Recently on a Saturday morning, I was at a newly opened health food store near my home doing my weekly shopping for fruits and vegetables. I spotted a couple and just stared. The young woman was petite and in her early twenties with purple and blue streaks in her pigtailed light brown hair, her nose and eyebrow were pierced, she sported several arm and chest tattoos and was dressed in a bright yellow shirt and multi-colored leggings and sandals. The person with her was clearly a man pretending to be a woman: a transwoman. He was also in his early to mid-twenties and stood over 6-feet tall, was quite thin, with clean dark shoulder length curled hair, and oval shaped silver framed eyeglasses. I noticed he had a hint of grey eye shadow, a little mascara, a light line of eyeliner, some cheek blusher, and a soft shade of pinkish lipstick. His face was smooth and I could not detect any facial stubble. He was handsome in an odd way. He was dressed in black capri pants, flat black pumps (his large feet seemed oddly comfortable in them), a black tank top could be seen under a grey V-neck tee, and he was clearly wearing a bra to support small breasts. He had a small black purse that was strapped across his chest and back and rested at his side.
Not entirely sure if I've met a trans-identifying person, it's really hard to tell what is "real," and what is supportive or performative. (At my local Jewel, an employee was wearing a name badge that had space for pronouns.Which I ignore, as I only care about person's *name* as if I'm ordering something special, and I may have to follow up.) As long as someone is just shopping I have zero problem— or interest anyone, unless there's a really cute baby in the cart.
People I have paid attention to are" men with face tattoos, as putting tattoos on your face does mean you want them to be noticed, but then, I am also *not* supposed to notice them. Last mont there was a very publicly, vocally, angry man who wandered the store for 7 minutes, complaining 'NO ONE HERE will help me." Everyone just studiously avoided him until he left.
"Is it possible to show kindness and empathy towards any trans-identifying person without affirming them?" Yes it is, and you've answered your own question, you are polite to everyone. And good for you for examining *your* own reactions, and not just fixating on his/hers/theirs.
Trans*Activists* thought clearly want to be noticed, want to challenge, want to be disruptive. I just feel so sorry for people who's job requires that they come in contact with these folks and are supposed to magically "know" how they're supposed to address them. At least I as a fellow shopper, have the luxury of ignoring them, as they deserve even less of my time.
That young man's description could have been my son. I hope people aren't unkind to him. He is a victim of this vicious cult too. My boy was sweet, intelligent and sensitive his entire childhood and into his teens. When I started to divorce his father, he was alienated against me and my entire family.
After years of emotional abuse by his father he was a sitting duck for these predators during the pandemic. You're right. It's hard to not feel hatred toward any zealous advocates of Trans Ideology. As I tr to hold myself together through this I'll continue to see these people as victims. This is hell on earth.
During the cult movements of the 1970s and later, we called it “love bombing” that could cause a person to do a 180 on their core beliefs in a short amount of time. My eldest, now 54, planned to trans to pretend guy. She started this journey when groomed by lesbians in a halfway house, who convinced her she was a lesbian. One day, during my visit with her as she recovered from addictions, she said to me, “Dad, I have always thought like a man.” To which I responded, “That’s interesting. I am a man and I’m not sure how a man thinks.” Immediately she turned to me, and said, “I’m a woman!” She had been planning a double-mastectomy at that time. From love bombing, to lesbian, to completely confused recovering addict, who we hope, has finally settled on being a female.
Years ago, I lived in a community where many neighbors were members of a fundamentalist religious sect. When I encountered women from these groups, it was tempting to stare at their long hair and long, dowdy skirts. Most of us young women in that decade had short, spiky haircuts and wore cargo pants.
Through friendship and conversations with these women, I learned that they believed the Earth was “created” in six 24-hour days, a belief that, in my opinion, was delusional. And that was okay. As another commenter said below, in a democracy, there is room for people with different beliefs.
It can be unsettling and even painful to see people who appear to be trans-identified. It is a concrete reminder of our own fractured families, our children and family members who are estranged. That said, I think it's possible to be true to one's values while resisting the temptation to call people “evil” because of their beliefs. I hope that is the author’s point.
My trans-identified child is not “evil” – a little narcissistic and immature perhaps – but not evil. She is seeking a sense of belonging in a culture that has completely broken down, among a generation that has taken on borderline traits en masse. She is also rejecting notions of female perfection in a world where most boys have seen porn by age 10 and few women even have short haircuts anymore, because the norms for masculinity and femininity have become so extreme.
Rather than calling anyone “evil,” I think it’s important to focus on speaking out about the dangers of the ideology, which often worsens mental health, and especially the medicalization, which is doing permanent damage.
The clownish outward clothing and Strawberry Shortcake hairstyles are trivial, and in ten years’ time they will be a distant memory.
The leaders, influencers, medical and mental health personnel promoting this cult are evil, imo, while those hypnotized by it are not. Unfortunately, there are repercussions that are not so trivial.
I doubt the extremes of today are going to fade, if anything they're set to get worse as the nation and world simultaneously pull apart the old order to replace it with something new.
The problem comes in the wealth that's feeding that transformation. Instead of making people earn a living, they're being indulged with having their living standards buttressed up for free, or else their victims experience a protest with lots of screaming if they won't give them the freedom of having free stuff.
There's going to be a need of some starvation level learning at some future point for the freeloaders, or people are really going to see what a currency crisis feels like when nobody trusts their money to be valuable enough anymore to trade in.
This is an interesting post, I certainly do understand why you found the need to follow them around the store, let’s face it, they probably enjoyed it, (not dissimilar to dressed-up clowns at the circus I frequented as a child) they love the attention & relish the opportunity to “shock” others with not only freakish garb but also hair, nails, mannerisms etc. to attract attention. These “clowns” all have one thing in common (usually) they are all young, they are impressionable & follow all the social media hype regarding this gender cult nonsence, but I think at a gut level, they crave attention : LOOK AT ME, look at me, look at me........I enjoy throwing myself out there as my only way of shocking “normal, decent people”. They have a deep seated grudge against society, haven’t come to terms with their bodies, maybe have undiagnosed psyche issues & the trans/bi/queer train picks them up & now they part of a cult that hates western society. It seems to be happening in western countries only(open to correction) because in western countries indecency is now mainstream & accepted by Governments. In Nigeria, for instance, homosexuality in all its ugly forms, is against the law. This used to be the case in Western countries, look at what’s happening now. Immoral floodgates have opened.
So, the crux of where I’m going to is, when a freaky MTF or FTM or any other weirdly dressed/tattooed/purple haired “clown” approaches, just ignore. They hate being ignored, they CRAVE attention, I believe that’s at the core of their neediness.
I had a “trannie” a large fat & pimply young male with black long hair one side, shaved on the other, smile sweetly at me at the supermarket, I just flippantly thanked him with a bemused look on my face, because he looked so ridiculous, he looked like he’d stepped out of a musical audition for Peter Pan, but as an ugly stand-in. He knew it too, of course.
After reading many interesting replies, when it happens in real-time, my honest thoughts are “To Thine Own Self Be True”, which is what you did. So you followed them as your heart was breaking, you did what was right for you, then, but were they worth it? There is a certain fascination for “freaks” but the safer road to go down now that they have been allowed to infect society, simply ignore. It deflates their enormous egos leading them down the road to nowhere. Try to laugh at it too, see the humour in it & quietly laugh at their “circus seeking” get-ups, the freaky drag clothes in frightful colours, all intended to catch your eye & drag you into the slimy cult-dungeon where they are held captive.
Anyhow, it’s possibly reverse psychology at work here, these kids have made up their minds to follow the ringmasters in this sick circus, but in the audience are grieving parents watching their adult kids being charmed by the sick performance, do they cover their eyes & pray? Do they cheer & laugh at the sick performers waiting for them to return to their senses? Or, rather, get up from their seats & return home, firm in their serenity to accept the things they cannot change, courage to change the things they can & the wisdom to know the difference.
like with cats: What works best is to ignore (leave the room, stop paying ANY attention) behavior you do not want, and praise to the skies behavior you want to see more of. Works fine with people, too. Try it.
My intention was not to cause anyone discomfort rather, to voice my thoughts (isn’t what this forum is all about? Rhetorical) , I figured there could be negative fallout. I have not disclosed my own tragic life story, it’s over now, my oldest son is now just a memory. I have found my own way through the pain. I am at peace with my life now, I offer my apologies if I unintentionally offended anyone.)
Such an odd and contradictory article, but I too have mixed emotions about the gender ideology movement and its colorful army. I don't stare at people in public, because it's deeply embedded in my upbringing. I remember walking with my mother as a small child and starting to point at someone across the street from us. Mother gently took my hand and curled my finger back inside my palm, saying 'we don't do that'. I never pointed or stared at someone like that again.
