Six years. We have been fighting for our son for six years. Everywhere we turn we are asked if we would rather have a live daughter or a dead son. The favored trump card of the transgender cult. The emotional manipulation cuts and hacks at us.
I am so saddened by how many families this has affected. I am 1 1/2 years in. Although it feels like it’s been an eternity. I wake in the middle of the night crying. I cry silently, as to not wake my husband. Our son is in his senior year of HS. I look at all the pictures of his childhood. Just a little boy who liked to dress up as a soldier or superhero. Raced on his bike. All boy. No signs that any of this could be coming.
I too was given this ultimatum. I visited my son last Thanksgiving in Baltimore. He introduced me to his "glitter mom" two doors down. She proceeded to praise him, throwing in the she pronouns and purposely baited me by saying I must be proud of my daughter. I stayed silent and smiled, sharing the baked goods he and I picked out for her.
Later that day, he was so mad at me, he said he didn't know if we could remain in relationship if I didn't call him daughter, use his female pronouns and his chosen name. I dropped him off for work. He didn't speak to me for the rest of the night.
I screamed, cried and pounded the steering wheel in a mall parking lot, and finally succumbed knowing that the preservation of the relationship was the goal.
We all make tough decisions. I don't say this lightly. I know the pain of this. The absolutely wrecking of your family, your self worth, your beliefs. I wish you weren't in this, or others. We don't deserve this... but these are our my sons, and we endure the pain, accusations and humility. I'm so sorry.
My son has since destransitioned since last month.. I hold that fact lightly... I don't trust he won't go back. When will this pain, this NIGHTMARE, end? Hold on to hope. Take care of yourself, focus on improving yourself. He has to walk this road himself. Hopefully he will be able to see the light through the darkness one day. That is our prayer. Sending love and light.
You need to show him the origins of trans, you need to force him to watch what is a woman, you need to ask him why he's not okay being gay, you need to ask him who is going to be in a relationship with a deformed person, you need to say all the time, boys arent girls and girls cannot be boys, you need to tell him he will be dependent on big pharma the rest of his life. You need to mail him information on dangers and side effects of hormones and surgeries. Show him photos of inside out dick operation. Show him money "gender affirming care" is making. Show him that Tavistock is closed. You need to only address him by his real name and gender. You need to get a necklace made with his name on it and wear it. You need to go full bore...stop hiding and stop being nice. And if he cuts you off- so be it.
Thank you for this power packed piece. Your suffering is cutting. Hope you have appropriate counseling &/or support providers in your area with whom you & your family can connect. Maybe you already have. We're out there looking for you!
My heart breaks for you! The liars are making your life one hell! Don’t believe them on the suicide line! It’s just another lie! I hope this insanity will end soon..enough people are now aware of it, so there’s some hope!
My daughter is 29. Because she is an adult, I said no and stuck with it. So as you might guess, we are estranged. I was cut out of her life. I have actually come to terms with the possibility of suicide. I am not folding, but I have deep compassion for parents who have bent to suicide backmail.
They say: “Would you rather have a live son, or a dead daughter?”
This is part of the scam and a ploy that is told by the “Professional” pushers of Transgenderism to get the parents to agree to the doubtful procedures.
A massive study finds “transgender” people have a significantly higher suicide rate, AFTER Transitioning, refuting what the trans activists have long claimed.
Sterilization that leads to Suicide is now called “Health Care”
Funny how this “Life Saving” and “Gender Affirming” becomes Life-Altering and ends up in so many suicides... even after all the drugs, medications, and surgeries have been done ...and paid for!
Physical and psychological well-being should be a grave concern, given that 42 percent of transgender people will attempt suicide at some point in their lives, and people who have had “sex reassignment surgery” are approximately 20 times more likely than the general population to die by suicide, and have a much better than normal chance of committing suicide, both before and after the chemical or surgical castration.
The damage being done by the Left’s war on gender is having a devastating effect on “transgender” individuals. A recent study published by the American Academy of Pediatrics found alarmingly high rates of attempted suicide among teens suffering from the so-called “gender dysphoria”.
