Estrangement, noun the state of being alienated or separated in feeling or affection, a state of hostility or unfriendliness. the state of being separated or removed. Estrangement/estransgement: it is indeed both of these meanings. Being estranged from one’s child is something no mother ever imagines—at least it wasn’t in my realm of possibilities. I cannot recall knowing of any parent-child estrangements when I was younger. Even now, the only parent-child estrangements that I am personally acquainted with are trans estrangements. Sadly, there are many of us in this club of impossibilities. Estrangement with a child is life in the twilight zone. With a trans estrangement, the twilight turns to dusk, life gets stranger.
Turing was forced to take hormone suppression because of laws that basically criminalized homosexuality. This was not his choice. It was either that, or prison.
I'm writing this as someone who is gay that grew up in a very religious household, and went to an incredibly strict private Christian school. In the complete absence of "acceptance", or "tolerance" I still knew I was gay. My story is not uncommon. No one brainwashed me. In fact, it was the opposite since I was exclusively only taught that it would send me to hell. What I wish happened was just once someone would've said "hey, it's ok there's nothing wrong with you". That's it. That's all we're asking for.
Hi, I'm back as promised to tell you the interview went well with FOX, I was able to say alot in 2 hours but they'll use maybe 6 minutes if I'm lucky. I described the indoctrination of kids to reject their loving and devoted parents. Expressed my horror at the harm done to kids and families, and my anger at fellow health professionals. I tried my best, the rest is out of my hamds.
I too, lost my adult daughter. She told me she was going on vacation, to spend time with her best friend for his birthday. She cut off all contact. Changed her name. Hasn't even responded to messages sent through her best friend.
Horrifying. Speechless. Despair. Rage. I feel you. This is the path no parent should ever need to walk. We are with you and you are not alone. Wishing you peace.
Strange too that it is possible to live again with an estranged daughter. She has a deep voice, facial hair, no breasts so passes as a man. When I look only at her face I can still see some of the beautiful feminine girl that she was. I miss the sweet voice. My daughter is a drug addict. Testosterone is to blame
She is a drug addict. I understand the "T" gives them a high. You are the one who knows her and loves her and are there to pick up the pieces. Where are all those affirming school administrators and teachers? So sorry. It's like NXIVM meets the opioid epidemic with everybody patting themselves on the back about how they are "accepting" of some sort of new 3rd sex.
I am being interviewed this week for a FOX documentary about indoctrination in the K-12 system. I will reread this piece beforehand to get me "in the mood". The challenge is to stay cool and calm when I want to scream. I must present the facts in a professional manner without loosing my mind from rage.
To the author: I will have your nightmare in mind and will describe it if possible. I am fighting for you and all parents with all I've got.
Miriam Grossman MD (Child, adolescent and adult psychiatrist and author)
Have you thought of pairing this with "to my daughter's therapist: you were wrong"....to show the other path which celebrates and truly affirms the young person?.
Thank you so much, Dr. Grossman. By the way, I just went on your website and discovered you've written a gender critical children's book, The Black & White Puppy, which I just ordered from the amazon website. Here is the link for everyone who wants to inoculate children against the "transgender" pandemic that's infecting our whole country.
Oh that’s wonderful to hear. I wrote that book so parents could counter the cultural narrative before their kids are exposed to it. It emphasizes the biological bond between mothers and children from before birth. It also explains how cuddling promotes attachment, to counter the hook up culture that says sex is only about pleasure. It’s not at all about transgenderism but my biological approach certainly challenges the notion of what you feel is what you are. If kids hear these ideas early, they are in a better position to refute the agendas they’ll encounter later on. Let me know what you think!
As a mother I have to show no emotion. Rage is a feeling certainly justified. Our daughters are being drawn into a cult supported by police. They are offered extra police protection “because they are trans”. They are vulnerable and often mentally ill.
I was threatened with arrest for trying to protect my daughter from the trans cult before she left home. Later, when II tried to find out where she was the police would not tell me. They just said she was safe
Oh Peg. My heart goes out to you. This is as terrible and terrifying a situation as anything from a dystopian novel or film. And to think that the police are involved in it, too.
I am not a physician, but am a medical researcher, statistician, and medical educator. I have been on the faculty of one or another D Psychiatry in my career. At this time, my faculty home is within the D Pediatrics.
So, you are not a captive of "Team Gender-Dysphoria". Of other pediatricians that you know, what is your opinion about the degree of agreement with the "gender-dysphoria delusion"?
If you are comfortable, I'd give you my email to chat more directly.