I have interacted with several trans-identifying individuals, one of whom I see regularly. I despise what has been done to them by the groomers, the indoctrinators, and the cheerleaders who can't wait to affirm them in their confusion. I don't want to be one of them, but I am compassionate toward these people (mostly children and youth) whom I view as victims. What I have settled into is a compromise that I can live with and that I don't think will speed up what I think of as a runaway train. I use the name preferred by the trans individual, treating as just another nickname. I would do that for anyone. I treat them with care and compassion, but I avoid discussing the gender identity in public. Should this person wish to discuss their situation with me in private, I'm of course open to it. I avoid the use of pronouns when referring to them because I hate mangling the language. Rather than reward the behavior with attention, I encourage development of skills and personal strength in other dimensions. As much as possible, I ignore the matter and re-focus time and attention in healthy directions. I have been able to maintain a relationship with this person without turning myself into a pretzel or affirming what I think is inauthentic and manipulated behavior.
I'm not sure I understand this post. You apologize and reflect that you treated him badly simply because you stared at him?? He made you feel uncomfortable, what's wrong with that, that's totally normal & honest. Trust your instincts. I wish I never waivered at all when my son declared his trans identity to me 2 years ago. Alarm bells rang all over my body and still do to this day. He's harming himself. And also, I applaud you for being a decent human being with manners, that you recognized you may have appeared rude. But quite honestly, your nephew hung up on you because you asked questions? I'm assuming it is a little more than that and there is estrangement. Isn't that a little over the top, bad mannered and rude? I don't mean to attack your nephew, but it is making me see my own experience a little more clearly. My son was the sweetest, kindest person before his announcement and we had a great relationship. That was why it was so hard to accept the evil text messages, demands & irrational, uncompromising, one sided conversations. I spent months completely baffled in disbelief at the words he would send. I'm not sure that is who I want back in my life. Complete personality change. But where there is life there is hope.
No one is trying to make these confused into evil monsters. Many of us would like to be loving and help them to figure out why they feel uncomfortable in their own bodies. The evil monsters are the ones who swoop in and convince them to alter who they are and telling them that they will suddenly feel better. It's a lie and it's just evil. These kids have hearts to be sure. Hearts that may be broken by something else and we only exacerbate the problem by affirming drugs and surgeries. they are being hurt so much more by telling them it's all true.
I believe people are not rejecting the humanity of these confused youth. I believe people are angry that an outsider to the family makes their child believe that gender changing is even a possibility AND would be exactly what would make them happy. So we all have very down parts of our lives. so we all dislike the way this "movement" cult is taking over so many potentially great lives. No one is breeding hatred. That is the lie of the left.
Also, the loving thing to do would be to talk to these children. Find out what is really bothering them. Help them work thorough whatever that is. Affirming is wrong on so many levels.
It sounds to me by your posts you are not a parent of a "Trans" child. The advice you offer is to act as some kind of therapist. If uncaptured therapists were available to practice we wouldn't be in this mess.
Honestly, this is not a great post for PITT to have up. The author's behaviour is offensive and rude towards someone who is just leading their life, no matter how weird it is to you. Yes it is weird to me and I despise what my daughter is doing to her body. But our parents taught us when we were VERY young, not to stare at people who are different. You are just creepily inappropriate. Not a good look PITT.
Author explained how she felt, why she did what she did, and acknowledged at the end that person (apparently) took her action as confusion, not ill will, and responded with a disarming gesture of politeness. So both parties learned something.
The people who deserve all the ridicule and humiliation are the loud mouthed bullhorn activists and their equally enfeebled, sheep following enablers who want to convince pre-pubescents of their need to transition simply because they played with a barbie or tonka truck and it didn't fit the neo-con gender construct that was assigned to them based on their X's and Y's.
The real enemy is the Pusher, that trans cult equivalent of a drug pusher from the streets, except this one usually has a face that resembles someone who got endowed with either low T or E from their time in the womb.
the point of this essay is the 180 degree turn-around in the middle. ... but anyone who catches the whiff of offensive behavior at the opening & then doesn't read through until the end will miss this point. So, I somewhat agree, but taken as a whole this essay makes very good points.
I don’t agree with you on this. This person is distressed by what is happening in society and didn’t use a weapon just observed this phenomenon which is so confusing and discordant. She didn’t hurt these people she’s just trying to understand a very strange and unfamiliar episode in history. This is exactly the type if post PITT should put up.
I disagree. i think that laughing at these idiots is the correct response. A male pretending to be female is a comical sight. Laugh away!! Don't take them seriously. THEY WANT AND DEMAND OUR RESPECT. The best thing to do is to deny respect.
I have often wondered whether the kindest and fastest path out of this trap would be for boys who have taken this path this to be laughed at and humiliated whenever they show their face in public. Surely the make-up, nail polish, handbag, skirt and all the rest of it would be ditched there and then? I'm too polite and cautious to do it myself. But one of the reasons why I feel sorry for them is that they are making themselves look so weird and ridiculous.
It doesn't matter what I think of them. But almost every person they interact with when trying to get a job, secure a rental property, or work with people in any capacity will probably have some discomfort at this strange lifestyle choice, and may think that the person is mentally unstable and best avoided.
If this were real, I'd be all for kindness and understanding. But it's not, it's doing a lot of damage, and the only question in the mind of anyone who can see this should be, "how can we stop it as quickly as possible?"
The title of this essay is A Lesson to Learn - I think there is a lot for all of us to learn. Sounds like the author had a change of heart and was sad to see another person caught in the trans trap? Clearly she was thinking about her nephew. It seems like she learned a lesson and found compassion? Maybe? This is a tough time for everyone affected by this cult. I am not sure I wouldn’t have gawked a little out of curiosity as I have had very limited exposure to any transgender MTF or FTM. It is all very depressing and frightening because I have learned so much from PITT, the recent published PITT book, and from detransitioners stories on podcasts. I know this ideology is harming children and we could be left with a whole generation of sterile people - and for what purpose? I cannot believe this gender issue will continue forever - the pendulum must swing in our favor. I hope and pray.
Sure, take a look at them, but follow them around the supermarket? That is just weird, and exactly the sort of weird that our opponents will pounce upon.
It's not weird in the same way that it's not weird to be drawn to the scene of a terrible accident or a fight. The most you can say is that it is impolite to give in to the temptation. You must realise that for each person prepared to admit to it, maybe hundreds will do it.
The MTF in question might not know it, but they are a spectacle, a focus of fascination and (depending on how much exposure people have had to the negatives of this cult) perhaps horror.
The moral question (regarding politeness) is beside the point, in the same way that it is beside the point to question the morality of a cliff when people choose to walk off it.
Also, there is no moral equivalence between saying "you look ridiculous" and the act of sterilizing healthy teens or putting them on the path to it. I'm not saying that being rude is the solution. I'm only saying that if you or anyone is accused of being rude, you need to keep a sense of proportion and not imagine you've given the moral high ground to the other side.
I know two wrongs don’t make a right, but is following someone to observe them so very terrible? So what would be your advice or opinion of the OP finds her MTF standing at the sinks in the female restroom? Would it be rude to stare then? Would it be rude to challenge their presence? What about the day she wakes in the female ward and finds the MTF in the next bed? Would it be rude to shriek a bit?
I don’t think ‘our opponents’ have got much of a leg to stand on, to be frank. ‘Be Kind, be polite’ or make a place to stand, and defend it?
I occasionally see questions on here about "how can we convince the center-left to join our cause?" As a center-lefty, I have a couple thoughts:
It feels pretty contradictory to claim young trans people are imagining being discriminated against and mistreated, but then see nothing wrong with following one around in a store glaring even after he was kind to you! (I'm referring here to comments, not to the author). Or to even say they deserve to be harassed with personal questions in public. And saying they invite this by simply appearing trans and going about their necessary daily tasks in public, offends me-i have a large birthmark that draws questions. It's on my leg and can be covered with shorts but in the summer I sometimes want to get my groceries, without sweating my butt off, without being approached by strangers to ask if I had a failed tattoo removal. Would I be inviting questions by wearing shorts?
Regardless, acts toward any individual that are dehumanizing, as a rule, do not tend to encourage that individual to be a more pro-social actor. And as someone else said, aggression begets aggression. Rudeness yields rudeness. Arguing tends to make people dig their heels in deeper.
Finally, it seems a bit strange for the author to go from wondering if the individual she saw had been groomed or traumatized, to being rude to him even after he was friendly to her. And then to say "I learned all trans people aren't evil" with the implication obviously being that initially that trans person was considered evil. While it's certainly possible to be a victim and also guilty, it seems disingenuous to claim your child or other children are victims of a evil cult, but lump all the rest of the people with the same issues as you child into that evil cult. When do they go from innocent victim to evil?
I have been stared at for 50+ years. I have a visually obvious chronic arthritic condition that has caused me to look rather twisted and deformed. I stare back. Or laugh. Or make a face. Or all 3. When I used to walk around the mall for exercise, moms would grab their little kids by the shoulders and drag them WAY out of my path. Like, to avoid the monster. So, there's lots of rudeness to go around, and very little tolerance for anything even a little bit out of the ordinary. None of this is new. If you have any reason (voluntary or not) to present different than "normal," better grow some rhino hide. And a cynical sense of humor. Trans or not, NO ONE has the right to expect to be the exception, and NO ONE has the right to expect others to sympathize with or understand your particular issues. Trans people seem to want to re-write those rules. That will NOT work. Ever. Despite Margaret Mead and her delusional ilk, human nature, and the basic tenets of interactions in human society, are just NOT that easy to change. In any case, Reality ALWAYS wins. Because it's reality.
