53 Comments

This really choked me up. I think we all go through this hard guessing process , second thoughts about silly minucha that should not matter at all. I felt every fold of paper with you , every gift tag, every gift. There was only one big mood swing from female hormones in the wrong body but it did scare me that our son was just going to pack up and leave in the middle of the night and go to his own place on the other side of our city. I don't know which is worse ....having him here and being on pins and needles for the short stay or worrying about what's next in his life and ours. Lord have mercy, Christ have mercy, Lord have mercy and thanks for sharing every tearful thought. One comment on here that is helping me process my own troubled mind is : grief is just love with no where to go. Thanks community writers and sharers.

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On reading this, it reminded me so strongly of all the families tyrannised by an anorexic child I met and have read about in the course of a career looking after anorexics, as a psychiatric nurse.

In so many of these families the sick child had taken on so much power, and all other family members were constantly walking on eggshells. Luckily in that field, doctors and therapists seek to empower parents and enable them to gradually restore sanity in the household, but unfortunately when it comes to anything related to the gender madness, parents get no support.

I wonder if it could be useful for you to attend or study the principles of self-help organisations like Al Anon or Nar Anon, sister organisations to Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous, which are designed to help parents and partners of drug or alcohol affected loved ones to develop some healthy boundaries? You don’t have to accept all the quasi-religious language about higher powers etc but the principles of letting go of a sense of responsibility over things that can’t be controlled can be very helpful.

Also the book Lost in TransNation by Dr Miriam Grossman could be invaluable.

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Amen.

Sending prayers and hugs🙏❤️

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We really need to be kinder to ourselves, the problem lies with them and their choices, not ours. Keep being who you have always been, it was good enough before and it is good enough now. If we change how we behave and act around them then we are bringing ourselves under the same dark spirit. We cannot fight evil with low frequency fear, anxiety, and compliance, we must only use high frequency love, happiness, and consistency. The darkness needs low frequency to thrive, don't feed it.

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AMEN!!

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I agree…it’s all so ridiculous & dark. I don’t want dark…nobody’s happy

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I was just wrapping gifts and have the same pink paper with Santas on it! And I had the same thought about wrapping some things for my son in it as well in order to avoid making my daughter who thinks she’s a boy upset. I decided to avoid the paper all together. I’m so over this! I hope you are able to have a Merry Christmas anyway 😘

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What else can you do other than wrap, bake, pray, and dream? The consistency of those things, along with the consistency of the love may win her back when the time is right. The fabric of her trans community will one day become weak. And you will still be there—wrapping, baking, praying, and dreaming. ♥️

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I relate. Makes my heart bleed.

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Merry Christmas to all of us. Praying for each and every family torn apart by this insidious cult. May we all find peace and truth and the damage done be not so much that we can’t come back.

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My son (transitioning to daughter but with no new name or outward signs as yet) said he does not believe in Christmas any longer and doesn't want to do anything. Then he got upset because we cancelled our Christmas get together with his grandfather -- for many reasons -- nothing to do with him. It's back and forth . . . and he wants my sympathy and support. I've know for 28 days . . . just not there yet. Don't know if I ever will be.

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My stand is to offer protection and love and try to understand his reasoning. I can not support any of it. My motherly instincts won't let me.

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Still so raw. Give yourself grace. It’s a long slog. I’m sorry you’re going through it at all but you’re not alone.

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How sad to be denied the simple joys of family gatherings and holiday traditions. It must be like navigating a minefield as you try not to "offend" your daughter with gestures of kindness. You have my sympathy.

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Worst part of the Trans cult is the exits are all boobytrapped. Stay strong parents, one day reality will win them back. See Stephanie Winn's work for help on X, YouTube, podcasts, and her website.

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Wow! I'm really wondering what you mean by "the exits are all booby trapped". Could you write a column on that subject? The community would benefit I'm sure.

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The Trans exists are all boobytrapped.

Sadly, today identity is tearing us apart. This word identity means I will do whatever in the hell I want to do, and no one can stop me. Those of us with children who have claimed an opposite sex identity are confronted with an endless array of topics, political and spiritual whether we like it or not. Mature people know that everything we do is a sacrifice to our future selves. What we do today affects us later. We all know a Trans identity is not some alternative mode of being, pretending that you are the opposite sex from your very own existence, is not going to workout over the long term for anyone well. Our sex at birth is more basic than anything, more basic than up or down, than light and dark, it is the most basic marker as a human, being male or female. Trans is a great sacrifice being made by our children today. What are they sacrificing? Here are a few - Stability, long term relationships, long term romantic partners, long term occupations, skills being learned and honed to lead to a stable existence, becoming the best version of oneself, and more. Our trans children will not mature and grow socially.

