Five years, it has been five years since the gender craze struck our family and turned our flawed, but mostly content life upside down. Really, if I consider the pansexual declaration, which so many trans-identified young ladies make before coming out as trans, it has been six years. And it has been almost two years since
Thank you for this. My son is a senior, we are in the process of getting him ready for college. I too have worries, as I’ve read/heard people say don’t do college with a gender questioning kid. But he is so incredibly smart. Even with dual credit and AP classes, high school has been unchallenging for him. I hope college will bring about mental growth for his mind and the social interactions necessary in dorm life, will help wake him from this ideological slumber.
I loved the grace and faith in your post,. Thank you for sharing your ups and down. My story is sadder and more discouraging. Right up until the explosion of my daughter's trans identity, I had a strong faith in a higher power, a spiritual force for goodness. But with my daughter's 'coming out' as trans along with all the medicalization, pronouns, and threats of surgery, I feel completely, utterly abandoned by the god of my understanding. It's all I can do not to hurl curses at the sky.
Don’t walk away from God. He doesn’t offer an easy road, but he does promise to never leave us. He tells us that we will have trials but He has overcome the world. His plan doesn’t always look like we want it to, but it is good.
Your comment makes me cry. brings tears to my eyes. At the moment I can't believe in my own faith, but I do believe in your faith, I believe in the faith of parents like you, it is faith by proxy.
How interesting, today's verse from the Bible is just what she mentioned you above and I came here to share it in this platform. It is certainly for you and I, and for all of us on this journey. I'm not pretending that my faith hasn't been shaken or tested, or I haven't questioned God, or all that he apparently let happened in our family, but again and again, there's still no other Rock, no nothing other I could cling to and survive but Him alone. He is The Truth and Love. It is a broken world we live in, but He never changes and He is good, even though when there are times it is difficult to believe. If I/we must go through this hardship I want to go through with Him, because He never let me down - neither you.
"I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have [perfect] peace. In the world you have tribulation and distress and suffering, but be courageous [be confident, be undaunted, be filled with joy]; I have overcome the world.” [My conquest is accomplished, My victory abiding.]" John 16:33
I will be praying for both of you and your kids. We cannot control what happens when our kids become adults. We can pray and love and offer advice. But we can control ourselves and how it affects us and where we put our trust. I am grateful for the solid rock in the midst of stormy seas and I pray that you would find comfort in His love.
I can relate to your comment as most parents who are Christians can. I think we tend to believe that if we are faithful and true that nothing bad will happen. But the truth is that God gave us our agency. All men must learn to know the good from the evil. Our children are using their agency and it hurts because this evil tears families apart. I wish we could be spared from this awful pain that I never imagined would happen to my family but I am learning so much from it. I still pray to God and ask him to help my children remember who they are and to feel his love. I have left it in his hands. They were his before they were mine.
Dear One, thank you for bringing us this beautiful piece of your journey. I can feel your heart as you write, and it is a lovely reminder of our Lord's grace. He, alone, gives us peace. I pray that your beloved child continues to pull out of the horrible fray. I am ten years in with my three grandchildren and I am praying for God's truth to triumph, in this, our arena, and all areas of wrongdoings against our young. I do believe there is a shift in society, even though America is behind other countries in recognizing what is happening to our children. We, the hurting families involved, know that we are in a battle that is among many battles currently being waged against evil, and we know Who wins the war.
That's right, I am not the father I was before the tranny craze and have changed significantly as we all had to become PhD's in trannyism. We all miss our prodigal children who are welcomed home whenever they are ready to return.
Our story is similar to yours too. I am on this road for 4 years from her coming out as trans, plus a year before when we learned about her bisexuality. She's 22 now. I got closer to God too during this process - I was close to Him before, but this really taught me to be absolute dependent upon Him. She's on T from last year's April and still lives with us. It's difficult. I needed to learn that I have a life, my own life, husband and a son, family, friends, church, work. hobbies, etc. I became so centralised to the trans issue, I needed to understand I have to shift my focus. It doesn't mean I don't pray anymore or it's not important anymore, yes it is, and it's huge, but can't filter everything through the "gender lens". Also I found it hard that this is a marathon, even with God. I still believe He could intervene like overnight, but I think in most of the cases it's a process. Also I cannot live the intense pain I had at certain points of this road (coming out/starting on T, etc). and those crisis caused me to pray really passionately and fervently. And meanwhile I still do pray and try to be persevered and pray fervently I think that God is faithful and merciful and gracious, when I may not have the same intense prayer just a sigh, that "God please have mercy on her ". I try to get up on my feet over and over again and stand on the gap, but there are days, when I'm so tired to fight for her almost on my own. But won't give up. God's strengthening me and there will be a victory, she will be coming back to her Lord.