Submitting to “Gender Ideology” does not provide any solutions for mental health, it creates even more problems. Study after study shows that depression and suicide is HIGHER after transition than before. Gender ideology is a term that refers to the belief that one’s gender identity is more important than one’s biological sex, and that one can change or affirm one’s gender through medical interventions. However, this ideology fails to provide any solutions for mental health problems that may arise from gender dysphoria or social stigma. On the contrary, it creates even more problems by denying the reality of one’s body and promoting harmful practices such as puberty blockers, cross-sex hormones, and surgeries. Study after study shows that depression and suicide rates are higher after transition than before, indicating that gender-affirming care does not improve well-being or prevent self-harm. This is one reason why other countries in Europe and the Netherlands are backing away from “affirmation-only care” and adopting more cautious and evidence-based approaches. Too bad the US is full steam ahead in the wrong direction, ignoring the risks and harms of gender ideology and imposing it on vulnerable children and adolescents. The most comprehensive study ever conducted on suicide by those attempting to transform their gender was a 30-year Swedish study that concluded those doing so were 20 times more likely to commit suicide and 2.8 times more likely to be hospitalized for a psychiatric illness.
Yes. And just when you think you've pulled someone out of the insanity, educated them and they seem receptive, like a neighbor or a friend, the next time you see them they've fallen back into the void and you have to pull them out again. It's utterly exhausting. We see very few people these days, just too exhausting to deal with our own child alone and then turn around and explain ourselves to others. We're so done. But thankful, sadly, to know we're in this together with other families.
Such a long, painful war. My heart breaks for you. Battle after battle. You know that you are doing the best you can in the fog of war, but also with much prayer. There’s no rule book or even research to guide you. Keep walking the best you can.
Someday he will surely realize that he is forcing you to lie. And that you loved him enough to fight endlessly for him, and even fold for him out of desperation.
Keep praying in the darkness and dare to believe that He will bring the dawn. Praying with you and all of the PITT parents. 🙏🏼
The destruction of the family has to be the motive for the destruction of our youth from all quarters in this country. My heart and prayers go out to you 🙏 ❤️
We are going through this with our 9 year old granddaughter. We've been told she's at risk of suicide if we don't use her nonbinary pronouns. As an epidemiologist who has investigated and helped overturn similarly entrenched medical misinformation I am heartbroken. Best short article that conveys the travesty of "Gender-Affirming care for kids": See in "The Free Press": ‘Gender-Affirming Care Is Dangerous. I Know Because I Helped Pioneer It.’My country, and others, found there is no solid evidence supporting the medical transitioning of young people. Why aren’t American clinicians paying attention?
Get her out of her environment, in person and online! Move to another state or country that isn't as psycho if necessary. She's still young enough to be deprogramned! This poison now starts in elementary schools! No need to be heartbroken yet- you still have a huge fighting chance to save her! 🙏
Well, there’s always the possibility of money. In other countries which have shut down their treatment centers, the government provides the budget and fast growers of budget eaters do become noticed. Not so in the USA where laws are in place to make it illegal for insurance to not pay.
I believe significant liability from coming lawsuits against the hospitals, clinics and physicians will be the only way to arrest the spread of children under 18 years getting irreversible treatment. When the first one is won by a complainant alleging maltreatment via mastectomy or reproductive reassignment surgery when they were young teens, a flood will hit the so called health care providers.
Have you discussed the situation with the parents of the 9 YO? A united action is best, and one that DOES NOT AFFIRM is shown to be the most effective.
Personally, I wouldn't even bend over backwards avoiding using pronouns with a 9 year old. A 9 y.o. child should know her place in the family hierarchy and should not dictate any rules to her parents and grandparents. And there is no better place to build up a bit of tolerance for mild discomfort than in the presence of a loving family. A 9 y.o. is not even a teen or a preteen, she is not even at a stage of individuation when she could be rebelling and looking for more power. The most power she can have is picking an ice cream flavor for dessert.
Dear One, I can’t use a new name because I know who you are. You moved into my heart and soul the moment you were created. I’ve loved you from before you were born and I’ll never stop. You and your Mom and Dad have a very big problem to work through and it may take years and lots of pain for you and them. I’m always here for you and want you to know you can always talk to me about any or all of this. Day or night, I’m available to you. I love you _______ and always will. Grandpa
Excellent question. I am a retired mental health professional. It seems my professions learned nothing from past mistakes like the repressed memory deal. The inmates, here, are running the asylum. Patients allowed to self diagnose and demand whatever they want or they will leave a bad review for someone. Nuts.