You can never get a lefty to leave the left in any fashion, because even if you convince them on a single point of issue, there's too many other things they agree with the Democrats on to ever give them up.
The really stupid thing though, is that the Democrats actually hold many rightwing positions within their election platform, but thanks to indoctrination by the progressives, they're taught to obey their instructions that those positions actually sit to the left on the spectrum. So they don't even realize they've been supporting a Libertarian far right view of the issue all along. And whenever I try and explain this mistake to them that they don't hold a leftwing view on a given subject, they feel so hurt they can't bring themselves to admit they might be wrong about something and lash out with insults, because they never aged to a maturity level that can hold a proper debate to examine their arguements weaknesses calmly.
The conservatives aren't well educated either because so many of their views fit within the leftwing draconian version of government too.
Uneducated mental slobs on both sides. Their petty insults make me want to insult them back but at least I'm smart enough to know why I do it.
They go from innocent victim to evil perpetrator when a male puts on lipstick and pretends to be a woman. In a play, it's fine. In the store, it is not. It is propaganda which seeks to convert other younger children to this evil delusion. And that means that it is evil. That this man is evil.
If he were a salesman of heroin, and doing so because he needed money for his own addiction, he would be evil. The trannies are evil in that they are grooming children to this evil delusion.
This is why I so dislike and castigate that piece of crap Ellen Page who appears in public nude to show her mastectomy scars. This is porn, and it is grooming other young women to do the same.
The trannies are both victims and victimizers. That they are victims DOES NOT EXCUSE THEIR GROOMING PERVERSION.
A man in lipstick in public is just a man in lipstick in public. A woman in pants in public. A woman with no lipstick in public. A man with earrings in public. A woman with no earrings in public. Any or all of these things may be a little weird to you or someone else, but all are totally victimless and morally neutral.
Sorry, but I'm this context, a person keeping to himself-or with his companion-in a public location-and not even one catering especially to children-and making no attempt to interact with others until after one has followed him around staring and is now standing behind him staring at the checkout asked doesn't move when another lane opens up just doesn't cut it as grooming to me. Grooming requires messaging. Implicit messaging. Existing in public where others may see you, simply isn't that. You dilute the meaning of a serious word as well as the true suffering of victims when you begin to stretch the definition of grooming like that. It also just doesn't meet the definition of perversion. The truth is the author had no way of knowing what, if any, "perversion" lurked behind the person's head because the author wasn't told. Some are autogynephiles or otherwise seeking sexual gratification, but it simply strains credulity to think that each member of this group is sexually motivated. Thus, "the trannies" as a group are not victimizers in the ways you describe. Not 100% of them. And therefore, it's just bad behavior to go around treating all of them as though they're evil. Not to mention the author assumed this man was trans which would make treating them all like shit even worse, because that's going to become a slippery slope toward every woman with hair shorter than her chin is treated like an "evil" "trannie."
A drug dealer actually gives someone else the tools of their own destruction. Not the same as someone who passively exists in public, not interacting with strangers.
When you make arguments that are so extreme as to be obvious ridiculous overgeneralization, it tarnishes your whole viewpoint. I consider myself more or less moderate on this issue and try to read all sides to stay informed without growing biased or incorrect. Trust me when I say that going overboard in your arguments is off-putting to those you need to win over in order to effect the change you want.
One more thing: given that the man in the store was followed for merely appearing in public, support of stories like this sort of plays right into the hands of advocates who exaggerate the level of hostility trans people face in public. It also looks bad to the viewing public who aren't informed and simply see a friendly-seeming trans person being followed by a strange person with a hateful look on their face. Again, it actually harms the cause.
It's incredibly sad to me how many parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc come here claiming to love their children fiercely and wanting to help them, but then become so angry and hostile-both internally as well as explicitly-towards trans-identified people in general. That attitude is only going to drive their children further from them, and complicate the matter by giving the children some real ammunition to cut off contact, run away and claim that their parents are hateful or emotionally abusive. I can understand how it happens that people become over-invested and ultimately their anger gets the best of them, but as parents it is in fact their job to handle their emotions so they don't cause their child to feel rejected or hurt. I do allow for the possibility that people come here to vent so they can present a neutral face to their family, but then posts like these make me question that. Frankly, I read some of the comments here and think "gender issues totally aside, their kid has a point when they said their parent emotionally injured them."
It saddens me that so many families are being ripped apart as various members become more and more polarized-and indeed push each other to become more extreme and entrenched in their views-over what is, at least at the start, a psychological issue causing someone suffering. An issue for which we have pitifully ineffective treatments. Dehumanizing people who are trying to do their best to make their way with what's available isn't going to solve anything.
Do you have a child that is trans? I do. Please don't pretend to know whether I love my child enough to meet your expectations of what that should look like. I would think that any mother would not want their child to purposefully mutilate themselves in order to live out some fantasy, but in this upside-down world people look to me as the monster. We don't encourage anorexia, self-soothing by cutting, suicide, etc. Why? Because they cause bodily harm. But chopping off your genitals is just fine?! The world has gone absolutely mad and I refuse to participate in the madness. Imagine thinking I'm emotionally injuring my child because I don't want him to chop off his penis. Truly bizarre. Truly.
That's not what I said. I was not referring to not wanting your child (or any) to have surgery, nor did I say that that would injure anyone. Actually I wasnt referring much to any feeling or behavior a parent may have toward their own child, I was actually talking more about their behavior towards the general trans public. I was specifically talking about behavior and attitudes that regard trans or very gender non-conforming individuals simply going about their daily lives in public as being okay or right to abuse, follow, stare or glare at and generally treat with aggression-and that a man-a stranger-is asking for and deserving of such attention simply by wearing "female" clothes in public.
I also don't presume to know how you feel. Or anyone. Actually, my point was that none of us know what another is feeling-and that includes one's child. They make interpretations and assumptions based on your words and actions, and it really doesn't matter to them how you feel inside if their impression is something very different. So, it concerns me that children-or anyone really-are going to see the behavior I described above and earlier in this thread, and make or become more entrenched in assumptions-accurate or erroneous-that their parents are hateful or hostile. And no, I don't have a trans child. But again, I wasn't really talking about the internal experience of parents. I was talking about what their children would make of their external presentation. And as an adult child, albeit not trans, I have had some direct experience in that area. My parents have been horrified at some of the impressions I had of them as a teen. But that was honestly the best understanding I was capable of forming based on their words and actions at the time.
Finally, I'm honestly not trying to attack you or any parent-i would hope that maybe someone might reconsider their actions in hopes of improving their relationship with and ability to best guide and protect their children. That is all.
It's not just that young man who is living a deluded life, it's his girlfriend too. They are just another heterosexual couple who have found a way to not feel "normal" or "unexceptional". I just hope they are using contraception because the last thing they need is the addition of a child into their unhealthy lives. NB only one of them has the ability to be a "gestator" and they don't get to choose which one of them gets to do this.
Precisely. I didn’t have a trusted adult to tell me that if I didn’t like femininity I could become a boy. I had a trusted feminist librarian at school who gave me books and said that it is society that needs to change.
I’m struggling with this post. If I had been in the store with this obvious MAN pretending to be a woman, I would have felt venum. He is a part of the group that stole my vulnerable son, who is visibly declining at 21 after two years of wrong sex hormones. The author writes “I am sure I made that young man feel very uncomfortable and maybe even a little self-conscious.” Along with greed in the industries profiting from destroying healthy bodies, toxic compassion is also fueling the trans cult. I wish women would stare at my over six feet tall son when he goes into a women’s bathroom in his ridiculous outfit and his disturbing hormone induced breasts. Maybe negative feedback could help wake up delusional people to face reality and get real help (though admittedly scarce, as my field (psychology) is infiltrated with providers doling out toxic compassion.
Maybe we should not normalize deluded people who may be influencing more young people to join this horrific body-mutilating, family destroying cult. If a man went shopping in his underwear, he would be told to leave, and if he objected and claimed he is a dog who doesn’t wear clothes, he would be escorted to the ER for a psychiatric evaluation. I don’t have a clear idea on how to respond to those immersed in the trans cult. Honestly, staring seems mild at this man who is misogyny in a dress and whose presence in public propagates this harmful social contagion.
“Maybe negative feedback could help wake up delusional people to face reality and get real help (though admittedly scarce, as my field (psychology) is infiltrated with providers doling out toxic compassion.”
I think this really depends on individuals’ personalities. Some people would dig in their heels harder.