I am so sorry to hear your heartbreaking story. This should never happen yet it is not uncommon. There's been broad Kindergarten - University institutional capture. And, it's spreading. More vulnerable young people and their families will suffer. Until your child is captured by a cult you might never imagine that your close bond could be damaged like this. Your daughter will feel your love and come back someday. But, she should never have been medically damaged. College is not a "safe space". I am not a lawyer but this needs to get expensive for the bad medical people and schools. I think indoctrination starts with "Using Pronouns". Perhaps all who are not in a delicate situation with their own child might sign off "Beep/Bop/Boop" in an "I am Spartacus" vein. Where are the rational, moral lawmakers?
This is so heartbreaking. It will be cold comfort to this mom, but there must be no leniency shown to institutions that have behaved in this way. When the truth comes out, they must be held to account, including bankrupting and shutting down institutions and individuals. Burn it all down.
We like individual good teachers but I think at this time the teachers unions need to be "burnt down". Maybe the Department of Education - started in the 1970s - should go as well. It's time to hit "reset". Social Workers are a big problem as well.
Yes, DFS is a terrible thing. 35 years ago, we had a real problem with DFS. My daughter, then 6, was observed scratching her privates in school. This was considered a symptom of sexual abuse. It turned out to be pinworms for the whole family. We each took a pill and problem was solved. But there were some concerning statements made, without a shred of evidence.
Those concerning statements put on file can be dragged out years later and read out of context. Scary. What a bad example these social workers are setting for our children. Judgements are made based on feelings with no evidence required. They let children tell them they are trans, based entirely on feelings. No evidence required.
It's time to name these institutions. What parent will allow the daughter, the son, to go to a institution of "higher learning" which will mutilate that child? Did the parent raise a child for 18 years to have the child be mutilated and perverted? I don't think so.
There's at least one lawyer who reads these comments. So, here's a lawyer question:
Let's say PITT decided to make a list of colleges/universities which supported the mutilation and destruction of children via hormones and surgery. And let's say that this list was publicly available for parents to look at. Parents spend 18 years raising their kid, supporting them, feeding them. They do not want to kid to go to college and be helped in taking hormones that destroy their fertility and surgeries that cut off their boobs/dicks.
So, could this list and the authors of the list be sued? Is there a legal risk in setting up such a list and making it public?
90% of those who join groups, leave them. Lisa Marchiano did a really helpful interview with Pat Ryan, a group/cult expert. https://www.intervention101.com/ I wonder if there's his org can do in situations like this where there's been a do not contact order? Thank you for sharing your story; the capture of campuses is astonishing and these clinics need to be held accountable. I have tried to imagine the nightmare of estrangement and it fills me with terror. Based on her avoidance of you, I would guess she knows you love her desperately and would have discouraged this system-inflicted-harm; deep down I'd bet she also knows you love her unconditionally, and she can come home when she's ready to heal.
Calling them "cults" is along the right line. This trans insanity is a cult. The problem, though, is that kids in college are adults. Parents have no control legally over the kids, and thus cannot compel them to be "de-culted". The only control is by cutting off the money from the kid.
Maybe control is not the right approach? I'd rather influence my child through relationship than control her. 18-25ish is the most vulnerable time because these young adults still have childlike brains.
Yes, with autistic spectrum condition the brain is wired differently and even at 25 I wonder if the brain will still be vulnerable to the trans deception. We have no control when our child is on a testosterone “high”. This drug gives a sense of power. Gone is the timidity and caution which kept my pretty sweet girl safe from impulsive boldness and it’s consequences.
Where are the responsible authorities in medicine, law, and education? I believe they have either been "snowed", are virtue preening, or are on the grift.
I also agree with George when it comes to holding these institutions accountable and am grateful for his "lawyer" question. Let's hope he gets an answer that we can work with!
What is the university? It's time to up the approach.
Universities rely on new students every year. What is needed is a full information approach so that other parents know that their children will be mutilated and perverted.
It's also time to stop saying "it's a lifestyle". Trans is a perversion and a mutilation.
What should the mother do? Cut the kid off completely. No money. No support. No family. The kid is lost. Cut the kid off. Tell grandma and grandpa to cut the kid off. No support.
Their daughter is getting paid for adopting this identity and has already cut herself off. I'm guessing there was a lot of encouragement from the school counselors. Don't forget that if you've been coached to believe this drug is what you need, anyone who believes otherwise will be seen as a threat.
I liked the response someone made to another college article. Send this essay to every donor at this school. All the alumni. The people funding their initiatives. The companies who want this school associated with them. This is what they are helping to support.