Here’s the biggest study I found that actually followed trans people for a long time. It appears that actual suicides were 12 / 3759 = less than 1/3 of 1%. That’s still highly tragic, but a far cry from “live son or dead daughter.”
“Overall, 3759 individuals (0.06%; 52.5% assigned male sex at birth) were identified as transgender at a median age of 22 years (IQR, 18-31 years) and followed up during 21 404 person-years, during which 92 suicide attempts, 12 suicides, and 245 suicide-unrelated deaths occurred.”
Furthermore, this study shows that the suicide rate for post operative trans people is much higher than average, indicating that likely the underlying issue is mental health, regardless of whether friends and family conform to the trans agenda.
I have no idea how to deal with an individual situation of someone close to me threatening suicide, but I find that facts and statistics can often help me react to things in a more calm, less emotional way. I wish you the best with your child.
Good data, but again, no such thing as actually "transgender". Just a more severe psychological problem that perhaps occurred before social media contagion and is extremely rare. Still a mental problem that medical mutilation violates do no harm (malpractice) People cope with all sorts of serious mental problems without amputating and rearranging healthy body parts or taking wrong sex hormones.
They are deeply brainwashed/ indoctrinated as young people. They are not necessarily dumb! It is not themselves making poor choices completely. Think of it a a possession of their minds and you might be less judgemental.
How old if you son?
I am so saddened by how many families this has affected. I am 1 1/2 years in. Although it feels like it’s been an eternity. I wake in the middle of the night crying. I cry silently, as to not wake my husband. Our son is in his senior year of HS. I look at all the pictures of his childhood. Just a little boy who liked to dress up as a soldier or superhero. Raced on his bike. All boy. No signs that any of this could be coming.
I’m so sorry 😞
Excellent, now cut off her health insurance.
I too was given this ultimatum. I visited my son last Thanksgiving in Baltimore. He introduced me to his "glitter mom" two doors down. She proceeded to praise him, throwing in the she pronouns and purposely baited me by saying I must be proud of my daughter. I stayed silent and smiled, sharing the baked goods he and I picked out for her.
Later that day, he was so mad at me, he said he didn't know if we could remain in relationship if I didn't call him daughter, use his female pronouns and his chosen name. I dropped him off for work. He didn't speak to me for the rest of the night.
I screamed, cried and pounded the steering wheel in a mall parking lot, and finally succumbed knowing that the preservation of the relationship was the goal.
We all make tough decisions. I don't say this lightly. I know the pain of this. The absolutely wrecking of your family, your self worth, your beliefs. I wish you weren't in this, or others. We don't deserve this... but these are our my sons, and we endure the pain, accusations and humility. I'm so sorry.
My son has since destransitioned since last month.. I hold that fact lightly... I don't trust he won't go back. When will this pain, this NIGHTMARE, end? Hold on to hope. Take care of yourself, focus on improving yourself. He has to walk this road himself. Hopefully he will be able to see the light through the darkness one day. That is our prayer. Sending love and light.
You need to show him the origins of trans, you need to force him to watch what is a woman, you need to ask him why he's not okay being gay, you need to ask him who is going to be in a relationship with a deformed person, you need to say all the time, boys arent girls and girls cannot be boys, you need to tell him he will be dependent on big pharma the rest of his life. You need to mail him information on dangers and side effects of hormones and surgeries. Show him photos of inside out dick operation. Show him money "gender affirming care" is making. Show him that Tavistock is closed. You need to only address him by his real name and gender. You need to get a necklace made with his name on it and wear it. You need to go full bore...stop hiding and stop being nice. And if he cuts you off- so be it.
Have you done these things?
Oh yeah and make sure you tell him he wont be having orgasms anymore!!!
Wow. What a life we lead. How old is your son?
Thank you for this power packed piece. Your suffering is cutting. Hope you have appropriate counseling &/or support providers in your area with whom you & your family can connect. Maybe you already have. We're out there looking for you!