A valid point. No matter what guidance my husband and I offered our son, he dug his heels in harder around his terrible trans cult path. That said, if society was less accommodating to people in this controlling, reality-denying trans cult, maybe there would be more desisters and less new recruits choosing the delusional destructive trans path and less people transing their children (child abuse)
Very good points! I agree with you 100%. I find myself enraged when reading the news or watching the news and all the affirmation crap. This is not healthy. California is flaunting their support and trying to divide more families. So sad. I am afraid for the future…
Straring at someone part of destroying lives and families is mild, and likely not to be videotaped. That. said, this post about how to react to a man's pathetic costume in a store reinforces the need to push back in more impactful ways than just staring for the trans cult to be dismantled and reality to prevail. Like voting for anyone who actually sees through the lies of the trans cult or encouraging law suits against the greedy or ignorant people destroying healthy bodies, which subverts people getting actual help while also supporting this horrific social contagion.
When you are living such a bold faced lie one should be prepared for some pushback and stares. The damage to children trying to process seeing that in public is unnecessary and we need to protect all children and women. We must stand for truth, men are men and women are women, anything else is disordered.
We all get triggered by people, but let's remember everyone here is from a generation where we dressed weird and acted weird and our elders didn't like it. You boomers pioneered the unisex look, remember? :) Gen X, we dragged homosexuality out of the closet and made it acceptable with horrible punk hairdoes and bad Toni perms and clown makeup (rather a lot like your kids today), as it should be since general estimates are that like 10-15% of any given population is likely gay, whether you know it or not. And Y & Z took the androgynous thing further and if they'd left it at cosplay they'd outgrow, and hadn't dragged the medical profession into it (or maybe the meds came a-calling and their progressive parents didn't say NO enough) and things really spiralled out of control.
Whether you approve of anything apart from Biblically-sanctioned practices or not is beside the point, but if you're really going to belabour it please include your defence of why Biblically-sanctioned slavery should be okay in the modern day, and vigilante justice for with stones for whores and heretics. Just sayin', if you're going to be anal about your fave holy book. But...if you're not that much of a radical, consider what Thich Nhat Hanh says: Treat everyone in front of you as though they're the most important person in the world. Yes, even the people you hate the most, including Andrew Tate, Nazis, MAGAs, womanfacers, whatever. Make no assumptions about them because you don't know how they got to where they are and you would be horrified to know how the worst of the worst of the worst of humanity wound up in no-parole maximum security prison. Even vicious killers and kiddie rapists have a history, and it may very well be worse than anything you've ever heard.
It's not easy to do and I don't do it very well either. But I aspire to be better. And I totally understand everyone's triggers because I still have them too, but you'll probably have fewer toxic interactions with people if you make a good-faith effort to be kind to everyone UNTIL they've been a jerk to you. As it turned out, the author's trigger did something nice for her. Who knows? Maybe he was being all Buddhist monk about her.
I'm working on getting along with people I can't stand, because guess what...not all right or left wingers are extremists and the rest of us silently agree more or less with each other about a lot and if we stick to the stuff we agree on we can fight our mutually agreeable battles better.
I'm a left-leaning progressive liberal but still far from woke and I don't care where you stand on guns, abortion, Jesus, Trump, or Biden(s).
Let's all figure out a way to stop this madness. *With compromise*. ;) I love you all anyway!
That's why I'm working to bring more of us together to put aside our differences and figure out what my side's doing better, what your side is, and maybe integrate them so they can work even better together.
I'm well aware of this. So my question to you is, how many slaves do you think *you're* using? And are your husband or sons whacking off to enslaved women on YouPorn every night? So they're not just *my* slaves, they're *your* slaves too, unless you're living in a cave, and I know you're not because they don't have Internet access. The computer or mobile you typed your response on was made by the same slaves that made mine. There are slaves in your town or county you look down on because they're 'filthy whores' as the Bible treats them, and those same Good Bible Men, like you, never asked *why* women prostituted themselves or wondered how they could help them support their families if they had no husband.
I wonder if the pastor of your church enlists the use of slaves when he's feeling horny? Maybe he gives them a tip to make himself feel better about it. Although I guess he doesn't need to pay a pimp for slaves if he's Catholic. He's already got a congregation full of sex toys.
Actually I'd bet Moses' slaves, and even Pharoaoh's, if the story about Jewish enslavement was actual history rather than an unsupported myth, were better than slavery today for reasons that would be slavesplaining to you now. It was just deeply weird that you took exception to my pointing out the Bible condoned slavery. The groups I made snarky comments about have earned their bad reputations even as I know "not all..." whatever. I wrote a Substack about slavery today in which I castigated the slavery-obsessed woke 'antiracists' for carrying on about an institution America and the rest of the western world officially banished 160+ years ago, and that parts of Africa have NEVER stopped the slave trade - and even Nigeria is only just now, dragging its feet going, 'yeah, we should probably put an end to this.' Lotta hypocrisy all around, and I think I also said that if 'antiracists' think it was so awful they can go to Africa to stop it, or stay here and stop the slave trade, and oh, by the way, how many black men are availing themselves of free porn, which is a $99B industry and, as always, is accessed primarily by men? Because, I pointed out - they're okay with slavery when it's wankable.
Glad you recognize we're all guilty, but I don't know how we extricate ourselves from it. Maybe Vladdie Putin will help us out with a nuclear war, and the survivors can figure out how to live without electronics once the EMP knocks them all out. Although, I expect slavery and rape will make a wildly popular comeback, so i'm hoping personally for annhilation myself. I expect i'll get it as Toronto would be a big target, the financial centre of Canada.
Interesting. I wasn't familiar with this but I love ancient history. "I have not raised my voice," and "I have not been angry," - well I guess everyone wound up in the maw of Amut although one has already testified that they haven't been angry *without just cause* ("Well, the asshole that just went before me cursed my cattle with disease and cast witchcraft to make my wife barren!" :) "I have not practiced witchcraft against the king," (no, but everyone else was fair game :) ) "I have not eaten the heart," must have been pretty easy for everyone if one didn't count animal hearts. Thanks for sharing this.
I wish I could agree with you, because clearly one thing we DO agree on is the evils of slavery. Yet it's existed for many thousands of years, in old times and places, in all cultures that weren't or aren't still hunter-gatherers. The globalists are the ones making money off slavery to feed *the markets*. And the demand for low-paid or no-paid labourers are everyone from the small business that hires illegals and pays them (or even non-illegals) under the table, and, in the case of porn, *the men who want and demand it*.
Men will ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS support slavery, however tacitly and in denial, until they learn that Penis doesn't not necessarily deserve what Penis wants. And I made that crack about your husband or son, Donna, to illustrate something you may prefer not to know or think about - that men in your house may be availing themselves of slavery-driven porn and you will never know it, unless you one day experience what British women call The Knock - when police come to your door and say your male household member has been arrested for an online law they've broken that they won't be entirely transparent about, but you later find out is accessing or downloading kiddie porn. Which they may or may not know are underage kids, or pretend they're not. There's been a crackdown on illegal porn by online payment processors but it's nowhere near close to what we need to eliminate it. YouPorn isn't the problem; the market is the problem, just as, with prostitution, the problem isn't women willing to whore themselves out (for whom it may be their ONLY way of making money, which fuzzifies whethr they're truly 'consenting') but *the men who want to pay women for sex*, often for sex acts their wives consider disgusting and refuse to perform.
As for my anti-Christianity, you can blame all those who 'identify' as Christians but clearly aren't. I lived for over forty years in the US before I moved to Canada and I spent twenty of them fighting people like you. I can tell by your comments you likely 'identify' as Christian too, but I could be wrong. I can't stand fundamentalist Christianity for the same reason I can't stand the 'wokes' - you're both dangerous, mind-sapping authoritarian cults. They're separate from the *real* Christians, the *real* conservatives, the *real* liberals, the *real* progressives.
You *have* read the Bible, right? You talk like a Christian so I assume you consider yourself one. So I'm assuming you *do* understand that you can't be both a Christian and a Trump supporter, right? I've read the Bible too, stem to stern (well, I skimmed the begats and the micromanaging of the Temple construction).
I feel this. My son thinks he is MTF. He has presented as female since he was 16 and it has destroyed his life. I agree with you that this movement is evil. It is literally being used to indoctrinate kids and get them away from their families. The purpose of this indoctrination could be many things, but none of those purposes make it right. I disagree with transgender bot being a thing. It is. But, not to the level that this has been taken to. It’s not that God made a mistake. We did. We have changed our bodies so much that they don’t work right. I think there are people who are born with the mind of one sex and the body of another, but it’s just as rare as truly intersex people. And all the crap we put in our bodies is the cause.
I’m so glad you shared this story. I’m so glad that you shared with us what you learned. It’s definitely a valuable lesson for all of us and something to really think about. I send good vibes out to your nephew and hope he comes back to you. Good luck.
Not entirely sure if I've met a trans-identifying person, it's really hard to tell what is "real," and what is supportive or performative. (At my local Jewel, an employee was wearing a name badge that had space for pronouns.Which I ignore, as I only care about person's *name* as if I'm ordering something special, and I may have to follow up.) As long as someone is just shopping I have zero problem— or interest anyone, unless there's a really cute baby in the cart.