I find helpful too the group of faith with parents on this same road, and I cherish that group. I found difficult too as a person of faith that our perspective is not as valid as someone who has no particular faith.
This is my (almost) exact story but a year behind (right down to the pansexual and prayers and being in the Word and working on our relationship is the #1 priority) but our Christian psychologist tested her for ASD last fall. My daughter likes her Aspie diagnosis. I would love to connect and to find a "safe" college. At Autism camp last year, she was put in the boys cabin.
Seems no where is safe. When our son first told us, we found a “ Christian” therapist. I spoke with him first and did some vetting. We live in a state with conversion therapy laws, so he did choose to call him by his chosen name. It was so unhelpful. He only went for a couple of months.
You wrote "I have to trust that my God is still going to bring good from it, and beauty from our ashes." This made me cry. So simple but yet so powerful. May you continue this journey with God's peace. I used to have near panic attacks thinking about my nephew (who is estranged) and then I would remember that God does not want me to be afraid or worry but to trust in Him. I believe that God is protecting my nephew and watching over him while he is trying to figure out his place in this great big world - trans or no trans commitment. I have been praying daily for my nephew, for my sister and her husband, for this PITT sub stack, and for all the parents and families who write these stories. We are not alone in this horrific time in history, and I can only hope and pray that the ending is going to be justified and that the groomers and teachers and coaches, the doctors and therapists, the clinics and surgeons, will all be held accountable. Amen!
Thank you for sharing. My story is so similar to yours, my daughter now 18 also graduated in May, unfortunately she started testosterone a year ago. This brought me closer to God and changed me 100% in so many ways. She came back home. We are happy she is back. But she didn’t desist and we don’t know what will happen, we are just trying to show how much we love her, she don’t mind being called her name now, but her friends still call her by a male name. Please share with me how to find Christian parents groups, I’ve been walking “alone” on this nightmare since 2020. None of my Christian friends know how to help other than praying which is a huge help. But I would love to connect with someone like you who been through the same situation. Your story is so inspiring. Thank you for this update.
I am in a start-up Christian group and we are looking to connect with more areas in the Midwest. We have been meeting monthly face to face for over a year and the logistics are handled through a Catholic church (even though I am not Catholic). It is a life-saver. Can we connect through our substacks? Mine is a fake name and I wrote PITT dated Aug. 23, 2022 but I wonder how to connect? I also hooked up with StoicMom and did an episode on her podcast in Oct. 2022 called "Looking for Miracles with Erin". She is not a Christian but she is helping so many parents. Satan wants us to feel alone and helpless.
If there is a way to share emails, I want in on the Christian group :-) My daughter will be 18 this school year.
As someone in this group who is politically Left and whose 18 y/o daughter is on the same timeline (announced identity overnight 10 months into the pandemic lockdown at age 15, ticks all the ROGD boxes) and who is not Christian, I continue to have tremendous respect for those who have faith. It's important, and if it provides much needed support, it's vital. I, too, have been helped enormously by StoicMom, who has helped me look at my own health and ability to model a good, loving and curious approach to my life. We need to find joy amidst this pain however we can. I will look for that podcast, Erin, and wish you all well with the Christian support group!
It has seemed to change my son and I see God working in both of us. I have had to surrender to God because I am not able to fix this one, only He can. Thanks for sharing your story.
"This was the same psychologist who had told me that my daughter just needed to learn how to live as a non-binary person instead of exploring her other difficulties."
What does being a non-binary person even mean, much less learning how to live like one? How unhelpful of the psychologist, especially since it's arguable that the non-binary identity category is a socially constructed fiction that's learned not innate.
Thank you for this. My son is a senior, we are in the process of getting him ready for college. I too have worries, as I’ve read/heard people say don’t do college with a gender questioning kid. But he is so incredibly smart. Even with dual credit and AP classes, high school has been unchallenging for him. I hope college will bring about mental growth for his mind and the social interactions necessary in dorm life, will help wake him from this ideological slumber.
God bless you and your daughter.
So eloquent and emotional
I'm not crying. You are. 🙏💜🫂
thank you, that is much appreciated. thank you!