My heart breaks for you! The liars are making your life one hell! Don’t believe them on the suicide line! It’s just another lie! I hope this insanity will end soon..enough people are now aware of it, so there’s some hope!
My daughter is 29. Because she is an adult, I said no and stuck with it. So as you might guess, we are estranged. I was cut out of her life. I have actually come to terms with the possibility of suicide. I am not folding, but I have deep compassion for parents who have bent to suicide backmail.
THE LEFT’S TRANS “SUICIDE PREVENTION” LIE:
They say: “Would you rather have a live son, or a dead daughter?”
This is part of the scam and a ploy that is told by the “Professional” pushers of Transgenderism to get the parents to agree to the doubtful procedures.
A massive study finds “transgender” people have a significantly higher suicide rate, AFTER Transitioning, refuting what the trans activists have long claimed.
https://patriotpost.us/articles/98469-the-lefts-trans-suicide-lie-2023-06-30
Sterilization that leads to Suicide is now called “Health Care”
Funny how this “Life Saving” and “Gender Affirming” becomes Life-Altering and ends up in so many suicides... even after all the drugs, medications, and surgeries have been done ...and paid for!
Physical and psychological well-being should be a grave concern, given that 42 percent of transgender people will attempt suicide at some point in their lives, and people who have had “sex reassignment surgery” are approximately 20 times more likely than the general population to die by suicide, and have a much better than normal chance of committing suicide, both before and after the chemical or surgical castration.
http://dailysignal.com/2017/10/30/ugly-truth-sex-reassignment-transgender-lobby-doesnt-want-know
The damage being done by the Left’s war on gender is having a devastating effect on “transgender” individuals. A recent study published by the American Academy of Pediatrics found alarmingly high rates of attempted suicide among teens suffering from the so-called “gender dysphoria”.
Submitting to “Gender Ideology” does not provide any solutions for mental health, it creates even more problems. Study after study shows that depression and suicide is HIGHER after transition than before. Gender ideology is a term that refers to the belief that one’s gender identity is more important than one’s biological sex, and that one can change or affirm one’s gender through medical interventions. However, this ideology fails to provide any solutions for mental health problems that may arise from gender dysphoria or social stigma. On the contrary, it creates even more problems by denying the reality of one’s body and promoting harmful practices such as puberty blockers, cross-sex hormones, and surgeries. Study after study shows that depression and suicide rates are higher after transition than before, indicating that gender-affirming care does not improve well-being or prevent self-harm. This is one reason why other countries in Europe and the Netherlands are backing away from “affirmation-only care” and adopting more cautious and evidence-based approaches. Too bad the US is full steam ahead in the wrong direction, ignoring the risks and harms of gender ideology and imposing it on vulnerable children and adolescents. The most comprehensive study ever conducted on suicide by those attempting to transform their gender was a 30-year Swedish study that concluded those doing so were 20 times more likely to commit suicide and 2.8 times more likely to be hospitalized for a psychiatric illness.
Do you hold the line or do you fold
Yes. And just when you think you've pulled someone out of the insanity, educated them and they seem receptive, like a neighbor or a friend, the next time you see them they've fallen back into the void and you have to pull them out again. It's utterly exhausting. We see very few people these days, just too exhausting to deal with our own child alone and then turn around and explain ourselves to others. We're so done. But thankful, sadly, to know we're in this together with other families.
Ditto. Absolutely exhausting.
Such a long, painful war. My heart breaks for you. Battle after battle. You know that you are doing the best you can in the fog of war, but also with much prayer. There’s no rule book or even research to guide you. Keep walking the best you can.
Someday he will surely realize that he is forcing you to lie. And that you loved him enough to fight endlessly for him, and even fold for him out of desperation.
Keep praying in the darkness and dare to believe that He will bring the dawn. Praying with you and all of the PITT parents. 🙏🏼
The destruction of the family has to be the motive for the destruction of our youth from all quarters in this country. My heart and prayers go out to you 🙏 ❤️
I’m so sorry. We’re right there with you. It’s awful. I’m praying for you and that he’ll come to his senses.