People I have paid attention to are" men with face tattoos, as putting tattoos on your face does mean you want them to be noticed, but then, I am also *not* supposed to notice them. Last mont there was a very publicly, vocally, angry man who wandered the store for 7 minutes, complaining 'NO ONE HERE will help me." Everyone just studiously avoided him until he left.
"Is it possible to show kindness and empathy towards any trans-identifying person without affirming them?" Yes it is, and you've answered your own question, you are polite to everyone. And good for you for examining *your* own reactions, and not just fixating on his/hers/theirs.
Trans*Activists* thought clearly want to be noticed, want to challenge, want to be disruptive. I just feel so sorry for people who's job requires that they come in contact with these folks and are supposed to magically "know" how they're supposed to address them. At least I as a fellow shopper, have the luxury of ignoring them, as they deserve even less of my time.
That young man's description could have been my son. I hope people aren't unkind to him. He is a victim of this vicious cult too. My boy was sweet, intelligent and sensitive his entire childhood and into his teens. When I started to divorce his father, he was alienated against me and my entire family.
After years of emotional abuse by his father he was a sitting duck for these predators during the pandemic. You're right. It's hard to not feel hatred toward any zealous advocates of Trans Ideology. As I tr to hold myself together through this I'll continue to see these people as victims. This is hell on earth.
During the cult movements of the 1970s and later, we called it “love bombing” that could cause a person to do a 180 on their core beliefs in a short amount of time. My eldest, now 54, planned to trans to pretend guy. She started this journey when groomed by lesbians in a halfway house, who convinced her she was a lesbian. One day, during my visit with her as she recovered from addictions, she said to me, “Dad, I have always thought like a man.” To which I responded, “That’s interesting. I am a man and I’m not sure how a man thinks.” Immediately she turned to me, and said, “I’m a woman!” She had been planning a double-mastectomy at that time. From love bombing, to lesbian, to completely confused recovering addict, who we hope, has finally settled on being a female.
Years ago, I lived in a community where many neighbors were members of a fundamentalist religious sect. When I encountered women from these groups, it was tempting to stare at their long hair and long, dowdy skirts. Most of us young women in that decade had short, spiky haircuts and wore cargo pants.
Through friendship and conversations with these women, I learned that they believed the Earth was “created” in six 24-hour days, a belief that, in my opinion, was delusional. And that was okay. As another commenter said below, in a democracy, there is room for people with different beliefs.
It can be unsettling and even painful to see people who appear to be trans-identified. It is a concrete reminder of our own fractured families, our children and family members who are estranged. That said, I think it's possible to be true to one's values while resisting the temptation to call people “evil” because of their beliefs. I hope that is the author’s point.
My trans-identified child is not “evil” – a little narcissistic and immature perhaps – but not evil. She is seeking a sense of belonging in a culture that has completely broken down, among a generation that has taken on borderline traits en masse. She is also rejecting notions of female perfection in a world where most boys have seen porn by age 10 and few women even have short haircuts anymore, because the norms for masculinity and femininity have become so extreme.
Rather than calling anyone “evil,” I think it’s important to focus on speaking out about the dangers of the ideology, which often worsens mental health, and especially the medicalization, which is doing permanent damage.
The clownish outward clothing and Strawberry Shortcake hairstyles are trivial, and in ten years’ time they will be a distant memory.
The leaders, influencers, medical and mental health personnel promoting this cult are evil, imo, while those hypnotized by it are not. Unfortunately, there are repercussions that are not so trivial.
I doubt the extremes of today are going to fade, if anything they're set to get worse as the nation and world simultaneously pull apart the old order to replace it with something new.
The problem comes in the wealth that's feeding that transformation. Instead of making people earn a living, they're being indulged with having their living standards buttressed up for free, or else their victims experience a protest with lots of screaming if they won't give them the freedom of having free stuff.
There's going to be a need of some starvation level learning at some future point for the freeloaders, or people are really going to see what a currency crisis feels like when nobody trusts their money to be valuable enough anymore to trade in.
Well put!!
This is an interesting post, I certainly do understand why you found the need to follow them around the store, let’s face it, they probably enjoyed it, (not dissimilar to dressed-up clowns at the circus I frequented as a child) they love the attention & relish the opportunity to “shock” others with not only freakish garb but also hair, nails, mannerisms etc. to attract attention. These “clowns” all have one thing in common (usually) they are all young, they are impressionable & follow all the social media hype regarding this gender cult nonsence, but I think at a gut level, they crave attention : LOOK AT ME, look at me, look at me........I enjoy throwing myself out there as my only way of shocking “normal, decent people”. They have a deep seated grudge against society, haven’t come to terms with their bodies, maybe have undiagnosed psyche issues & the trans/bi/queer train picks them up & now they part of a cult that hates western society. It seems to be happening in western countries only(open to correction) because in western countries indecency is now mainstream & accepted by Governments. In Nigeria, for instance, homosexuality in all its ugly forms, is against the law. This used to be the case in Western countries, look at what’s happening now. Immoral floodgates have opened.
So, the crux of where I’m going to is, when a freaky MTF or FTM or any other weirdly dressed/tattooed/purple haired “clown” approaches, just ignore. They hate being ignored, they CRAVE attention, I believe that’s at the core of their neediness.
I had a “trannie” a large fat & pimply young male with black long hair one side, shaved on the other, smile sweetly at me at the supermarket, I just flippantly thanked him with a bemused look on my face, because he looked so ridiculous, he looked like he’d stepped out of a musical audition for Peter Pan, but as an ugly stand-in. He knew it too, of course.
After reading many interesting replies, when it happens in real-time, my honest thoughts are “To Thine Own Self Be True”, which is what you did. So you followed them as your heart was breaking, you did what was right for you, then, but were they worth it? There is a certain fascination for “freaks” but the safer road to go down now that they have been allowed to infect society, simply ignore. It deflates their enormous egos leading them down the road to nowhere. Try to laugh at it too, see the humour in it & quietly laugh at their “circus seeking” get-ups, the freaky drag clothes in frightful colours, all intended to catch your eye & drag you into the slimy cult-dungeon where they are held captive.
Anyhow, it’s possibly reverse psychology at work here, these kids have made up their minds to follow the ringmasters in this sick circus, but in the audience are grieving parents watching their adult kids being charmed by the sick performance, do they cover their eyes & pray? Do they cheer & laugh at the sick performers waiting for them to return to their senses? Or, rather, get up from their seats & return home, firm in their serenity to accept the things they cannot change, courage to change the things they can & the wisdom to know the difference.
like with cats: What works best is to ignore (leave the room, stop paying ANY attention) behavior you do not want, and praise to the skies behavior you want to see more of. Works fine with people, too. Try it.
As a parent of a confused young man I find your post extremely hurtful and hope he's never humiliated like you suggest by anyone.
My intention was not to cause anyone discomfort rather, to voice my thoughts (isn’t what this forum is all about? Rhetorical) , I figured there could be negative fallout. I have not disclosed my own tragic life story, it’s over now, my oldest son is now just a memory. I have found my own way through the pain. I am at peace with my life now, I offer my apologies if I unintentionally offended anyone.)
Such an odd and contradictory article, but I too have mixed emotions about the gender ideology movement and its colorful army. I don't stare at people in public, because it's deeply embedded in my upbringing. I remember walking with my mother as a small child and starting to point at someone across the street from us. Mother gently took my hand and curled my finger back inside my palm, saying 'we don't do that'. I never pointed or stared at someone like that again.
I have interacted with several trans-identifying individuals, one of whom I see regularly. I despise what has been done to them by the groomers, the indoctrinators, and the cheerleaders who can't wait to affirm them in their confusion. I don't want to be one of them, but I am compassionate toward these people (mostly children and youth) whom I view as victims. What I have settled into is a compromise that I can live with and that I don't think will speed up what I think of as a runaway train. I use the name preferred by the trans individual, treating as just another nickname. I would do that for anyone. I treat them with care and compassion, but I avoid discussing the gender identity in public. Should this person wish to discuss their situation with me in private, I'm of course open to it. I avoid the use of pronouns when referring to them because I hate mangling the language. Rather than reward the behavior with attention, I encourage development of skills and personal strength in other dimensions. As much as possible, I ignore the matter and re-focus time and attention in healthy directions. I have been able to maintain a relationship with this person without turning myself into a pretzel or affirming what I think is inauthentic and manipulated behavior.
I'm not sure I understand this post. You apologize and reflect that you treated him badly simply because you stared at him?? He made you feel uncomfortable, what's wrong with that, that's totally normal & honest. Trust your instincts. I wish I never waivered at all when my son declared his trans identity to me 2 years ago. Alarm bells rang all over my body and still do to this day. He's harming himself. And also, I applaud you for being a decent human being with manners, that you recognized you may have appeared rude. But quite honestly, your nephew hung up on you because you asked questions? I'm assuming it is a little more than that and there is estrangement. Isn't that a little over the top, bad mannered and rude? I don't mean to attack your nephew, but it is making me see my own experience a little more clearly. My son was the sweetest, kindest person before his announcement and we had a great relationship. That was why it was so hard to accept the evil text messages, demands & irrational, uncompromising, one sided conversations. I spent months completely baffled in disbelief at the words he would send. I'm not sure that is who I want back in my life. Complete personality change. But where there is life there is hope.