I loved the grace and faith in your post,. Thank you for sharing your ups and down. My story is sadder and more discouraging. Right up until the explosion of my daughter's trans identity, I had a strong faith in a higher power, a spiritual force for goodness. But with my daughter's 'coming out' as trans along with all the medicalization, pronouns, and threats of surgery, I feel completely, utterly abandoned by the god of my understanding. It's all I can do not to hurl curses at the sky.
I know how you feel, I felt exactly the same, without God it only gets worse , we need Him, He did not abandon you.
“This suffering person cried out: the LORD listened and saved him from every trouble.”
Psalms 34:6 CEB
https://bible.com/bible/37/psa.34.6.CEB
The miracle we need can only come from Him. Keep the faith and when it gets too hard ask for more faith. Take care of your self.
Don’t walk away from God. He doesn’t offer an easy road, but he does promise to never leave us. He tells us that we will have trials but He has overcome the world. His plan doesn’t always look like we want it to, but it is good.
Your comment makes me cry. brings tears to my eyes. At the moment I can't believe in my own faith, but I do believe in your faith, I believe in the faith of parents like you, it is faith by proxy.
How interesting, today's verse from the Bible is just what she mentioned you above and I came here to share it in this platform. It is certainly for you and I, and for all of us on this journey. I'm not pretending that my faith hasn't been shaken or tested, or I haven't questioned God, or all that he apparently let happened in our family, but again and again, there's still no other Rock, no nothing other I could cling to and survive but Him alone. He is The Truth and Love. It is a broken world we live in, but He never changes and He is good, even though when there are times it is difficult to believe. If I/we must go through this hardship I want to go through with Him, because He never let me down - neither you.
"I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have [perfect] peace. In the world you have tribulation and distress and suffering, but be courageous [be confident, be undaunted, be filled with joy]; I have overcome the world.” [My conquest is accomplished, My victory abiding.]" John 16:33
I will be praying for both of you and your kids. We cannot control what happens when our kids become adults. We can pray and love and offer advice. But we can control ourselves and how it affects us and where we put our trust. I am grateful for the solid rock in the midst of stormy seas and I pray that you would find comfort in His love.
Adding you to my prayer list as well.
I can relate to your comment as most parents who are Christians can. I think we tend to believe that if we are faithful and true that nothing bad will happen. But the truth is that God gave us our agency. All men must learn to know the good from the evil. Our children are using their agency and it hurts because this evil tears families apart. I wish we could be spared from this awful pain that I never imagined would happen to my family but I am learning so much from it. I still pray to God and ask him to help my children remember who they are and to feel his love. I have left it in his hands. They were his before they were mine.
I’m adding you to my prayer list. I will be praying that God shows you his goodness and that your joy will be complete in Him.
Dear One, thank you for bringing us this beautiful piece of your journey. I can feel your heart as you write, and it is a lovely reminder of our Lord's grace. He, alone, gives us peace. I pray that your beloved child continues to pull out of the horrible fray. I am ten years in with my three grandchildren and I am praying for God's truth to triumph, in this, our arena, and all areas of wrongdoings against our young. I do believe there is a shift in society, even though America is behind other countries in recognizing what is happening to our children. We, the hurting families involved, know that we are in a battle that is among many battles currently being waged against evil, and we know Who wins the war.
Love, Indio
That's right, I am not the father I was before the tranny craze and have changed significantly as we all had to become PhD's in trannyism. We all miss our prodigal children who are welcomed home whenever they are ready to return.
Thank you for sharing this!
Our story is similar to yours too. I am on this road for 4 years from her coming out as trans, plus a year before when we learned about her bisexuality. She's 22 now. I got closer to God too during this process - I was close to Him before, but this really taught me to be absolute dependent upon Him. She's on T from last year's April and still lives with us. It's difficult. I needed to learn that I have a life, my own life, husband and a son, family, friends, church, work. hobbies, etc. I became so centralised to the trans issue, I needed to understand I have to shift my focus. It doesn't mean I don't pray anymore or it's not important anymore, yes it is, and it's huge, but can't filter everything through the "gender lens". Also I found it hard that this is a marathon, even with God. I still believe He could intervene like overnight, but I think in most of the cases it's a process. Also I cannot live the intense pain I had at certain points of this road (coming out/starting on T, etc). and those crisis caused me to pray really passionately and fervently. And meanwhile I still do pray and try to be persevered and pray fervently I think that God is faithful and merciful and gracious, when I may not have the same intense prayer just a sigh, that "God please have mercy on her ". I try to get up on my feet over and over again and stand on the gap, but there are days, when I'm so tired to fight for her almost on my own. But won't give up. God's strengthening me and there will be a victory, she will be coming back to her Lord.