But I'm guessing the parents risk even more rejection from their daughter, which is already a nightmare.
The kid took out an order of protection. The issue of "estrangement" is over. The kid has cut the cord. Will she come back? Probably in 10 years. Until then, the parents need to be proactive. Cut the kid off, tell grandparents that the kid is gone.
Possibly they should consider a divorce. From the kid.
This is so terrible really. What people are doing is not working. The kid is holding the parents hostage by her behavior. The parents need to go on the offensive.
Yikes! I would say their daughter needs to know her family will always welcome her back. I do however agree with the suggested actions toward the university and its supporters.
That's the problem, SM. So much acceptance. :"Do whatever you want, honey. Jump off the bridge. Take drugs. Shoot the cops. Remember, we are here for you. We love you and always will support you. " Uhh, really? Kid cuts off her boobs, that's good with mom and dad?
This "radical acceptance" crap is WHY we are here. It's time to re-set BRIGHT LINES.
How does this help? If radical acceptance was the culture, why are these kids so vulnerable to the idea that their bodies are wrong? I understand the frustration and anger, but we truly are talking about vulnerable children whose brains are not yet fully developed. They're being used as pawns. As a mother, I would never consider punishing my child in this way. I don't see how sacrificing those who've fallen prey to this helps us shut it down.
The reason they are "vulnerable" is that this is the hysteria of the time. You need to read "Popular delusions and the madness of crowds". These children are not vulnerable. They are being swept up in a hysteria. Other hysterias of recent years include anorexia, bulemia, multiple personalities, and demon worshipping at day care centers (you may think I am making that up, but look for "McMartin day care satanic" on yer googler). These hysterias sweep children up. There are several reasons. First of all, they allow the kid to separate from the parent. Second, they give the kid blackmail tools - "If you don't let me cut my boobs off, I'll kill myself". Third, they get massive reinforcement from other kids.
Also "support you" doesn't mean we support you to do whatever you want. It means we are are your tribe and will always have your best interest at heart. This means we will also let you know when we believe you're doing something harmful to yourself or others--things you're doing that we do not support.
Turing was forced to take hormone suppression because of laws that basically criminalized homosexuality. This was not his choice. It was either that, or prison.
I'm writing this as someone who is gay that grew up in a very religious household, and went to an incredibly strict private Christian school. In the complete absence of "acceptance", or "tolerance" I still knew I was gay. My story is not uncommon. No one brainwashed me. In fact, it was the opposite since I was exclusively only taught that it would send me to hell. What I wish happened was just once someone would've said "hey, it's ok there's nothing wrong with you". That's it. That's all we're asking for.
Hi, I'm back as promised to tell you the interview went well with FOX, I was able to say alot in 2 hours but they'll use maybe 6 minutes if I'm lucky. I described the indoctrination of kids to reject their loving and devoted parents. Expressed my horror at the harm done to kids and families, and my anger at fellow health professionals. I tried my best, the rest is out of my hamds.
I too, lost my adult daughter. She told me she was going on vacation, to spend time with her best friend for his birthday. She cut off all contact. Changed her name. Hasn't even responded to messages sent through her best friend.
Heartbreaking
Horrifying. Speechless. Despair. Rage. I feel you. This is the path no parent should ever need to walk. We are with you and you are not alone. Wishing you peace.
Strange too that it is possible to live again with an estranged daughter. She has a deep voice, facial hair, no breasts so passes as a man. When I look only at her face I can still see some of the beautiful feminine girl that she was. I miss the sweet voice. My daughter is a drug addict. Testosterone is to blame
She is a drug addict. I understand the "T" gives them a high. You are the one who knows her and loves her and are there to pick up the pieces. Where are all those affirming school administrators and teachers? So sorry. It's like NXIVM meets the opioid epidemic with everybody patting themselves on the back about how they are "accepting" of some sort of new 3rd sex.
I am being interviewed this week for a FOX documentary about indoctrination in the K-12 system. I will reread this piece beforehand to get me "in the mood". The challenge is to stay cool and calm when I want to scream. I must present the facts in a professional manner without loosing my mind from rage.
To the author: I will have your nightmare in mind and will describe it if possible. I am fighting for you and all parents with all I've got.
Miriam Grossman MD (Child, adolescent and adult psychiatrist and author)
Have you thought of pairing this with "to my daughter's therapist: you were wrong"....to show the other path which celebrates and truly affirms the young person?.
Please come back here after the interview and let us know how it went and when it will air. I wish you all the best.