I believe with all my being that our little boys are buried for safe keeping under the surface of these cries for acceptance and attention.
No one is trying to make these confused into evil monsters. Many of us would like to be loving and help them to figure out why they feel uncomfortable in their own bodies. The evil monsters are the ones who swoop in and convince them to alter who they are and telling them that they will suddenly feel better. It's a lie and it's just evil. These kids have hearts to be sure. Hearts that may be broken by something else and we only exacerbate the problem by affirming drugs and surgeries. they are being hurt so much more by telling them it's all true.
I believe people are not rejecting the humanity of these confused youth. I believe people are angry that an outsider to the family makes their child believe that gender changing is even a possibility AND would be exactly what would make them happy. So we all have very down parts of our lives. so we all dislike the way this "movement" cult is taking over so many potentially great lives. No one is breeding hatred. That is the lie of the left.
Also, the loving thing to do would be to talk to these children. Find out what is really bothering them. Help them work thorough whatever that is. Affirming is wrong on so many levels.
It sounds to me by your posts you are not a parent of a "Trans" child. The advice you offer is to act as some kind of therapist. If uncaptured therapists were available to practice we wouldn't be in this mess.
unfortunately I think some people, even those among PITT readers, are indeed indulging in rejecting the humanity of these confused youth.
Hatred breeds hatred breeds hatred. There is no good to be found in breeding hatred.
No one is breeding hatred, that is the lie of the left.
Yes, "telling them it's all true" is both deceitful and toxic compassion.
Honestly, this is not a great post for PITT to have up. The author's behaviour is offensive and rude towards someone who is just leading their life, no matter how weird it is to you. Yes it is weird to me and I despise what my daughter is doing to her body. But our parents taught us when we were VERY young, not to stare at people who are different. You are just creepily inappropriate. Not a good look PITT.
>You are just creepily inappropriate.
Author explained how she felt, why she did what she did, and acknowledged at the end that person (apparently) took her action as confusion, not ill will, and responded with a disarming gesture of politeness. So both parties learned something.
The people who deserve all the ridicule and humiliation are the loud mouthed bullhorn activists and their equally enfeebled, sheep following enablers who want to convince pre-pubescents of their need to transition simply because they played with a barbie or tonka truck and it didn't fit the neo-con gender construct that was assigned to them based on their X's and Y's.
The real enemy is the Pusher, that trans cult equivalent of a drug pusher from the streets, except this one usually has a face that resembles someone who got endowed with either low T or E from their time in the womb.
the point of this essay is the 180 degree turn-around in the middle. ... but anyone who catches the whiff of offensive behavior at the opening & then doesn't read through until the end will miss this point. So, I somewhat agree, but taken as a whole this essay makes very good points.
Again no one is breeding hatred. that is the lie of the left.
I don’t agree with you on this. This person is distressed by what is happening in society and didn’t use a weapon just observed this phenomenon which is so confusing and discordant. She didn’t hurt these people she’s just trying to understand a very strange and unfamiliar episode in history. This is exactly the type if post PITT should put up.
I disagree. i think that laughing at these idiots is the correct response. A male pretending to be female is a comical sight. Laugh away!! Don't take them seriously. THEY WANT AND DEMAND OUR RESPECT. The best thing to do is to deny respect.
I have often wondered whether the kindest and fastest path out of this trap would be for boys who have taken this path this to be laughed at and humiliated whenever they show their face in public. Surely the make-up, nail polish, handbag, skirt and all the rest of it would be ditched there and then? I'm too polite and cautious to do it myself. But one of the reasons why I feel sorry for them is that they are making themselves look so weird and ridiculous.
It doesn't matter what I think of them. But almost every person they interact with when trying to get a job, secure a rental property, or work with people in any capacity will probably have some discomfort at this strange lifestyle choice, and may think that the person is mentally unstable and best avoided.
If this were real, I'd be all for kindness and understanding. But it's not, it's doing a lot of damage, and the only question in the mind of anyone who can see this should be, "how can we stop it as quickly as possible?"
Respect not earned is reduced to contempt.
The title of this essay is A Lesson to Learn - I think there is a lot for all of us to learn. Sounds like the author had a change of heart and was sad to see another person caught in the trans trap? Clearly she was thinking about her nephew. It seems like she learned a lesson and found compassion? Maybe? This is a tough time for everyone affected by this cult. I am not sure I wouldn’t have gawked a little out of curiosity as I have had very limited exposure to any transgender MTF or FTM. It is all very depressing and frightening because I have learned so much from PITT, the recent published PITT book, and from detransitioners stories on podcasts. I know this ideology is harming children and we could be left with a whole generation of sterile people - and for what purpose? I cannot believe this gender issue will continue forever - the pendulum must swing in our favor. I hope and pray.
Yes, the title of this essay is "A Lesson to Learn."
How about a little forgiveness for everyone in the story.
Sure, take a look at them, but follow them around the supermarket? That is just weird, and exactly the sort of weird that our opponents will pounce upon.
It's not weird in the same way that it's not weird to be drawn to the scene of a terrible accident or a fight. The most you can say is that it is impolite to give in to the temptation. You must realise that for each person prepared to admit to it, maybe hundreds will do it.
The MTF in question might not know it, but they are a spectacle, a focus of fascination and (depending on how much exposure people have had to the negatives of this cult) perhaps horror.
The moral question (regarding politeness) is beside the point, in the same way that it is beside the point to question the morality of a cliff when people choose to walk off it.
Also, there is no moral equivalence between saying "you look ridiculous" and the act of sterilizing healthy teens or putting them on the path to it. I'm not saying that being rude is the solution. I'm only saying that if you or anyone is accused of being rude, you need to keep a sense of proportion and not imagine you've given the moral high ground to the other side.
I know two wrongs don’t make a right, but is following someone to observe them so very terrible? So what would be your advice or opinion of the OP finds her MTF standing at the sinks in the female restroom? Would it be rude to stare then? Would it be rude to challenge their presence? What about the day she wakes in the female ward and finds the MTF in the next bed? Would it be rude to shriek a bit?
I don’t think ‘our opponents’ have got much of a leg to stand on, to be frank. ‘Be Kind, be polite’ or make a place to stand, and defend it?
I occasionally see questions on here about "how can we convince the center-left to join our cause?" As a center-lefty, I have a couple thoughts:
It feels pretty contradictory to claim young trans people are imagining being discriminated against and mistreated, but then see nothing wrong with following one around in a store glaring even after he was kind to you! (I'm referring here to comments, not to the author). Or to even say they deserve to be harassed with personal questions in public. And saying they invite this by simply appearing trans and going about their necessary daily tasks in public, offends me-i have a large birthmark that draws questions. It's on my leg and can be covered with shorts but in the summer I sometimes want to get my groceries, without sweating my butt off, without being approached by strangers to ask if I had a failed tattoo removal. Would I be inviting questions by wearing shorts?
Regardless, acts toward any individual that are dehumanizing, as a rule, do not tend to encourage that individual to be a more pro-social actor. And as someone else said, aggression begets aggression. Rudeness yields rudeness. Arguing tends to make people dig their heels in deeper.
Finally, it seems a bit strange for the author to go from wondering if the individual she saw had been groomed or traumatized, to being rude to him even after he was friendly to her. And then to say "I learned all trans people aren't evil" with the implication obviously being that initially that trans person was considered evil. While it's certainly possible to be a victim and also guilty, it seems disingenuous to claim your child or other children are victims of a evil cult, but lump all the rest of the people with the same issues as you child into that evil cult. When do they go from innocent victim to evil?
I have been stared at for 50+ years. I have a visually obvious chronic arthritic condition that has caused me to look rather twisted and deformed. I stare back. Or laugh. Or make a face. Or all 3. When I used to walk around the mall for exercise, moms would grab their little kids by the shoulders and drag them WAY out of my path. Like, to avoid the monster. So, there's lots of rudeness to go around, and very little tolerance for anything even a little bit out of the ordinary. None of this is new. If you have any reason (voluntary or not) to present different than "normal," better grow some rhino hide. And a cynical sense of humor. Trans or not, NO ONE has the right to expect to be the exception, and NO ONE has the right to expect others to sympathize with or understand your particular issues. Trans people seem to want to re-write those rules. That will NOT work. Ever. Despite Margaret Mead and her delusional ilk, human nature, and the basic tenets of interactions in human society, are just NOT that easy to change. In any case, Reality ALWAYS wins. Because it's reality.
You can never get a lefty to leave the left in any fashion, because even if you convince them on a single point of issue, there's too many other things they agree with the Democrats on to ever give them up.