We are going through this with our 9 year old granddaughter. We've been told she's at risk of suicide if we don't use her nonbinary pronouns. As an epidemiologist who has investigated and helped overturn similarly entrenched medical misinformation I am heartbroken. Best short article that conveys the travesty of "Gender-Affirming care for kids": See in "The Free Press": ‘Gender-Affirming Care Is Dangerous. I Know Because I Helped Pioneer It.’My country, and others, found there is no solid evidence supporting the medical transitioning of young people. Why aren’t American clinicians paying attention?
RIITTAKERTTU KALTIALA
OCT 30
∙
Money
Get her out of her environment, in person and online! Move to another state or country that isn't as psycho if necessary. She's still young enough to be deprogramned! This poison now starts in elementary schools! No need to be heartbroken yet- you still have a huge fighting chance to save her! 🙏
Well, there’s always the possibility of money. In other countries which have shut down their treatment centers, the government provides the budget and fast growers of budget eaters do become noticed. Not so in the USA where laws are in place to make it illegal for insurance to not pay.
I believe significant liability from coming lawsuits against the hospitals, clinics and physicians will be the only way to arrest the spread of children under 18 years getting irreversible treatment. When the first one is won by a complainant alleging maltreatment via mastectomy or reproductive reassignment surgery when they were young teens, a flood will hit the so called health care providers.
Have you discussed the situation with the parents of the 9 YO? A united action is best, and one that DOES NOT AFFIRM is shown to be the most effective.
This is a power struggle. Your granddaughter is trying to gain power in your relationship by making you say false and evil things.
FInd a way to NOT use pronouns. Just use her name. Don't use a male name.
Personally, I wouldn't even bend over backwards avoiding using pronouns with a 9 year old. A 9 y.o. child should know her place in the family hierarchy and should not dictate any rules to her parents and grandparents. And there is no better place to build up a bit of tolerance for mild discomfort than in the presence of a loving family. A 9 y.o. is not even a teen or a preteen, she is not even at a stage of individuation when she could be rebelling and looking for more power. The most power she can have is picking an ice cream flavor for dessert.
Dear One, I can’t use a new name because I know who you are. You moved into my heart and soul the moment you were created. I’ve loved you from before you were born and I’ll never stop. You and your Mom and Dad have a very big problem to work through and it may take years and lots of pain for you and them. I’m always here for you and want you to know you can always talk to me about any or all of this. Day or night, I’m available to you. I love you _______ and always will. Grandpa
Excellent question. I am a retired mental health professional. It seems my professions learned nothing from past mistakes like the repressed memory deal. The inmates, here, are running the asylum. Patients allowed to self diagnose and demand whatever they want or they will leave a bad review for someone. Nuts.
Here’s the biggest study I found that actually followed trans people for a long time. It appears that actual suicides were 12 / 3759 = less than 1/3 of 1%. That’s still highly tragic, but a far cry from “live son or dead daughter.”
https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jama/article-abstract/2806531
“Overall, 3759 individuals (0.06%; 52.5% assigned male sex at birth) were identified as transgender at a median age of 22 years (IQR, 18-31 years) and followed up during 21 404 person-years, during which 92 suicide attempts, 12 suicides, and 245 suicide-unrelated deaths occurred.”
Furthermore, this study shows that the suicide rate for post operative trans people is much higher than average, indicating that likely the underlying issue is mental health, regardless of whether friends and family conform to the trans agenda.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3043071/
This is a good history of the trans / suicide myth’s origins.
https://genspect.org/dont-try-to-stop-me-or-ill-kill-myself/
I have no idea how to deal with an individual situation of someone close to me threatening suicide, but I find that facts and statistics can often help me react to things in a more calm, less emotional way. I wish you the best with your child.
There's no indication of whether getting medical treatment raised or lowered the risk. Or social transition.
A rigorous evidence review found the same. Insufficient data to determine effect on suicide.
And this group already has many comorbidities so they could be the cause of suicides observed too.
Good data, but again, no such thing as actually "transgender". Just a more severe psychological problem that perhaps occurred before social media contagion and is extremely rare. Still a mental problem that medical mutilation violates do no harm (malpractice) People cope with all sorts of serious mental problems without amputating and rearranging healthy body parts or taking wrong sex hormones.
They are deeply brainwashed/ indoctrinated as young people. They are not necessarily dumb! It is not themselves making poor choices completely. Think of it a a possession of their minds and you might be less judgemental.