I will do that
Thank you so much, Dr. Grossman. By the way, I just went on your website and discovered you've written a gender critical children's book, The Black & White Puppy, which I just ordered from the amazon website. Here is the link for everyone who wants to inoculate children against the "transgender" pandemic that's infecting our whole country.
https://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/0692536612/ref=ox_sc_act_title_1?smid=ATVPDKIKX0DER&psc=1
Oh that’s wonderful to hear. I wrote that book so parents could counter the cultural narrative before their kids are exposed to it. It emphasizes the biological bond between mothers and children from before birth. It also explains how cuddling promotes attachment, to counter the hook up culture that says sex is only about pleasure. It’s not at all about transgenderism but my biological approach certainly challenges the notion of what you feel is what you are. If kids hear these ideas early, they are in a better position to refute the agendas they’ll encounter later on. Let me know what you think!
As a mother I have to show no emotion. Rage is a feeling certainly justified. Our daughters are being drawn into a cult supported by police. They are offered extra police protection “because they are trans”. They are vulnerable and often mentally ill.
I was threatened with arrest for trying to protect my daughter from the trans cult before she left home. Later, when II tried to find out where she was the police would not tell me. They just said she was safe
The forces against us are huge
Oh Peg. My heart goes out to you. This is as terrible and terrifying a situation as anything from a dystopian novel or film. And to think that the police are involved in it, too.
I'm so sorry.
Huge.
I'm so sorry.
I am not a physician, but am a medical researcher, statistician, and medical educator. I have been on the faculty of one or another D Psychiatry in my career. At this time, my faculty home is within the D Pediatrics.
So, you are not a captive of "Team Gender-Dysphoria". Of other pediatricians that you know, what is your opinion about the degree of agreement with the "gender-dysphoria delusion"?
If you are comfortable, I'd give you my email to chat more directly.
Bless you. I recommend viewing this Benjamin Boyce interview regarding Gender Indoctrination in the public schools: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mi-526ptMz4
Totally and utterly heartbreakin. 💔
I am so sorry to hear your heartbreaking story. This should never happen yet it is not uncommon. There's been broad Kindergarten - University institutional capture. And, it's spreading. More vulnerable young people and their families will suffer. Until your child is captured by a cult you might never imagine that your close bond could be damaged like this. Your daughter will feel your love and come back someday. But, she should never have been medically damaged. College is not a "safe space". I am not a lawyer but this needs to get expensive for the bad medical people and schools. I think indoctrination starts with "Using Pronouns". Perhaps all who are not in a delicate situation with their own child might sign off "Beep/Bop/Boop" in an "I am Spartacus" vein. Where are the rational, moral lawmakers?
This is so heartbreaking. It will be cold comfort to this mom, but there must be no leniency shown to institutions that have behaved in this way. When the truth comes out, they must be held to account, including bankrupting and shutting down institutions and individuals. Burn it all down.
We like individual good teachers but I think at this time the teachers unions need to be "burnt down". Maybe the Department of Education - started in the 1970s - should go as well. It's time to hit "reset". Social Workers are a big problem as well.
Yes, DFS is a terrible thing. 35 years ago, we had a real problem with DFS. My daughter, then 6, was observed scratching her privates in school. This was considered a symptom of sexual abuse. It turned out to be pinworms for the whole family. We each took a pill and problem was solved. But there were some concerning statements made, without a shred of evidence.
Those concerning statements put on file can be dragged out years later and read out of context. Scary. What a bad example these social workers are setting for our children. Judgements are made based on feelings with no evidence required. They let children tell them they are trans, based entirely on feelings. No evidence required.
terrible
It's time to name these institutions. What parent will allow the daughter, the son, to go to a institution of "higher learning" which will mutilate that child? Did the parent raise a child for 18 years to have the child be mutilated and perverted? I don't think so.
Name names. Publicize these institutions.
Write your alma maters, ask them if they do this and tell them what you think if it?
There's at least one lawyer who reads these comments. So, here's a lawyer question:
Let's say PITT decided to make a list of colleges/universities which supported the mutilation and destruction of children via hormones and surgery. And let's say that this list was publicly available for parents to look at. Parents spend 18 years raising their kid, supporting them, feeding them. They do not want to kid to go to college and be helped in taking hormones that destroy their fertility and surgeries that cut off their boobs/dicks.
So, could this list and the authors of the list be sued? Is there a legal risk in setting up such a list and making it public?