The really stupid thing though, is that the Democrats actually hold many rightwing positions within their election platform, but thanks to indoctrination by the progressives, they're taught to obey their instructions that those positions actually sit to the left on the spectrum. So they don't even realize they've been supporting a Libertarian far right view of the issue all along. And whenever I try and explain this mistake to them that they don't hold a leftwing view on a given subject, they feel so hurt they can't bring themselves to admit they might be wrong about something and lash out with insults, because they never aged to a maturity level that can hold a proper debate to examine their arguements weaknesses calmly.
The conservatives aren't well educated either because so many of their views fit within the leftwing draconian version of government too.
Uneducated mental slobs on both sides. Their petty insults make me want to insult them back but at least I'm smart enough to know why I do it.
They go from innocent victim to evil perpetrator when a male puts on lipstick and pretends to be a woman. In a play, it's fine. In the store, it is not. It is propaganda which seeks to convert other younger children to this evil delusion. And that means that it is evil. That this man is evil.
If he were a salesman of heroin, and doing so because he needed money for his own addiction, he would be evil. The trannies are evil in that they are grooming children to this evil delusion.
This is why I so dislike and castigate that piece of crap Ellen Page who appears in public nude to show her mastectomy scars. This is porn, and it is grooming other young women to do the same.
The trannies are both victims and victimizers. That they are victims DOES NOT EXCUSE THEIR GROOMING PERVERSION.
I really hope none of these victims cross your path. How hard hearted.
A man in lipstick in public is just a man in lipstick in public. A woman in pants in public. A woman with no lipstick in public. A man with earrings in public. A woman with no earrings in public. Any or all of these things may be a little weird to you or someone else, but all are totally victimless and morally neutral.
Sorry, but I'm this context, a person keeping to himself-or with his companion-in a public location-and not even one catering especially to children-and making no attempt to interact with others until after one has followed him around staring and is now standing behind him staring at the checkout asked doesn't move when another lane opens up just doesn't cut it as grooming to me. Grooming requires messaging. Implicit messaging. Existing in public where others may see you, simply isn't that. You dilute the meaning of a serious word as well as the true suffering of victims when you begin to stretch the definition of grooming like that. It also just doesn't meet the definition of perversion. The truth is the author had no way of knowing what, if any, "perversion" lurked behind the person's head because the author wasn't told. Some are autogynephiles or otherwise seeking sexual gratification, but it simply strains credulity to think that each member of this group is sexually motivated. Thus, "the trannies" as a group are not victimizers in the ways you describe. Not 100% of them. And therefore, it's just bad behavior to go around treating all of them as though they're evil. Not to mention the author assumed this man was trans which would make treating them all like shit even worse, because that's going to become a slippery slope toward every woman with hair shorter than her chin is treated like an "evil" "trannie."
A drug dealer actually gives someone else the tools of their own destruction. Not the same as someone who passively exists in public, not interacting with strangers.
When you make arguments that are so extreme as to be obvious ridiculous overgeneralization, it tarnishes your whole viewpoint. I consider myself more or less moderate on this issue and try to read all sides to stay informed without growing biased or incorrect. Trust me when I say that going overboard in your arguments is off-putting to those you need to win over in order to effect the change you want.
One more thing: given that the man in the store was followed for merely appearing in public, support of stories like this sort of plays right into the hands of advocates who exaggerate the level of hostility trans people face in public. It also looks bad to the viewing public who aren't informed and simply see a friendly-seeming trans person being followed by a strange person with a hateful look on their face. Again, it actually harms the cause.
thank-you for this post.
PITT is verging too close to the line of hatred.
Word to the wise: just back off of hatred. back away. reclaim your own inherent decency and humanity.
It's incredibly sad to me how many parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc come here claiming to love their children fiercely and wanting to help them, but then become so angry and hostile-both internally as well as explicitly-towards trans-identified people in general. That attitude is only going to drive their children further from them, and complicate the matter by giving the children some real ammunition to cut off contact, run away and claim that their parents are hateful or emotionally abusive. I can understand how it happens that people become over-invested and ultimately their anger gets the best of them, but as parents it is in fact their job to handle their emotions so they don't cause their child to feel rejected or hurt. I do allow for the possibility that people come here to vent so they can present a neutral face to their family, but then posts like these make me question that. Frankly, I read some of the comments here and think "gender issues totally aside, their kid has a point when they said their parent emotionally injured them."
It saddens me that so many families are being ripped apart as various members become more and more polarized-and indeed push each other to become more extreme and entrenched in their views-over what is, at least at the start, a psychological issue causing someone suffering. An issue for which we have pitifully ineffective treatments. Dehumanizing people who are trying to do their best to make their way with what's available isn't going to solve anything.
Do you have a child that is trans? I do. Please don't pretend to know whether I love my child enough to meet your expectations of what that should look like. I would think that any mother would not want their child to purposefully mutilate themselves in order to live out some fantasy, but in this upside-down world people look to me as the monster. We don't encourage anorexia, self-soothing by cutting, suicide, etc. Why? Because they cause bodily harm. But chopping off your genitals is just fine?! The world has gone absolutely mad and I refuse to participate in the madness. Imagine thinking I'm emotionally injuring my child because I don't want him to chop off his penis. Truly bizarre. Truly.
That's not what I said. I was not referring to not wanting your child (or any) to have surgery, nor did I say that that would injure anyone. Actually I wasnt referring much to any feeling or behavior a parent may have toward their own child, I was actually talking more about their behavior towards the general trans public. I was specifically talking about behavior and attitudes that regard trans or very gender non-conforming individuals simply going about their daily lives in public as being okay or right to abuse, follow, stare or glare at and generally treat with aggression-and that a man-a stranger-is asking for and deserving of such attention simply by wearing "female" clothes in public.
I also don't presume to know how you feel. Or anyone. Actually, my point was that none of us know what another is feeling-and that includes one's child. They make interpretations and assumptions based on your words and actions, and it really doesn't matter to them how you feel inside if their impression is something very different. So, it concerns me that children-or anyone really-are going to see the behavior I described above and earlier in this thread, and make or become more entrenched in assumptions-accurate or erroneous-that their parents are hateful or hostile. And no, I don't have a trans child. But again, I wasn't really talking about the internal experience of parents. I was talking about what their children would make of their external presentation. And as an adult child, albeit not trans, I have had some direct experience in that area. My parents have been horrified at some of the impressions I had of them as a teen. But that was honestly the best understanding I was capable of forming based on their words and actions at the time.
Finally, I'm honestly not trying to attack you or any parent-i would hope that maybe someone might reconsider their actions in hopes of improving their relationship with and ability to best guide and protect their children. That is all.
It's not just that young man who is living a deluded life, it's his girlfriend too. They are just another heterosexual couple who have found a way to not feel "normal" or "unexceptional". I just hope they are using contraception because the last thing they need is the addition of a child into their unhealthy lives. NB only one of them has the ability to be a "gestator" and they don't get to choose which one of them gets to do this.
No one is born in the wrong body: https://lucyleader.substack.com/p/follow-the-yellow-brick-road
Precisely. I didn’t have a trusted adult to tell me that if I didn’t like femininity I could become a boy. I had a trusted feminist librarian at school who gave me books and said that it is society that needs to change.
Based lady.
I’m struggling with this post. If I had been in the store with this obvious MAN pretending to be a woman, I would have felt venum. He is a part of the group that stole my vulnerable son, who is visibly declining at 21 after two years of wrong sex hormones. The author writes “I am sure I made that young man feel very uncomfortable and maybe even a little self-conscious.” Along with greed in the industries profiting from destroying healthy bodies, toxic compassion is also fueling the trans cult. I wish women would stare at my over six feet tall son when he goes into a women’s bathroom in his ridiculous outfit and his disturbing hormone induced breasts. Maybe negative feedback could help wake up delusional people to face reality and get real help (though admittedly scarce, as my field (psychology) is infiltrated with providers doling out toxic compassion.
Maybe we should not normalize deluded people who may be influencing more young people to join this horrific body-mutilating, family destroying cult. If a man went shopping in his underwear, he would be told to leave, and if he objected and claimed he is a dog who doesn’t wear clothes, he would be escorted to the ER for a psychiatric evaluation. I don’t have a clear idea on how to respond to those immersed in the trans cult. Honestly, staring seems mild at this man who is misogyny in a dress and whose presence in public propagates this harmful social contagion.
I couldn't handle a family member like that no matter where they fit on the family tree - root, trunk or branch.
I'd still cut them off with the bigest axe I could wield.
“Maybe negative feedback could help wake up delusional people to face reality and get real help (though admittedly scarce, as my field (psychology) is infiltrated with providers doling out toxic compassion.”
I think this really depends on individuals’ personalities. Some people would dig in their heels harder.