I find helpful too the group of faith with parents on this same road, and I cherish that group. I found difficult too as a person of faith that our perspective is not as valid as someone who has no particular faith.
Just what I needed to read today. Thank you.
This is my (almost) exact story but a year behind (right down to the pansexual and prayers and being in the Word and working on our relationship is the #1 priority) but our Christian psychologist tested her for ASD last fall. My daughter likes her Aspie diagnosis. I would love to connect and to find a "safe" college. At Autism camp last year, she was put in the boys cabin.
Seems no where is safe. When our son first told us, we found a “ Christian” therapist. I spoke with him first and did some vetting. We live in a state with conversion therapy laws, so he did choose to call him by his chosen name. It was so unhelpful. He only went for a couple of months.
I’m so sorry.
God bless and keep you and your family. Stay strong.
You wrote "I have to trust that my God is still going to bring good from it, and beauty from our ashes." This made me cry. So simple but yet so powerful. May you continue this journey with God's peace. I used to have near panic attacks thinking about my nephew (who is estranged) and then I would remember that God does not want me to be afraid or worry but to trust in Him. I believe that God is protecting my nephew and watching over him while he is trying to figure out his place in this great big world - trans or no trans commitment. I have been praying daily for my nephew, for my sister and her husband, for this PITT sub stack, and for all the parents and families who write these stories. We are not alone in this horrific time in history, and I can only hope and pray that the ending is going to be justified and that the groomers and teachers and coaches, the doctors and therapists, the clinics and surgeons, will all be held accountable. Amen!
Waking Up The Woke...
https://www.theepochtimes.com/epochtv/they-are-feeding-our-children-lies-sen-scott-blames-radical-left-for-anti-semitic-school-activities-5523215?utm_source=News&src_src=News&utm_campaign=breaking-2023-11-06-1&src_cmp=breaking-2023-11-06-1&utm_medium=email&est=UcKajf53ogof0%2FOiy4CddrhkpXcilb3a%2BMfkWq61v8R8ngSy5IfGyWcgDVx5fSccd9E%3D?utm_source=ref_share&utm_campaign=copy
Thank you for sharing. My story is so similar to yours, my daughter now 18 also graduated in May, unfortunately she started testosterone a year ago. This brought me closer to God and changed me 100% in so many ways. She came back home. We are happy she is back. But she didn’t desist and we don’t know what will happen, we are just trying to show how much we love her, she don’t mind being called her name now, but her friends still call her by a male name. Please share with me how to find Christian parents groups, I’ve been walking “alone” on this nightmare since 2020. None of my Christian friends know how to help other than praying which is a huge help. But I would love to connect with someone like you who been through the same situation. Your story is so inspiring. Thank you for this update.
I am in a start-up Christian group and we are looking to connect with more areas in the Midwest. We have been meeting monthly face to face for over a year and the logistics are handled through a Catholic church (even though I am not Catholic). It is a life-saver. Can we connect through our substacks? Mine is a fake name and I wrote PITT dated Aug. 23, 2022 but I wonder how to connect? I also hooked up with StoicMom and did an episode on her podcast in Oct. 2022 called "Looking for Miracles with Erin". She is not a Christian but she is helping so many parents. Satan wants us to feel alone and helpless.
If there is a way to share emails, I want in on the Christian group :-) My daughter will be 18 this school year.
As someone in this group who is politically Left and whose 18 y/o daughter is on the same timeline (announced identity overnight 10 months into the pandemic lockdown at age 15, ticks all the ROGD boxes) and who is not Christian, I continue to have tremendous respect for those who have faith. It's important, and if it provides much needed support, it's vital. I, too, have been helped enormously by StoicMom, who has helped me look at my own health and ability to model a good, loving and curious approach to my life. We need to find joy amidst this pain however we can. I will look for that podcast, Erin, and wish you all well with the Christian support group!
I’m going to see if I can get editors to share my email with you.
Me too.
Thank you
It has seemed to change my son and I see God working in both of us. I have had to surrender to God because I am not able to fix this one, only He can. Thanks for sharing your story.
"This was the same psychologist who had told me that my daughter just needed to learn how to live as a non-binary person instead of exploring her other difficulties."
What does being a non-binary person even mean, much less learning how to live like one? How unhelpful of the psychologist, especially since it's arguable that the non-binary identity category is a socially constructed fiction that's learned not innate.