Trans is a somewhat new hedonistic mode of being our children are pursuing for whatever reason; they are violating the age-old relationships between men and women that have existed for eons. They are refusing to grow up to become the sort of person that can stand responsibility for themselves, for their love interests, for children, for work relationships, for future family, for everything. What happens when our children are 40, 50, 60 years old, are isolated, alone, and possibly us parents and lots of family are gone as well. Of what good will our trans children be to society and others around them, seriously. Who will want them around, what sort of people will be able to be in their presence and live side by side with them in any meaningful flowering way. Our children will become bitter and dangerous. Mine sure is, she has wished death upon us and become violent. The path our children have chosen is not something that can be replicated En masse so that success will blossom for any type of society, and we all know that. Maybe there will be fleeting moments of happiness, but they won’t last, happiness never really does, it’s not meant to.

We all know the best predictor of success is IQ and second to that is conscientiousness. Conscientious people are willing to forego immediate gratification to make better sacrifices for their future selves. They let go of what they want right now to stabilize things in the long run including other people around them. This is also the definition of maturity. Our children have sacrificed their bodies and minds for striving by hook or by crook some never never land utopia, where everyone around them will have to go along with an absolute lie. Where children are unprotected from their gender confusing presence. Where women will never feel safe in a bathroom, changing room or locker room.

Our children have been taking cross sex hormones, untested as to potential long-term effects on their bodies, or untold (unreported) of them anyway. Our children have willingly, wantonly, undergone cross sex surgeries removing perfectly good healthy body parts and attempting to create cross sex anatomies that we all know is completely futile mutilation and worse. Our children through social media live in a fantasy land full of mostly anonymous porn fueled men encouraging their every step to do more destruction to their bodies for their pleasure. A world where sick psychopathic doctors and all the “experts” live encouraging them onward. Our children cling to glitter families who profess their love of them and encourage them to continue living on this Trans “identity”. Our children live in a land completely void of maturity in any real sense that our eon’s of humankind have largely flourished in.

Some Trans identified people have families that have encouraged them onward, one more surgery, it's always going to be one more surgery isn’t it. Sacrifice everything you could become for one more surgery, that’s the sacrifice being made by our Trans children, one more surgery. They may stop or opt out of these surgeries but there lies “the candy man”, there lies the perpetual allure, one more surgery.

How to escape it, well stopping the hormones and stopping the thoughts of surgery, or no more surgeries are one thing which will not be easy and will have side effects. The real fight will be two-fold, first with yourself that everything you have done or thought, that every sacrifice you made to better yourself has done the absolute opposite, and that you did it willingly to your self (this is the worst), is going to be one big mine field. Secondly, coming to grips with the untold number of people who have taken advantage of you and encouraged your corruption and deceit along the way, all the experts, everyone (right – everyone said affirm), but a few parents and a few desisters, this is really going to take a long time to heal from. This is what I mean when I said the exits are booby trapped, it is going to take herculean efforts to get our trans children back on track, and no one else is going to do it except a few parents like us.

This is why as parents of trans children no matter how hard it is, we must keep the door open, just a crack so they know we will help them, we will be there for them and God willing because I do believe in His purposes that good can come out of this, it has happened before, we all know it has, we have all seen people recover from terrible circumstances. Our children are on this hero’s journey right now, when they come to, and realize reality we will be the only ones there to help them and become their true hero selves. No one ever said it was going to be easy, people are amazingly strong and resilient – we have all seen it before, it will happen again here. Be patient, hold fast, be lovers of truth, take care of yourself, your trans child is going to need you, no one else will be there for them, you must be! God speed - AD

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Terrific response ! This should be printed and handed out to all who want/need it .

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Christmas was such a joyous time of year. It’s so unbelievable that my son, who is now 26 , just wants to celebrate it alone without family.

The pain he has caused us and he doesn’t care. I will never understand. This is my second Christmas without him.

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I repeat: grief is love with no place to go. May you know the comfort and knowledge of God through the Son he sent into the world to forgive and restore the whole world.

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Ours is not celebrating alone- He replaced us

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The trans cult destroys capacity for empathy from its disciples for his or her parents. A foundation of this horrid cult is an abominable narcissism.

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I’m so sorry. I will never understand either

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It is so painful at birthdays and holidays. The only thing we can do is pray and hope that someday they’ll come back to their families. I don’t send a gift or card because there is never any response. I may text a quick message of peace to her on Christmas Day. But I don’t expect any response which hurts. Also reaching out help others makes me feel better. You can adopt a family or donate gifts to shelters. And I refuse to let this miserable situation ruin happy times with family and friends who love me. May you find joy and peace and hope in the New Year.

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That’s so true. Much nicer to be loved & appreciated than dismissed

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So sorry for you at this special time of year. Hold on. Hold on for change... surely it will come, maybe in 6 months, 1 or 2 or 5 years... that time will come for her and then for you. Hold on and have a merry Christmas knowing other parents are holding you in our hearts.🥰

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It really is a cancer. I’m sorry for your pain and the pain that so many of us are dealing with in so many different ways. I hope our kids can come out of this soon and we can all put our lives back together and move on from the insanity.

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May Jesus’ love shine through to you during this difficult time.

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