A valid point. No matter what guidance my husband and I offered our son, he dug his heels in harder around his terrible trans cult path. That said, if society was less accommodating to people in this controlling, reality-denying trans cult, maybe there would be more desisters and less new recruits choosing the delusional destructive trans path and less people transing their children (child abuse)
Very good points! I agree with you 100%. I find myself enraged when reading the news or watching the news and all the affirmation crap. This is not healthy. California is flaunting their support and trying to divide more families. So sad. I am afraid for the future…
Straring at someone part of destroying lives and families is mild, and likely not to be videotaped. That. said, this post about how to react to a man's pathetic costume in a store reinforces the need to push back in more impactful ways than just staring for the trans cult to be dismantled and reality to prevail. Like voting for anyone who actually sees through the lies of the trans cult or encouraging law suits against the greedy or ignorant people destroying healthy bodies, which subverts people getting actual help while also supporting this horrific social contagion.
When you are living such a bold faced lie one should be prepared for some pushback and stares. The damage to children trying to process seeing that in public is unnecessary and we need to protect all children and women. We must stand for truth, men are men and women are women, anything else is disordered.
Absolutely! Enough!
We all get triggered by people, but let's remember everyone here is from a generation where we dressed weird and acted weird and our elders didn't like it. You boomers pioneered the unisex look, remember? :) Gen X, we dragged homosexuality out of the closet and made it acceptable with horrible punk hairdoes and bad Toni perms and clown makeup (rather a lot like your kids today), as it should be since general estimates are that like 10-15% of any given population is likely gay, whether you know it or not. And Y & Z took the androgynous thing further and if they'd left it at cosplay they'd outgrow, and hadn't dragged the medical profession into it (or maybe the meds came a-calling and their progressive parents didn't say NO enough) and things really spiralled out of control.
Whether you approve of anything apart from Biblically-sanctioned practices or not is beside the point, but if you're really going to belabour it please include your defence of why Biblically-sanctioned slavery should be okay in the modern day, and vigilante justice for with stones for whores and heretics. Just sayin', if you're going to be anal about your fave holy book. But...if you're not that much of a radical, consider what Thich Nhat Hanh says: Treat everyone in front of you as though they're the most important person in the world. Yes, even the people you hate the most, including Andrew Tate, Nazis, MAGAs, womanfacers, whatever. Make no assumptions about them because you don't know how they got to where they are and you would be horrified to know how the worst of the worst of the worst of humanity wound up in no-parole maximum security prison. Even vicious killers and kiddie rapists have a history, and it may very well be worse than anything you've ever heard.
It's not easy to do and I don't do it very well either. But I aspire to be better. And I totally understand everyone's triggers because I still have them too, but you'll probably have fewer toxic interactions with people if you make a good-faith effort to be kind to everyone UNTIL they've been a jerk to you. As it turned out, the author's trigger did something nice for her. Who knows? Maybe he was being all Buddhist monk about her.
I'm working on getting along with people I can't stand, because guess what...not all right or left wingers are extremists and the rest of us silently agree more or less with each other about a lot and if we stick to the stuff we agree on we can fight our mutually agreeable battles better.
I'm a left-leaning progressive liberal but still far from woke and I don't care where you stand on guns, abortion, Jesus, Trump, or Biden(s).
Let's all figure out a way to stop this madness. *With compromise*. ;) I love you all anyway!
Very well said. I believe Moderates in both parties agree on many things associated with this.
That's why I'm working to bring more of us together to put aside our differences and figure out what my side's doing better, what your side is, and maybe integrate them so they can work even better together.
I assume posting your screed makes you holier-than-thou and helps you justify your choices.
Judging from your posts, you have not yet read Christian scripture.
I wouldn't know what makes libs happy as I'm not a lib. But Alinsky apparently suits you.
I'm well aware of this. So my question to you is, how many slaves do you think *you're* using? And are your husband or sons whacking off to enslaved women on YouPorn every night? So they're not just *my* slaves, they're *your* slaves too, unless you're living in a cave, and I know you're not because they don't have Internet access. The computer or mobile you typed your response on was made by the same slaves that made mine. There are slaves in your town or county you look down on because they're 'filthy whores' as the Bible treats them, and those same Good Bible Men, like you, never asked *why* women prostituted themselves or wondered how they could help them support their families if they had no husband.
I wonder if the pastor of your church enlists the use of slaves when he's feeling horny? Maybe he gives them a tip to make himself feel better about it. Although I guess he doesn't need to pay a pimp for slaves if he's Catholic. He's already got a congregation full of sex toys.
Actually I'd bet Moses' slaves, and even Pharoaoh's, if the story about Jewish enslavement was actual history rather than an unsupported myth, were better than slavery today for reasons that would be slavesplaining to you now. It was just deeply weird that you took exception to my pointing out the Bible condoned slavery. The groups I made snarky comments about have earned their bad reputations even as I know "not all..." whatever. I wrote a Substack about slavery today in which I castigated the slavery-obsessed woke 'antiracists' for carrying on about an institution America and the rest of the western world officially banished 160+ years ago, and that parts of Africa have NEVER stopped the slave trade - and even Nigeria is only just now, dragging its feet going, 'yeah, we should probably put an end to this.' Lotta hypocrisy all around, and I think I also said that if 'antiracists' think it was so awful they can go to Africa to stop it, or stay here and stop the slave trade, and oh, by the way, how many black men are availing themselves of free porn, which is a $99B industry and, as always, is accessed primarily by men? Because, I pointed out - they're okay with slavery when it's wankable.
Glad you recognize we're all guilty, but I don't know how we extricate ourselves from it. Maybe Vladdie Putin will help us out with a nuclear war, and the survivors can figure out how to live without electronics once the EMP knocks them all out. Although, I expect slavery and rape will make a wildly popular comeback, so i'm hoping personally for annhilation myself. I expect i'll get it as Toronto would be a big target, the financial centre of Canada.
Interesting. I wasn't familiar with this but I love ancient history. "I have not raised my voice," and "I have not been angry," - well I guess everyone wound up in the maw of Amut although one has already testified that they haven't been angry *without just cause* ("Well, the asshole that just went before me cursed my cattle with disease and cast witchcraft to make my wife barren!" :) "I have not practiced witchcraft against the king," (no, but everyone else was fair game :) ) "I have not eaten the heart," must have been pretty easy for everyone if one didn't count animal hearts. Thanks for sharing this.
I wish I could agree with you, because clearly one thing we DO agree on is the evils of slavery. Yet it's existed for many thousands of years, in old times and places, in all cultures that weren't or aren't still hunter-gatherers. The globalists are the ones making money off slavery to feed *the markets*. And the demand for low-paid or no-paid labourers are everyone from the small business that hires illegals and pays them (or even non-illegals) under the table, and, in the case of porn, *the men who want and demand it*.
Men will ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS support slavery, however tacitly and in denial, until they learn that Penis doesn't not necessarily deserve what Penis wants. And I made that crack about your husband or son, Donna, to illustrate something you may prefer not to know or think about - that men in your house may be availing themselves of slavery-driven porn and you will never know it, unless you one day experience what British women call The Knock - when police come to your door and say your male household member has been arrested for an online law they've broken that they won't be entirely transparent about, but you later find out is accessing or downloading kiddie porn. Which they may or may not know are underage kids, or pretend they're not. There's been a crackdown on illegal porn by online payment processors but it's nowhere near close to what we need to eliminate it. YouPorn isn't the problem; the market is the problem, just as, with prostitution, the problem isn't women willing to whore themselves out (for whom it may be their ONLY way of making money, which fuzzifies whethr they're truly 'consenting') but *the men who want to pay women for sex*, often for sex acts their wives consider disgusting and refuse to perform.
As for my anti-Christianity, you can blame all those who 'identify' as Christians but clearly aren't. I lived for over forty years in the US before I moved to Canada and I spent twenty of them fighting people like you. I can tell by your comments you likely 'identify' as Christian too, but I could be wrong. I can't stand fundamentalist Christianity for the same reason I can't stand the 'wokes' - you're both dangerous, mind-sapping authoritarian cults. They're separate from the *real* Christians, the *real* conservatives, the *real* liberals, the *real* progressives.
Seems to me you're the one who thinks they're so so special. Answer this question. What kind of god would allow these atrocious things to thrive?
Is he the same God who led so many of his followers to support Donald Trump?
You *have* read the Bible, right? You talk like a Christian so I assume you consider yourself one. So I'm assuming you *do* understand that you can't be both a Christian and a Trump supporter, right? I've read the Bible too, stem to stern (well, I skimmed the begats and the micromanaging of the Temple construction).
I feel this. My son thinks he is MTF. He has presented as female since he was 16 and it has destroyed his life. I agree with you that this movement is evil. It is literally being used to indoctrinate kids and get them away from their families. The purpose of this indoctrination could be many things, but none of those purposes make it right. I disagree with transgender bot being a thing. It is. But, not to the level that this has been taken to. It’s not that God made a mistake. We did. We have changed our bodies so much that they don’t work right. I think there are people who are born with the mind of one sex and the body of another, but it’s just as rare as truly intersex people. And all the crap we put in our bodies is the cause.
I’m so glad you shared this story. I’m so glad that you shared with us what you learned. It’s definitely a valuable lesson for all of us and something to really think about. I send good vibes out to your nephew and hope he comes back to you. Good luck.