90% of those who join groups, leave them. Lisa Marchiano did a really helpful interview with Pat Ryan, a group/cult expert. https://www.intervention101.com/ I wonder if there's his org can do in situations like this where there's been a do not contact order? Thank you for sharing your story; the capture of campuses is astonishing and these clinics need to be held accountable. I have tried to imagine the nightmare of estrangement and it fills me with terror. Based on her avoidance of you, I would guess she knows you love her desperately and would have discouraged this system-inflicted-harm; deep down I'd bet she also knows you love her unconditionally, and she can come home when she's ready to heal.
The capture starts early now: https://notthebee.com/article/kindergarten-teacher-using-the-respectful-reindeer-to-teach-pronouns-to-little-kids
Calling them "cults" is along the right line. This trans insanity is a cult. The problem, though, is that kids in college are adults. Parents have no control legally over the kids, and thus cannot compel them to be "de-culted". The only control is by cutting off the money from the kid.
Maybe control is not the right approach? I'd rather influence my child through relationship than control her. 18-25ish is the most vulnerable time because these young adults still have childlike brains.
Yes, with autistic spectrum condition the brain is wired differently and even at 25 I wonder if the brain will still be vulnerable to the trans deception. We have no control when our child is on a testosterone “high”. This drug gives a sense of power. Gone is the timidity and caution which kept my pretty sweet girl safe from impulsive boldness and it’s consequences.
Where are the responsible authorities in medicine, law, and education? I believe they have either been "snowed", are virtue preening, or are on the grift.
Yes, I agree that parents of 18-25 YOs have no legal control. The only control is that of affection and duty.
I agree with cutting off the money but not the love.
My heart breaks for you. I absolutely agree with George....time to "out" the schools that encourage children to accept this mutilation.
I also agree with George when it comes to holding these institutions accountable and am grateful for his "lawyer" question. Let's hope he gets an answer that we can work with!
What is the university? It's time to up the approach.
Universities rely on new students every year. What is needed is a full information approach so that other parents know that their children will be mutilated and perverted.
It's also time to stop saying "it's a lifestyle". Trans is a perversion and a mutilation.
What should the mother do? Cut the kid off completely. No money. No support. No family. The kid is lost. Cut the kid off. Tell grandma and grandpa to cut the kid off. No support.
Their daughter is getting paid for adopting this identity and has already cut herself off. I'm guessing there was a lot of encouragement from the school counselors. Don't forget that if you've been coached to believe this drug is what you need, anyone who believes otherwise will be seen as a threat.
I liked the response someone made to another college article. Send this essay to every donor at this school. All the alumni. The people funding their initiatives. The companies who want this school associated with them. This is what they are helping to support.
But I'm guessing the parents risk even more rejection from their daughter, which is already a nightmare.
The kid took out an order of protection. The issue of "estrangement" is over. The kid has cut the cord. Will she come back? Probably in 10 years. Until then, the parents need to be proactive. Cut the kid off, tell grandparents that the kid is gone.
Possibly they should consider a divorce. From the kid.
This is so terrible really. What people are doing is not working. The kid is holding the parents hostage by her behavior. The parents need to go on the offensive.
I'd disinherit the kid. Formally.
Yikes! I would say their daughter needs to know her family will always welcome her back. I do however agree with the suggested actions toward the university and its supporters.
That's the problem, SM. So much acceptance. :"Do whatever you want, honey. Jump off the bridge. Take drugs. Shoot the cops. Remember, we are here for you. We love you and always will support you. " Uhh, really? Kid cuts off her boobs, that's good with mom and dad?
This "radical acceptance" crap is WHY we are here. It's time to re-set BRIGHT LINES.
How does this help? If radical acceptance was the culture, why are these kids so vulnerable to the idea that their bodies are wrong? I understand the frustration and anger, but we truly are talking about vulnerable children whose brains are not yet fully developed. They're being used as pawns. As a mother, I would never consider punishing my child in this way. I don't see how sacrificing those who've fallen prey to this helps us shut it down.
The reason they are "vulnerable" is that this is the hysteria of the time. You need to read "Popular delusions and the madness of crowds". These children are not vulnerable. They are being swept up in a hysteria. Other hysterias of recent years include anorexia, bulemia, multiple personalities, and demon worshipping at day care centers (you may think I am making that up, but look for "McMartin day care satanic" on yer googler). These hysterias sweep children up. There are several reasons. First of all, they allow the kid to separate from the parent. Second, they give the kid blackmail tools - "If you don't let me cut my boobs off, I'll kill myself". Third, they get massive reinforcement from other kids.
Also "support you" doesn't mean we support you to do whatever you want. It means we are are your tribe and will always have your best interest at heart. This means we will also let you know when we believe you're doing something harmful to yourself or others--things you're doing that we do not support.
It's so sad that this madness has been allowed to continue.