label themselves in front of their peers on the very first day of class, putting socially anxious and vulnerable teens on the spot to choose an identity.
To my surprise, the head of school replied with a resounding yes. She said the school's policy is to let the parents do the parenting - the school's job is to provide education. They CHANGED SCHOOL POLICY to prohibit teachers from asking for pronoun IDs in class introductions (children may still request other names and pronouns independently, but parent requests can override this). I literally cried tears of relief.
My child's school is a small regional charter, focused on life skills and early college opportunities. There are no sports, and they don't allow religious or political clubs - only academic or purely recreational activities. So they were already sort of set up to maintain a relative neutrality on this issue. Still, after all the horror stories I have read, I was shocked at such a positive and respectful response. I've since had similar conversations and correspondences with a summer camp director, a teen performing arts organization, youth group directors, and parents of children my daughter spends time with. Occasionally I've been met with anger and rejection. But I've found that many people, when they hear our story and realize we aren't hateful LGBT-bashers, but are in fact loving, conscientious, and deeply concerned parents of troubled children, a thread of common sense often begins to link us.
TRANSGENDER SUICIDE
Sterilization that leads to Suicide are now “Health Care”
Funny how this “Life Saving” and “Gender Affirming” becomes Life-Altering and ends up in so many suicides... even after all the drugs, medications, and surgeries have been done ...and paid for!
Physical and psychological well-being should be a grave concern, given that 42 percent of transgender people will attempt suicide at some point in their lives, and people who have had “sex reassignment surgery” are approximately 20 times more likely than the general population to die by suicide, and have a much better than normal chance of committing suicide, both before and after the chemical or surgical castration.
http://dailysignal.com/2017/10/30/ugly-truth-sex-reassignment-transgender-lobby-doesnt-want-know
The damage being done by the Left’s war on gender is also having a devastating effect on “transgender” individuals. A recent study published by the American Academy of Pediatrics found alarmingly high rates of attempted suicide among teens suffering from the so-called “gender dysphoria”.
The most comprehensive study ever conducted on suicide by those attempting to transform their gender was a 30-year Swedish study that concluded those doing so were 20 times more likely to commit suicide and 2.8 times more likely to be hospitalized for a psychiatric illness. It should be noted that Sweden is one of the most “trans-friendly” cultures in the world, making these numbers even more alarming.
Fully half of all adolescents who are born female but instead, “self-identify” as male will attempt suicide. The rate of attempted suicide among those born male but “self-identifying” as female was 30%. And over 40% of adolescents who “identify” as gender nonconforming that is neither male nor female attempted suicide.
Leftists have passed Laws to legally prevent people from getting the help they most desperately NEED, even if they themselves desperately WANT it! They ban the ability of individuals to receive counseling or therapy to avoid unwanted feelings of same-sex attraction. Anyone rendering assistance is in violation of that Law. Leftists could not care less about the 42% suicide rate!
“There are other studies, all ignored by the ‘gender changing’ advocates. Studies from Sweden, Denmark and also a 2013 study showing 90% of transgenders have mental disorders consisting of depression and anxiety–known causes of suicide. These studies provide irrefutable evidence transgenders overwhelmingly suffer from untreated mental disorders. Gender surgery is not the required treatment for depression and anxiety or other transgender mental disorders.
“The Swedish study concludes: ‘Persons with transsexualism, after sex reassignment, have considerably higher risks for mortality, suicidal behavior.’
“The Dutch study results state in 270 (75%) of these 359 patients, cross-gender identification was interpreted as an epiphenomenon of other psychiatric illnesses, notably personality, mood, dissociative, and psychotic disorders. Major mood disorders, dissociative disorders and psychotic disorders reported in 79% of transgenders.” This should be alarming.
“The 2013 study results suggest there is a need for practitioners to focus on interventions in helping transgenders with coping skills (adaption in the world) in order to improve mental health for transgender individuals.
“But if the professionals who treat transgenders remain unwilling to ‘come out’ about the mental disorders nothing will change in their diagnosis or treatment. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. They’ve got the insanity going on.”
Lost in all this outrage-generating, ‘politically correct’ insanity is that actual people are suffering from our collective trip down the gender-identity rabbit hole. Sex/gender is not “assigned” at birth; it is determined by the DNA of the newly created life at conception. And if every cell in a person’s body carries the XY chromosome, then that person is male, period, and indulging the fiction that a male can become a female, or vice versa, is an exceedingly cruel and harmful.
Transgenders (those suffering from the so-called ‘gender dysphoria’) have a suicide-attempt rate of more than 40% over their lifetimes (even post-surgery), as compared to less than 5% for the general population. Treating their disorder as being ‘normal’, and even worthy of celebration, is making the problem worse.
Those suffering from ‘gender dysphoria’ should be treated kindly and aided in getting the mental health treatment they need so that their minds are not constantly at war with their bodies. To do otherwise — is to value an ideology more than life.
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Leftist parents
Autism or other mental problems
Corrupt school administrators and teachers
Corrupt psychologists and medical doctors
Social media addiction
Obsession with anime
Control these conditions, and the trans cult would soon fade away.
I just hope it will become uncool quickly since institutions are pushing it so hard. It's the opposite of counter culture.
Brilliant piece of writing. This needs very widespread publication.
This is an amazing and well written story. This should be in the NYTimes.
I have never understood the rush to trans children. I am appalled actually at schools in North America.
Congratulations! Have you asked your son if he feels he would be happier homeschooling or transferring to a private school, assuming there are good ones in your area? My greatest regret with my daughter is not transferring her out of her small, private school full of bullies to a larger one where she could make more friends and not be the focus of so much hatred. (Public school wasn't an option because she was bullied almost to death there.) She's doing well in college now, but when I see how well my son is doing at his wonderful high school, I really wish she could have had that experience.
Prayers for your son!